Contacting current (female) owner of my former airplane - wanting to avoid any perception of "cyberstalking"

You could show up at the airport one day and when the plane comes in walk out and say, "hey I used to own that! Who owns it now?"
 
RussR said:
Thanks for the experiment with your wife. Are you implying that she thought it would be fine UNTIL you revealed it was a young woman?
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She thought it was weird to begin with, but especially so when I added it was a young woman.

There's stuff men don't even think of that present a potential fear point for women.
 
I had reached out to a woman once, asking if she was interested in selling her plane, as I had noted it had been sitting for well over a year. My introduction included a statement that my wish was not to invade her privacy but more so an inquiry.

She responded with a nice note that she was not currently looking to sell but would keep my information should she change her mind.
 
SkyChaser said:
To be perfectly honest, getting a social media message would be creepier to me.
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It may not make a difference, but one advantage with social media you can look them up too. The signs of a scam or phishing or a predator are pretty obvious. Either that or there are literally dozens of incredibly hot nubile women with no other friends who find this particular 72 year old very attractive :D
 
Send the letter. If she thinks it’s weird, who GAF (assuming the letter itself isn’t weird). If she replies, cool.
 
I think you're way overthinking this. I mean. It is 2024 and people are offended by anything. Write what you'd write if it was a dude. Worst case scenario, nothing happens.
 
SkyChaser said:
To be perfectly honest, getting a social media message would be creepier to me. Maybe it is because I try to keep all accounts with my real name private and limited. Maybe it wouldn't bother a woman with a public account used to getting messages from strangers, though. My real name and address are matters of public record, so it wouldn't creep me out if someone sent me a letter. Going to all the effort of searching up any social media accounts I might have would feel a lot creepier and more "stalkerish" to me.
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Thank you, I was very much hoping you would post your opinion.
 
Daleandee said:
You could show up at the airport one day and when the plane comes in walk out and say, "hey I used to own that! Who owns it now?"
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Well, it’s something like 1000 miles away, so not very likely to “happen” to run across it.

midlifeflyer said:
She thought it was weird to begin with, but especially so when I added it was a young woman.

There's stuff men don't even think of that present a potential fear point for women.
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As I have realized in the last 20 years of being married and having a teenage daughter. That’s exactly why I posted here.

I’m a 6’2”, 200+ lb guy. So I am fortunate that I don’t generally have to worry too much about a lot of stuff that my wife and daughter tell me is actually a legitimate concern for them. Like walking down a dark road at night, that kind of thing.
 
Half Fast said:
Well, @2-Bit Speed stalked her for a while and it worked out okay.....
:biggrin:
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I think I stalked him worse than he stalked me, especially if you use today's measure of what counts as "stalking"! Did you know if you look up anyone on the internet, that's "stalker behavior"?! I internet search just about everyone, and as my dad is a bit of a genealogy nerd and taught me a lot of tricks, I might come out knowing more about the person and their family history than they do. :biggrin:

MauleSkinner said:
As I recall, you initiated the stalking….:oops:
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:rofl::rofl:
 
When you’re married or engaged, just talk to women as if they were a dude or a guy friend.
 
SkyChaser said:
.....I might come out knowing more about the person and their family history than they do.
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And with that in mind, you might want to keep whatever you've learned about the family of cutthroats, swindlers, horse thieves, bankers, and other n'er-do-wells that you've married into under your hat.
 
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RussR said:
As I have realized in the last 20 years of being married and having a teenage daughter. That’s exactly why I posted here.

I’m a 6’2”, 200+ lb guy. So I am fortunate that I don’t generally have to worry too much about a lot of stuff that my wife and daughter tell me is actually a legitimate concern for them. Like walking down a dark road at night, that kind of thing.
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In one of the orchestras I used to play in, one of my fellow bassoonists was an attractive lady who asked me to escort her to her car at night after each rehearsal. I felt honored to provide the service.
 
RussR said:
I owned an aircraft for 11 years, it was the first and only airplane I owned, so I have a certain emotional attachment to it. I sold it 9 years ago, and like many former owners I'm sure, I look it up every so often on flightaware to see how much it's flying, and where. I know it has been through several owners in several states over those years.

Recently I looked it up and it was actually in the air at the time, doing pattern work at an airport on the east coast. I wondered if that airport was on liveatc.net, and sure enough it was! So I got to listen to real-time radio calls, which was pretty neat. Even better, it sounded like a student pilot practicing. As a long-time CFI, I thought that was great and I'm glad "my" airplane was being used for that purpose (if I was right).

Interested, I went on the aircraft registry to get the owner's name, hoping maybe I could contact the current owner. Maybe on one of the social media sites. I'm kind of curious how it's doing, if it's had any upgrades, any current pictures of it, etc. From the FAA's airplane registry I got the owner's name and address, and from the airman registry verified that the owner was indeed a student pilot.

A search on social media didn't help any, I guess the name and its variants are a little too common.

So my option is to send the current owner a letter in the mail, given that I have the address from the aircraft registry. And I don't mind doing that.

But have I at some point crossed any lines of "cyber stalking"? After all, I was literally intentionally listening in to that exact person's transmissions online. However, all of my sources have been public databases. But, you know, I now have the owner's address, and therefore know where they live, which although businesses do this all the time, would it be seen as a little different for an individual?

There's one more detail I've left out - the current owner is a woman - and judging by the voice, perhaps fairly young (although obviously that's subjective and I could be way wrong). Women on here, does that change the equation at all? Would you be okay with someone going through what I did to find you and send you a letter, or would that cross the line into creepiness? In the letter I would put my contact information (social, email, phone) - would you be likely to respond?

I bet most people on here will say "of course contact her, it's no big deal", but I will admit, having a teenage daughter has made me much more aware of this kind of stuff than I would have been just a few years ago.
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What exactly is it you want to say to this lady? How is the airplane I sold doing? Hopefully whatever you send she tosses in the trash. You sold the plane nearly a decade ago. Get over it.
 
Racerx said:
I think you're way overthinking this. I mean. It is 2024 and people are offended by anything. Write what you'd write if it was a dude. Worst case scenario, nothing happens.
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Worst case scenario is the woman becomes a stalker
 
Bob Noel said:
Worst case scenario is the woman becomes a stalker
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If she wants to stalk the former owner of her plane, she's probably already got your name and address in a binder with the plane registration.
 
Clip4 said:
What exactly is it you want to say to this lady? How is the airplane I sold doing? Hopefully whatever you send she tosses in the trash. You sold the plane nearly a decade ago. Get over it.
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You've never reminisced about anything?
 
Using sites like Spokeo you can look up email addresses, phone numbers, relatives, etc. It’s a bit too,much big brother for me.
 
I got a FB message sight unseen from the second to last seller (partner to who sold the last share to the guy who eventually sold the airplane to me, though I met them both during the sale) a few months before the engine tried to come from together last year. That would have put his inquiry at around 10ish years since the sale.

Wanted to know if it was still flying etc. We had a nice catch up chat on there about the trips in the intervening years, we commiserated about how broken the fac built space is (many of his frustrations for his exit from the hobby were of course cost related, and he wanted to know how things were faring for me since 2020 wrt inflation). Which cemented his sentiment he didn't really miss it lol. We finished with some updates about his life (he had retired early and move to follow the frau to FL, who was still working as a nurse), I shared my wife had become one in the same specialty a few years back, and that was that. I never did care to FB him back about the airplane going down and sold months later, as I had emotionally moved on from that chapter of my flying life and didn't care to rehash the frustrations.

BL, I didn't find it weird at all, and had we been closer geographically I'd share the anectode with him over drinks and lunch no problem. I suppose with females that's generally problematic for personal safety concerns and what not. Such is life. But I don't see an issue asking about the airplane sight unseen over social media.
 
I got a call from the previous owner of my Cherokee Six.....he wanted to buy it back for what he sold it to me. I just laughed. ;)
 
My guess is one note is not a problem. More than one probably would be.
 
Buying an airplane from an estate sale is starting to look more and more attractive.
 
RussR said:
Well, it’s something like 1000 miles away, so not very likely to “happen” to run across it.
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I guess your next best option, if you want to continue, is to send a polite and well written short note (include some old photos - of the plane only) indicating that you are genuinely curious about the plane you used to own. You should also state that if she would rather not respond that you fully understand and that she will never hear from you anymore about it.

Sometimes I think the whole world is too paranoid ... but then again, just because we are paranoid it doesn't mean that everyone isn't out to get us! :rolleyes1:
 
It’s a sad world we have now, where people are worried about bye r stalking by following the life of a former airplane they owned.
 
TommyG said:
It’s a sad world we have now, where people are worried about bye r stalking by following the life of a former airplane they owned.
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It’s a sad world where we’ve made cases of stalking so common that we have to consider even innocent acts like writing a letter to share a planes history has to consider such permutations.
 
Clip4 said:
Sure, but I have never contacted the owner of an item I sold nearly a decade later to reminisce with them.
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Different temperaments. I sold a very fine guitar about 25 years ago, and periodically I hunt around online to see if I can find the buyer (it was via an eBay reseller). I'd love to know where that guitar is, who's playing it, how they like it. Some of us get attached to some of these things and like to know they are still well loved. If you don't think that's worthwhile, fine.
 
Some people are sentimental, some aren't. Best chance of a response is to send a short note, but include a couple of pictures of the airplane and a story about one of your flights. If she wants to hear stories about your flights and share hers, great. If not, should also be great. A single note from the person that owned the plane before isn't going to be considered stalking by any reasonable person in my view. If you don't hear back and press it? Then that would be a PITA to anyone, no matter who they are, so don't do that.

When I bought my house the current owners said that I'd probably hear from someone after the sale was completed, and I did. The first owner, who built the house, sent me a note and some pictures of the build. Very cool to have, but I haven't had any other contact with them.
 
RussR said:
Maybe a little more information about what I'm hoping to achieve.

The current owner's gender is irrelevant to why I want to contact them, but as discussed above, it seems relevant in 2024 for HOW I contact them for best chances of a response.

As previously mentioned, the previous owner to me would call me up every few years just to see what I was up to and how the plane was treating me. He had to get out of flying due to Parkinson's, and I actually enjoyed talking with him and telling him what I was up to.

When I sold the plane, the buyer's title search agent found an issue with the title from a previous sale back in the 1980's. Yes, the 80's! To resolve it, I had to contact that previous owner to get a couple of signatures, from him and his son. We actually had a really great talk, he remembered the plane and told me about some of the trips they went on. Super friendly guy.

Sometimes a plane is just a mechanical device. But knowing that we were talking about our experiences in the same plane from 30 years apart was pretty neat. I'd kind of like to continue that with whoever the current owner is.

Thank you @Ashara Keliyn , that is exactly the same kind of thing I'm talking about.
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Planes are special. They accrue history and they have more of a sentimental value than a lot other possessions. I mean hell, the logbooks alone are pretty amazing. I frequently read through some of the early entries and google the A&Ps names who worked on it, and somewhat predictably find that a few of the folks who worked on it in the 1970s are no longer with us (... I just get obit results for them in Google).

Getting in touch for sentimental reasons and to hear about the adventures the aircraft has been on isn't creepy IMHO. The fact that it's a woman who currently owns it wouldn't change my calculus much. You know you have positive intentions and they'll either respond or they won't. You're not going to get a restraining order mailed back to you :)

To improve the odds of hearing back maybe attach an old check-list you used for it or something, or include a photo of it from your days like Albany Tom suggests. Or a memorable story about flying w/your family or students. I'd also write on the front of the letter "from the original owner of N123AB!" or something. Lots of people my age and younger throw out physical mail unless it looks critical. Bonus points if you include a return envelope stamped if you're expecting a written response (it's getting pretty rare for younger people to keep envelopes and stamps on hand in my experience). Otherwise email is probably best.

And FWIW... The last owner of my plane had it for 30y with his dad, and since he sold it to me I've sent him an (unsolicited) update every year or so with a couple photos of scenic places the aircraft has been along with an hours update and any improvements/investments I've made in it. I thank him for taking care of the plane and let him know it's still going to good use. He seems to respond enthusiastically so I continue letting him know that the plane he and his pops owned and took care of for decades isn't rotting away on an anonymous ramp somewhere.
 
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