Blunders in the cockpit - share yours

BigBadLou

BigBadLou

Final Approach
Joined
Aug 6, 2014
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TX - the friendliest state
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Display name:
Lou
I think we all need a little more comedy/fun in our lives during these depressing days (called Monday-Friday, aka "work days") to get us through the unbearably long time when we cannot fly, longing for the weekend to arrive asap.

So why not share some funny blunders y'all made in the cockpit?

My most recent one was with a student pilot (not my student, just a pax) on a PnP mission with a pup in the back seat. It was a nice long X/C for the student to see how real-world flying works (outside of training in the traffic pattern). I was explaining to him how good radio work is important and how to properly check in with controllers etc when I was interrupted by the approach controller clearing me for visual approach rwy 17L and handing me off to tower. "Cleared visual 17L, going to tower, Compassion XYZ, see ya", I replied and after switching the frequency, verifying the numbers once flip-flopped and waiting a sec or two to make sure the freq was clear (all that while explaining that to the student), I keyed the mike and announced "Tower, good afternoon, Compassion XYZ, 10 north at 3,000". *facepalm*
 
What happens in the cockpit,stays in the cockpit,as for passenger stories,the old navy saying is those that tell tales from sea,never go to sea again.
 
Forgot to pack a pee container of any kind and had to pee about an hour out from my destination. I've never felt so much pain. I thought about peeing out of the storm window but couldn't do the gymnastics required to do so.
 
SixPapaCharlie said:
Forgot that things expand as we go up. Gave the flight controls to Mrs. 6PC, and opened the little salsa cup to give my burrito the required amount of pizzaz. I gave us all a salsa shower instead.
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Did that as a brand new PPL with a first time pax.. Opened a bottle of water purchased at sea level at about 10,500... Gave us both a shower
 
Ever had a kid tell you he has to pee NOW at 5000 feet?

I've had fun explaining to a CAP backseater why potato chips are a bad idea for high bird (radio relay) duty.
 
Timbeck2 said:
Forgot to pack a pee container of any kind and had to pee about an hour out from my destination. I've never felt so much pain. I thought about peeing out of the storm window but couldn't do the gymnastics required to do so.
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I peed in one of those portable urinals once with the ex wife in the plane. Bladder signaled it was empty, let go of the hose and doused myself. As she was laughing at me, she said i had the look on my face of a dog who peed on himself..
 
Had someone puke in their hat

Had someone fill up a ziplock with puke, big boy

Had someone puke out the window, no barf bag, didn't turn out half bad, dude cleaned the plane after we landed, I got lunch, I could smell he had BBQ and I totally forgot about that sweet BBQ joint.

Couple flat tires

Had to go missed a few times.

Dropped a pen
 
I took a friend up yesterday. He had never been in a small plane.
He was all about having some fun so we did some 0 g stuff and made various things "float" around the cockpit.
I had however forgotten until the first one that I had a cup of coffee in the cup holder by my feet.

I finished the flight with my legs covered in Starbucks finest.
 
I took a landing during my initial CAP Form 5, and the runway was so bad I was convinced I'd blown a tire. I wanted to get out and inspect them. My check pilot convinced me otherwise. We could see the two main gear, and the nosewheel steering worked normally, and once slowed to taxi speed, it wasn't so bad.

I think the pavement contractor was high. That's the worst pavement job I've ever seen.
 
One hot day I left my door & window open to circulate some air while parked outside. As I gained speed on the departure runway, suddenly a wasp flew up hit me in the chest, and fell on the seat between my legs. Oh SHIITE!

I quickly stuck something (anything!) between my legs, expecting some rather personal pain any instant, pulled throttle and kept the plane under control as I cleared the runway. I hopped out like I was on fire and found my new friend/enemy had been dispatched. The truth is it probably had perished in the sun and heat up against the windscreen, but I sure didn't know that when it blew back on me! Good aborted TO practice.
 
Had to pee in a coffee cup then empty it out of a piper window. That's complicated and dangerous.

Was told to contract departure, swapped channels on the radio, made my call and somehow I was talking to ground. Duh! I was using the wrong radio.

Passenger dropped a pen.
 
SixPapaCharlie said:
I took a friend up yesterday. He had never been in a small plane.
He was all about having some fun so we did some 0 g stuff and made various things "float" around the cockpit.
I had however forgotten until the first one that I had a cup of coffee in the cup holder by my feet.

I finished the flight with my legs covered in Starbucks finest.
Click to expand...
Had a a similar experience, only it was the contents of the pax stomach that came up.
 
Had an IA over to look at some work and sign off the 337. Took him back to his home field with one of the club's 172s. Shut down on his ramp and he hopped out. I discovered on takeoff that the pax seatbelt was hanging out of the door. This was before headsets were the norm and the loud banging noise, amplified by the handheld mic, made it hard for the tower controller to understand me. I aborted, and cleared the runway about mid-field. Other than my wounded pride, there was no apparent damage.
 
I took off at night flying home from Destin with a dog leash hanging out the door of the Conquest, my wife kept saying she heard a noise, I landed back to see what it was and the lineman said he noticed it when we taxied out!! :eek::eek: I wanted to strangle him for not saying something! Actually I wanted to strangle my wife who closed the door, he was would have been easier!:rolleyes:
 
Left master switch on. Can you spell jumper cables boys and girls. Wrong CTAF frequency. I was not saying nice things about that other guy in the pattern. I've never let a seat belt get caught in the door and slap the holy living sheet out of the fuselage. Really, I haven't. More than once. I promise.
 
Took off in a Stearman and hadn't fully screwed the oil cap in. Miraculously, the FBO managed to find the oil cap on the runway.
 
N747JB said:
... the lineman said he noticed it when we taxied out!! :eek::eek: I wanted to strangle him for not saying something!
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I had the opposite experience. Taxiing to the wash rack, a line guy was hollering and waviing at me franctically, yelling "pitot cover!!" I yelled back that I know and told him my destination. That didn't stop another line guy from calling me on radio to inform me of my mistake. I replied again what my destination was. Then they sent a third line guy in the FBO truck to tell me. He reached me as I was shutting down at the wash rack. Yet again, I had to explain why I left it on. Our line guys are very nice and very helpful.
 
Left my ipad beside the compass while I set the DG. Did ya'll know that the speakers in the ipad have magnets, who would of thought? Shortly after takeoff ATC gave me a vector for traffic, which I immediately complied with. Could not understand why the ATC guy was mad at me saying that I was going the wrong way. Did not realize my mistake until on the ground. The DG was 90 degrees out!
 
Cranking the engine over and over and wondering why it won't start. Skipped over the "fuel shutoff valve" on the checklist.
 
Ryanb said:
Cranking the engine over and over and wondering why it won't start. Skipped over the "fuel shutoff valve" on the checklist.
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Did the same thing on our helicopter years ago when I first started flying. "Pop! Pop! Pop!" Thought it was a compressor stall. Read the checklist again and still didn't visually confirm the switch. "Pop!..." Almost called to cancel the mission when I finally caught my mistake. Felt like an idiot at the time but have heard from others who made the same error.
 
Circling in a mountain pass in Canada to see if the snow in front of us was going to lay down. My passenger asked "why are you flying so close to the mountain on my side of the plane."
 
BigBadLou said:
guy was hollering and waving at me franctically, yelling "pitot cover!!"
Click to expand...

I had the same thing in Canada; had tied down then found out hangar was available so started to taxi over and Mr Airport Safety Guy jumped directly in front of the prop with the marshalling signals for stop and shut down.
I could see his concern but dang, another cycle.
 
Taxied to the fuel pumps at my home airport Flying Club on landing after a long, summer x-country. Shut everything down in the usual sequence except for the mag switches (for reasons I still can't explain). Hopped back into the airplane after topping the tanks to taxi back to my hangar, flipped all 4 mag switches to the opposite position (off) and could not understand why I couldn't get either engine started. Tried everything (with the notable exception of spraying cold water all over the hot engines ;) ) with throttles, mixtures and boost pumps to deal with the "hot engine start problem" with no success. Went to the hangar to get friend of mine who is the club mechanic. After "fixing problem" he was seen to be walking away muttering something about "pilots..."
 
Too many to name....

One notable that a friend of mine did.. the crossfeed switch is right next to the Oxygen switch in one of my old airplanes. He went to crossfeed, but instead he dropped the rubber jungle in the back.
 
I'm with the others that somehow missed the mistake in the OP. Sounds like a routine switch to Tower to me.
 
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