Take the family in the car? screeeeech BAM!
Public transportation? Muggings, robbery, rape, murder.
Got gas service to your house? BOOM!
Kids in school? Diseases, bullying, assorted vermin.
Take the family to the doctor? Doctors kill more people than guns.
Nothing in this life is safe.
Honestly, if you're afraid to take people up in your plane, maybe YOU shouldn't be up in the plane. I'm not a shrink, but it sounds like transference.
It's not a condemnation, it's an observation.
Everything you said is true; but some of those are harder to avoid than others. Like gas going to my house, yes I could try to avoid that, but realistically it's all around me, even if my house stopped getting it. School, gotta do it, not ready to homeschool... doctor, gotta do it.
Flying? Easily avoidable, just like taking the kids on a motorcycle. If I really wanted to, I could take the kids riding on a motorcycle every day, and odds are nothing will happen to us. Why am I so scared? I have never crashed a street bike on the street, I'm at 0% crashes (I have crashed at race tracks, just for the record). Oh crap, yes I did, when I was 14 years old, no license, lost control, had no idea what I was doing. I should say, since obtaining legal status to ride a motorcycle, no street crashes.
So I think it's about exposure to things one wouldn't realistically have to expose their kids to. Flying a plane is risky, yes, like lots of things; but I don't have to expose my kids to that risk, and I suffer no hardships to avoid this risk.
Just like motorcycles, more risky than cars, but we could argue that I should just go hide my head instead of trying to avoid taking my kids on motorcycle rides. Some people will say that it's just not worth the risk of exposing their kid(s) to danger that could easily be avoided. Both are right.
So I feel like nobody needs a shrink (well, maybe some do, but that's neither here nor there); if a guy chooses to not expose his kids to realistically unnecessary risk, let that guy be happy in his decision, it hurts nobody else. Just like a guy who is competent and confident, let him be happy in his decision as well. We can all look at past incidents (family members dead, and family members alive) and make our own decisions.