Lets make Friday 'Joke Day'!

Discussion in 'Hangar Talk' started by Let'sgoflying!, Feb 9, 2007.

  1. denverpilot

    denverpilot Tied Down PoA Supporter

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  2. FormerHangie

    FormerHangie En-Route

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    Really, we do need a *groan* emoticon.
     
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  3. pmanton

    pmanton Cleared for Takeoff PoA Supporter

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  4. Briar Rabbit

    Briar Rabbit Line Up and Wait

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    A big shot attorney had to spend a couple of days in the hospital. He was a royal pain to the nurses because he bossed them around just like he did his staff. None of the hospital staff wanted to have anything to do with him. The head nurse was the only one who could stand up to him.

    She came into his room and announced, "I have to take your temperature."

    After complaining for several minutes, he finally settled down, crossed his arms and opened his mouth.

    "No, I'm sorry," the nurse stated, "but for this reading, I can't use an oral thermometer."

    This started another round of complaining but eventually he rolled over and bared his behind. After feeling the nurse insert the thermometer, he heard her announce, "I have to get something. Now you stay JUST LIKE THAT until I get back!"

    She left the door to his room open on her way out. He cursed under his breath as he heard people walking past his door, laughing.....

    After about 20 minutes, the man's doctor came into the room. "What's going on here?" asked the doctor.

    Angrily, the man answered, "What's the matter, Doc? Haven't you ever seen someone having their temperature taken?"

    After a pause, the doctor confessed..... "Not with a Daffodil."
     
  5. Lycosaurus

    Lycosaurus Cleared for Takeoff

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  6. Let'sgoflying!

    Let'sgoflying! Touchdown! Greaser! PoA Supporter

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    upload_2020-5-25_14-32-17.png
     

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    Last edited: May 25, 2020
  7. Bill Jennings

    Bill Jennings Touchdown! Greaser! PoA Supporter

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  8. Half Fast

    Half Fast Final Approach

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    You can say that again...
     
  9. Hawker800

    Hawker800 Line Up and Wait

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  10. Hawker800

    Hawker800 Line Up and Wait

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    [​IMG]
     
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  11. deonb

    deonb Pattern Altitude PoA Supporter

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    Squirrel Warrior Ninja:

     
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  12. denverpilot

    denverpilot Tied Down PoA Supporter

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  13. denverpilot

    denverpilot Tied Down PoA Supporter

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  14. denverpilot

    denverpilot Tied Down PoA Supporter

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  15. Matthew

    Matthew Touchdown! Greaser!

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  16. Hawker800

    Hawker800 Line Up and Wait

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  17. Lycosaurus

    Lycosaurus Cleared for Takeoff

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  18. Lycosaurus

    Lycosaurus Cleared for Takeoff

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    Ordering Pizza in 2020...

    CALLER:
    Is this Gordon's Pizza?


    GOOGLE:
    No sir, it's Google Pizza.

    CALLER:
    I must have dialed a wrong number. Sorry.

    GOOGLE:
    No sir, Google bought Gordon’s Pizza last month.


    CALLER:
    OK. I would like to order a pizza.

    GOOGLE:
    Do you want your usual, sir?

    CALLER:
    My usual? You know me?


    GOOGLE:
    According to our caller ID data sheet, the last 12 times you called you ordered an extra-large pizza with three cheeses, sausage, pepperoni, mushrooms and meatballs on a thick crust.


    CALLER:
    OK! That’s what I want ...

    GOOGLE:
    May I suggest that this time you order a pizza with ricotta, arugula, sun-dried tomatoes and olives on a whole wheat gluten-free thin crust?


    CALLER:
    What? I detest vegetable!

    GOOGLE:
    Your cholesterol is not good, sir.

    CALLER:
    How the hell do you know!

    GOOGLE:
    Well, we cross-referenced your home phone number with your medical records. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years.


    CALLER:
    Okay, but I do not want your rotten vegetable pizza! I already take medication for my cholesterol.


    GOOGLE:
    Excuse me sir, but you have not taken your medication regularly. According to our database, you purchased
    only a box of 30 cholesterol tablets once, at Drug RX Network, 4 months ago.

    CALLER:
    I bought more from another drugstore.

    GOOGLE:
    That doesn’t show on your credit card statement.

    CALLER:
    I paid in cash.

    GOOGLE:
    But you did not withdraw enough cash according to your bank statement.

    CALLER:
    I have other sources of cash.

    GOOGLE:
    That doesn’t show on your last tax return unless you bought them using an undeclared income source, which is against the law.


    CALLER:
    WHAT THE HELL!

    GOOGLE:
    I'm sorry, sir, we use such information only with the sole intention of helping you.

    CALLER:
    Enough already! I'm sick to death of Google, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and all the others. I'm going to an island without internet, cable TV, where there is no cell phone service and no one to watch me or spy on me.


    GOOGLE:
    I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport first. It expired 6 weeks ago...
     
  19. Lycosaurus

    Lycosaurus Cleared for Takeoff

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    22 Teddy Bears on Roller Coaster Ride
     
  20. Lycosaurus

    Lycosaurus Cleared for Takeoff

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    Meet Your Second Wife
     
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  21. Zeldman

    Zeldman Touchdown! Greaser!

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    It's refreshing to see folks use their smarts for evil instead of good....
     
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  22. Half Fast

    Half Fast Final Approach

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    FIFY
     
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  23. FORANE

    FORANE Pattern Altitude

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  24. Matthew

    Matthew Touchdown! Greaser!

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    I considered that trap, but a little too $$$ for me.

    I got the WCS tube trap instead.
     
  25. FORANE

    FORANE Pattern Altitude

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    I also have a WCS tube trap. Would like the A18, but don't think it is even available for purchase here in the US. Squirrels have chewed up multiple vehicles of ours, and even our house.
     
  26. denverpilot

    denverpilot Tied Down PoA Supporter

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  27. Lycosaurus

    Lycosaurus Cleared for Takeoff

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  28. Lycosaurus

    Lycosaurus Cleared for Takeoff

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  29. denverpilot

    denverpilot Tied Down PoA Supporter

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  30. MuseChaser

    MuseChaser Pattern Altitude

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    Man, I wish that was funny....
     
  31. Hawker800

    Hawker800 Line Up and Wait

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  32. Kansas Flyer

    Kansas Flyer Pre-takeoff checklist

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    Man if that was real it would take a ridiculous amount of grain carts and trucks to keep up while cutting corn :eek:
     
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  33. CarlH

    CarlH Filing Flight Plan

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    Not for cutting corn, for cutting milo, which is used for livestock feed.
     
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  34. Flocker

    Flocker Pre-takeoff checklist

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  35. Lycosaurus

    Lycosaurus Cleared for Takeoff

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    do-me-a-favor-i-couldnt-think-of-anything-29347363.png
     
    Last edited: Jun 6, 2020
    deonb and Let'sgoflying! like this.
  36. Bob Noel

    Bob Noel Touchdown! Greaser!

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    From a parent: Our 4th grader celebrated his birthday on crutches, so he
    couldn’t carry the cupcakes into school without help. I asked our 6th
    grader, Noah, to help him carry them in.

    "I could," he said, "but I’d prefer not to."

    Spotting a teaching moment, my husband asked Noah “What would Jesus do?”
    Noah answered “Jesus would heal him so he can carry his own cupcakes.”
     
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  37. Lycosaurus

    Lycosaurus Cleared for Takeoff

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  38. Let'sgoflying!

    Let'sgoflying! Touchdown! Greaser! PoA Supporter

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  39. Let'sgoflying!

    Let'sgoflying! Touchdown! Greaser! PoA Supporter

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  40. Let'sgoflying!

    Let'sgoflying! Touchdown! Greaser! PoA Supporter

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