Lets make Friday 'Joke Day'!

Discussion in 'Hangar Talk' started by Let'sgoflying!, Feb 9, 2007.

  1. Ryanb

    Ryanb Final Approach PoA Supporter

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2010
    Messages:
    9,303
    Location:
    Tennessee
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Ryan
    And now....

    Drum roll please..................






    The 5000th reply!

    *ba dum tsssss*
     
  2. Zeldman

    Zeldman Touchdown! Greaser!

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2014
    Messages:
    10,719
    Location:
    NM or the emergency room...
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Billy

    Anyone call the number.??
     
    TRocket likes this.
  3. Ryanb

    Ryanb Final Approach PoA Supporter

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2010
    Messages:
    9,303
    Location:
    Tennessee
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Ryan
  4. IK04

    IK04 Line Up and Wait

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2018
    Messages:
    793
    Location:
    Copperas Cove, Texas
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    LNXGUY
    A man decides to give his wife a break and do the the laundry.

    He begins to load the clothes and realizes he is in over his head. All the settings on the washer confuse him and he is forced to ask for help.

    "Honey, what setting do I use for my sweatshirt?" He cries out in desperation.

    "What does it say on your shirt?"

    "University of Texas!"
     
  5. flyingcheesehead

    flyingcheesehead Touchdown! Greaser!

    Joined:
    Feb 23, 2005
    Messages:
    22,259
    Location:
    UQACY, WI
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    iMooniac
    Dang. There's so much smoke in that exhaust that I didn't even notice the second plane the first time I saw the image! :eek:
     
  6. upstateny

    upstateny Line Up and Wait

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2011
    Messages:
    683
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Now in SW Florida
     
    Zeldman likes this.
  7. gkainz

    gkainz Final Approach

    Joined:
    Feb 23, 2005
    Messages:
    7,843
    Location:
    Arvada, CO
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Greg Kainz
    missed it by "..." that much.
     

    Attached Files:

    Eric Stoltz likes this.
  8. Dana

    Dana Line Up and Wait

    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2016
    Messages:
    810
    Location:
    CT & NY
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Dana
    It's post #5001, but it's the 5000th reply.
     
    Eric Stoltz and Ryanb like this.
  9. Ryanb

    Ryanb Final Approach PoA Supporter

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2010
    Messages:
    9,303
    Location:
    Tennessee
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Ryan
    :yeahthat:

    @gkainz - the first post doesn’t count as a reply, even though it’s a post.
     
  10. gkainz

    gkainz Final Approach

    Joined:
    Feb 23, 2005
    Messages:
    7,843
    Location:
    Arvada, CO
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Greg Kainz
    oh come on ... lighten up! This IS a JOKE thread after all. It made you chuckle just a little, didn't it? :D
     
    Bill Jennings and Ryanb like this.
  11. jsstevens

    jsstevens En-Route PoA Supporter

    Joined:
    May 18, 2007
    Messages:
    4,708
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    jsstevens
    I hear Don Adams voice in my head just reading that.
     
  12. Ryanb

    Ryanb Final Approach PoA Supporter

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2010
    Messages:
    9,303
    Location:
    Tennessee
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Ryan
  13. deonb

    deonb Pattern Altitude PoA Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2015
    Messages:
    1,971
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    deonb
    Two men dressed in pilots' uniforms walk up the aisle of the aircraft.
    Both are wearing dark glasses.
    One is using a guide dog, and the other is tapping his way along the aisle with a cane.
    Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin.
    But the men enter the cockpit the door closes, and the engines start up.
    The passengers begin glancing nervously around, searching for some kind of a sign that this is just a little practical joke.
    None is forthcoming.
    The plane moves faster and faster down the runway, and the people sitting in the window seats realize they're headed straight for the water at the edge of the airport property.
    Just as it begins to look as though the plane will plow straight into the water, panicked screams fill the cabin.
    At that moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air.
    The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly, and soon all retreat into their magazines and books, secure in the knowledge that the plane is in good hands.
    Meanwhile, in the cockpit,
    one of the blind pilots turns to the other and says, 'You know, Bob, one of these days, they're gonna scream too late and we're all gonna die!'
     
  14. Ryanb

    Ryanb Final Approach PoA Supporter

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2010
    Messages:
    9,303
    Location:
    Tennessee
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Ryan
  15. Tom-D

    Tom-D Taxi to Parking PoA Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 23, 2005
    Messages:
    31,658
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Tom-D
    Were they at Jacksonville Yesterday?
     
  16. upstateny

    upstateny Line Up and Wait

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2011
    Messages:
    683
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Now in SW Florida
    Most people know a "New York Minute' is a short period of time. Example: The time between the light turning green and the guy behind you honking his horn.

    Now there's also a "Florida Minute." It's the extremely short time between the start of a conversation and when it turns to medical issues you're having.

    Florida - Heaven's Waiting Room
     
    Eric Stoltz likes this.
  17. Hawker800

    Hawker800 Line Up and Wait

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2013
    Messages:
    696
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Daniel
  18. timwinters

    timwinters Touchdown! Greaser! PoA Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 23, 2008
    Messages:
    12,938
    Location:
    Conway, MO
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    LTD
    A Monday morning funny:

    I thought this might put a smile on a few faces this morning.

    An article from one of the "wannabe journalism sites" (Engadget) came across my newsfeed yesterday evening. It was written by their SENIOR editor. The headline: "After Math: Goodbye, Grumpy Cat"

    It was almost worth creating an Engadget account so I could comment "Before English: writing articles for Engadget."

    And this coming from a guy who often jokes "English is my second language, too bad I don't have a first."

    ;-)

    Have a good day!
     
    Ryanb and Pilawt like this.
  19. MIFlyer

    MIFlyer Line Up and Wait PoA Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2015
    Messages:
    872
    Location:
    Mercer Island, WA
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    MIFlyer
    Ordered one!!



    Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
     
    Hawker800 likes this.
  20. Cap'n Jack

    Cap'n Jack Final Approach

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2006
    Messages:
    6,403
    Location:
    Nebraska
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Cap'n Jack
    A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a $20 bill fell out onto the sidewalk.

    Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, "Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of that bag.”

    "Oh, really? Darn it!” said the little old lady. "I'd better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me, Officer.”

    "Well now, not so fast," said the cop. "Where did you get all that money? You didn't steal it, did you?”

    "Oh, no, no", said the old lady. "You see, my back yard is right next to a golf course. A lot of golfers come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right into my flower garden. It used to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, 'why not make the best of it?' So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers. Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, 'O.K., buddy! Give me $20 or off it comes!’

    "Well, that seems only fair," said the cop, laughing. "OK. Good luck! Oh by the way, what’s in the other bag?"

    "Not everybody pays."
     
    IK04, Hawker800 and Eric Stoltz like this.
  21. Let'sgoflying!

    Let'sgoflying! Touchdown! Greaser! PoA Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 23, 2005
    Messages:
    16,630
    Location:
    west Texas
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Dave Taylor
  22. Let'sgoflying!

    Let'sgoflying! Touchdown! Greaser! PoA Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 23, 2005
    Messages:
    16,630
    Location:
    west Texas
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Dave Taylor
    omg, someone stop me from posting this on my business fb page.

    Resurcher.png
     
  23. Pilawt

    Pilawt Final Approach PoA Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2005
    Messages:
    7,065
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Pilawt
    funniecontrolfreaks.jpg
     
    Ryanb likes this.
  24. Matthew

    Matthew Touchdown! Greaser!

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2005
    Messages:
    15,058
    Location:
    kojc, kixd, k34
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Matthew
    Sending to my daughter, the HS English teacher. She had a first a few weeks ago. Someone turned in a speech-to-text transcript of a YouTube video for one of their final essays.
     
    Let'sgoflying! likes this.
  25. Hawker800

    Hawker800 Line Up and Wait

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2013
    Messages:
    696
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Daniel
  26. Let'sgoflying!

    Let'sgoflying! Touchdown! Greaser! PoA Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 23, 2005
    Messages:
    16,630
    Location:
    west Texas
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Dave Taylor
    Unverified sources say this was a French cat, in Luxembourg



     
  27. Let'sgoflying!

    Let'sgoflying! Touchdown! Greaser! PoA Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 23, 2005
    Messages:
    16,630
    Location:
    west Texas
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Dave Taylor
  28. Hawker800

    Hawker800 Line Up and Wait

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2013
    Messages:
    696
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Daniel
  29. Matthew

    Matthew Touchdown! Greaser!

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2005
    Messages:
    15,058
    Location:
    kojc, kixd, k34
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Matthew
    I think this one is called the "Joe Biden"

    [​IMG]
     
    Cap'n Jack likes this.
  30. deonb

    deonb Pattern Altitude PoA Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2015
    Messages:
    1,971
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    deonb
    upload_2019-5-29_15-1-45.png
     
    Zeldman and Matthew like this.
  31. Ryanb

    Ryanb Final Approach PoA Supporter

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2010
    Messages:
    9,303
    Location:
    Tennessee
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Ryan
    When you get onboard an airliner and want to subtly announce to everyone that you’re a pilot.

    Bonus points to anyone who can spot the subliminal message in this picture.

    E1F7912A-9081-4CF7-9C52-0FE75728C523.jpeg
     
    N747JB likes this.
  32. Timbeck2

    Timbeck2 Final Approach

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2015
    Messages:
    6,037
    Location:
    Vail, Arizona
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Timbeck2
    … Penis

    Took 1 second
     
    Ryanb likes this.
  33. Let'sgoflying!

    Let'sgoflying! Touchdown! Greaser! PoA Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 23, 2005
    Messages:
    16,630
    Location:
    west Texas
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Dave Taylor
    I thought the black logo was for mechanic?
     
  34. Eric Stoltz

    Eric Stoltz Line Up and Wait

    Joined:
    Apr 27, 2017
    Messages:
    657
    Location:
    PALH
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    ES
    When did they start making them plastic?
     
    Zeldman likes this.
  35. Half Fast

    Half Fast En-Route

    Joined:
    May 7, 2016
    Messages:
    3,392
    Location:
    Central Florida
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Half Fast

    Just after the premiere of The Graduate.
     
    bflynn, Eric Stoltz and Zeldman like this.
  36. Bill Jennings

    Bill Jennings Touchdown! Greaser! PoA Supporter

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2005
    Messages:
    10,346
    Location:
    Southeast Tennessee
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    This page intentionally left blank
    Must be using the wrong hole!
     
  37. AggieMike88

    AggieMike88 Touchdown! Greaser!

    Joined:
    Jan 13, 2010
    Messages:
    16,663
    Location:
    Denton, TX
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    The original "I don't know it all" of aviation.
  38. Let'sgoflying!

    Let'sgoflying! Touchdown! Greaser! PoA Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 23, 2005
    Messages:
    16,630
    Location:
    west Texas
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Dave Taylor
    THESE ARE ACTUAL COMPLAINTS RECEIVED BY "THOMAS COOK VACATIONS" FROM DISSATISFIED CUSTOMERS:

    1. "They should not allow topless sunbathing on the beach. It was very distracting for my husband who just wanted to relax."

    2. "On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food."

    3. "We went on holiday to Spain and had a problem with the taxi drivers as they were all Spanish."

    4. "We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our own swimsuits and towels. We assumed it would be included in the price."

    5. "The beach was too sandy. We had to clean everything when we returned to our room."

    6. "We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as white but it was more yellow."

    7. "It's lazy of the local shopkeepers in Puerto Vallartato close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during 'siesta' time -- this should be banned."

    8. "No-one told us there would be fish in the water. The children were scared."

    9. "Although the brochure said that there was a fully equipped kitchen, there was no egg-slicer in the drawers."

    10. "I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local convenience store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts."

    11. "The roads were uneven and bumpy, so we could not read the local guide book during the bus ride to the resort. Because of this, we were unaware of many things that would have made our holiday more fun."

    12. "It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England. It took the Americans only three hours to get home. This seems unfair."

    13. "I compared the size of our one-bedroom suite to our friends' three-bedroom and ours was significantly smaller."

    14. "The brochure stated: 'No hairdressers at the resort.' We're trainee hairdressers and we think they knew and made us wait longer for service."

    15. "When we were in Spain, there were too many Spanish people there. The receptionist spoke Spanish, the food was Spanish. No one told us that there would be so many foreigners."

    16. "We had to line up outside to catch the boat and there was no air-conditioning."

    17. "It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel."

    18. "I was bitten by a mosquito. The brochure did not mention mosquitoes."

    19. "My fiancée and I requested twin-beds when we booked, but instead we were placed in a room with a king bed. We now hold you responsible and want to be re-reimbursed for the fact that I became pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked."

    Source: Peter Dickinson
     
    Eric Stoltz likes this.
  39. 1RTK1

    1RTK1 Cleared for Takeoff

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2014
    Messages:
    1,100
    Location:
    Central Left Coast
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Ralph
    Guy gets his haircut at a barbershop that has three barbers. Every time he goes in for a haircut, the other barbers, take off and say they are going to lunch. This happens every time he gets a haircut regardless of which barber is cutting his hair. The guy thinks it's odd because he gets his haircut at different times during the day and why would two barbers always leave together? So he asks his friend to follow him to the barbershop and wait in his car outside. When the barbers leave, he asks his friend to follow them and see where they go. His buddy does that and the guy says "Well, where did they go?" His buddy replies "Your house!"
     
    N747JB likes this.
  40. Matthew

    Matthew Touchdown! Greaser!

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2005
    Messages:
    15,058
    Location:
    kojc, kixd, k34
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Matthew
    Not a joke, this is real:

    Dodge City, KS may have all the amenities as any other US city, but it has one that few others may have, a scenic overlook of a feedlot.

    Feedlots in that part of the world are pretty easy to find. You go until you smell it, then turn until you step in it.

    But a “scenic overlook” took some originality.

    Here’s one of the TripAdvisor top reviews

    >>>
    Creme de la Creme of Cattle Overlooks!

    Believe me, this is by far and away the best cattle overlook I have ever seen in my life and I've seen them ALL, from the huge holding lots of Omaha, down to Fort Worth, from Fresno to Calgary, and all points in between. If methane clouds and atmosphere thick with particulate are your thing, this is YOUR place: a steak lover's dream and what must be the single largest source of bovine flatulence west of the Mississippi! Don't miss it, you'll regret it the rest of your days.

    <<<