Lets make Friday 'Joke Day'!

It is truly amazing how people can’t follow simple instructions
 
Bob Noel said:
It is truly amazing how people can’t follow simple instructions
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It's also amazing how many instructions are almost impossible to follow. I'm thinking of those with no or few words. Just tiny little pictograms.
 
Point of support for the Italians. 1957,58, 15 months near the Dolomites, doing monthly maneuvers in the Alps with the Italian forces.

This is probably the best point to bring up the quality of those Italian troops we were in the field with. Stories of the willingness to surrender abound, but are from wars where the troops were in dis agreement with the war occurring, most recently WW 2, when the Germans were invited to occupy by Mussolini. They readily surrendered to the Americans.

The Alpini, Mountain Troops, who were out with us several times were well trained, and in amazing physical shape. Each morning, they fell out of their tents at the break of day, harnessed the burro’s, loaded machine guns and mortars on them, and moved out double time to a nearby ridge. Slowing to normal cadence, they climbed to the top of the ridge, traveled a mile or two, descended back to the valley, and double timed back to bivouac. Unload the animals, turn them out to graze, and line up for breakfast. That round trip was much more than hour, and strenuous. They deployed up the ridges and mountains again each day. They were very tough, had a lot of endurance, plus they lived in the edge of the Alps, and would be defending their homes. They would have been better protection that the 52nd Airborne (I did not say that to the 52nd, of course). The data on the internet says they were armored infantry, but they were in the barracks next to us, and were proud to be AIRBORNE.

To add jokes, told to me by an Italian Airforce Master Sergeant.

An Italian pilot flew 3 Kamikaze missions, and never lost his plane.

Surplus Italian Army rifles, never fired, and only thrown down twice.

If you have read Hemingway's 'A Farewell to Arms', I have visited the Mt Grappa battle cemetery. There were an amazing number of troops killed, fighting hard.
The battles to hold the passes in the north were fierce, and long.
 
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JOhnH said:
It's also amazing how many instructions are almost impossible to follow. I'm thinking of those with no or few words. Just tiny little pictograms.
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You mean like the owners manual for the truck that says to use tow/haul mode if it’s installed when pulling trailers, but there is no button/switch that says “tow/haul,” only some unidentified switch and light with an icon of a double axle trailer with a bent hitch?
 
JOhnH said:
It's also amazing how many instructions are almost impossible to follow. I'm thinking of those with no or few words. Just tiny little pictograms.
Click to expand...

I don't know about other locations, but when my city got those recyle carts and the trash cart, the instruction clearly stated that the trash has to fit completely inside the cart.

Of course, the instructions also clearly state that the carts have to be 3' from other objects (like another cart)... I'd estimate that more than half of the people put them side-by-side. I never bothered to watch the truck try to deal with that situation.
 
geezer said:
Point of support for the Italians. 15 months near the Dolomites, doing monthly maneuvers in the Alps with the Italian forces.

This is probably the best point to bring up the quality of those Italian troops we were in the field with. Stories of the willingness to surrender abound, but are from wars where the troops were in dis agreement with the war occurring, most recently WW 2, when the Germans were invited to occupy by Mussolini. They readily surrendered to the Americans.

The Alpini, Mountain Troops, who were out with us several times were well trained, and in amazing physical shape. Each morning, they fell out of their tents at the break of day, harnessed the burro’s, loaded machine guns and mortars on them, and moved out double time to a nearby ridge. Slowing to normal cadence, they climbed to the top of the ridge, traveled a mile or two, descended back to the valley, and double timed back to bivouac. Unload the animals, turn them out to graze, and line up for breakfast. That round trip was much more than hour, and strenuous. They deployed up the ridges and mountains again each day. They were very tough, had a lot of endurance, plus they lived in the edge of the Alps, and would be defending their homes. They would have been better protection that the 52nd Airborne (I did not say that to the 52nd, of course). The data on the internet says they were armored infantry, but they were in the barracks next to us, and were proud to be AIRBORNE.

To add jokes, told to me by an Italian Airforce Master Sergeant.

An Italian pilot flew 3 Kamikaze missions, and never lost his plane.

Surplus Italian Army rifles, never fired, and only thrown down twice.

If you have read Hemingway's 'A Farewell to Arms', I have visited the Mt Grappa battle cemetery. There were an amazing number of troops killed, fighting hard.
The battles to hold the passes in the north were fierce, and long.
Click to expand...
I thank you for bringing that up, and my Grandfather Santoleri, who fought for Mussolini, under threat of execution, would thank you too. He said that shooting at Americans was only one of the things he wouldn't do. He pointed his gut towards the ground and expended all his ammo on a bush.
 
Four old friends were strolling down the street when they turned a corner and spotted a sign that read: "Old Timers Bar - ALL drinks 10 cents."
They exchanged surprised looks, hardly believing their eyes, and decided to check it out.
As they entered the bar, the bartender greeted them with a booming voice that carried across the room, “Come on in, gentlemen! Let me pour you a drink. What’ll it be?”
The bar was fully stocked, so each of the men ordered a martini.
In no time, the bartender presented them with four perfectly chilled martinis—shaken, not stirred—and said, “That’s 10 cents each, please.”
The men stared at the bartender in disbelief, then glanced at each other, grinning like kids on Christmas morning. They eagerly handed over 40 cents and sipped their martinis, marveling at their good fortune.
Unable to resist, they ordered another round. Once again, the bartender served up four flawless martinis and repeated, “That’s 40 cents, please.”
By now, they’d each had two martinis and hadn’t even spent a dollar. Their curiosity got the better of them.
One of the men finally spoke up. “How on earth can you afford to serve drinks this good for just 10 cents apiece?”
The bartender leaned against the bar with a smile. “Well, I’m a retired tailor from Phoenix. I always dreamed of owning a bar. Last year, I hit the lottery jackpot—$125 million! So I opened this place where every drink is 10 cents. Wine, liquor, beer—you name it, it’s all the same price.”
“Wow, that’s an incredible story!” one of the men said, raising his glass in admiration.
As they continued sipping their drinks, they noticed a group of seven people sitting quietly at the far end of the bar. None of them had drinks in front of them, and they hadn’t ordered anything the entire time.
One of the men gestured toward them and asked the bartender, “What’s the deal with those folks?”
The bartender chuckled. “Oh, them? They’re retired pilots. They’re waiting for Happy Hour, when drinks are half price.”
 
This guy’s high school picture proves he will be a pilot one day.
IMG_0218.jpeg
 
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