Lets make Friday 'Joke Day'!

ElPaso Pilot said:
A man boards a plane with seven kids.

After they settled in their seats, a woman sitting across the aisle leans over to him and asks, "Are all of these kids yours?"

He replies: "No. I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints.
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I hold a distinction in my family…as the middle child, I was the only one that was “planned.”
 
MauleSkinner said:
I hold a distinction in my family…as the middle child, I was the only one that was “planned.”
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Are you sure they didn't tell all the kids that they were the planned one? Not that I've ever heard of any parents doing that...
 
Dana said:
Heaven is where the police are British, the cooks are French, the mechanics German, the lovers Italian and it's all organized by the Swiss.

Hell is where the chefs are British, the mechanics French, the lovers Swiss, the police German and it's all organized by the Italians.
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The shame of Canada is that they could have had American technology, French cuisine, and British culture.

Instead they have French technology, British cuisine, and American culture.
 
Canada's worst air disaster occurred earlier this morning when a Cessna 152 crashed into a cemetery in central Newfoundland.


Newfie search and rescue workers have recovered 825 bodies so far, and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the evening.
 
Student Bob was on his first solo, and despite all his planning, somehow he still got lost. Fortunately he had his wits and his sectional with him, so he called up the nearest tower, asking for vectors to land. Tower obliges.

Tower: Can you give me your position?

Student Bob: I’m next to a cloud that looks like a lion.

Tower: Can you be more specific?

Student Bob: Roger. It’s the one that looks exactly like Simba.
 
Our friendly pilot was welcoming the passengers on the plane shortly after take off.

"Thank you for flying with us this morning.
The weather is....."

Then suddenly he starts screaming while he is still on the intercom:

"Oh my God. OMG! OMG! This is going to hurt....Its burning"

A ghostly silence reigned in the cabin.

Realizing what he’s done, our pilot gets back on the intercom and begins speaking to his passengers:

"I sincerely apologize for the incident but I just dropped a very hot cup of coffee on my lap...you should see my pants!"

One passenger shouts back -

"Why don't you come out here and see our PANTS"!
 
I suspect a post explaining what was wrong would be more offensive...

(but I'm not sure, because I too don't have any idea why it would offensive...)
 
I think it's fine. Anyone that understands the joke isn't going to be offended.

Now this one might not be: When a girl asks another girl to go to the bathroom with her, it's no big deal. When a guy asks another guy to go to the bathroom with him, they arrest the senator.
 
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