Lets make Friday 'Joke Day'!

My wife might be more introverted than me. She doesn't go to parties unless I force her to go to a fly in. It's really a miracle we found each other.
 
Jim K said:
My wife might be more introverted than me. She doesn't go to parties unless I force her to go to a fly in. It's really a miracle we found each other.
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People talk about how God sits up in Heaven laughing at how he put my wife and me together.
 
Half Fast said:
Never been married?
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MauleSkinner said:
My wife has never made me go to a party where I don’t know anyone.
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JOhnH said:
Mine has.
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Ugh, wife work parties. They golf, I ride motorcycles and fly. They talk about what a bad day they had on the course, they lost three balls! I tell them a bad day up in the mountains or up in the air, and I die. *Blank stares* "Um, I'll just be over here getting another beer." Did I say ugh?
 
Bill said:
Ugh, wife work parties. They golf, I ride motorcycles and fly. They talk about what a bad day they had on the course, they lost three balls! I tell them a bad day up in the mountains or up in the air, and I die. *Blank stares* "Um, I'll just be over here getting another beer." Did I say ugh?
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“Must be nice to have three balls to lose. I’m very protective of mine.”
 
Bill said:
Ugh, wife work parties. They golf, I ride motorcycles and fly. They talk about what a bad day they had on the course, they lost three balls! I tell them a bad day up in the mountains or up in the air, and I die. *Blank stares* "Um, I'll just be over here getting another beer." Did I say ugh?
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Worse than that are the people who can only talk about televised sports. Run into them all the time at school functions. I mean, if you enjoy watching sports that's fine, but I just can't talk to someone who doesn't have any interests outside of that, and there's a LOT of them. Go outside once in a while. Touch grass...that's what the kids say, right?
 
MauleSkinner said:
My wife has never made me go to a party where I don’t know anyone.
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I've been to plenty of her horse activities (barn parties, horse shows, etc.) where I didn't know anyone. Fortunately, in that crowd, there's often at least one other husband who owns a plane. Unfortunately, in that crowd, he'll probably own a kerosene burner and have a professional pilot to fly it.
 
Half Fast said:
I've been to plenty of her horse activities (barn parties, horse shows, etc.) where I didn't know anyone. Fortunately, in that crowd, there's often at least one other husband who owns a plane. Unfortunately, in that crowd, he'll probably own a kerosene burner and have a professional pilot to fly it.
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“Good to meet you, Half. Oh, you own an airplane, too? Do you have the same problem I do? I can’t get my pilots to keep the bourbon properly stocked.”
 
MauleSkinner said:
“Good to meet you, Half. Oh, you own an airplane, too? Do you have the same problem I do? I can’t get my pilots to keep the bourbon properly stocked.”
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That's about the size of it. Or "My pilot keeps stocking the lavatory with the wrong scent air freshner."
 
Jim K said:
Worse than that are the people who can only talk about televised sports.
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A common species in the male population.

I still think we have a better deal than the women though.
Seems like every party I've been to as an adult it's just assumed that if you're a woman you're great with kids, willing to spend the whole time watching the kids, and then pitching-in with the post-party clean up...

I'd rather have my painful, obligatory 5 minutes of sportsball talk to avoid that :)
 
MauleSkinner said:
“Good to meet you, Half. Oh, you own an airplane, too? Do you have the same problem I do? I can’t get my pilots to keep the bourbon properly stocked.”
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With me it was:
Me: what kind of plane do you have?
Him: Citation,
Me: Oh, I used to own a Cessna too, but I upgraded.
 
Novel way to fix the Strait of Hormuz issue: use swallows carrying coconuts filled with oil.

The average coconut holds approx one pint
1 VLCC = 2 million barrels
1 barrel = 42 gal × 8 pints/gal = 336 pints

We need 672 million coconuts & swallows.

1773857338566.png

* Look up Monty Python and the Holy Grail if you're wondering how a swallow could carry a coconut.
 
AV8R_87 said:
Novel way to fix the Strait of Hormuz issue: use swallows carrying coconuts filled with oil.

The average coconut holds approx one pint
1 VLCC = 2 million barrels
1 barrel = 42 gal × 8 pints/gal = 336 pints

We need 672 million coconuts & swallows.

View attachment 150885

* Look up Monty Python and the Holy Grail if you're wondering how a swallow could carry a coconut.
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African or European?
 
Bill said:
Ugh, wife work parties. They golf, I ride motorcycles and fly. They talk about what a bad day they had on the course, they lost three balls! I tell them a bad day up in the mountains or up in the air, and I die. *Blank stares* "Um, I'll just be over here getting another beer." Did I say ugh?
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1773858221631.png
 
AV8R_87 said:
Novel way to fix the Strait of Hormuz issue: use swallows carrying coconuts filled with oil.

The average coconut holds approx one pint
1 VLCC = 2 million barrels
1 barrel = 42 gal × 8 pints/gal = 336 pints

We need 672 million coconuts & swallows.

View attachment 150885

* Look up Monty Python and the Holy Grail if you're wondering how a swallow could carry a coconut.
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They pick it up from the husk. I thought everyone knew that.
 
Jim K said:
Worse than that are the people who can only talk about televised sports. Run into them all the time at school functions. I mean, if you enjoy watching sports that's fine, but I just can't talk to someone who doesn't have any interests outside of that, and there's a LOT of them. Go outside once in a while. Touch grass...that's what the kids say, right?
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Why do people who watch sports on TV say "we won" when they talk about a group of sports entertainment people moving a leather ball around like they're part of the team?

I was brought to my wife's <mumble>th high school reunion. It made me wished I smoked so I had an excuse to go stand outside for 15 minutes. Immediately everyone was in their old HS clicks, just fatter and older.
 
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UngaWunga said:
Why do people who want sports on TV say "we won" when they talk about a group of sports entertainment people moving a leather ball around like they're part of the team?

I was brought to my wife's <mumble>th high school reunion. It made me wished I smoked so I had an excuse to go stand outside for 15 minutes. Immediately everyone was in their old HS clicks, just fatter and older.
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It depends...

"WE won! What a great game!"

"That game sucked. I can't believe THEY lost!"
 
MauleSkinner said:
“Must be nice to have three balls to lose. I’m very protective of mine.”
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"... but I do at least use them."

UngaWunga said:
I was brought to my wife's <mumble>th high school reunion. It made me wished I smoked so I had an excuse to go stand outside for 15 minutes. Immediately everyone was in their old HS clicks, just fatter and older.
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That's why I don't go to my reunions. Anyone worth talking to, I still keep in touch with. Why would I go hang around with a bunch of people I don't like? :dunno:
 
flyingcheesehead said:
That's why I don't go to my reunions. Anyone worth talking to, I still keep in touch with. Why would I go hang around with a bunch of people I don't like? :dunno:
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I went to my 50th. It was sort of enjoyable, in a dark sort of way, to see all the BMOC and jocks shuffling around with canes and triple chins while the former prom queens (that rebuffed me) looked older than my mother. On the other hand, I and the friends I had kept up with haven't changed at all!
 
JOhnH said:
I went to my 50th. It was sort of enjoyable, in a dark sort of way, to see all the BMOC and jocks shuffling around with canes and triple chins while the former prom queens (that rebuffed me) looked older than my mother. On the other hand, I and the friends I had kept up with haven't changed at all!
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I was also kind of fun for the hot girls to realize they had picked poorly in the HS dating pool.
Equally fun was the "which airport did you fly into" with the assumption of coming on an airline. Nearest airport with commercial service was >100 miles away and there were a couple roughly equidistant choices and some debates of which one was best. I had some fun saying I flew into the airport 10 miles from school, in my own plane.
 
I guess maybe I got lucky. My wife and I went to my 10 yer reunion and enjoyed it, and I got involved in helping to plan the 20 and 30 year reunions. The group doing the planning was a cross section of people from the class. A few cheerleaders, a couple of nobodies, a jock or two, one guy who was very buttoned-down in high school and is now a leading neurologist. Nicest people you could ever hope to meet. For the most part, the attendees seem to have all grown up and become genuinely nice people to be around... and, yes, with a few exceptions, but out of a graduating class of just a bit under 700 that's to be expected.

We're planning the 50 year reunion now, and of the 8 or 10 people involved I'd say I didn't move in different social circles than most, it was more like we lived on different planets. There's zero attitude and we're trying hard to reach out to everyone, even the ones who have sworn they never want to see or speak to anyone in the class again.

My wife graduated from the same high school, a year behind me. Her class is still a bunch of jackasses. :)
 
DaleB said:
I guess maybe I got lucky. My wife and I went to my 10 yer reunion and enjoyed it, and I got involved in helping to plan the 20 and 30 year reunions. The group doing the planning was a cross section of people from the class. A few cheerleaders, a couple of nobodies, a jock or two, one guy who was very buttoned-down in high school and is now a leading neurologist. Nicest people you could ever hope to meet. For the most part, the attendees seem to have all grown up and become genuinely nice people to be around... and, yes, with a few exceptions, but out of a graduating class of just a bit under 700 that's to be expected.

We're planning the 50 year reunion now, and of the 8 or 10 people involved I'd say I didn't move in different social circles than most, it was more like we lived on different planets. There's zero attitude and we're trying hard to reach out to everyone, even the ones who have sworn they never want to see or speak to anyone in the class again.

My wife graduated from the same high school, a year behind me. Her class is still a bunch of jackasses. :)
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As an Army brat I ended up at 2 high schools. The one where I graduated I was there as a jr and sr. I didn’t have much connection to the school, but I did with my friends. Military kids tend to make friends knowing it’s temporary. But the fun thing is meeting up with them again at different schools years apart. Our HS reunions are like that. We can pick up a conversation right where we left off.
 
Matthew said:
As an Army brat I ended up at 2 high schools. The one where I graduated I was there as a jr and sr. I didn’t have much connection to the school, but I did with my friends. Military kids tend to make friends knowing it’s temporary. But the fun thing is meeting up with them again at different schools years apart. Our HS reunions are like that. We can pick up a conversation right where we left off.
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Yep. I never thought I'd ever see a high school friend again. Then the Internet happened.
 
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