It's going to be easier to quote and agree than make my own list. LOL.
I dropped my pen once. Boy was that a disaster. I had to get my backup pen and everything.
This. Of course. And the iPad disappearing somewhere under the seat when it was dropped while trying to brief an approach under the hood.
Forgot that things expand as we go up. Gave the flight controls to Mrs. 6PC, and opened the little salsa cup to give my burrito the required amount of pizzaz. I gave us all a salsa shower instead.
Watched a guy open a Mio thingy to add to his water bottle in slow motion, knowing he was about to spray us all with concentrated red cherry flavored juice. Didn't say anything. Got sprayed. Helped clean up the airplane later.
Ever had a kid tell you he has to pee NOW at 5000 feet?
I've had fun explaining to a CAP backseater why potato chips are a bad idea for high bird (radio relay) duty.
Wife said that over Alamosa one day. Told Center we needed to land. They got all "terrorist watch" on me and wanted an explanation. Stupidly said "Bio-break". That got them even more suspicious. Karen is still mad that I finally blurted out, "My wife has to pee!" to every airplane on frequency for a couple hundred miles. Haha.
Had someone puke in their hat
Had someone fill up a ziplock with puke, big boy
Two pukers. One a good friend's girlfriend (now wife for 15 years) who was trying to show how tough she was. Didn't tell us she gets sick in cars nearly every road trip. Barfed in her sweatshirt on short final after she told me she didn't feel well and I diverted immediately to an airport. If I had asked for and accepted a tiny downwind landing, she'd have gotten it out the door onto the runway or taxiway. Oh well.
Second was a pilot buddy. He was self-grounded for a head cold and tummy decided it wasn't happy with being fed only his antibiotics and coffee that afternoon. He at least knew how the little blue airsickness bags work and got the real bag out and open and got every last bit of it into that thing. Airplane smelled like coffee and something that hinted of BBQ also, and I never figured out why.
Accidentally pushed a rudder pedal at 140 kts. Got my pilot friend's attention in a hurry.
Ooh! Haven't done that one yet, but that'd be sporty!
One hot day I left my door & window open to circulate some air while parked outside. As I gained speed on the departure runway, suddenly a wasp flew up hit me in the chest, and fell on the seat between my legs. Oh SHIITE!
Mine was still alive. He decided to land and stay over on the Pax side glareshield after I gently shooed him away trying not to make him mad. I landed and opened the Pax door and shooed him outside.
And I've also done a sundown departure out of Iowa City where the entire sky filled with thousands of mosquitos. My co-owner and I dove in the airplane with what I would describe as a "minimalist preflight" and started up fast and began taxiing. They were coming in by the dozens through the vents so we closed them and then proceeded to smash them all against the inside of the windshield for the entire taxi. Runup was nice and quick and we got the hell out of there.
Was told to contract departure, swapped channels on the radio, made my call and somehow I was talking to ground. Duh! I was using the wrong radio.
Did that two weeks ago during the charity event. Talking to the kids and their dad in the backseat. Explaining everything I'm doing and what's next. Finish speech about "now it's time to call the tower and get permission to fly! Is everyone ready?" (Yay! Ready... they say...) We go fly, land and I say, "Okay now we talk to ground again to get permission to go back to the hangar..." (yay! Great flight...)
"Ground, Kid Flight 79M is at (blah), taxi to Xjet..."
"You're on tower."
Pffffffftttttt all the air goes out of my Joe Cool balloon head. Hahaha.
Had an IA over to look at some work and sign off the 337. Took him back to his home field with one of the club's 172s. Shut down on his ramp and he hopped out. I discovered on takeoff that the pax seatbelt was hanging out of the door. This was before headsets were the norm and the loud banging noise, amplified by the handheld mic, made it hard for the tower controller to understand me. I aborted, and cleared the runway about mid-field. Other than my wounded pride, there was no apparent damage.
Didn't make it into the air quite but heard one banging during taxi. Also have done the slam, slam, slam... "why won't this f***ing door close?!" and then see the belt hanging down there. Argh...
I did all three laps on my first solo with the cargo door hanging open. No one noticed it, not my instructor, not Tower, and certainly not me. Nothing missing afterward. That's the aviation equivalent of leaving your fly open....
My co-owner likes to leave those unlocked. Says he's going to exit the aircraft someday in a crash through it or somesuch. (Personally if I found myself in the baggage compartment I think I will kick out the rear window myself. But I digress...) So that sets me up for leaving it wide open one fine day. Mostly glad the towbar didn't fall out in turbulence and bean someone or something. Or maybe more ironically, the first aid kit? LOL.
Took off in a Stearman and hadn't fully screwed the oil cap in. Miraculously, the FBO managed to find the oil cap on the runway.
Put the dipstick back in but didn't screw it tight. Realized what I had done as the nice new clean oil after the oil change started splattering on the windshield. Damn that makes a mess in the engine compartment. At least it was clean.
Very difficult to taxi over a nose wheel chock.
Started to add power and felt the airplane not move to start my Instrument ride. Managed to not go over it, shut down, and start over. DPE laughed at me. "Nervous?"
I cut the cheese once and blamed it on someone else. We were in a C150.
Initial CFI and I did that a few times. Probably one of the other reasons besides DA that we moved to a Skyhawk. Well that and our coziness was a bit much and his knees were in his face.
Cranking the engine over and over and wondering why it won't start. Skipped over the "fuel shutoff valve" on the checklist.
One Seminole flight we taxiied over to self serve. Filled up. Got in. Started cranking away and the thing wouldn't start. CFI says he will try and I'm cranking away and after about three attempts on each engine I sheepishly stop cranking and say, "I know why it won't start..." and made a big hand movement so he could see... and flipped the mags on. He started laughing. "That'll do it!"
Too many to name....
One notable that a friend of mine did.. the crossfeed switch is right next to the Oxygen switch in one of my old airplanes. He went to crossfeed, but instead he dropped the rubber jungle in the back.
Definitely haven't done that but that's funny as hell.
