Corrupt my wish

kimberlyanne546 said:
Granted, but then the only way to burn calories is with Bubba.

I wish all the vendors I work with weren't in different time zones, since I can't get anything done after 2pm which is right when my coffee is kicking in.
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Granted, they are all in one time zone. Beijing. Means you have to go back to work at 11:00 p.m. to talk to them.

I wish I could eat a big, combination pizza.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Granted, they are all in one time zone. Beijing. Means you have to go back to work at 11:00 p.m. to talk to them.

I wish I could eat a big, combination pizza.
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You can, just not the crust, the bread, and most of the cheese.

I wish I could eat Piroski with cheddar and beef all the time.
 
kimberlyanne546 said:
You can, just not the crust, the bread, and most of the cheese.

I wish I could eat Piroski with cheddar and beef all the time.
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Granted, but Piroski gets worn out after a couple hours of that stuff plus he doesn't like cheddar and beef all over him.

I wish they could invent holographic food that tastes like the real thing and fills you up.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Granted, but Piroski gets worn out after a couple hours of that stuff plus he doesn't like cheddar and beef all over him.

I wish they could invent holographic food that tastes like the real thing and fills you up.
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Granted, but it would come with holographic arteries that couldn't be unclogged.

I wish I was 2 inches taller.
 
LandSickness said:
Granted, but it would come with holographic arteries that couldn't be unclogged.

I wish I was 2 inches taller.
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Granted. But its all forehead.

I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat and a 64 Impala.
 
SkyHog said:
Granted. But its all forehead.

I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat and a 64 Impala.
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Granted but the rabbit, like you is on LSD and he beat the hell out of you with the bat and hops off in the 64 Impala. Which, coincindentally, has 20 inch blades, and belonged to Jamaal the pimp and he has his own issues with you and finishes you off.

I wish it were drinking time right now.
 
Granted, but of course it is always 12:00 somewhere, but not here and you are busted for drinking on the job and sent to rehab.

I wish I had a new iPad Mini
 
John221us said:
Granted, but of course it is always 12:00 somewhere, but not here and you are busted for drinking on the job and sent to rehab.

I wish I had a new iPad Mini
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Granted, you do. But now you are a woman, and that iPad mini with wings only works for two of those days but the rest of the time you need to strap on the iPad maxi.

I wish I hadn't eaten a half raw chicken for dinner. (No lie, I really did)
 
Granted, it was an entirely raw slab of porterhouse, prepared in a south of the border slaughter house and shipped up in the restaurant owners, brothers pickup truck in an ice chest, but no ice. You find yourself hooked to an IV with bodily fluids emanating from every orifice.

I wish I had ordered the stroganoff instead of the pad Thai for dinner.
 
Granted, but the Stroganoff was the dehydrated brand that was on the shelf for years and you would've regretted that as well.

I wish sleep wasn't necessary - what a waste of time!
 
Granted, due to a peculiarity in your cable TV setup, sleep is no longer necessary. Now you have so much spare time on your hands that you delve in to alcholism, drugs, gambling and high price gigolos to bide the time, causing you to incur deep dept and now you cannot afford to fly. Which wouldn't matter anyway because your AME had diagnosed an abnormal sleep pattern rendering you ineligable for a third class medical.

After months of this condition, you are sufficiently removed from reality that you try to rob the main Ohio U.S. Bank branch in Columbus using an '90's vintage Stinger missle left over from the Gulf War, which accidentally discharges on the rooftop and shoots down the getaway helicopter you negotiated with the cops.

Get rid of cable.


I wish I could have anything I visualized.
 
Granted, unfortunately, you had just finished watching a Justin Bieber special and just couldn't get him out of your head.

I wish I had a new panel for my plane.
 
Granted, you have a new panel. Unfortunately you neglected the 337 form for it, and the feds bind and gag you, and waterboard you endlessly until you fess up. When they find your tolerance to waterboarding and choke therapy is unacceptably high, they force you to watch Justin Bieber videos for 36 hours straight.

I wish I was at the Peppermill in Reno chowing down on one of their one pound cheeseburgers. Mmmmmm.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Granted, you have a new panel. Unfortunately you neglected the 337 form for it, and the feds bind and gag you, and waterboard you endlessly until you fess up. When they find your tolerance to waterboarding and choke therapy is unacceptably high, they force you to watch Justin Bieber videos for 36 hours straight.

I wish I was at the Peppermill in Reno chowing down on one of their one pound cheeseburgers. Mmmmmm.
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Granted, and then you awoke and found that you really were the Hamburglar

I wish that I had the secret to immortality
 
Granted, but then all those people you always hated are always around you forever because I gave them the secret as well. :)

I wish I knew what to get my husband for the holidays. (no seriously I wish I knew what I could get him)
 
Granted, but the pit boss had caught you slipping a card into your poker hand and had followed you to the restaurant. He and three guidos took you into the back room and broke all the fingers on your right hand, so you would remember your mistake. Justin Bieber happened to be headlining that night and you had front row seats, but you missed the show, due to your ensuing hospital stay.

I wish today's storm was a bit colder and dumping snow down to 3,000 in Tahoe.
 
John221us said:
Granted, but the pit boss had caught you slipping a card into your poker hand and had followed you to the restaurant. He and three guidos took you into the back room and broke all the fingers on your right hand, so you would remember your mistake. Justin Bieber happened to be headlining that night and you had front row seats, but you missed the show, due to your ensuing hospital stay.

I wish today's storm was a bit colder and dumping snow down to 3,000 in Tahoe.
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Granted. But you chose to fly to KTVL.


I wish I could get rid of this stupid Hamburgler uniform.
 
Sac Arrow said:
I wish I could get rid of this stupid Hamburgler uniform.
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Granted - but you chose to remove it in front of a grade school, and are now the favorite in your cellblock.

I wish I could afford a month long vacation on a nice warm beach someplace, with a drink that had an umbrella in it.
 
Matthew said:
Granted - but you chose to remove it in front of a grade school, and are now the favorite in your cellblock.

I wish I could afford a month long vacation on a nice warm beach someplace, with a drink that had an umbrella in it.
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Granted, you can. And your drink has an umbrella in it - a real umbrella. You're in Haiti, surrounded by massive piles of washed up destruction and rotting garbage. The stench on the beach is slightly less offensive than your unairconditioned $5 a night room with bedbugs and no running water.

I wish I could be dictator of our country and solve our fiscal problems.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Granted, you can. And your drink has an umbrella in it - a real umbrella. You're in Haiti, surrounded by massive piles of washed up destruction and rotting garbage. The stench on the beach is slightly less offensive than your unairconditioned $5 a night room with bedbugs and no running water.

I wish I could be dictator of our country and solve our fiscal problems.
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Granted, but after you impose marshall law, after a protest at Berkeley, militia groups in Idaho organize a revolution and overthrow your regime and send you to their new equivelant to Gauntanamo, located in a remote area of Afganistan.

I wish I had a large chocolate cream pie right now.
 
John221us said:
Granted, but after you impose marshall law, after a protest at Berkeley, militia groups in Idaho organize a revolution and overthrow your regime and send you to their new equivelant to Gauntanamo, located in a remote area of Afganistan.

I wish I had a large chocolate cream pie right now.
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Granted. Gallager is about to give it to you.....


I wish my gym wouldn't run out of freakin' soap in the morning.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Granted. Gallager is about to give it to you.....


I wish my gym wouldn't run out of freakin' soap in the morning.
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Granted, but the soap is now personally dispensed by a large man in a Sumo outfit.

I wish I was scuba diving in Maui right now.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Granted, due to a peculiarity in your cable TV setup, sleep is no longer necessary. Now you have so much spare time on your hands that you delve in to alcholism, drugs, gambling and high price gigolos to bide the time, causing you to incur deep dept and now you cannot afford to fly. Which wouldn't matter anyway because your AME had diagnosed an abnormal sleep pattern rendering you ineligable for a third class medical.

After months of this condition, you are sufficiently removed from reality that you try to rob the main Ohio U.S. Bank branch in Columbus using an '90's vintage Stinger missle left over from the Gulf War, which accidentally discharges on the rooftop and shoots down the getaway helicopter you negotiated with the cops.

Get rid of cable.


I wish I could have anything I visualized.
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Didn't you visualize that curtains vs drapes thing in the other thread? You can have that, buddy.
 
kimberlyanne546 said:
Didn't you visualize that curtains vs drapes thing in the other thread? You can have that, buddy.
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kimberlyanne546 said:
Maybe it is that shower guy again?
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Get with the program!

John221us said:
Granted, but the soap is now personally dispensed by a large man in a Sumo outfit.

I wish I was scuba diving in Maui right now.
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Granted, you are scuba diving in Maui, Uganda. You are subsequently arrested for encroaching on a game preserve and thrown in prison with the general population, most of whom have AIDS and think you're mighty cute.


I wish I no POA posters would ever call me out on a thread again.
 
John221us said:
Granted, but the soap is now personally dispensed by a large man in a Sumo outfit.

I wish I was scuba diving in Maui right now.
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You are there and now a blowfish wants to grant you a kiss

I wish I had unlimited powers
 
Sac Arrow said:
Granted, you are scuba diving in Maui, Uganda. You are subsequently arrested for encroaching on a game preserve and thrown in prison with the general population, most of whom have AIDS and think you're mighty cute.


I wish I no POA posters would ever call me out on a thread again.
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Granted - and now you're the subject in the world's longest running PoA thread

I wish there were more smilies and emoticons on PoA
 
Jaybird180 said:
Granted - and now you're the subject in the world's longest running PoA thread

I wish there were more smilies and emoticons on PoA
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Granted, but now the board looks like it's been taken over by 12 year old girls.

I wish I had a house made of marshmallows.
 
numl0ck said:
Granted, but now the board looks like it's been taken over by 12 year old girls.

I wish I had a house made of marshmallows.
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Granted, it was built by a group of 12 year old girls. By the way, you're driving them all to the Justin Bieber concert.

I wish it could be Summer all year long.
 
numl0ck said:
Granted, but now the board looks like it's been taken over by 12 year old girls.

I wish I had a house made of marshmallows.
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Granted, but then the local Girl Scout troop decides to have a campfire in your driveway and uses it for smores.

I wish I wouldn't keep getting distracted from work.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Granted, it was built by a group of 12 year old girls. By the way, you're driving them all to the Justin Bieber concert.

I wish it could be Summer all year long.
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Granted, due to global warming. The oceans rise and engulf your house in the Pacific ocean. You are forced to move to Oklahoma.

I wish I could sleep in tomorrow.
 
Granted, you can sleep in forever because you've been fired for surfing the internet for too many hours.

I wish I had fashion sense.
 
saracelica said:
Granted, you can sleep in forever because you've been fired for surfing the internet for too many hours.

I wish I had fashion sense.
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You are granted fashion sense, 1970's fashion sense.

I wish that I wasn't still trapped in WWW.
 
Clark1961 said:
You are granted fashion sense, 1970's fashion sense.

I wish that I wasn't still trapped in WWW.
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Granted. Now you're trapped in FTP, an obsolete protocol that you may never get out of.

I wish the stupid clothing store had the no-iron short sleeve shirts I was looking for.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Granted. Now you're trapped in FTP, an obsolete protocol that you may never get out of.

I wish the stupid clothing store had the no-iron short sleeve shirts I was looking for.
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Granted, but they are all pink and two sizes two small.

I wish my son would finish his PPL.
 
Jaybird180 said:
Granted, he's now in the Professional Paintball League

I wish I had more time
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Granted, you have more time. But that required you to travel at a speed in excess of 30% of the speed of light, which basically ejected you from this universe. No more Burger King for you.


I wish I had a big platter of fish and chips to eat. Without the chips, of course. Maybe a salad instead. Yeah that.
 
Clark1961 said:
You are granted fashion sense, 1970's fashion sense.

I wish that I wasn't still trapped in WWW.
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Since I think he meant "Wet Wild Wyoming" and not the WWW Sac replied to, let's try again:

Granted, you finally get out of WWW and then move to California. There is a huge earthquake though that swallows up your plane.

I wish I could be a better rapper.
 
kimberlyanne546 said:
Since I think he meant "Wet Wild Wyoming" and not the WWW Sac replied to, let's try again:

Granted, you finally get out of WWW and then move to California. There is a huge earthquake though that swallows up your plane.

I wish I could be a better rapper.
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Granted. But Dr. Dre takes you out in a studio drive by and you're stuck having lunch with Tupac, Biggie Small and Jam Master Jay for the next two thousand years.

I wish Kimberly would learn to play the thread corruption game.
 
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