Lets make Friday 'Joke Day'!

Discussion in 'Hangar Talk' started by Let'sgoflying!, Feb 9, 2007.

  1. Matthew

    Matthew Touchdown! Greaser!

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2005
    Messages:
    14,445
    Location:
    kojc, kixd, k34
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Matthew
    You give a man a plane ticket and he'll fly for a day. You can push a man out of an airplane and he'll fly for the rest of his life.
     
  2. bluesky74656

    bluesky74656 Line Up and Wait

    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2005
    Messages:
    622
    Location:
    Brecksville, OH
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Todd Kooser
    That’s not flying. That’s falling with style.
     
    Half Fast and Matthew like this.
  3. Half Fast

    Half Fast En-Route

    Joined:
    May 7, 2016
    Messages:
    3,070
    Location:
    Central Florida
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Half Fast

    If you build a man a fire, he'll be warm for just one night. But if you set a man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
     
    MIFlyer likes this.
  4. Ryanb

    Ryanb Final Approach PoA Supporter

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2010
    Messages:
    8,276
    Location:
    Tennessee
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Ryan
  5. Zeldman

    Zeldman Final Approach

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2014
    Messages:
    9,967
    Location:
    NM or the emergency room...
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Billy
    A Sunday school teacher was telling a class of 4 year olds about Jesus, Joseph and Mary. After the lesson the kids were asked to draw a picture depicting their favorite part of the story. The teacher received pictures of the baby Jesus in the manger surrounded by animals, pictures of the three wise men and the like.

    One drawing puzzled her. It was a picture of an airplane with four people in it. She called the artist up to explain the picture. He pointed out Mary, Joseph and the baby Jesus, and said this was their ''flight'' to Egypt. The teacher then asked about the other man in the plane.

    "Oh, that's Pontius, the pilot...."
     
    Half Fast likes this.
  6. Ryanb

    Ryanb Final Approach PoA Supporter

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2010
    Messages:
    8,276
    Location:
    Tennessee
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Ryan
  7. Half Fast

    Half Fast En-Route

    Joined:
    May 7, 2016
    Messages:
    3,070
    Location:
    Central Florida
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Half Fast
    upload_2018-12-24_15-31-15.png
     
    deonb likes this.
  8. Cap'n Jack

    Cap'n Jack Final Approach

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2006
    Messages:
    5,965
    Location:
    Nebraska
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Cap'n Jack
    It occurs to me that some of you may not know what an Aussie Kiss is. It's like a French Kiss except you do it Down Under.
     
    Ryanb likes this.
  9. Hawker800

    Hawker800 Line Up and Wait

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2013
    Messages:
    657
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Daniel
  10. Pilawt

    Pilawt Final Approach

    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2005
    Messages:
    6,639
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Pilawt
    upload_2018-12-25_13-52-7.jpeg
     
    Zeldman likes this.
  11. hawk25u

    hawk25u Pre-takeoff checklist

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2016
    Messages:
    112
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Jim
    A farmer named Clyde had a tractor accident. In court, the trucking company's fancy hot shot lawyer, was questioning Clyde. "Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine,'?" asked the lawyer.

    Clyde responded, "Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite cow, Bessie, into the..."

    "I didn't ask for any details", the lawyer interrupted. "Just answer the question, ...please. Did you, or did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'?"

    Clyde said, "Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer behind the tractor and I was driving down the road...."

    The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Your Honor, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question."

    By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Clyde's answer and said to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favorite cow, Bessie".

    Clyde thanked the Judge and proceeded. "Well, as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite cow, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my John Deer Tractor right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting, real bad and didn't want to move. However, I could hear old Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans.

    Shortly after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning, so he went over to her. After he looked at her, and saw her fatal condition, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes. Then the Patrolman came across the road, gun still in hand, looked at me, and said, "How are you feeling?"

    "Now tell me, what the heck would you say?"
     
    Eric Stoltz, 1RTK1 and Zeldman like this.
  12. deonb

    deonb Pattern Altitude

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2015
    Messages:
    1,893
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    deonb
    upload_2019-1-4_13-30-48.png
     
    wayne likes this.
  13. flyingcheesehead

    flyingcheesehead Touchdown! Greaser!

    Joined:
    Feb 23, 2005
    Messages:
    20,961
    Location:
    UQACY, WI
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    iMooniac
  14. Half Fast

    Half Fast En-Route

    Joined:
    May 7, 2016
    Messages:
    3,070
    Location:
    Central Florida
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Half Fast
    First it was stealing silverware, china, and paintings from the White House.

    Now, somewhere in America, a Motel 6 is missing a shower curtain.



    upload_2019-1-6_17-7-12.png
     
  15. Ryanb

    Ryanb Final Approach PoA Supporter

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2010
    Messages:
    8,276
    Location:
    Tennessee
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Ryan
    The sad thing is. That ‘gown’ or whatever you want to call it, is probably thousands of dollars.

    <sigh>
     
    Hawker800 likes this.
  16. Half Fast

    Half Fast En-Route

    Joined:
    May 7, 2016
    Messages:
    3,070
    Location:
    Central Florida
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Half Fast

    If true, some fashion designer must be laughing his a$$ off about it.
     
    Brad Smith likes this.
  17. Hawker800

    Hawker800 Line Up and Wait

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2013
    Messages:
    657
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Daniel
    [​IMG]
     
    Pilawt likes this.
  18. Hawker800

    Hawker800 Line Up and Wait

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2013
    Messages:
    657
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Daniel
  19. Let'sgoflying!

    Let'sgoflying! Touchdown! Greaser! PoA Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 23, 2005
    Messages:
    16,154
    Location:
    west Texas
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Dave Taylor
    ahaha "a crack team of engineers went over the aircraft..."
     
    Zeldman likes this.
  20. AggieMike88

    AggieMike88 Touchdown! Greaser!

    Joined:
    Jan 13, 2010
    Messages:
    15,954
    Location:
    Denton, TX
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    The original "I don't know it all" of aviation.
  21. Hawker800

    Hawker800 Line Up and Wait

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2013
    Messages:
    657
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Daniel
  22. Let'sgoflying!

    Let'sgoflying! Touchdown! Greaser! PoA Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 23, 2005
    Messages:
    16,154
    Location:
    west Texas
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Dave Taylor