Quality of life question

Ozone

Ozone

Pre-takeoff checklist
Joined
Aug 10, 2014
Messages
188
Location
Minnesota
Display Name
Display name:
Ozone
I am looking for some input, especially from those who have faced this type of issue before.
The set up:
2 school-aged kids (2nd grade & 6th grade)
stay-at-home mom
in our current community for 5 years
About 20 years experience doing what i do for work

The options:
1: stay in the current metro area and take a job that pays 60% of what I have been making, doing what I've been doing for years, schools stay the same, and the commute is only 20-30 minutes

2: stay in the current metro area and take a job that pays 90-100% of what I have been making, schools stay the same, but commute is over an hour

3: Move next state over to new job that pays 100-150% of what I have been making, commute is 5-10 minutes, schools are ok/good, and it's in a teeny-tiny town far from everything else. One benefit: cost of living is 1/3 of current.

4: Move next state over to new job that pays 100-150% of what I have been making, commute is 10-15 minutes, schools are only good in spendy area of town (of course), and the job has a leadership opportunity. One benefit: cost of living is 3/4 of current location.

5: Move far away to new job that pays 70-90% of what I have been making, commute is 30 minutes, schools are good, and the job is 100% secure after 3 years. One benefit: cost of living is 3/4 of current location.

6: Move far away to new job that pays 100-150% of what I have been making, commute is 15 minutes, I would need to get back into doing some things I haven't done for over 10 years, schools are ok/poor, and the job is in a remote but nice town. One benefit: cost of living is 1/2 of current location.

My concerns:
1: wife has made connections in local community
2: kids have made friends in local community/school
3: wife has horse and has made connections in horse community
4: I have made connections in the community with my flying hobby

I know, I know....first world problems. If anyone has faced similar job decisions, I would really like some thoughts. Especially as it relates to how your family handled things.

Thank you to anyone willing to answer.
 
3 hands down. Retire that much sooner. But I say that as someone who has never been married and has no kids.
 
eman1200 said:
or a horse?
Click to expand...
I guess this means we can never say to Ed "....and the horse you rode in on"

I vote #3 as well.... equine and aviation communities abound all over the place.
 
We have made two big moves since getting married, both for jobs. The first one was from PA to Ohio, and the second one from Ohio to Kansas City. The move to Ohio was more a "need to". The job was good for my career, but I also needed a job that was going to pay better with a baby on the way and my wife's job (3 weeks on, 3 weeks off of travel) not being compatible with a new baby.

The second move was because we wanted to. We really didn't like Ohio and I received a job offer that was getting me in a direction I wanted to go professionally and it's been a great move that I really have enjoyed.

Now we've been here in Kansas, our son starts 1st grade in a few weeks. We've made friends, we have a great setup in the aviation community, my wife now has a job that she is happy with too. Plus we have a home and property that we absolutely love. We've put down roots and we're in a location that we're very happy with.

It's unclear from what you've posted whether you really like where you live or whether you mostly don't want to move because of leaving friends. Ultimately I left the area I grew up in (NYC) and the people who were my best friends because I truly hated (still hate) that area. Although I do my best to maintain those friendships, there's no doubt that they're significantly different vs. what they would've been if I'd stayed. You haven't mentioned if you have family nearby (or if you want to be near them) or if moving might get you closer (or further) from family, and whether that's good, bad, or indifferent, another consideration. In general, we're more nomadic and we've left areas if we feel that we'd be going to another area that we'd like better, especially if it means an improvement in our financial status. But that's us.

For us in our current location, the answer would be 1 or 2, but we live on the outskirts of a metro area in farmland, rather than in it and love where we live.

If we lived in a metro area, #3 sounds the best, but 4-6 could also be potentials depending on details of the location of 3.
 
In general, any option except 1 seems reasonable. There isn't really enough information on the specific places to make an informed judgement. Low cost areas can be sketchy areas.
 
Step 1: ask mama
Step 2: do as you're told
 
Part of the charm of living in a small place with a short commute (#3) can get eaten up with the long drive to everything else (dr, dentist, groceries, ...)

For me, #3 doesn't sound too bad. But at 1/3 the cost of living, I'd also expect to see at least one trailer park and the next time you move you might have your house on the market for a while.
 
1/3 cost of living. Trailer park boys
 
Last edited:
#1 is meshuga.

#5: what job is 100% secure?
 
Ted DuPuis said:
...

It's unclear from what you've posted whether you really like where you live or whether you mostly don't want to move because of leaving friends. Ultimately I left the area I grew up in (NYC) and the people who were my best friends because I truly hated (still hate) that area. Although I do my best to maintain those friendships, there's no doubt that they're significantly different vs. what they would've been if I'd stayed. You haven't mentioned if you have family nearby (or if you want to be near them) or if moving might get you closer (or further) from family, and whether that's good, bad, or indifferent, another consideration....
Click to expand...

We are about 1000 miles from either side of the family. I'm an only child, so with my parents getting older, it would be better to be closer to them. The far-away options might spur my parents to move there as well; we already have some family in that far-away area already. My wife's parents, on the other hand, would be even further away from us in the new state; but that's what airlines are for ;-)

I do like the area in which we live, and it would be a shame to leave. That said, I am OK with a nomadic existence; the wife, not so much.
Thanks for all the answers so far. I appreciate it.
 
Which one has the closest airport?
 
If it was just me, 3 is the answer without hesitation. With the wife and kids I'd have to at least talk over 2 but I know I'd personally be a lot happier with 3.

Of course we don't know the intangibles like which place is nicer to work for or what kind of tiny town we're talking about... or proximity to airports, stuff to do, etc.
 
As a pilot, I would NEVER pick a job location far from an airport ;-)

In all seriousness, all the jobs have good GA airports nearby. One job even has a super cub maker nearby....not that this should influence me.
 
3 or 4. Long commutes suck, and after 20 years, leadership opportunities matter.
 
3 or 4, but leaning towards 4 because of career growth opportunities.

Of course, this is based on the information given. I'd need a lot more data to be definitive, starting with what you do for a living and where you currently live.
 
Ozone said:
We are about 1000 miles from either side of the family. I'm an only child, so with my parents getting older, it would be better to be closer to them. The far-away options might spur my parents to move there as well; we already have some family in that far-away area already. My wife's parents, on the other hand, would be even further away from us in the new state; but that's what airlines are for ;-)

I do like the area in which we live, and it would be a shame to leave. That said, I am OK with a nomadic existence; the wife, not so much.
Thanks for all the answers so far. I appreciate it.
Click to expand...

If you're 1,000 miles from either side of the family, you're far enough away that being further I don't think is much of a difference.

If your wife wants to stay and doesn't want to leave, then I think that leaves 1 and 2 as your options, and for me I'd take an extra 30 minutes each way per commute for that 90-100% of current pay scale rather than take that much of a pay cut and still have 20-30 minute commute.
 
Eliminate anything that doesn't have good schools, unless you're willing to homeschool and/or send the kids away to school. (We've done both.)

If there are airport/horses/whatever nearby, new friends can be made.
 
asicer said:
3 or 4, but leaning towards 4 because of career growth opportunities.

Of course, this is based on the information given. I'd need a lot more data to be definitive, starting with what you do for a living and where you currently live.
Click to expand...
I currently live in MN. I am an outpatient-only spine medicine and sports medicine doctor. I manage people with joint and spine problems, do some injections and coordinate care with other health practitioners like physical therapists, chiropractors, massage therapists, etc. It's a good job and a good life.
 
I tried #3 and hated it. Our house was right next to the airport too. Small towns are not for me. From what you listed, I would pick #4. But you're talking to a guy that has moved from Illinois to Texas to California to Indiana to Illinois to Texas to Illinois to Germany. I am not to be trusted in moving decisions.
 
Pay is only part of job satisfaction. You spend quite a bit of your life on your job, so it is important to be happy and enjoy the people you work with, even at the cost of some pay. Talk to some of your potential coworkers and see if you can judge how happy they are at their jobs. A 30 minute commute isn't terrible, but 10 minutes is better. With your wife being a stay at home mom, you probably have more flexibility with the commute than others might. As your kids approach their early teen years, there will be a lot of chauffeuring them around (so the commute may be a bit of a hassle then). They will also be locked in to their clique of friends as they get a bit older, making the option of moving slimmer as time goes by.
 
Ozone said:
I currently live in MN. I am an outpatient-only spine medicine and sports medicine doctor. I manage people with joint and spine problems, do some injections and coordinate care with other health practitioners like physical therapists, chiropractors, massage therapists, etc. It's a good job and a good life.
Click to expand...
I think that reaffirms 4 for me. However your wife is the trump card, though.
 
What does your wife think about a teeny-tiny or remote town? You will have a job to go to, but will she be happy without much to do nearby? You say she has a horse, so maybe she likes the country.
 
#4 with #3 as a close second.

#4 gives you equal or better salary with opportunity for advancement while cost of living is reduced. Kids are young and will make new friends, and with the money, you can potentially look for private schools if the public schools don’t provide high quality education.

Don’t commute. It’s wasted time (for you and your family) and wasted health. I commute 2 -2.5 hours each way to work. It wouldn’t take much for me to swerve off the highway into the Pacific.
 
3 or 4, and eat the horse so you have even more disposable income. Of course you might have to sell your plane if you don't have the horse chip.
 
Do it while the kids are young. once they get to about 9th grade, through high school, moving and changing careers is very hard on everyone involved.

I retired from the Navy, thinking I'd get an aerospace job that would be a step up for us. Since the wife is a critical care RN, I figured she could get a good job just about anywhere. Didn't work that way. Wife and kids were inconsolable over the idea of moving again. It was so stressful, I wound up looking for work near by. It took me nearly a year to land a job paying non-union wage, working on the floor as skilled labor. Take home pay was just about the same as my Navy job. But, since none of it was tax-free living allowances, my income taxes went up by a bunch.

Then, 9/11 happened. And the aerospace industry took a breather. After getting laid off then recalled a couple of times, I figured the writing was on the wall and I'd never get enough seniority to move upstairs. So, I quit and went back to school full time. I'm doing a job now that pays great. But, I have no passion for it. I'm just punching a clock. I do my job well. But, my commute is over an hour each way. I work Fri/Sat/Sun (3 12s) so I don't have to deal with weekday traffic and parking. Most of all, I'd rather be doing something else.
 
Last edited:
You do realize that this isn't really your choice, don't you? What does the wife say?

What job do YOU want to do? Don't do work that you don't want to do. Money isn't important except when it's important for things like avgas and college.
 
Agree with Kenny, if you wait any longer to move it gets very traumatic for kids. Also agree with everyone 3 or 4 just with information given. But you have to consider benefits in addition to pay. Earn more and pack it away for retirement, when you get here you will be glad you did.

I don't know about the dynamics with the wife and her horses. It is a problem to be far from good doctors, dentists, shopping variety but if you are going to live in the sticks far from that the time to do it is when you're young.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top