Ask Sac a question

Why does failure to learn history doom one to repeat it?
 
Clark1961 said:
Why does failure to learn history doom one to repeat it?
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Define failure to learn history. If Little Johnny gets a C+ in history he does not need to retake the class.

Now, one might ask, why did Little Johnny get a C+ in history? The test was as so:

1. What color of uniform did the British wear during the Revolutionary War, and why were they called Redcoats?

2. Where did Lincoln deliver the Gettysburg Address?

3. Who was intended to be buried in Grant's tomb?

Actually Little Johnny did not get a C+. He got a D. But....

Little Johnny isn't stupid. He's just nasty. He got a C+ in his Junior Programming class because he thought it would be clever (get it?). He got a D in history because the Blonde that taught it (and made up the test questions) had D's as well and he looked forward to another round of starting fights in class just so he could roll around on the floor and look up her dress.

Fast forward: After two rounds of history class, Little Johnny is so knowledgeable about the subject that he can fool any Blonde at the bar, and also the occasional Asian chick just as long as he sticks with American history and doesn't go in to a discourse about Ghengis Khan (that's risky.)

So, I dunno. If the question was directed in response to some of the recent SZ conversations, like taking on hoards of refugees, I don't have an answer. Maybe re-introduce slavery as an economic introduction point, although that would probably be a hard sell plus we would probably have to create a fictitious Syrian Christmas holiday as an appeasement.
 
What is Sac's occupation?
Please answer in the 3rd person if you don't mind.
 
The Sac's occupation is obscure. One can infer that it is generally technical in nature. The exact job description is elusive. They see him come and go about the grounds, and they know he does something, but nobody can figure out exactly what that is other than there are like degrees and licenses and crap like that on his wall. They aren't exactly sure how or why he ended up in the payroll system, but then again it isn't theirs to question authority.

What skill sets are required for Sac's job? Payroll says particle physics. Corporate says self preservation. Facilities maintenance says knowledge of demolition techniques. HR says self destructive tendency management. IT says a high tolerance to porn. Coworkers say... wait a minute, no coworkers can be specifically identified.
 
Why do the castaways on Gilligans Island always have fresh clean clothes?
 
Zeldman said:
Why do the castaways on Gilligans Island always have fresh clean clothes?
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Well what do you do on an Island.

Seriously.

They don't have to go to work. All they do is drink bubbly, pick mangoes from the jungle and have petty housewife dramas.

THEIR CLOTHES DON'T GET DIRTY.

N801BH said:
ha...

And how did Ginger and MaryAnn never get pregnant?:dunno:
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I'm going to go out on a limb here (so to speak) and say that the only truly straight man in the group is Mr. Howell, and he couldn't get it up. While I don't think the Skipper is strictly gay, there was some weird, bizarre "Little Buddy syndrome between Gilligan and himself. They slept in the same hut for god's sake, and they didn't have to.

I mean, in real life, a mini drama would occur within the first... I'll give it two weeks of captivity, and horns will be butted, lines will be drawn, successors will emerge, partners will be chosen, and both of the single chicks are going to pair up with the two most logical guys, and THAT's how the hut arrangements will be determined.

Oh, who gets to be the odd one that gets a bunk in the Howell's back room in exchange for live in butler services? Is that a serious question? You can't figure that out?

I'm going to guess the Skipper is the one that gets Ginger, and Mary Ann picks the Professor.
 
Do you have any level of regret about starting this thread?
It has the potential to keep you busy for a long time.
 
SixPapaCharlie said:
Do you have any level of regret about starting this thread?
It has the potential to keep you busy for a long time.
Click to expand...

Define regret. I just finished a conversation with a former CCR officer telling me about how he had to write an incident report about how an inmate was caught in the Folsom prison exercise yard having relations with a dead bird. Now, the mechanics of how that could occur are the subject of a serious debate. He regrets bringing the subject up.
 
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Sac Arrow said:
Define regret. I just finished a conversation with a former CCR officer telling me about how he had to write an incident report about how an inmate was caught in the Folsom prison exercise yard having relations with a dead bird. Now, the mechanics of how that could occur are the subject of a serious debate. He regrets bringing the subject up.
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So the inmate was trying to goose a goose? :eek:
 
Checkout_my_Six said:
Here I thought it had to do with a sac of potatoes and an old Indian gal? ....no? :yikes:
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Eww no, young Indian girls please.

Cap'n Jack said:
So the inmate was trying to goose a goose? :eek:
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iflyvfr said:
Or choke a chicken? :eek:
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As I understand it, it was some kind of crow. He said the internal parts were... compromised, in order to facilitate the action. What they thought he was doing initially was digging something up from the ground (i.e. drugs) so they went over and found that.
 
Why can't a person tickle themselves?

If you mix pasta with anti pasta, will there be an explosion? :dunno:
 
Zeldman said:
Why can't a person tickle themselves?

If you mix pasta with anti pasta, will there be an explosion? :dunno:
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The only reason why a person can't tickle themselves, is because they may not tickle themselves, for whatever reason. But understand, if you see a sign that says "Tickling one's self is not allowed" rest assured it is a euphemism for something else.

Regarding the second question, the answer is yes, at least in my case. But if I eat pasta, anal explosions will occur regardless of the addition of anti pasta.

Now, there is the case of Auntie Pasta. She is very proud of it, and if you sneak in a helping of Kraft Mac and Cheese while your plate is full of her Orecchiette with Ricotta and Chard Pan Sauce, her fist is going to feel a lot like an explosion.
 
Checkout_my_Six said:
Sac....sounds like you might be gluten intolerant? :eek:
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That is correct. And yes, all of my life, well before it became a fad. Runs in the family. I can eat a little bit and be okay (not great, but not really bad.) For some other relatives bread crumbs in food = a trip to the ER.
 
Is it possible to fly at a weight of 62lbs per horsepower?
 
SixPapaCharlie said:
So how are things?
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Imagine... you had a slide rule. A nice metal one. You know, the thing that looks a lot like a landing calculator (a metal one) except that the inside bar slides in and out. Because the inside bar slides in and out, if you have ever used one, you would find that that performing a calculation with it is akin to participating in the love making process. No I'm not old enough to have actually had the need to have ever used one but remember people still fly WWI vintage aircraft in modern times.

But, where was I going with this. Yes, I was just setting the backdrop. Anyway, imagine someone snuck in to your office late at night, removed your slide rule, took it to a machine shop, and rolled it in to a ring and welded the ends together. So it's now sort of like an E6B except the face is on the edge. Then they put it back in your drawer.

IT STILL WORKS. But, alas, there is nothing to go in and out. So, I guess that's the allegory. That and cole slaw.

Zeldman said:
Why does a persons pee smell bad after eating asparagus?
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I've often wondered that myself but I will throw out the casual observation that pee smells bad prior to eating asparagus too. However, in the course of researching the process of asparagation, you will find some weird vegetable/meat/fantasy/cult references. That can't make your pee smell any better.

flhrci said:
Why did this thread die and then become resurrected?
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Followers and heretics alike have been asking that question since April 23rd, AD 33. Well okay not that exact question but it's close enough.

MotoFlier said:
Is it possible to fly at a weight of 62lbs per horsepower?
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The power vs. weight curve asymptotically merges to infinity at glider.

N801BH said:
Is Sac still alive..:dunno:
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Clark1961 said:
Was Sac ever alive?
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He has been resurrected.
 
N801BH said:
But.......

Is Sac eating bread again???:confused:
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Breaking bread, not eating bread, now we're in the whole metaphysical religious Sac has a Jesus complex bent now.

But worse. Apple pie.

Yeah.

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That was Friday. I felt like crap until Sunday afternoon.
 

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Functionally, the slide rule would end up something like this....

FE5R6VQH5W8A7XU.MEDIUM.jpg
 
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