Somewhere in Northern California, two weeks ago... Okay so, alright. There is this burger place, okay Burger Place, it deserves to be called by a proper name, that is an upcoming soon-to-be iconic California tradition, much in the way Inn & Out is. But this place is better than Inn & Out. And for that matter this rant isn't about Inn & Out so I'll quit talking about it. And actually the rant isn't about the burger place, er, Burger Place either. The Burger Girls are really nice to me. Even more so than the Burger Manager. They greet me warmly, tend to remember my order, and they even give me a free drink. I think it's an unofficial policy that regulars get free drinks. I am a regular at a bar. Like Cheers but I do not look like Norm. I do not get free drinks. By the way it's probably a bad idea to use "I am a regular at a bar" as a backdrop on an aviation forum but I need it as a backdrop so deal with it. Anyway, there is this new Burger Girl. Young, roundish, slightly pockmarked face, blue eyes, nice smile, looks like a little sweetie (they all look like little sweeties). But, well. Okay. Here's how it went down. "I would like a burger, lettuce wrapped, and I would like a side Ceasar salad with no croutons." "Burger, lettuce wrapped, and a side Ceasar with parmesan only." "Okay." Well I got my order. She got the burger right. That's the important thing. But, the Ceasar salad, well, the cooks (probably correctly) interpreted "Parmesan only" to mean lettuce only, with parmesan on top. No dressing. Now here's the thing, it doesn't really put me out THAT MUCH as I can get a side of Ceasar and mix it in myself. This place normally tosses a Ceasar with dressing, then puts the parmesan (and croutons if so inclined) on top. I like that. In fact, that's the reason why I get the side Ceasar instead of the mixed green salad. For whatever reason, they toss the dressing in with the Ceasar but give it to you on the side with the mixed greens. And this place doesn't have a fridge full of premade salads, they make all of their salads up on the spot with the order. That same place in Northern California, a week ago... So I'm like on mile 70 of 84. I'm wearing my tight bike spandex. Biceps pumped. Quads flexed. Gluteals tight. Bulge just slightly prevalent, but not obscenely so. There she is, on duty, in her light blue uniform polo shirt. "I would like a burger, lettuce wrapped, and a side Ceasar, with no croutons." "Mmmmhmm mmmm burger mmmmhmmm salad mmhmmm" (pretend adult voices in a Peanuts movie but with one or two intelligible words.) "Okay." I have my receipt. I read it. "Side Ceasar, parmesan only." Oh, shyte. Well, I go back up to the counter. "Hey, missy (no, I didn't actually call her missy, I just said hey) look, this is rung up as parmesan only. The last time they forgot the dressing. I want dressing on it." "Okay." "Are they going to put dressing on it?" "Yes." "Tell them. Tell them I want dressing on it." She smiled. Well guess what. No dressing. The Burger Girl that placed my order on the counter remarked "Here is your burger and... salad with... no dressing." Okay I got mad. I didn't entirely come from together but I was clearly, and deliberately agitated. "Look, I ordered this salad with no croutons. Not no dressing or croutons. I really want dressing!" (in an agitated voice.) "No problem, we will remake..." "No, no, just give me some dressing on the side, I don't want to waste it. This is the second time in a row! I told HER!" (glaring at the other Burger Girl.) And I got this smiley look of "hey, you're really entertaining" not "gee, I'm sorry I f***d your order up twice in a row!" Fast forward to today.... I walk in to the Burger Place with apprehension. There are two Burger Girls working the counter. There is the black Burger Girl working the left register. She's a nice Burger Girl. She gives me free drinks. She always gets my order right. She asks me how my ride is going. Or how my day is. And I tell her fine, or lousy, or mediocre, or passable, or whatever the case may be. Like I said, she's a nice Burger Girl. Then, working the right hand register was HER. I could see her face. What the hell is she planning. She knows I'm next in her line, and she's licking her lips in anticipation. Except she's really hard to read. Really hard. Damn, there's nobody behind me that I can trade places with if I need to. I decide, look, I'm going to just deal with the situation as it is. The fat guy on the left register is taking way too long ordering some really complicated stuff. "Welcome to the soon to be iconic Burger Place that isn't Inn& Out." (She didn't really say that, I'm paraphrasing.) "I would like a burger, lettuce wrapped, and a side Ceasar with no croutons." "....burger.....side Ceasar parmesan only." "No, no, no, no, no. Let me break it down. Your side Ceasar salad has four components. Romaine lettuce, dressing, parmesan and croutons. I want three of those components. I want Romaine lettuce, dressing, parmesan, but I want to leave one of those components out. That component is croutons. I want you to ring it up as a side Ceasar with no croutons. If you ring it up as a side Ceasar, parmesan only, the cooks won't put any dressing on it." "Okay." "So can you ring it up that way?" "Yes." Burger, double, sub lettuce wrap Ceasar, side, parmesan only Drink, med Dine in Total..... Okay. I got to call the other Burger Girl over. "Hey, look, can you please ask the cooks to put some dressing on this salad? This is the third time in a row my order got rung up this way. She doesn't get it. This is getting tiring." Anyway I got what I wanted but it was like pulling teeth. Sheesh.