why did you have kids?

Dav8or said:
Researchers are now finding that education, really early education, when the child is one year old or less can produce more advanced kids in later life. A lot of the "scary smart" kids we see these days aren't the result of some breeding program, but rather parents that started early with the schooling. Less about play and more about learning.
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as far as the end result (success of the offspring) isn't that a distinction without a difference ?
 
cowman said:
My wife and I have been talking about it. She actually loves children and I think she believes having her own will give her life more meaning.

I keep seeing what other couples we know go through- how everything they do either revolves around or is burdened by the kid. I have no idea what to do with children... really young ones especially. They're making some kind of noises, the women seem to be able to hear language... I only hear babbling. They look at me, they drool, they're just weird and creepy and irritating.

On the other hand, I have some interest in teaching an older kid what I know. How to rebuild carburetors, hunt, shoot, drive, etc... Also I don't want to become so elderly that I'm incapable of taking care of myself and having no blood relative who can step in.

But those early stages... and knowing that's gonna be several years... I won't lie it's scaring the **** out of me.
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I was there. It's like taking the leap off the diving board for the first time. Hold your nose and jump.
 
SixPapaCharlie said:
It will further widen the gap between the classes. Will make it easier for the smart ones to succeed and when they rise, they will have lots of workers at their disposal.

I need to start an empire or become an evil overlord.
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That's a little presumptious to assume you'd be part of the overlord class :stirpot:
 
PaulS said:
Don't worry about it, I enjoyed reading it, although I did require a second pass.
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If there is anything more I can explain please feel free. I won't claim to be a champ at distilling complex ideas down to a layman's level, but I will try. Just remember, if you didn't get something odds are lots of other people reading that won't get it either. An explanation that doesn't explain is useless in the Book of Steingar.
 
SixPapaCharlie said:
There is nothing anyone could explain to a non-parent that would really make it make sense or bring you to understand what it is to have kids.
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Wow, you're just the gift that keeps on giving aren't you. :rolleyes:
 
steingar said:
If there is anything more I can explain please feel free. I won't claim to be a champ at distilling complex ideas down to a layman's level, but I will try. Just remember, if you didn't get something odds are lots of other people reading that won't get it either. An explanation that doesn't explain is useless in the Book of Steingar.
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Doesn't that book come with a complimentary bottle? :wink2:
 
Anthony said:
Wow, you're just the gift that keeps on giving aren't you. :rolleyes:
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I used to not have kids. I am well aware of how my perception changed and what I got wrong and what I got right. I bet most look back at their life before and after and realize it is significantly different than they expected and nobody could have conveyed that to them prior.



or maybe not. :dunno:
 
SixPapaCharlie said:
I used to not have kids. I am well aware of how my perception changed and what I got wrong and what I got right. I bet most look back at their life before and after and realize it is significantly different than they expected and nobody could have conveyed that to them prior.



or maybe not. :dunno:
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I was never a kid person. Now that I have one, I will say it is so much cooler than I could have ever imagined. I completely agree. To those that have no interest, you just can't explain it until you go through it. It's not a slight. It's just true. If you don't want to, so be it.
 
I enjoy my kids but I don't consider myself "superior" in any way to someone who chose to not have kids. When I didn't have kids I remember being annoyed by people who seemed to think they were special because they were breeders. To this day I laugh at that "baby on board" nonsense that some used to put on their vans/baby transportation devices. Some still have it. So I'm supposed to treat you differently because you have a baby? So what. I don't care if you have a "baby on board". :lol:
 
PPC1052 said:
I was never a kid person. Now that I have one, I will say it is so much cooler than I could have ever imagined. I completely agree. To those that have no interest, you just can't explain it until you go through it. It's not a slight. It's just true. If you don't want to, so be it.
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Actually, it is a slight. You and others keep saying that just because you didn't know what it would be like to have kids, until you had them, that means that we don't know what it would be like, or if we would like it. That is a false assumption. You are reducing our ability to think for ourselves based on your own ability. And that is not intended to be a mean or sarcastic comment, but that is the way you come across.

I practically raised my siblings in a house run by an alcoholic step father and a submissive mother. I loved my siblings as much as you love your kids. But I still don't want any of my own.

I think there is some sort of genetic disposition that causes some people to desire kids. I don't have that predisposition. And fortunately, neither does my wife.
 
before anyone criticizes someone who "doesn't want kids", stop to think that they may have tried and been unable. We have several friends who on the surface were never "kid people" but we found out the truth when they got into their 40's and decided to adopt.
 
My wife and I never wanted kids. We love kids, and spoil our friends' kids rotten, but never had that urge to have any of our own. I don't personally get offended by the grief we get over it - I figure it's biological, and we're simply missing the gene.
 
Ted DuPuis said:
I definitely will say that diapers are one of those things that start out seeming gross and very quickly become no big deal, as 6PC stated with his experience.

Cloth diapers make it fun because they can be cute. We have a bunch with airplanes on them.
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The diapers aren't that bad. The first few after birth with the black tar in them are kind of gross, then the first really stinky one hits you when they're a little older.. But for the most part, it's been a non event since my son was a couple hours old. I changed his first diaper - NO GLOVES mr 6PC.....
 
Y'all new dads want a fun trick?

I did this and well it was not a good idea but we at least have the story.
My son was born and about 3 weeks later, I bundled up a bunch of blankets and swaddled them so it would look like I was holding the baby.

I don't recall how I got it started. Maybe pretended to start an argument w/ the wife or something to that affect but at any rate, I just threw the "baby" to her from across the room.

I thought she was going to die. It probably took 2-3 years of Mrs 6PC's life.

Y'all should do that. :no:
 
Without reading the whole thread, I will add that when it comes to kids many of us without them believe some things are best borrowed. Show them some fun, then send them back where they came from! (survived a couple of hours with some Boy Scouts at work this week, whew!)
 
Let'sgoflying! said:
Without reading the whole thread, I will add that when it comes to kids many of us without them believe some things are best borrowed. Show them some fun, then send them back where they came from! (survived a couple of hours with some Boy Scouts at work this week, whew!)
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That's what you get to do with grandchildren. Spoil them rotten, then give them back to their parents. :D
 
kayoh190 said:
I figure it's biological, and we're simply missing the gene.
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I totally get that. I have felt that way too. When everyone around you is rhapsodizing about the wonders of parenthood and there is so much societal expectation for you to get started on some offspring, you start wondering why don't I want this like everyone else seems to be preprogrammed to automatically start? You do feel like you're different and inexplicably so.
 
Ghery said:
That's what you get to do with grandchildren. Spoil them rotten, then give them back to their parents. :D
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I'm more likely to put them into hard labor, show them the real world! "get going with that pickaxe, that garden isn't going to dig itself!"
 
Dav8or said:
The thing is, numerical superiority always wins. Evil empires can and have been brought down by the enslaved. I think this might be why zombie movies, TV shows and games are so popular. It's a way for the white Anglo Saxon to work through their anxieties of being over run by "inferiors" through analogy.
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I've been patiently waiting for you to turn this into the inevitable racial argument, to which I say horse-hockey.

Brilliant women all over the world, of EVERY race, are not reproducing in numbers sufficient to carry on their genes. This is not a "white, anglo-Saxon" eugenics program -- this is happening across cultures, naturally.

The ramifications are negligible, for now -- and enormous, over time.

The bottom line is that our most highly evolved women are opting out of the program. The animal world analogy would be to take the smartest border collies -- the ones who herd cattle the best -- and sterilize them. Over time, how long would it take before border collies were as dumb as my mutt?

I don't have a solution, but it's definitely a long term issue for humans. Philosophically, it is also disturbing.
 
steingar said:
I will happily dissemble at the show, and will do so far more entertainingly if plied with a drink or three beforehand. :)
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I foresee a VERY interesting conversation at the HOPS Party this year!

Or at Grant's party. Except that you're usually nonverbal by the time we get to that one... :)
 
BTW: Having adult kids rocks.

Although it's hard to explain the heartache of having one of them living 1300 miles away. It's a weird, empty longing, after so many years together. Like you're missing an appendage.

Of course, this is made up somewhat by his sister, who is still underfoot and driving us crazy...at age 21. lol

Kids are amazingly wonderful, and the time spent raising them (that seemed SO long, as we were living it) went by in the blink of an eye...
 
Jay Honeck said:
BTW: Having adult kids rocks.

Although it's hard to explain the heartache of having one of them living 1300 miles away. It's a weird, empty longing, after so many years together. Like you're missing an appendage.

Of course, this is made up somewhat by his sister, who is still underfoot and driving us crazy...at age 21. lol

Kids are amazingly wonderful, and the time spent raising them (that seemed SO long, as we were living it) went by in the blink of an eye...
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I assumed you and Mary moved to the island kid free....:confused:
 
Let'sgoflying! said:
I'm more likely to put them into hard labor, show them the real world! "get going with that pickaxe, that garden isn't going to dig itself!"
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My dad said that's what his dad said ... and then Dad repeated it to me. We no longer live on or near a farm, so my kids have no clue ... :D
 
Being a grandparent is getting to say "Yes" to all those things you said "No" to as a parent.
 
gkainz said:
Being a grandparent is getting to say "Yes" to all those things you said "No" to as a parent.
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And the grand kids go home to their parents with a head full of mixed messages...:confused::confused:..

Doesn't sound very productive to me..:no:...:(
 
N801BH said:
And the grand kids go home to their parents with a head full of mixed messages...
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Oh, no they don't. Kids have that one all figured out early on. :wink2:
 
Becky said:
Oh, no they don't. Kids have that one all figured out early on. :wink2:
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Must be a different generation thing then...

My grand parents held us to the same standards my parents did.... :rolleyes:
 
Many years ago John Wayne was being interviewed. The interviewer noted that he had a reputation of being a strict disciplinarian when it came to his kids. He was asked how he handled his grandkids. "I spoil 'em rotten. That's what they're for!" I agree with the Duke. :D
 
N801BH said:
And the grand kids go home to their parents with a head full of mixed messages...:confused::confused:..

Doesn't sound very productive to me..:no:...:(
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no mixed messages ...
"Grandpa gives me cookies! "
"I get chocolate pudding at Grandpa's house"
... the consistent statement is "at grandma and grandpa's house" and they know it. :)
 
And that's the truth. My parents spoiled my kids rotten with things they would NEVER have done for us! And I've got no hard feelings about it. Dad deserves to be able to do it. And my kids need an occasional break from the strict rules I have in place.

Kind of a funny story along this line. Dad got my 13-year-old son a computer kit for Christmas. My son wanted a top of the line computer for gaming, and dad thought it would be a fun grandfather-grandson project. I knew enough to not get involved in any way. So after Christmas they get together, take the parts out of the boxes, look at the instructions for about 4 hours.

So I get a guy from IT here at the office to come by the house and help my son put it together. Half an hour later I hand him a wad of bills as he's walking out the door. I can always tell when he fires the thing up because the lights in the rest of the house dim.

It's kind of cool for me to watch because when I was a kid we had father-son projects all the time. But back then they involved cutting wood and digging fence post holes.
 
N801BH said:
Must be a different generation thing then...

My grand parents held us to the same standards my parents did.... :rolleyes:
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Yeah, but things have changed since then, the extinction of dinosaurs for instance.:rofl:
 
Henning said:
Yeah, but things have changed since then, the extinction of dinosaurs for instance.:rofl:
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True......
I was there when they invented the Wheel..... And fire was invented when I was knee high to a grasshopper........

Good times back then,....:yes:...:D
 
sferguson524 said:
The diapers aren't that bad. The first few after birth with the black tar in them are kind of gross, then the first really stinky one hits you when they're a little older.. But for the most part, it's been a non event since my son was a couple hours old. I changed his first diaper - NO GLOVES mr 6PC.....
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After watching the blood, mucus and poop that came with the baby, changing diapers was a non-issue.
 
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