Corrupt my wish

Oh **** dude, she totally blew me off!

But that Indian chick, I swear to god that has been a fantasy of mine. Mmmm Holy crap... She just does these moves, she just does this.....

I'm sorry but, I know her father wants to kill me but so what life is short. Umm, what were we talking about?

Oh yeah yeah the red head 's husband researched you on the Internet and initially he was going to kill you but chose to torture you instead.

I wish things were simpler.
 
Granted, you now work at Foxconn making iPads. They tell you when to work, when to eat, when to sleep, and provide you about 10 sq feet of living space.

(Hey at least it's not Bubba. But it's smaller than a U.S. jail cell, and no Cable TV.)

I wish Clarence would hurry up and get his wings so this movie would be over. :)
 
denverpilot said:
Granted, you now work at Foxconn making iPads. They tell you when to work, when to eat, when to sleep, and provide you about 10 sq feet of living space.

(Hey at least it's not Bubba. But it's smaller than a U.S. jail cell, and no Cable TV.)

I wish Clarence would hurry up and get his wings so this movie would be over. :)
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Ok Clarence got his wings and the movie is over. Now the problem is that there is this enormous fat lady singing and she won't shut up. It's kept you awake all night long.


I wish I bothered to get more salad greens to go with that fish yesterday.
 
Granted, but as you were checking out with your greens, a familiar looking Indian woman mistook you for a vegetarian and started up a conversation about the merits of such a diet. Then she saw the beef and fish in your basket and realized you support the slaughter of fellow living creatures and gave you a look of horror as she scurried away.

I wish I had another HDMI port on my TV. I seem to be one short.
 
John221us said:
Granted, but as you were checking out with your greens, a familiar looking Indian woman mistook you for a vegetarian and started up a conversation about the merits of such a diet. Then she saw the beef and fish in your basket and realized you support the slaughter of fellow living creatures and gave you a look of horror as she scurried away.

I wish I had another HDMI port on my TV. I seem to be one short.
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Granted, you have a dozen HDMI ports on your TV. But now you are a rapper, Too $hort, who to my knowledge doesn't fly airplanes or have a pilot's license. When the FAA finds out you've been flying without a license, or medical (nevermind that you are ineligeable for a third class medical anway due to drug and criminal history) they lock you in the pen with Bubba. Who, incidentally, is a new man now that his Viagra supply was smuggled in two days ago.

I wish it wasn't end of the month time for bills and all that. I'm swamped this morning. (In a literal sense in addition to the figurative sense, by the way.)
 
Good thing Bubba has respect for my rapping skills, but he says he misses the Arrow dude. Granted, you slept through the end of the month forgot to pay your bills. Charity, who has you on the monthly plan, sent her pimp to rough you up and collect.

I wish I had a new pair of fat skis to enjoy all the fresh powder that just hit (it looks like snow levels dropped today).
 
John221us said:
Good thing Bubba has respect for my rapping skills, but he says he misses the Arrow dude. Granted, you slept through the end of the month forgot to pay your bills. Charity, who has you on the monthly plan, sent her pimp to rough you up and collect.

I wish I had a new pair of fat skis to enjoy all the fresh powder that just hit (it looks like snow levels dropped today).
Click to expand...

Granted, you do. But they are such fat skis that they are actually water skis, which you could more beneficially use because you are underwater after this morning's deluge. (And you probably are, I almost am).

I wish I could save all this flood water for the Summer and say FU to the water company.
 
Granted, you somehow get the water rights to Folsom Lake, but are instantly slapped with a lawsuit from a bunch of farmers in Turlock.

I wish I didn't have to head to South Sac tomorrow.
 
John221us said:
Granted, you somehow get the water rights to Folsom Lake, but are instantly slapped with a lawsuit from a bunch of farmers in Turlock.

I wish I didn't have to head to South Sac tomorrow.
Click to expand...

Granted, you don't. But instead you have to go to Oakland, in the same bad neighborhoods. My hood! Hahaha. We have lunch together and barely survive a drive by in front of Barry's Soul Food and Sushi Cafe.

I wish the weather was nice enough to ride the motorcycle tomorrow.


(Why you going to South Sac, Tesco?)
 
It is actually a site survey at a methadone clinic (don't ask). Granted, I actually think we get a one day break in the weather tomorrow (for real), but not for you. Your company throws you on a plane to Seattle. Enjoy.

I wish Dinner would cook itself.
 
John221us said:
It is actually a site survey at a methadone clinic (don't ask). Granted, I actually think we get a one day break in the weather tomorrow (for real), but not for you. Your company throws you on a plane to Seattle. Enjoy.

I wish Dinner would cook itself.
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Granted, it did. Hopefully you homeowners insurance will take care of the rest.


I wish my company didn't send me to Seattle. There is nothing for me. Stuck up caffeinated bee otches that wouldn't give me the time of day much less let me run my hand up the crack of their.....
 
Granted, they don't send you to Seattle. They send you to Detroit, MI where you get mugged and beaten. You can't afford to go back home and the company that sent you there went bankrupt in the meantime. You're now stuck in the MidWest. Hope you're ready for the winter. :)

I wish there were more job opportunities in my area.
 
saracelica said:
Granted, they don't send you to Seattle. They send you to Detroit, MI where you get mugged and beaten. You can't afford to go back home and the company that sent you there went bankrupt in the meantime. You're now stuck in the MidWest. Hope you're ready for the winter. :)

I wish there were more job opportunities in my area.
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Granted, there are, just none for you because you don't speak fluent Cantonese.

I wish my expense report would fill itself out.
 
Granted, it does (at least your name and personnel information), but since the expense report program lacked any input from you, it ended up with no actual expenses on the form.

I wish the coffee would work faster.
 
Granted, coffee works faster but it had some laxatives in it - nasty co workers!

I wish I had something delicious for lunch. But I'm stuck with a Turkey sandwich.
 
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saracelica said:
Granted, coffee works faster but it had some laxatives in it - nasty co workers!

I wish I had something delicious for lunch. But I'm stuck with a Turkey sandwich.
Click to expand...

Granted, you have a platter of raw sashimi fish and raw quail egg topped with salmon roe. You didn't say who's definition of delicious.

I wish I had the above sashimi platter right now. I'd trade sara my own turkey sandwich but I don't have one.
 
Granted, you have the sashimi platter, but it was prepared by a poorly trained "chef" who just finished a stint as Bubba's roommate. Guess what? You have to make a trip to Mercy to have your stomach pumped.

I wish it was still the weekend.
 
John221us said:
Granted, you have the sashimi platter, but it was prepared by a poorly trained "chef" who just finished a stint as Bubba's roommate. Guess what? You have to make a trip to Mercy to have your stomach pumped.

I wish it was still the weekend.
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Granted. And it's still raining, you are now under water.

I wish whoever is taking their time in the can would hurry up and finish.
 
Granted, they finish but it's like a stink bomb was in there and the hazmat team has been dispatched. So you get to go home.

I wish it'd start snowing here in NWOhio.
 
saracelica said:
Granted, they finish but it's like a stink bomb was in there and the hazmat team has been dispatched. So you get to go home.

I wish it'd start snowing here in NWOhio.
Click to expand...


Granted, but it never stops. In Stardate 5830, Federation researchers uncover a slew of dinosours, a small fleet of ancient club airplanes and your house in what was once known as NWOhio according to archealogical records. You are perfectly preserved on the treadmill.

I wish McDonald's would make Double Quarter Pounders with Cheese for breakfast.
 
Granted, they do but you overindulge and have to call Doc Bruce for your next medical.

(Heh, you left that one WIDE open.)

I wish I could think of better wishes.
 
Granted, you can think of great wishes! Unfortunately they all get corrupted. For example you wished all a Merry Christmas to All and you managed to offend nearly every Muslim, Jew, Sikh and Buddist in the entire world. Even the Hindis got a bit bent out of shape.

I wish I didn't have to drive down to San Jose tomorrow.
 
Granted, you don't have to. You get airlifted because as soon as you left the driveway you got t-boned by another car. San Jose was the only place that would take your sorry butt.

I wish I could have rock hard abs with no work involved!
 
saracelica said:
Granted, you don't have to. You get airlifted because as soon as you left the driveway you got t-boned by another car. San Jose was the only place that would take your sorry butt.

I wish I could have rock hard abs with no work involved!
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Granted, but the drug that stimulates your ab muscles to contract, has an aftereffect. You find that your right arm randomly strikes out at people and objects. After you accidently cold cock your husband in a public mall, you are arested for assault and thrown in the cell with Bubbette.

I wish I the clouds weren't moving back in. The blue skies were nice.
 
John221us said:
Granted, but the drug that stimulates your ab muscles to contract, has an aftereffect. You find that your right arm randomly strikes out at people and objects. After you accidently cold cock your husband in a public mall, you are arested for assault and thrown in the cell with Bubbette.

I wish I the clouds weren't moving back in. The blue skies were nice.
Click to expand...

Granted, they aren't. Convective activity from a local historic volcano drives them away. How do you think Rocklin got it's name? Rock-lin... hello.... Igneous... vocanoes... the entire town is engulfed in a boiling caulderon of lava. One shouldn't move to Rocklin without volcano insurance, just like one shouldn't move to Floodville without flood insurance or Hurricaneville without hurricane insurance.

I wish I could have another helping of that tri-tip steak salad. It was hella yummy.
 
Granted you have another helping of the tri tip. However it was over cooked. It was like a hockey puck. You broke your tooth on it and went to the emergency dentist in East LA and well nothing good happened when you got there. :)

I wish I could have all of Chuck Yeagers' aviation knowledge but none of the years.
 
saracelica said:
Granted you have another helping of the tri tip. However it was over cooked. It was like a hockey puck. You broke your tooth on it and went to the emergency dentist in East LA and well nothing good happened when you got there. :)

I wish I could have all of Chuck Yeagers' aviation knowledge but none of the years.
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Granted. You don't have his years, and you have his aviation knowledge. And his looks, down to the very anatomy. Your husband, although impressed by your flying skills, is less than thrilled about the situation.


I wish I could be the Justin Bieber of the twenty-ish to thirty-ish female crowd.
 
Granted, you are the Justin Bieber of the female crowd. You throw cell phones off the stage after you request one from a screaming fan. When you go to kick one the phone hits the girl straight in the mouth. She says she won't sue you if she can sleep with you. Being the horney teen/young adult you do. You know have every STD known to man. Enjoy your life.

I wish neighbors wouldn't have the holiday spirit with the Christmas lights they're really ugly!
 
Granted, they take down the Christmas lights and instead hold satanic rituals. They sent out a neighborhood flyer just this morning asking for volunteers for human sacrifices. Hopefully one of your other neighbors will step up to the plate before get volunteered.

I wish I could predict the stock market. I don't need to know the whole future, I could do just fine with that one futuristic view.

(I thought all the STD's were from Bubba. In addition to stomach ulcers, it's been hard to sit lately)
 
You can predict the stock market. You win millions with just knowing that one is going up. But the hospitals find out you have money and come after you for all those charges they charged off to help cure those pesky STD's. You are in the same position as before, sucks to be you.

I wish my neighbors would let me live my own life.
 
saracelica said:
You can predict the stock market. You win millions with just knowing that one is going up. But the hospitals find out you have money and come after you for all those charges they charged off to help cure those pesky STD's. You are in the same position as before, sucks to be you.

I wish my neighbors would let me live my own life.
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Granted, they do. For about one week, then they sacrifice you in a Santoria ritual. You should consider moving to a safer place like Uganda or Borneo.

I wish life had a speed up/slow down feature like they do on those DVR-things. Rewind would be kind of nice too.
 
Granted, but rewind accidentally gets stuck and you rewind your self to infancy and are incable of comprehending how to control it.

I wish I could fly this afternoon.
 
John221us said:
Granted, but rewind accidentally gets stuck and you rewind your self to infancy and are incable of comprehending how to control it.

I wish I could fly this afternoon.
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Granted, I wish I could fly this afternoon too, but we both have to work.

I wish it was tomorrow night already since I get to meet pilots at a pub and start my volunteer organizer job for that meetup group / fly-out group.
 
kimberlyanne546 said:
Granted, I wish I could fly this afternoon too, but we both have to work.

I wish it was tomorrow night already since I get to meet pilots at a pub and start my volunteer organizer job for that meetup group / fly-out group.
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Granted, but you find out they all SIM pilots and don't fly real planes. On the bright side, you can have a beer while you are flying.

I wish someone would give me a working Garmin 430 for free.
 
John221us said:
I wish someone would give me a working Garmin 430 for free.
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Fine, you're given a working 430W for free. All ya gotta do is pick it up from Bubba. Good luck and would you like the number of a good proctologist?

I wish the new voltage regulator was already installed in the 'kota.
 
Clark1961 said:
Fine, you're given a working 430W for free. All ya gotta do is pick it up from Bubba. Good luck and would you like the number of a good proctologist?

I wish the new voltage regulator was already installed in the 'kota.
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Like I said earlier, Bubba respects my work. He is saving himself for Arrow. Granted, they pulled a rampy to install your voltage regulator. Unfortunately, this guy failed third grade and then dropped out.

I wish my son hadn't messed up the netbook. Just trying to go to google brings up spam. Reloading Windows now.
 
John221us said:
Like I said earlier, Bubba respects my work. He is saving himself for Arrow. Granted, they pulled a rampy to install your voltage regulator. Unfortunately, this guy failed third grade and then dropped out.

I wish my son hadn't messed up the netbook. Just trying to go to google brings up spam. Reloading Windows now.
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Umm Bubba doesn't care who you think you are, he just wants his. Sorry it hurts so bad and needs stitches....

As for the netbook, yup it's fixed for five minutes but then again it's gone because you can't control your son. Sorry.
 
I wish Frankenota left a wish so we could corrupt it for him and that DenverPilot couldn't go off on a tangent.
 
saracelica said:
I wish Frankenota left a wish so we could corrupt it for him and that DenverPilot couldn't go off on a tangent.
Click to expand...

Granted, but then you'd be so bored you'd try something that starts with "Hey y'all watch this!" And we'd laugh at your funeral and at the resulting Darwin Award.

I wish I had an excuse to skip work and fly somewhere today just to break the monotony of it all.
 
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