Lets make Friday 'Joke Day'!

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Emotional support animal, emergency food source. Subtle cultural differences. (I think I know which way the dog is leaning.)
 
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Everyday it becomes a little more clear.
 
I was using a pull along trencher to dig around a pool deck to bury electrical conduit. I was watching the dirt pile up beside the growing trench when I saw a single strand of that colorful telephone wire come up and out and land on the dirt. I thought "Uh-oh!". I had cut a 200 pair cable. Right at the bottom of the trench so the trencher never bound up or pulled, just chewed right through the cable.

The only reason we didn't have to pay for the repair was the right of way/easement for the telephone had been moved when they rerouted the road and the phone company had not moved the cable. I didi help dig the 6 foot diameter hole the phone guy needed for his splice. Seemed like the thing to do...
 
I was using a pull along trencher to dig around a pool deck to bury electrical conduit. I was watching the dirt pile up beside the growing trench when I saw a single strand of that colorful telephone wire come up and out and land on the dirt. I thought "Uh-oh!". I had cut a 200 pair cable. Right at the bottom of the trench so the trencher never bound up or pulled, just chewed right through the cable.

The only reason we didn't have to pay for the repair was the right of way/easement for the telephone had been moved when they rerouted the road and the phone company had not moved the cable. I didi help dig the 6 foot diameter hole the phone guy needed for his splice. Seemed like the thing to do...

I was doing some dirt work in the neighbors back yard with a skid-steer, and severed a coax cable. I went up to his house cussing and shaking my head, confessed to cutting it, which he looked over at his tv and said "looks like it's still on to me". Turns out it was just an old cable line that was no longer in service. Also had a co-worker in college running a walk-behind trencher for a residential water sprinkler install go right over the ground in front of a sign that said "Underground Jet Fuel" which happened to be a line running to Tinker AFB. You never saw so many guys trying to tackle someone to get them to stop the trencher! Luckily the line was buried deep enough that no harm was done.
 
811 you guys!
They will come to my house - even when it's all my lines I am digging around!
They only mark public utilities around here and stop at the edge of the road. If you have cable or phone line buried in your yard they will mark it where it goes underground at the pole but not where it goes once it enters your property. The times I have called them the markings they did at the road were useless for actually digging in my yard since not every utility followed a straight line to the house for various reasons. 811 also won’t tell you where things like your well electric and plumbing are run through the yard, where your septic field pipe is run from the house or where the propane tank line is if the tank is not directly against the house. None of those are public utilities so 811 won’t mark them. The point is that you need to be careful of where you dig even after calling 811.
 
You’re an old aviator if you have this lapel pin.
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My girlfriend hasn’t made a single joke in the 10 years we’ve been together…
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We're in a very serious relationship...
 
A man boards a plane with seven kids.

After they settled in their seats, a woman sitting across the aisle leans over to him and asks, "Are all of these kids yours?"

He replies: "No. I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints.
 
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