What kind of wife should I get?

EdFred

EdFred

Taxi to Parking
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Feb 25, 2005
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White Chocolate
I'm in the market for a wife, but looking for input on what's the best fit for me.

I'm looking to get my last wife first, but wouldn't be opposed to moving up if something better came along that fit me better in a few years.

Certifiable or experimental?

Never owned or used?

If used, factory original and pay for upgrades after acquisition, or find one that's already had upgrades done by a previous owner?

Thoughts on ones with runouts?

What are the issues on bringing one in from out of country and getting the paperwork done correctly?

One that likes going into grass strips, or is that going to cause maintenance issues?

Are there any models that come with an isolate switch?

Best places to look?

I will have more questions I'm sure, but looking for answers from those that have been through this before.


NOTE: This was necrobumped on Jun 24, 2022.
 
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First we need to know what is your mission?

Geez with these newbies...
 
With no mention of a budget, you don't give us much to go on.:dunno:
 
All I can say is that you want one with enhanced stability...and go for a new model with a warranty...
 
THE HUSBAND STORE

A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates.

You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch: you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband...

On each floor the signs on the doors read:

Floor 1 - These men have jobs.

Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.

Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking. "Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework. "Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 3,261,496,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.


THE WIFE STORE

Floor 1 - has wives that love sex.

Floor 2 - has wives that love sex and have money.

The third through sixth floors have never been visited.
 
Velocity173 said:
With no mention of a budget, you don't give us much to go on.:dunno:
Click to expand...

I assumed it was like airplanes?
How much should I plan on spending? All of it.

Also, overdrive, that is one of my favorite analogies ever.
 
How many people does she need to carry?
What about baggage?

Do you prefer one with a stick?

You need to think a lot about what it is you want ant then browse c**troller.com and the other sites and dial it in from there.
 
EdFred said:
I'm in the market for a wife, but looking for input on what's the best fit for me.

I'm looking to get my last wife first, but wouldn't be opposed to moving up if something better came along that fit me better in a few years.

Certifiable or experimental?

Never owned or used?

If used, factory original and pay for upgrades after acquisition, or find one that's already had upgrades done by a previous owner?

Thoughts on ones with runouts?

What are the issues on bringing one in from out of country and getting the paperwork done correctly?

One that likes going into grass strips, or is that going to cause maintenance issues?

Are there any models that come with an isolate switch?

Best places to look?

I will have more questions I'm sure, but looking for answers from those that have been through this before.
Click to expand...

A rich one.
 
State your mission,budget,and wether a god looking model,or one slightly used. When you decide ,you will go over budget,with a high maintenance model ,needing constant attention.
 
bartmc said:
Doesn't matter. Money makes up for a lot of squawks. You might not be happy. But, it'll make being miserable more enjoyable.
Click to expand...

I'm just not aware of any rich ones that didn't get their money from elsewhere.
 
An Old Saying!

If it flys, floats, or f---s, RENT IT.
 
Just get one of these:

blow%20up%20women.jpg


Not exactly the deluxe model but,if replacement becomes desirable or necessary, the savings will be significant.

Mark
 
I found my last wife first, and she has held up very well.

For me the trick was getting her to the altar before she had any idea who I really was, so it was too late by then, and we could begin in the "I knew he needed work, but he;s worth the effort," phase, and get it out of the way fast.
 
I would happy to perform the prebuy inspection.
It is always recommended to check out several before buying, and I will do them all for you. All the prebuys.
 
EdFred said:
I assumed it was like airplanes?
How much should I plan on spending? All of it.

Also, overdrive, that is one of my favorite analogies ever.
Click to expand...

Neither path makes financial sense so yeah, best plan to sign off many blank checks.
 
Let'sgoflying! said:
I would happy to perform the prebuy inspection.
It is always recommended to check out several before buying, and I will do them all for you. All the prebuys.
Click to expand...

Well, being from the Midwest, your veterinary experience will probably be more useful than you realize.
 
What in heaven's name makes you think YOU get to choose?
 
Beware of fresh paint-might be hidden corrosion/faulty repairs underneath...
 
One with large external tanks. One must be watchful of CG issues and be willing to have them stared at wherever you travel.
 
I would go with a foreign model. They are more expensive at first but it will be worth it because it will give you less trouble in the long run.

The domestic models usually are high maintenance and come with a lot of squawks...
 
Have you thought about annual costs? How often are you willing to have your new wife "in the shop" for maintenance?
 
I'll channel my inner Ron Levy:

Get the purchase agreement reviewed by a lawyer.
 
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