Lets make Friday 'Joke Day'!

[Bob Noel]

View attachment 145677

cue up the scene from "The Martian"

 

[Bill]

Does a Roman paramedic just start a four in your arm?

Bad drive?

 

[MauleSkinner]

Does a Roman paramedic just start a four in your arm?

Why do you think they call it a fourarm?

 

[Chrisgoesflying]

 

[Daleandee]

 

[GaryM]

View attachment 145677

Those kits always have some critical part missing. In this case, the match.

 

[AV8R_87]

Those kits always have some critical part missing. In this case, the match.

The match is a standard tool, like a flat blade screwdricer. You're supposed to have it.

 

[MauleSkinner]

The match is a standard tool, like a flat blade screwdricer. You're supposed to have it.

I don’t have any screwdricers at all…hey, @Tools , can you provide guidance on which screwdricers I should get?

 

[2-Bit Speed]

 

[2-Bit Speed]

 

[Tools]

I don’t have any screwdricers at all…hey, @Tools , can you provide guidance on which screwdricers I should get?

They’re the ones you use to break up clumps of ice in the freezer too long. Some people use ice picks… but those are for axe murdering.

 

[MauleSkinner]

They’re the ones you use to break up clumps of ice in the freezer too long.

Oh, you mean a torch.

 

[Tools]

Nope… those are for BACON!!

 

[farmrjohn]

 

[GaryM]

I don’t have any screwdricers at all…hey, @Tools , can you provide guidance on which screwdricers I should get?

I know you didn't ask me, but I'd recommend...

 

[Sac Arrow]

A coral snake slithered in to a barbershop. The barber said "I'm afraid there isn't much I can do for you."

The snake then twisted itself in to a spiral and announced "actually, I'm here about a job."

 

[ArrowFlyer86]

View attachment 145645

Reminds me of the post my brother made after he became a Sergeant (Army).

 

[Dana]

Reminds me of the post my brother made after he became a Sergeant (Army).
View attachment 145743

There's gotta be a story behind that...

 

[AV8R_87]

 

[Timbeck2]

A coral snake slithered in to a barbershop. The barber said "I'm afraid there isn't much I can do for you."

The snake then twisted itself in to a spiral and announced "actually, I'm here about a job."

I don’t get it

 

[JOhnH]

I don’t get it

Surely you are old enough to remember barber poles?

 

[robin ardoin]

A string was inching his way down Bourbon Street and decided to enter a bar for a beer. He noticed a sign on the door, in bold italics explicitly stating “WE DON’T SERVE STRINGS”. Not to be deterred, the string unraveled and contorted contorted itself then rolled up on a barstool asking the bartender for a beer. The puzzled bartender stared at the customer on the stool and asked inquisitively, “Hey, are you a string?”. The frazzled customer replied “No, I’m a frayed knot”.

 

[Half Fast]

Surely you are old enough to remember barber poles?

Yes, but the colors of a barber pole don't match those of a coral snake.

 

[geneseib]

Yes, but the colors of a barber pole don't match those of a coral snake.

So he didn't get the job.

 

[Daleandee]

So he didn't get the job.

Must have gotten all wrapped up for nothing ...

 

[Half Fast]

?????

 

[Zeldman]

Is it red and yellow friendly fellow or red and yellow kills a fellow...

 

[AV8R_87]

Maybe from the time barbers were doctors?

 

[Flatiowa]

Maybe from the time barbers were doctors?

View attachment 145783

Perhaps the medical field and more presently the pharmaceutical industry (present company excluded of course) were warning us they were dirt snakes all along… but I’m probably just paranoid and should ask my doctor about the 17 different medications I saw advertisements for on tv.

 

[Half Fast]

Is it red and yellow friendly fellow or red and yellow kills a fellow...

Kills, but if you can’t remember don’t pick one up. Their venom is more deadly than a rattler’s. Fortunately they tend to be quite docile.

 

[MauleSkinner]

Surely you are old enough to remember barber poles?

I’ve had to explain that term to more than one non-U.S. pilot.

 

[Daleandee]

Is it red and yellow friendly fellow or red and yellow kills a fellow...

I ain't got time for nursery rhymes ... if it has no shoulders it won't get any older.

 

[Zeldman]

I ain't got time for nursery rhymes ... if it has no shoulders it won't get any older.

My wife used to think the same way. But she comes from a country were 98% of the snakes are venomous. I finally got her to come get me when she sees a snake. I just get them in a bucket and relocate them across the road.

We were driving once and she asked me what a rattle snake sounds like. I told her to look it up on her phone. She did. At full volume.

Man...I almost bailed out at 50 mph...

 

[Timbeck2]

Surely you are old enough to remember barber poles?

I am but yellow and black wasn’t on them

 

[Daleandee]

I just get them in a bucket and relocate them across the road.

Admittedly, I've relocated a few ...

 

[ArrowFlyer86]

 

[Domenick]

Ok, I'm gonna light this flamethrower under this cloth bag.

 

[2-Bit Speed]

 

[AV8R_87]

 

[lmars]

A box full of amnesia