Corrupt my wish

saracelica said:
Granted, you have a hi speed modem and then you start looking at porn and stuff and your mom finds you all exposed and has a heart attack. You killed your mom way to go!

I wish my co workers wouldn't call their spouses when they get to work to "check in" It's a beautiful day out and a safe neighborhood!
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Granted. They aren't anyway, they are calling their boyfriends and girlfriends, you just THOUGHT they were talking to their spouses.

I wish it were a beautiful day and I worked in a safe neighborhood.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Granted. They aren't anyway, they are calling their boyfriends and girlfriends, you just THOUGHT they were talking to their spouses.

I wish it were a beautiful day and I worked in a safe neighborhood.
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Granted, but then you wouldn't have any hos to give your buns to.

I wish it wasn't forecasted to rain on Sunday when I have the plane.
 
Granted, It is a beautiful day and your work neighborhood is safe, but you decide to head to the pocket area for lunch (because it is near Sac Exec and you thought you would squeeze in a flight) and you are carjacked, pistol whipped and thrown to the curb.

I wish didn't have to drive today in the rain.
 
kimberlyanne546 said:
Granted, but then you wouldn't have any hos to give your buns to.

I wish it wasn't forecasted to rain on Sunday when I have the plane.
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Granted, instead they are forcasting hail and thunderheads. You decide to fly anyways and to just stay under the cloud layer. Hail damage completely destroys the value of the plane and you are kicked out of the FBO, but it was a fun ride.

I wish I could get someone else to do my work today.
 
John221us said:
Granted, instead they are forcasting hail and thunderheads. You decide to fly anyways and to just stay under the cloud layer. Hail damage completely destroys the value of the plane and you are kicked out of the FBO, but it was a fun ride.

I wish I could get someone else to do my work today.
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Granted. I just did it. And you did mine. And we both F'd each other's work projects up horribly and get tossed out the door.

I wish it were lunchtime already.
 
Granted, it's past lunch and you ate some of the cake for desert from yesterday. Your in a food coma and your boss found you asleep under your desk and you got fired. Way to go.

Wish there was a movie I wanted to see this weekend.
 
saracelica said:
Granted, it's past lunch and you ate some of the cake for desert from yesterday. Your in a food coma and your boss found you asleep under your desk and you got fired. Way to go.

Wish there was a movie I wanted to see this weekend.
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Granted, but you get spotted by your boss as you sneak into the adult theater. S/he decides that you are not of the right moral fiber to work at the company and you lose your job.

I wish I didn't get any junk mail in my mailbox.
 
John221us said:
Granted, but you get spotted by your boss as you sneak into the adult theater. S/he decides that you are not of the right moral fiber to work at the company and you lose your job.

I wish I didn't get any junk mail in my mailbox.
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Granted, it invades the rest of your PC like a virus. And your boss questions your technical expertise as a result and reassigns you to janitorial duties.

I wish it were still lunch time. I had a yummy salad with some kind of seared salmon on it. Mmmm.
 
Granted, but you got a piece of Salmon that wasn't quite right and you threw up and ended up in the hospital with you guessed it Bubba next to you.

I wish hospitals didn't charge as much as they do! ($600 for a 15 minute ultrasound Gack!)
 
saracelica said:
Granted, but you got a piece of Salmon that wasn't quite right and you threw up and ended up in the hospital with you guessed it Bubba next to you.

I wish hospitals didn't charge as much as they do! ($600 for a 15 minute ultrasound Gack!)
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Granted, they only charge $6 now. But unfortunately now you discover you're about to give birth to a succubus, and it's pointy tail and horns cause fatal lacerations on the way out.

I wish food and alcohol wasn't so expensive here.
 
Granted, Congress enacted a law to have bars and restaurants water down the drinks 95% and have just enough alcohol in it to change the color and the food is imported from the East River of NYC. Good Health to you!

I wish my grandpa was still around to guide me in my life.
 
Granted, he is, but he's looking kind of gnarly these days plus he's pretty ****ed off at you for pulling him out of his grave.

I wish I knew what I was going to get people for Christmas.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Granted, he is, but he's looking kind of gnarly these days plus he's pretty ****ed off at you for pulling him out of his grave.

I wish I knew what I was going to get people for Christmas.
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Granted, but it is a huge list of very expensive items and now you can't afford to fly until June.


I wish my dog could talk.
 
John221us said:
Granted, but it is a huge list of very expensive items and now you can't afford to fly until June.


I wish my dog could talk.
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Granted. But he is actually a muslim extremist with thoughts of Jihad, and once he starts babbling about it you get dragged in to the whole thing too. DHS jails you, and the FAA pulls your pilot cert.

I wish I could see the hot redhead at the gym naked.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Granted. But he is actually a muslim extremist with thoughts of Jihad, and once he starts babbling about it you get dragged in to the whole thing too. DHS jails you, and the FAA pulls your pilot cert.

I wish I could see the hot redhead at the gym naked.
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Granted, but you get thrown in the cell with Bubba for peaping and have to register as a sex offender. Meanwhile, Bubba teaches you more about sex offending than you wanted to know.

I wish the hot red head at your gym attended my gym, instead.
 
John221us said:
Granted, but you get thrown in the cell with Bubba for peaping and have to register as a sex offender. Meanwhile, Bubba teaches you more about sex offending than you wanted to know.

I wish the hot red head at your gym attended my gym, instead.
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Granted, she did. And she thought you were a pretty cool dude until she heard about your new enterpreneurial venture for the "Ciao Beaver" bikini swimwear line and was terribly offended so she came back to my gym.

I wish Ipads were cheaper.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Granted, she did. And she thought you were a pretty cool dude until she heard about your new enterpreneurial venture for the "Ciao Beaver" bikini swimwear line and was terribly offended so she came back to my gym.

I wish Ipads were cheaper.
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Apple cuts Ipad prices by 50%. The quality also drops such that failure rate approaches 100% within six months making them useless as an EFB.

I wish my new well makes 1,000 barrels of pipeline quality oil per day.
 
Clark1961 said:
Apple cuts Ipad prices by 50%. The quality also drops such that failure rate approaches 100% within six months making them useless as an EFB.

I wish my new well makes 1,000 barrels of pipeline quality oil per day.
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Granted, it does. But your neighbors aren't feeling it, therefore they take some of your natural gas and ignite it to heat a huge boiling cauldron that they throw you in. Your flesh separates from your bones much like the turkey did last week when you fried it in oil. It's okay though, the SleeStacks got their own thanksgiving at your expense.

I wish I could flip a switch and instantly be sober for the drive home. Then flip it back and party time again.
 
Fine, you get your sober switch. Unfortunately not only are sober but you're also an OCD control freak. On the drive home another driver cuts you off and you flip into road rage. Long sad story cut short, you wind up in jail for vehicular manslaughter.


I wish the 'kota wasn't broken today.
 
Everskyward said:
Granted, but you hit the mesa trying that circle into KRKS.

I wish my sim sessions didn't start at 0500...
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Granted. They start at noon. But they are T38 sim sessions, which does zero good for your currency to the point where your company sticks you with the cost.

I wish I wouldn't have eaten breakfast. I'll now have to skip lunch.
 
Sac Arrow said:
I wish I wouldn't have eaten breakfast. I'll now have to skip lunch.
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Granted, now you can have lunch. Unfortunately you choose the fish for lunch and end up in the emergency room getting the tainted fish pumped out of your stomach.

I wish I was caught-up with work after being out of the office for a week.
 
Granted but you are so efficient they fired 2 of your co workers and put their workload on your desk - permanently.

I wish sweat didn't stink.

(Can't believe how many times Sac has had to have his stomach pumped or ended up in jail in 182 postings! hee hee)
 
saracelica said:
Granted but you are so efficient they fired 2 of your co workers and put their workload on your desk - permanently.

I wish sweat didn't stink.

(Can't believe how many times Sac has had to have his stomach pumped or ended up in jail in 182 postings! hee hee)
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Granted, your sweat tastes like vanilla frosting. Except now you get jumped by a large girl in yoga pants who proceeds to lick your body down. Unfortunately, this is caught on tape and it's featured in a TV ad for the new "Ciao Beaver" line of athletic wear for people of alternative lifestyles.

I wish I had another four day weekend. Getting locked up in the pen so much and having my stomach pumped is tiring.
 
Granted, another 4 day weekend. Your boss as pity on you with all the prison/hospital visits and you get to have the whole week off. Enjoy!

I wish bathrooms could clean themselves, just like ovens. :)
 
Granted, but the automatic cleaning system goes off while you are enjoying your morning constitutional and it not only destroys your magazine, but bleaches your hair yellowish green.

I wish I had another cup of coffee.
 
Granted, but it's an expresso with a 5 hour energy shot in it. Better hurry and use that energy. The wall is hard when you crash!

I wish clothes just cleaned themselves. You see a theme here?
 
saracelica said:
Granted, but it's an expresso with a 5 hour energy shot in it. Better hurry and use that energy. The wall is hard when you crash!

I wish clothes just cleaned themselves. You see a theme here?
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Granted. And yours decided to strip themselves off your body and jump in to the fountain at the mall. We pass each other as I walk out of the klink and you are hauled in. (Looks like that gym routine is starting to work!!)

I wish Christmas presents would buy themselves, wrap themselves and ship themselves.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Granted. And yours decided to strip themselves off your body and jump in to the fountain at the mall. We pass each other as I walk out of the klink and you are hauled in. (Looks like that gym routine is starting to work!!)

I wish Christmas presents would buy themselves, wrap themselves and ship themselves.
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Granted, but they show no concern for your bank account and now you can't afford to fly for the next year, but all your relatives love you.

I wish I could go back to sleep, but that espresso with the energy shot has got wide awake.
 
John221us said:
Granted, but they show no concern for your bank account and now you can't afford to fly for the next year, but all your relatives love you.

I wish I could go back to sleep, but that espresso with the energy shot has got wide awake.
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Granted. But it took several doses of methamphetamine laced barbiturates to get there, and when you wake up, you drive to downtown Sacramento and decide to kidnap Pete Wilson and sell him on EBay as a sex slave. When Capitol security kicks you out of his residence above Mikuni's, you decide instead to go in to a sushi eating fest and you accumulate a $10,000 sushi bill. When you try to leave without paying, Taro Mikuni himself takes you out with a samurai sword.

I wish I could fast forward to March. I hate Winter.
 
Granted, it is march, but you haven't made a mortgage or car payment in 4 months. When you walk outside to get your newspaper, you see the tow truck hauling your car away. As you chase after it, you lose your robe and are arrested for indecent exposure. You, once again, find yourself sharing a cell with Bubba.

I wish I didn't have to go grocery shopping today.
 
Granted, but now some of your PoA friends are mad because in another month she'll be out of a job and she's not ready for that to happen.

I wish I knew what my next job would be
 
saracelica said:
Granted, but now some of your PoA friends are mad because in another month she'll be out of a job and she's not ready for that to happen.

I wish I knew what my next job would be
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Granted. Go enroll in a Hindi language course and save for a very long one way ticket.

I wish it would to decide to either rain or not. I can't decide whether to mope around in the house or go ride my bike.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Granted. Go enroll in a Hindi language course and save for a very long one way ticket.

I wish it would to decide to either rain or not. I can't decide whether to mope around in the house or go ride my bike.
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Granted, it decides to rain (hey, it is raining in Rocklin, you should share the fun). You decide to hop on the treadmill at the gym, instead. As you start to make your move on the hot redhead, her BF shows up and demonstrates his tricep strength on you.

I wish I could motivate myself to head to the gym.
 
John221us said:
Granted, it decides to rain (hey, it is raining in Rocklin, you should share the fun). You decide to hop on the treadmill at the gym, instead. As you start to make your move on the hot redhead, her BF shows up and demonstrates his tricep strength on you.

I wish I could motivate myself to head to the gym.
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Granted, you're at the gym. You being your RC plane and start debating the use of treadmills on aircraft takeoffs, a brawl erupts, and you are ejected with instructions not to return.

I wish I knew what the tax rules would be next year. End of year planning is killing me.
 
PilotAlan said:
Granted, you're at the gym. You being your RC plane and start debating the use of treadmills on aircraft takeoffs, a brawl erupts, and you are ejected with instructions not to return.

I wish I knew what the tax rules would be next year. End of year planning is killing me.
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Granted. But you are arrested and jailed for insider knowledge and instead Bubba kills you by rupturing your lower colon.

I wish I could just bend that redhead over the treadmill and straight go to work.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Granted. But you are arrested and jailed for insider knowledge and instead Bubba kills you by rupturing your lower colon.

I wish I could just bend that redhead over the treadmill and straight go to work.
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Granted, management at the gym calls the cops, though and, once again, Bubba is giving you a lesson in sexual assault.

I wish I could get free airfare to Maui
 
John221us said:
Granted, management at the gym calls the cops, though and, once again, Bubba is giving you a lesson in sexual assault.

I wish I could get free airfare to Maui
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Granted, the reason the airfare was so cheap was because they only filled the tanks to the calculated minimums. Too bad there was that unexpected 60 knot headwind.

I wish I bothered to get more fish at the store while I was out.

(PS. Bubba is getting worn out from all that action lately)
 
Granted, too easy. The new employee at the meat counter had left some ahi out overnight and then in the morning had quickly covered his tracks. You spent the rest of he day getting your stomach pumped.

I wish the hot red head would quit talking about the weird dude in the loud Italian bicycling jersey and spandex shorts at her gym.
 
John221us said:
I wish the hot red head would quit talking about the weird dude in the loud Italian bicycling jersey and spandex shorts at her gym.
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The hot redhead is now talking about her new girlfriend and how she'll never look at anyone else.

I wish Sac would stay out of jail and the emergency room.
 
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