Corrupt my wish

Clark1961 said:
The weather lady had dinner with you but was sick for a week with food poisoning afterwards.

I wish the wellhead price of natural gas was 5.00 $/MMBTU for the next year.
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Granted, but before you can cash out and retire on all those stock options, hyperinflation kicks into overdrive and you're enjoying retirement as a Gas Station attendant at 80.

I wish I didn't waste so many days taking them for granted.
 
denverpilot said:
Granted, but before you can cash out and retire on all those stock options, hyperinflation kicks into overdrive and you're enjoying retirement as a Gas Station attendant at 80.

I wish I didn't waste so many days taking them for granted.
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You learn to live each day as if it is your last.

I wish I live 'til I'm 80 and passing gas for a living...
 
Clark1961 said:
You learn to live each day as if it is your last.

I wish I live 'til I'm 80 and passing gas for a living...
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And so you shall, and very successfully... until your career as the new "Petomaine" ends in a scandalous "sharting" incident on live TV, involving heads of state in the front row. :D


I wish I was 12 again...
 
rottydaddy said:
And so you shall, and very successfully... until your career as the new "Petomaine" ends in a scandalous "sharting" incident on live TV, involving heads of state in the front row. :D


I wish I was 12 again...
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Granted. Then you have to relive your teenage years soon afterwards.

I wish I was 22 again :)
 
alaskaflyer said:
Granted. Then you have to relive your teenage years soon afterwards.

I wish I was 22 again :)
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Granted, but you are a 22 year old female crack ho with no teeth and nice soft gums.

I wish Burger King would introduce a lettuce wrapped Whopper.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Granted, but you are a 22 year old female crack ho with no teeth and nice soft gums.

I wish Burger King would introduce a lettuce wrapped Whopper.
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Granted but then you'd have no crack ho to give your buns to.

I wish Olestra had no side effects.
 
Granted but the lettuce was tainted with a bunch of pesticides and you gravely ill.

I wish my in laws liked me better.
 
saracelica said:
Granted but the lettuce was tainted with a bunch of pesticides and you gravely ill.

I wish my in laws liked me better.
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Granted, But then they liked you too much and now you're pregnant

I wish my car was faster.
 
Matthew said:
Granted - and it handles really nice, too, since I stole it this morning.

I wish it were closer to lunch time.
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Granted, it is lunch time in the County jail. Except you're in the shower room having Bubba sausage.

I wish I could take today off.
 
Granted, And the next day, and the next...

I wish I had a better monitor
 
Granted but then you find your mistress and wife having coffee

I wish I had my IR already.
 
saracelica said:
Granted but then you find your mistress and wife having coffee

I wish I had my IR already.
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Granted but now that you fly on all those nasty, cold wet days it gives your husband more time to be with his girlfriend.

I wish they would invent a zero calorie hamburger.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Granted but now that you fly on all those nasty, cold wet days it gives your husband more time to be with his girlfriend.

I wish they would invent a zero calorie hamburger.
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Granted, but now you can't feel it anymore and you need something else to fill you up

I wish Sac Arrow had more friends in this silly game
 
Matthew said:
Granted - but it has a side effect of making you gain weight, a lot of weight.

I wish my cat didn't smell funny.
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Granted, so you kept smelling your cat

I wish I could pause time
 
Jaybird180 said:
Granted, so you kept smelling your cat

I wish I could pause time
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Granted, you can. But now you have to deal with POA posters that claim you implemented physics incorrectly.

I wish I could instantly have any chick I want.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Granted, you can. But now you have to deal with POA posters that claim you implemented physics incorrectly.

I wish I could instantly have any chick I want.
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Granted, but other things happen instantly and they leave you.

I wish it wasn't raining so hard right now.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Granted, you can. But now you have to deal with POA posters that claim you implemented physics incorrectly.

I wish I could instantly have any chick I want.
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Granted, but then the rape charges came rolling in....

I wish I paid more attention before posting
 
Granted. But then you wouldn't be paying attention to your awesome new monitor that was granted as well

I wish I had my own paid for airplane that required no maintenance charges and didn't use avgas.
 
Granted, you do, but it's made by Revelle.


I wish I could have all lunches for free from here on out.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Granted, you do, but it's made by Revelle.


I wish I could have all lunches for free from here on out.
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Granted by the California Department of Corrections - you and Bubba are now cellmates.

I wish I wasn't in WWW
 
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Granted but your in an intranet which means you're at work. Blech!

I wish things I touched turned to gold!
 
Jaybird180 said:
Get your hands off that!

I wish I was in Utopia
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Granted. You are, but given it isn't a real place name you are stuck in some sort of cosmic warp plus your nards are solid metal now.


I wish I had a bed in my office.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Granted. You are, but given it isn't a real place name you are stuck in some sort of cosmic warp plus your nards are solid metal now.


I wish I had a bed in my office.
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Granted, but it is made of nails.

I wish everthing I touched turned to butterflies.
 
kimberlyanne546 said:
Granted, but it is made of nails.

I wish everthing I touched turned to butterflies.
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Granted, your yoke, throttle and mixture knob just flew out the window.

I wish my Iphone had an app that allowed me to control people's minds.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Granted, your yoke, throttle and mixture knob just flew out the window.

I wish my Iphone had an app that allowed me to control people's minds.
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Granted, but then everyone you know started sleeping with each other for your enjoyment and no work got done. Everybody lost their job and therefore the ability to continue to own an Arrow.

I wish my Android phone had an app that allowed me to fast forward the work day to 5pm.
 
Matthew said:
Granted - but you just changed to 2nd shift and your work day STARTS at 5pm.

I wish I had a beer.
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Granted - But after a couple you get pulled over for a light out. You get arrested for drunk driving and loose your pilots license for life.

I wish I had more gas to fly.
 
Matthew said:
Granted - you have a nice cold bottle of the best champagne. But, lacking thumbs, you are unable to open it.

I wish tom smith could type faster...
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Granted, but then everyone else does not get to grant your wishes first.

I wish I knew who Tom Smith was (since he lives in California and only has 4 posts, half of which are here). Us Californians are rare on POA.
 
kimberlyanne546 said:
Granted, but then everyone else does not get to grant your wishes first.

I wish I knew who Tom Smith was (since he lives in California and only has 4 posts, half of which are here). Us Californians are rare on POA.
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Granted. But when he meets you he raps your knuckles for incorrect use of objective pronouns.

I wish that I didn't have an office job (funny to some of you who know me, but trust me - I do have one.)
 
alaskaflyer said:
Granted. But when he meets you he raps your knuckles for incorrect use of objective pronouns.

I wish that I didn't have an office job (funny to some of you who know me, but trust me - I do have one.)
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Granted, you don't have an office job. Or any other for that matter anymore, and you have to become a male prostitute to pay your bills.


I wish E40 would include me in his next rap album.
 
Granted, but again it's about you being in jail with Big Bubba. You pretty boy. :)

I wish I didn't have to go to the gym to lose weight
 
saracelica said:
Granted, but again it's about you being in jail with Big Bubba. You pretty boy. :)

I wish I didn't have to go to the gym to lose weight
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Granted, but then the only way to burn calories is with Bubba.

I wish all the vendors I work with weren't in different time zones, since I can't get anything done after 2pm which is right when my coffee is kicking in.
 
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