Romantic Interest @ my flight school

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Young CFI

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Hi, I am a flight instructor at my local flight school. One of the other instructors is a very attractive female instructor my same age, single, and with the same life goals. I’d really like to ask her out, but I know romance at the work place can be a no no. That said, I don’t feel a flight school environment is your typical workplace either. Is there ever an appropriate time to seek this out or is it a hard no and I move on?
 
Love is way more important than a job

Good grief how is this a question?

Oh, maybe it’s not mutual? Or it’s lust not love? Or maybe just smitten? Etc

Otoh …love conquers all
 
I’d say if neither of you is in a supervisory role, have at it. Only exception is in like my job where we work closely with flight paramedic / nurse. We’re equal but I don't get involved because when the relationship ends badly, and a good chance it will, still gotta work with that person. In your case, if things went south, you’re not working closely with her so it shouldn’t affect your work.
 
Young CFI said:
Hi, I am a flight instructor at my local flight school. One of the other instructors is a very attractive female instructor my same age, single, and with the same life goals. I’d really like to ask her out, but I know romance at the work place can be a no no. That said, I don’t feel a flight school environment is your typical workplace either. Is there ever an appropriate time to seek this out or is it a hard no and I move on?
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Has she shown any interest in you? When you flirt, does she flirt back? Have you ever spent time together away from work? If you guys really vibe, then start slow and harmless and ask if she'd ever like to go get coffee and talk about [similar interest]. If she takes you up on that, see what develops. But be prepared for things to get awkward. As long as neither one of you is a supervisor, and your employer doesn't have an explicit rule against this, then you should be okay as long as you're willing to take "no" for an answer.
 
I was a cook at a restaurant when I was 18. My wife was a hostess.
I asked her out. Now we have been married for 25 years.
Let that be a lesson to you. If I had just gone out drinkin with the boys instead, I would have a much cheaper house, and a crap ton of money and toys in the garage.
Instead, its just kids and dogs everywhere.

I am glad you posted here so I can save you from making the same life choices I did.
 
Young CFI said:
Hi, I am a flight instructor at my local flight school. One of the other instructors is a very attractive female instructor my same age, single, and with the same life goals. I’d really like to ask her out, but I know romance at the work place can be a no no. That said, I don’t feel a flight school environment is your typical workplace either. Is there ever an appropriate time to seek this out or is it a hard no and I move on?
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I am confident that there are many similar situations at flight schools across the US and there have been several of these at my flight school. I’d start with a simple lunch invitation and if there is no interest you got your answer.
 
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Confusious was confused. We had several marriages between co-workers in my 27-years. Most worked out. Non were between supervisors and the supervised. One resulted in both parties being fired.
 
An attractive single female flight instructor in an environment dominated by dudes is going to have her guard up. You don't have to be the wealthiest, tallest, smartest, or buffest guy, but you will have to have a decent game. Play it cool and make sure she's interested before you shoot your shot. Remember, she might be the first girl who's not impressed that you're a pilot; you better have something else to offer (charm, personality, etc.)
 
Oh man, just go for it. "You miss 100% of the shots you never take" - Michael Jordan, maybe.

Even if she says no, so what? You don't really work directly WITH each other after all. And you're CFIs, chances are one of you will move on within a few months anyway.

My wife and I met at work (she was actually my senior - Major vs Captain, but not in the same chain of command, oh yeah...). Married 20 years now.
 
SixPapaCharlie said:
I was a cook at a restaurant when I was 18. My wife was a hostess.
I asked her out. Now we have been married for 25 years.
Let that be a lesson to you. If I had just gone out drinkin with the boys instead, I would have a much cheaper house, and a crap ton of money and toys in the garage.
Instead, its just kids and dogs everywhere.

I am glad you posted here so I can save you from making the same life choices I did.
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At least he’s skipping the 25 years in I.T. :)
 
"In September 2011, two pilots, Scott Veal and Kristen Sprague, who were romantically involved, were flying separate Cessna aircraft in close proximity over Western Alaska, intending to meet up and fly together to Bethel.

"According to the National Transportation Safety Board (NTSB) investigation, Veal (flying a Cessna 208B) performed a playful and unexpected maneuver, flying just above Sprague's smaller Cessna 207, accidentally clipping her wing on the way back down.

"This mid-air collision resulted in the crash of both planes. Veal died in the fiery crash of his Cessna, while Sprague was able to make a forced landing of her Cessna on the tundra and survived."

-Anchorage Daily News, Feb 13, 2014
 
You’re a flight instructor at a flight school. The pay is crap. If the higher ups say “you can’t do that” then you move 1/4 mile down the road to the next flight school and carry on with your romantic interest.

Don’t let a job stop you from being with the one you adore….unless you’re a high school teacher. Then maybe dial it back a bit and seek employment as a diesel mechanic…or a politician.
 
80% of girls under 30 only go for the top 20% of guys. Is she in the bottom 20% and/or are you in the top 20% ?
 
EdFred said:
Just bringing the real. Chances aren't great unless he's top of the heap.
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Only people of very low self esteem make these statements. A low income guy with confidence beats a high income silver spoon recipient any day of the week and twice on Sunday.

Amhik
 
If you can take 'no' for an answer without getting bent out of shape about it, give it a shot. Life's too short to not go after reasonable dreams. If you can't take a no without taking it personally, then shop someplace else. It'll be a thing forever and you'll be seen as a jerk.

I'd ignore the comments about the top X% or whatever. Truth is, women go out with guys for a lot of reasons. Some feel sorry for us, some are lousy judges of character, some like fix er up projects, some think pilots are cool. Most men are idiots, myself included, and most women are lousy at picking partners. Don't overthink it.

Half funny story? Was listening to a beautiful 20 something girl bragging about her new BF to a bunch of people. I was trying to not laugh, because I knew her type. Twenty years ago I had a lousy poker face so she said "just say it, I know you're dying to say something". So I just asked "does he have a job?" Everybody laughed, she swore at me and stormed off. Guess not!

Anyway, as long as it's not a supervisor/employee thing, those never work out, no harm. Oh, unless you work for her...that could work out. :)
 
schmookeeg said:
If your first instinct is to poll a rando audience of old pilots online, then you have no game. Save yourself the embarrassment.
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It’s how things are done now. The days of yore are gone and they ain’t coming back…no matter how much we scream.
 
Young CFI said:
Hi, I am a flight instructor at my local flight school. One of the other instructors is a very attractive female instructor my same age, single, and with the same life goals. I’d really like to ask her out, but I know romance at the work place can be a no no. That said, I don’t feel a flight school environment is your typical workplace either. Is there ever an appropriate time to seek this out or is it a hard no and I move on?
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Personally, I’m not convinced that a female CFI with similar goals will be someone you’d stay married to for more than 5 years. Of course it doesn't hurt anything to find out if she wants a boy toy, or if she's the type that wants a husband and a dog, or a husband and kids, but most of the gals in aviation are very, very career driven, very competitive, not that feminine on the broader spectrum, and not the type of girls that are going to be a more traditional wife, which, let's be honest, is what most guys dream about over the centuries. Times have changed, and realism in what you're chasing is important.
Be sure you know what you're looking for before you go chasing someone just because they're very attractive.
 
GoFly said:
Never play where you get your pay
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Piperonca said:
Confucius say you don't get your meat the same place you get your bread.
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So many ways to say it, including some that will get asterisks. But that really means to be cautious and avoid being “that” guy or gal.

Assuming no one is in a supervisory role, the problem isn’t the connection. The problem is if the connection ends with bad feelings.
 
RyanShort1 said:
the gals in aviation are very, very career driven, very competitive, not that feminine on the broader spectrum
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Wow! I have always found career-driven women incredibly attractive. I guess we have quite different definitions of “feminine.”
 
aterry1067 said:
Only people of very low self esteem make these statements. A low income guy with confidence beats a high income silver spoon recipient any day of the week and twice on Sunday.

Amhik
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Read the studies. It's how the new generation is.
 
When I was in flight school, all, change that to ALL of the female girls, students to instructors, were only attracted to the airline pilots.
 
Just do it. Forget about stats and society and all the other nonsense and just talk to her. Ask her out, give it a shot. It’s that simple, it just doesn’t feel that way.

Oh and if she says no be gracious and move on, sometimes they regret it and end up coming back to you.
 
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