Lets make Friday 'Joke Day'!

Capt. Geoffrey Thorpe said:
I don't like to think before I speak. I like to be just as surprised as everyone else at what comes out of my mouth.
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I can relate... I was having lunch with a bunch of people from work, and one giant sized guy is telling us about his new fiance. He'd been divorced five times. So before my filter kicks in, I hear myself say "So, Bob, how many times is it going to take before you figure out that marriage might not be for you?"

As soon as I said it, my next thought, that I didn't say out loud, was "Huh. Those might be the last words I ever say."

Bob just laughed. He didn't end up marrying that one.
 
Albany Tom said:
I can relate... I was having lunch with a bunch of people from work, and one giant sized guy is telling us about his new fiance. He'd been divorced five times. So before my filter kicks in, I hear myself say "So, Bob, how many times is it going to take before you figure out that marriage might not be for you?"

As soon as I said it, my next thought, that I didn't say out loud, was "Huh. Those might be the last words I ever say."

Bob just laughed. He didn't end up marrying that one.
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A coworker’s mom passed away. They had her cremated, and the funeral director asked if he wanted to view the cremation. He didn’t know that was actually a thing, but he watched while they ran her in and then left.

He said that the next day he got a call from the funeral director asking how the cremation went. Before my filter could kick in, I said, “did you tell him it was well done?”

I apologized profusely. He said it was ok, but don’t ever say that around his wife.
 
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