Sac Arrow
Touchdown! Greaser!
- Joined
- May 11, 2010
- Messages
- 20,409
- Location
- Charlotte, NC
- Display Name
Display name:
Snorting his way across the USA
Okay so it went down like this right. It's like nine o' something clock, my gym bag is packed, I'm wearing my gym clothes, I'm dead freakin' tired, and all I need to do when I wake up in the morning at zero dark thirty is throw on my shoes, grab my gym bag, and head out the door. Well maybe pee first probably.
There is one final task to do before facing off with the nighty-night monster though - I need to shave. Yeah I like to have that stuff done all ahead of time so I don't have to deal with it in the morning.
Two days of beard stubble is about as much as my electric can handle, and I'm standing there with three, so it's blade time. I only use a blade maybe once a week because my face can't take repetitive blade scraping on a daily basis. So I wash my face with hot water, get all prepped, grab the can of shave cream, and......
It's out. Holy sheeot. I know I don't have any left in the house, but I make one last mad search to make sure that's the case. So, I'm faced (so to speak) with the following options:
1. Run to the store and buy a can of shaving cream. No, I'm really freakin' tired, I just want to drop. Like right now. Ain't happening. That's a minimum of a half hour loss of nighty-night to do that. Plus Mi Sun Li is waiting impatiently for me on the other side, and she's holding a whole platter of bacon and has cheeseburgers on the grill. (It's my fantasy, it doesn't have to be culinarily accurate.) Hmm, I think I invented a new word.
2. Show up to work looking like a werewolf. Or more accurately, a Don Johnson wannabe that doesn't look like Don Johnson but that is sporting that eighty's fad of semi beard growth, a partially buttoned white linen shirt, and a gold chain. But without the shirt and chain. Yeah, that could work. Staff will probably think I came off a three day Merle Haggard style drunk (which by the way would be fairly accurate) and leave me alone.
3. Dry shave. I don't even know why I listed that as an option.
4. Use the electric. I already wet my face and those things don't really work well unless your skin is bone dry. Or soaking wet with shave cream, but if you were going to do that why would you use an electric in the first place.
5. Now this is crazy talk I know, but it just might work. Probably not as well as the real thing, but I'll bet it gets the job done. What can I substitute for shave cream? Whipped cream? No, plus an ant problem on my face in the middle of the night would be detrimental. Dish soap? Maybe. Baby oil? Hell no, Sac Arrow ain't going Mr. Greasy Face.
I went with bar soap. The obvious solution. I wash my hands with it. I've taken showers with it. I've washed my ass with it. I've even washed my face with it. You know what? It worked! No issues whatsoever. It worked at least as good as shaving cream, except I didn't have a huge mound of foam threatening to engulf my head, nor did I have a trajectory of blue gel embed itself in the mirror after pressing the button too hard. Post cleanup was a snap. I would even go so far to say it was easier on the face.
I like it when I solve a dilemma.
There is one final task to do before facing off with the nighty-night monster though - I need to shave. Yeah I like to have that stuff done all ahead of time so I don't have to deal with it in the morning.
Two days of beard stubble is about as much as my electric can handle, and I'm standing there with three, so it's blade time. I only use a blade maybe once a week because my face can't take repetitive blade scraping on a daily basis. So I wash my face with hot water, get all prepped, grab the can of shave cream, and......
It's out. Holy sheeot. I know I don't have any left in the house, but I make one last mad search to make sure that's the case. So, I'm faced (so to speak) with the following options:
1. Run to the store and buy a can of shaving cream. No, I'm really freakin' tired, I just want to drop. Like right now. Ain't happening. That's a minimum of a half hour loss of nighty-night to do that. Plus Mi Sun Li is waiting impatiently for me on the other side, and she's holding a whole platter of bacon and has cheeseburgers on the grill. (It's my fantasy, it doesn't have to be culinarily accurate.) Hmm, I think I invented a new word.
2. Show up to work looking like a werewolf. Or more accurately, a Don Johnson wannabe that doesn't look like Don Johnson but that is sporting that eighty's fad of semi beard growth, a partially buttoned white linen shirt, and a gold chain. But without the shirt and chain. Yeah, that could work. Staff will probably think I came off a three day Merle Haggard style drunk (which by the way would be fairly accurate) and leave me alone.
3. Dry shave. I don't even know why I listed that as an option.
4. Use the electric. I already wet my face and those things don't really work well unless your skin is bone dry. Or soaking wet with shave cream, but if you were going to do that why would you use an electric in the first place.
5. Now this is crazy talk I know, but it just might work. Probably not as well as the real thing, but I'll bet it gets the job done. What can I substitute for shave cream? Whipped cream? No, plus an ant problem on my face in the middle of the night would be detrimental. Dish soap? Maybe. Baby oil? Hell no, Sac Arrow ain't going Mr. Greasy Face.
I went with bar soap. The obvious solution. I wash my hands with it. I've taken showers with it. I've washed my ass with it. I've even washed my face with it. You know what? It worked! No issues whatsoever. It worked at least as good as shaving cream, except I didn't have a huge mound of foam threatening to engulf my head, nor did I have a trajectory of blue gel embed itself in the mirror after pressing the button too hard. Post cleanup was a snap. I would even go so far to say it was easier on the face.
I like it when I solve a dilemma.