Lets make Friday 'Joke Day'!

Discussion in 'Hangar Talk' started by Let'sgoflying!, Feb 9, 2007.

  1. AggieMike88

    AggieMike88 Touchdown! Greaser!

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    The original "I don't know it all" of aviation.
  2. deonb

    deonb Pattern Altitude PoA Supporter

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  3. wayne

    wayne Cleared for Takeoff

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  4. DutchRoller

    DutchRoller Ejection Handle Pulled

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    Thunderbolt and Lightning.


    I figaro that someone had to make it more obvious to the folks who aren’t Queen fans.
     
    Last edited: Feb 6, 2019
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  5. Bill Jennings

    Bill Jennings Touchdown! Greaser! PoA Supporter

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    Better yet, followed by Galileo LOL...
     
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  6. Pilawt

    Pilawt Final Approach PoA Supporter

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    1115britains-queen-elizabeth-arrives-newtongrange-railway-station-scotland.jpg

    I still don't get it. :p
     
  7. Matthew

    Matthew Touchdown! Greaser!

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    and then...

    [​IMG]
     
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  8. eman1200

    eman1200 Touchdown! Greaser! PoA Supporter

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  9. Matthew

    Matthew Touchdown! Greaser!

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    [​IMG]
     
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  10. Matthew

    Matthew Touchdown! Greaser!

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  11. deonb

    deonb Pattern Altitude PoA Supporter

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  12. Cap'n Jack

    Cap'n Jack Final Approach

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    NY Post classic headline
    08Swisher-superJumbo.jpg
     
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  13. BigBadLou

    BigBadLou Final Approach

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    Thanks, i figured out the planes but had no idea why the funniless caption. Without your reference to the not-so-popular band, I would have been scratching my head still now. :)
     
  14. DutchRoller

    DutchRoller Ejection Handle Pulled

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    I thought the caption was hilarious.

    And I trust that you are joking about Queen not being popular.
     
  15. Matthew

    Matthew Touchdown! Greaser!

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  16. upstateny

    upstateny Line Up and Wait

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    Now in SW Florida
    Claire wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed, but she really needed a job, so she applied at the toy factory that made the "Tickle Me Elmo" dolls. She did well enough at the interview that manager said that he had the perfect job for her and she should report for work the next day at 8am.
    The next morning, she took her position on the assembly line at the Quality Control station where she was to inspect each doll before putting it into its box.
    Barely an hour goes by when the alarm bells start going off and the line grinds to a halt. The manager comes out of his office and runs down the line looking for the bottleneck. At the end of the line is a huge pile of dolls at the QC station and there he finds his new hire sewing two tiny pom poms into the crotch of each doll. Immediately he realizes it's entirely his fault. After all, he did tell her to give each doll two test tickles.
     
    Last edited: Feb 11, 2019
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  17. deonb

    deonb Pattern Altitude PoA Supporter

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  18. Half Fast

    Half Fast En-Route

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  19. Tom-D

    Tom-D Taxi to Parking PoA Supporter

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    My kid ate all the scrabble tiles, now his sh-t makes more sense than AOC.
     
  20. rpadula

    rpadula En-Route

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    If smoking marijuana causes short term memory loss, what does smoking marijuana cause?
     
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  21. JOhnH

    JOhnH Touchdown! Greaser! PoA Supporter

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    Ooooh. Best post you've ever made.

    But I've been banned for less.
     
  22. 1RTK1

    1RTK1 Cleared for Takeoff

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    True
     
  23. 1RTK1

    1RTK1 Cleared for Takeoff

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    Doctor says to the patient: "You've got two serious problems going on. First, you have terminal cancer. Secondly, you have Alzheimer's"

    Patient "Well at least I don't have terminal cancer"
     
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  24. X3 Skier

    X3 Skier En-Route PoA Supporter

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    So I take a blonde friend to a football game and after the coin toss, she thinks the whole thing is stupid fighting about 25¢. I say “What?”

    She says “Well after one team won the coin, everybody says ‘Get the Quarter Back!!!!”

    Cheers
     
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  25. hawk25u

    hawk25u Pre-takeoff checklist

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  26. Matthew

    Matthew Touchdown! Greaser!

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    Instead of a pizzing contest over a joke, we need more jokes about pizzing contests.

    Two guys are having a couple beers, one guys says, "I'm not too keen on that Anderson kid. The other day he pizzed his name in the snow under my daughter's window."

    Other guy says, "What's wrong with that?"

    First guy says, "It was my daughter's handwriting."
     
  27. DutchRoller

    DutchRoller Ejection Handle Pulled

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    To which the other guy said “yeah my daughter said he had a pencil dick”.
     
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  28. Kansas Flyer

    Kansas Flyer Pre-takeoff checklist

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    Since its Valentines Day
    [​IMG]
     
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  29. Cap'n Jack

    Cap'n Jack Final Approach

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    Two men walk into a bar, one wearing a cowboy hat and the other wearing a Yankees cap. The guy in the Yankees cap approaches the bartender and make a bet: "I'll bet you $1,000 that I can put a shot glass at one end of your bar and **** into it from the other end of the bar without spilling a drop."

    The bartender laughs and says, "You're crazy, but you're on."

    The man positions a shot glass on one end, walks to the other end and unzips his fly. He then ****es everywhere -- all over the walls, over the bar top, all over the bottles of booze, and all over the bartender. The bartender roars with laughter and tells the man to pay up.

    The guy in the Yankees cap pays up, laughing and smiling, too.

    "What are you smiling at?" asks the bartender. "You just lost $1,000!"

    "Well, you see that guy in the cowboy hat over there crying? Before we came in, I bet him $10,000 that I could **** all over your bar, your walls, your liquor AND you, and not only would you not be mad -- you would laugh hysterically about it!"
     
  30. Matthew

    Matthew Touchdown! Greaser!

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    Last edited: Feb 15, 2019
  31. Zeldman

    Zeldman Touchdown! Greaser!

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    It was the grand opening for a business that had moved to a larger space. When one of the clients sent flowers for the occasion, the business owner was surprised by the message on the accompanying card--- Rest in Peace.

    When the owner contacted the client to thank him, he mentioned the obvious mix up on the card. As soon as they hung up the client called the florist and vented his displeasure.

    After a moments silence, the florist said, ''You think you're angry. Imagine this. Somewhere there is a funeral today and they have a flower arrangement with a note saying 'Congratulations on your new location....' "
     
  32. Kansas Flyer

    Kansas Flyer Pre-takeoff checklist

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    Matthew likes this.
  33. Kansas Flyer

    Kansas Flyer Pre-takeoff checklist

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    One Monday morning a mailman is walking the neighborhood on his usual route. As he approaches one of the homes he noticed that both cars were in the driveway. His wonder was cut short by Bob, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer and liquor bottles. "Wow Bob, looks like you guys had one hell of a party last night." the mailman comments.

    Bob in obvious pain replies, "Actually we had it Saturday night. This is the first I have felt like moving since 4:00 am Sunday morning. We had about fifteen couples from around the neighborhood over for Christmas Cheer and it got a bit wild. Hell, we got so drunk around midnight that we started playing WHO AM I."

    The mailman thinks a moment and says, "How do you play that?"

    Well all the guys go in the bedroom and we come out one at a time with a sheet covering us and only our "privates" showing through a hole in the sheet. Then the women try to guess who it is."

    The mailman laughs and says, "Damn, I'm sorry I missed that."

    Probably a good thing you did," Bob responds. "Your name came up four or five times."
     
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  34. Kansas Flyer

    Kansas Flyer Pre-takeoff checklist

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    Male Logic

    Wife : Do you drink beer?
    Husband : Yes

    Wife : How many beers a day?
    Husband : Usually about three

    Wife : How much do you pay per beer?
    Husband : $5.00 which includes a tip

    Wife : And how long have you been drinking?
    Husband : About 20 years, I suppose

    Wife : So a beer costs $5 and you have three beers a day which puts your spending each month at $450. In one year, it would be approximately $5400 - correct?
    Husband : Correct

    Wife : If in 1 year you spend $5400, not accounting for inflation, the past 20 years puts your spending at $108,000 correct?
    Husband : Correct

    Wife : Do you know that if you didn’t drink so much beer, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 20 years, you could have now bought an airplane?

    Husband: Do you drink beer?
    Wife : No.
    Husband : Where is your airplane?
     
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  35. Gerhardt

    Gerhardt En-Route

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    I've got the chaser. What's the lead plane?
     
  36. eman1200

    eman1200 Touchdown! Greaser! PoA Supporter

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    think about the song lyrics......
     
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  37. Gerhardt

    Gerhardt En-Route

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    ahhh.

    I'd better knock on wood.
     
  38. deonb

    deonb Pattern Altitude PoA Supporter

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    Wrong song, but close! Think of something more “Bohemian”.
     
  39. GeorgeC

    GeorgeC En-Route PoA Supporter

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    1.jpg 2.jpg
     
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  40. eman1200

    eman1200 Touchdown! Greaser! PoA Supporter

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    I see what you did there, Gawgy!