Corrupt my wish

Sac Arrow said:
Granted. But Dr. Dre takes you out in a studio drive by and you're stuck having lunch with Tupac, Biggie Small and Jam Master Jay for the next two thousand years.

I wish Kimberly would learn to play the thread corruption game.
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I totally corrupted that other thread already, what more do you want?
 
Granted, but she devolopes an overwhelming desire to follow all rules all the time and ends up driving you insane. You are subsequently commited to an asylum and spend your days knitting booties for the future grand daughter you hope will come visit you someday.

I wish it was 5:00.
 
John221us said:
Granted, but she devolopes an overwhelming desire to follow all rules all the time and ends up driving you insane. You are subsequently commited to an asylum and spend your days knitting booties for the future grand daughter you hope will come visit you someday.

I wish it was 5:00.
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Exactly. Rules are for wusses who don't want to iron their own god damned shirts. Rules are meant to be broken.
 
kimberlyanne546 said:
Exactly. Rules are for wusses who don't want to iron their own god damned shirts. Rules are meant to be broken.
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Why you have to hate on my no iron shirts?

John221us said:
Granted, but she devolopes an overwhelming desire to follow all rules all the time and ends up driving you insane. You are subsequently commited to an asylum and spend your days knitting booties for the future grand daughter you hope will come visit you someday.

I wish it was 5:00.
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It is. Roughly 200 miles East of New York.

I wish I bothered to replace that bottle of Jameson I had on my bookshelf. Work is stressing me out.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Why you have to hate on my no iron shirts?



It is. Roughly 200 miles East of New York.

I wish I bothered to replace that bottle of Jameson I had on my bookshelf. Work is stressing me out.
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Granted, your secretary admin intuitively appears with your bottle of Jameson and two glasses. Just then your good friend Charity shows up and gets into a cat fight with her and she cracks Charity over the head with the bottle, breaking it. You are left to lick up the pooled whisky from the floor to satiate your alcholol craving.

I wish there really were such a thing as a "no iron" shirt. They all seem to wrinkle when I pack them in a suitcase.
 
Granted, all shirts don't need ironing but that means you're married because the wife doesn't want to bother with doing something that mundane.

I wish I never had to floss my teeth.
 
saracelica said:
Granted, all shirts don't need ironing but that means you're married because the wife doesn't want to bother with doing something that mundane.

I wish I never had to floss my teeth.
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Granted, you now have no teeth.

I wish it was tradition to serve Whoppers for birthday instead of cake.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Granted, you now have no teeth.

I wish it was tradition to serve Whoppers for birthday instead of cake.
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Granted, but now we are left wondering if it is your birthday.

I wish the aviation poster I ordered for my friend's "mancave" aka hangar would get here already.
 
kimberlyanne546 said:
Granted, but now we are left wondering if it is your birthday.

I wish the aviation poster I ordered for my friend's "mancave" aka hangar would get here already.
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Granted, but they shipped the wrong poster. It is a poster of Miss October and your friend, who is a evangelical minister, is totally shocked with your distaste and gets you barred from the airport. You are forced to stare longingly through the fence as the planes take off and land.


I wish I had a hangar house with a J3 and Lear parked in it.
 
Granted but it was of naked guys and he was repulsed by it (warehouse error of sending the wrong one and they're out of business now)

I wish I could find my next job and have it be on standby until I need it.
 
Granted but when you need it they have already filled your position so you end up downstairs in the basement aka file room. With about 10 years of filing piled up.

I wish the weather wasn't filled with storms this weekend so that I could fly.
 
saracelica said:
Granted but it was of naked guys and he was repulsed by it (warehouse error of sending the wrong one and they're out of business now)

I wish I could find my next job and have it be on standby until I need it.
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You do, but your husband, in a fit of rage, shoots the pimp and you end up spending your life savings on attorney fees to keep him out of jail.

I wish I had a new mountain bike.
 
John221us said:
You do, but your husband, in a fit of rage, shoots the pimp and you end up spending your life savings on attorney fees to keep him out of jail.

I wish I had a new mountain bike.
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Granted but there is an AD for the seat and it comes off while you ride it and now you have a bike stuck up inside your . . .

I wish I had a nicer aviation headset with lots of cool features.
 
kimberlyanne546 said:
Granted but there is an AD for the seat and it comes off while you ride it and now you have a bike stuck up inside your . . .

I wish I had a nicer aviation headset with lots of cool features.
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You have a nicer aviation headset until the big quake and California falls into the ocean. You move to a nice coastal Nevada town and take up knitting.

I wish the Red Desert wasn't quite so dry.
 
Clark1961 said:
You have a nicer aviation headset until the big quake and California falls into the ocean. You move to a nice coastal Nevada town and take up knitting.

I wish the Red Desert wasn't quite so dry.
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Done - the Red Desert goes 'wet', but you get a bad batch of moonshine and go blind.

I wish it didn't get dark so early these days.
 
Matthew said:
Done - the Red Desert goes 'wet', but you get a bad batch of moonshine and go blind.

I wish it didn't get dark so early these days.
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It's light for you tomorrow evening because your house is burning.

I wish I wasn't blind.
 
Granted, but when your eyesight is restored, you see the horror of the Red Desert deluged by rain from global warming climate change. Your family is devastated by flash flooding and the economy is in a meltdown. Eventually you become catatonic from all the Xanax you are popping like M&Ms and can only speak one word... Bieber.

I wish I could predict the future.
 
John221us said:
Granted, but when your eyesight is restored, you see the horror of the Red Desert deluged by rain from global warming climate change. Your family is devastated by flash flooding and the economy is in a meltdown. Eventually you become catatonic from all the Xanax you are popping like M&Ms and can only speak one word... Bieber.

I wish I could predict the future.
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Granted. But, you don't like what you see. Pro Tem President Bieber has taken the vote of all preteen girls in the US and is now NATO Commander in Chief. His policy on the Middle East has been questioned, however what we have observed is that the Mullahs are pleasantly relieved their preteen daughters have an outlet other than Internet porn with goats plus the Taliban is so disconcerted that they adopt the Reverend Jim Jones as their idol and choose to end their lives through Cool Aid flavored coffee spiked with C4.

I wish I could get creative with wish corruptions.
 
Granted, but we'll all quit your thread because your corruptions are too good and we feel dumb. ;)

I wish my wife would stop wrecking cars.
 
Granted, but the LSD you were taking to color your world started to give you flashbacks. Your psychedelic fascination with Jim Jones led you to experimenting with different coolaid "flavors" and eventually you end up on the speaking circuit with with Timothy Leary.

I wish I were a better pool player.

Edit: Oops I took too long.
 
denverpilot said:
Granted, but we'll all quit your thread because your corruptions are too good and we feel dumb. ;)

I wish my wife would stop wrecking cars.
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Granted, they pull her license and she can no longer drive. You are forced to work part time from home, so that you can drive her where she needs to go. The only job can find, where you can work remotely is administrating AD accounts and resetting passwords.

I wish My son could figure out his major.
 
John221us said:
I wish My son could figure out his major.
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Done - he figured that a degree in Medieval French Literature would be his key to success, and he's going to take 8 yrs to get that degree if it kills him - oh, and he needs money.

I wish I didn't like Chinese food so much...
 
Matthew said:
Done - he figured that a degree in Medieval French Literature would be his key to success, and he's going to take 8 yrs to get that degree if it kills him - oh, and he needs money.

I wish I didn't like Chinese food so much...
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Granted, you don't. The County animal control, however, feels the loss and now needs to outsource disposal to the Ethiopians.

I wish I didn't just eat what they told me was Peking Duck. I mean I've had duck before and for sure that wasn't no damn duck.
 
Granted, you didn't. You ate what they told you was General's Chicken, which tasted remarkably like... Wild turkey (road kill).

I wish I could play harmonica.
 
John221us said:
Granted, you didn't. You ate what they told you was General's Chicken, which tasted remarkably like... Wild turkey (road kill).

I wish I could play harmonica.
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Granted, but it acts as a lure to Jets fans who follow you around all day yelling "J E T S, Jets Jets Jets!" creating a very embarrassing situation for you in meetings and at the grocery store. (Especially this year. Ha!)

(Here's a tough one...)

I wish there were more recreational pilots.

;)
 
denverpilot said:
Granted, but it acts as a lure to Jets fans who follow you around all day yelling "J E T S, Jets Jets Jets!" creating a very embarrassing situation for you in meetings and at the grocery store. (Especially this year. Ha!)

(Here's a tough one...)

I wish there were more recreational pilots.

;)
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Fine, now there are more recreational pilots. Now we can't afford hangar space or get on the maintenance schedule. Thanks buddy.

I wish the power company could keep the lights on in WWW.
 
Clark1961 said:
Fine, now there are more recreational pilots. Now we can't afford hangar space or get on the maintenance schedule. Thanks buddy.

I wish the power company could keep the lights on in WWW.
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Granted, they can. In fact, they won't even let you turn them off. Ever. The sleep deprivation you incur causes you to turn to drugs, and eventually you end up homeless. WWW, not tolerant of homeless drug addicts, loads you on a Greyhound bus with a one way ticket to San Francisco, where you take up a new residence in a gutter in the Haight Ashbury.

I wish I would have taken a Motrin before I went to the gym. I had a mild headache before but now I have a massive one.
 
Granted, but since one didn't work you took the whole bottle and Overdosed. Now you are eating charcoal to bring it back up and you won't ever get that taste out of your mouth and good bye Medical!

I wish people around me weren't so stupid. Think for 20 seconds. (Oh wait that was in the pet peeve thread)
 
saracelica said:
Granted, but since one didn't work you took the whole bottle and Overdosed. Now you are eating charcoal to bring it back up and you won't ever get that taste out of your mouth and good bye Medical!

I wish people around me weren't so stupid. Think for 20 seconds. (Oh wait that was in the pet peeve thread)
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Granted. Now, instead of just thinking they are smarter than you, they are all Einsteins and they actually make you look stupid by comparison. Good going.

I wish all the cake from yesterday's monthly birthday celebration was eaten. There happens to be a big ass slice of German chocolate cake sitting in the fridge. Now that the Motrin is starting to kick in, I'm starting to get hungry.
 
Granted, the cake is gone because your co workers ate it this morning. But then since it was sitting out it got some flesh eating bacteria in it and your co workers are calling in sick and you have to do all the work.

I wish my instructor was in town so I could go flying today.
 
saracelica said:
Granted, the cake is gone because your co workers ate it this morning. But then since it was sitting out it got some flesh eating bacteria in it and your co workers are calling in sick and you have to do all the work.

I wish my instructor was in town so I could go flying today.
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Granted. He's back in town and the two of you go flying. But your husband wonders why a current PPL would need to fly with a CFI and gets very suspicious and jealous and he reciprocates by calling up the local escort service for a "counseling" session.

I wish I had x-ray vision.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Granted. He's back in town and the two of you go flying. But your husband wonders why a current PPL would need to fly with a CFI and gets very suspicious and jealous and he reciprocates by calling up the local escort service for a "counseling" session.

I wish I had x-ray vision.
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Granted you do, but the constant bombardment of xrays on your brain has caused an inoperable brain tumor and you have 3 months to live.

I wish I could drink as much caffiene as I wanted with no ill effect.
 
John221us said:
Granted you do, but the constant bombardment of xrays on your brain has caused an inoperable brain tumor and you have 3 months to live.

I wish I could drink as much caffiene as I wanted with no ill effect.
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Granted - you become so addicted to Mountain Dew that you are guzzling down two gallons a day before the carbonic acid in the soda causes you to incur a massive stomach hemorrage. Which, in itself would have been survivable, had you not also suffered a failure of the renal system due to the cumulative effects of the preservatives and coloring agents.

I wish I was a good computer hacker and could hack the lottery.
 
Granted, you are good enough to hack into the lottery and manipulate the results. The cyber hounds have you tracked in a flash, though and quickly get you prosecuted and thrown into a federal prison. You are forbidden from getting near a computer again for the rest of your life.

I wish it were Saturday morning and not Friday.
 
John221us said:
Granted, you are good enough to hack into the lottery and manipulate the results. The cyber hounds have you tracked in a flash, though and quickly get you prosecuted and thrown into a federal prison. You are forbidden from getting near a computer again for the rest of your life.

I wish it were Saturday morning and not Friday.
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Granted, now you can forget getting paid today.

I wish the whole world had only one religion
 
Jaybird180 said:
Granted, now you can forget getting paid today.

I wish the whole world had only one religion
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Granted, there is one religion. Taliban extremists have succeeded in taking over and have imposed thier beliefs and legal system on everyone. Women are no longer allowed an education and civil rights are a thing of the past. Stoning is now considered a just punishment for many minor crimes.

I wish I had a faster Internet connection at home (it is only 3 MB).
 
Granted, you have a hi speed modem and then you start looking at porn and stuff and your mom finds you all exposed and has a heart attack. You killed your mom way to go!

I wish my co workers wouldn't call their spouses when they get to work to "check in" It's a beautiful day out and a safe neighborhood!
 
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