Lets make Friday 'Joke Day'!

A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He spots a man down below and lowers the balloon to shout: “Excuse me, can you help me? I promised my friend I would meet him half an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”

The man below says: “Yes. You are in a hot air balloon, hovering approximately 30 feet above this field. You are between 40 and 42 degrees N. latitude, and between 58 and 60 degrees W. longitude.”

“You must be an engineer” says the balloonist.

“I am” replies the man. “How did you know.”

“Well” says the balloonist, “everything you have told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost.”

The man below says “You must be a project manager.”

“I am” replies the balloonist, “but how did you know?”

“Well”, says the man, “you don’t know where you are, or where you are going. You have made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problems. The fact is you are in the exact same position you were in before we met, but now it is somehow my fault.”
 
AV8R_87 said:
No true engineer would provide such an inaccurate answer.
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<geekfarm> A true engineer understands the difference between accuracy and precision. </geekfarm>

Nauga,
who knows that sometimes half the distance is enough ;)
 
True story, but sharing it here because i'm still chuckling over it.

Our company is one that sends fake phishing emails. If you click the link in the email, you get a page that says "you got phished, now go take this training to avoid it again". You're supposed to hit a button and say "this is suspicious" and you get an good job message. They're annoying and usually rather transparent. Yawn.

Yesterday I got a call from a manager in IT asking how come I wasn't reporting these anymore? To be honest, I haven't seen any. I thought they had stopped sending them for a while.

We investigated. Bottom line - their AI spam control had started recognizing their fake phishing messages as spam and auto filing them, so I really never saw them.
 
bflynn said:
True story, but sharing it here because i'm still chuckling over it.

Our company is one that sends fake phishing emails. If you click the link in the email, you get a page that says "you got phished, now go take this training to avoid it again". You're supposed to hit a button and say "this is suspicious" and you get an good job message. They're annoying and usually rather transparent. Yawn.

Yesterday I got a call from a manager in IT asking how come I wasn't reporting these anymore? To be honest, I haven't seen any. I thought they had stopped sending them for a while.

We investigated. Bottom line - their AI spam control had started recognizing their fake phishing messages as spam and auto filing them, so I really never saw them.
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I’m still submitting emails from HR and senior management as spam…they’re honestly the most suspicious-looking emails if you believe our training materials.
 
MauleSkinner said:
I’m still submitting emails from HR and senior management as spam…they’re honestly the most suspicious-looking emails if you believe our training materials.
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I like the emails with "click on this link and log in with your user ID /password" to take the training that (should) teach you to never click on a link in an email and provide your use ID / password.
 
Capt. Geoffrey Thorpe said:
I like the emails with "click on this link and log in with your user ID /password" to take the training that (should) teach you to never click on a link in an email and provide your use ID / password.
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Back when I was an AOPA member, their weekly email had an article about how you shouldn’t click on a link and provide personal information, but rather you should log in via a known web address.

The very next thing in the newsletter was, “click here to update your information with AOPA.”
 
Capt. Geoffrey Thorpe said:
I like the emails with "click on this link and log in with your user ID /password" to take the training that (should) teach you to never click on a link in an email and provide your use ID / password.
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I reported those as phishing attempts.

My manager was amused. HR and cyber security, not so much.... but I didn't report to them.
 
DaleB said:
I reported those as phishing attempts.

My manager was amused. HR and cyber security, not so much.... but I didn't report to them.
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If the cyber security team were good, they'd be amused, too, but maybe not able to admit it.
 
itheberg?
I felt the wind in my hair when that one went by.
 
Boudreaux, the sheriff, and Thibodeaux, his deputy, knocked on Clotille’s front door one morning. She opened the door asking what they were there for. Boudreaux replied “Clotille, we have some good news and some bad news for you”. She replied, “Give me the bad news first”. Boudreaux said “we found your husband, Claude, dead and floating in the marsh.” Dismayed and sobbing she asked, “What could be the good news???” Thibodeaux blurted out “when we found him, we was covered with two dozen jumbo blue crabs. We threw him back and we’re going to check him again in the morning.”
 
MauleSkinner said:
Thpeech impediment. The itheberg thunk the unthinkable thip Titanic.
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Donald Duck and Daffy Duck were supposed to work together in a feature film. They got into a lot of arguments about not being able to understand each other, culminating with Daffy Duck storming off the set while yelling "I refhuse to work with thomeone who hath a thpeech impediment".
 
Billy Ray was hired to paint the yellow stripes on the highway. His first day he painted 10 miles.

The second day he only painted 5. His boss, seeing how he was getting slower decided to give him a day off, thinking that he needed a rest. When he came back the next day, he only painted 1/2 mile.

His now discouraged boss came up to him one day and said, "Excuse me, but why have you been painting less and less each day, even after I gave you a day off?"

"Simple," Billy Ray answered. "I've been getting farther away from the paint can!
 
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