Lets make Friday 'Joke Day'!

Haha. I had the same thought and told my wife she's laughing all the way to the bank. :thumbsup::yesnod:

Well, at least only ABC was stupid enough to re-hire her. Nobody was lining up to have her sing The Star Spangled Banner at any sporting events. At least they learned their lesson the first time around. ABC... desperate, apparently forgot.

Honestly I hope she gets a lot of money out of them. Hahaha... but that's mostly because I want it to hurt some TV exec's bonus, and it'd have to be millions and millions to even touch one of those.
 
The sad part is how many other people were negatively affected by her actions. A lot of the rest of the cast was really excited to get back together it sounded like, and while Johnny Galecki is making bank from Big Bang Theory, some of the other minor part actors were probably really looking forward to making some decent money again. Sucks to be them. :(
 
The sad part is how many other people were negatively affected by her actions. A lot of the rest of the cast was really excited to get back together it sounded like, and while Johnny Galecki is making bank from Big Bang Theory, some of the other minor part actors were probably really looking forward to making some decent money again. Sucks to be them. :(

I have only one phrase for that: You’re known by the company you keep.

They knew what they were getting into. They didn’t break their contracts, so they’ll likely get paid pretty handsomely. I doubt it’ll “suck” at all.

If anything they don’t have to put up with her on the set for eight-plus hours a day. I’d call that a plus in my book.
 
He hasn't been for a a long time, so Dennis goes to visit his old aunt . As he sits on the couch, he notices a large bowl of peanuts on the coffee table.


“Mind if I have a few?” Dennis asks.


“No, not at all!” the old woman replied.


They talked about health of the old woman and other parts of her life for half an hour and, as Dennis stands to leave he realizes that instead of eating just a few peanuts, he has emptied most of the bowl.


“I’m really sorry for eating all your peanuts Auntie. I really just meant to eat a few.”


“Oh, that’s all right,” his aunt says. “Ever since I lost my teeth, all I can do is suck the chocolate off them anyway.”
 
John, who lived in the north of England, decided to go golfing in Scotland with his buddy, Shawn so they loaded up John's minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard so they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.


"I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed," she explained, "and I'm afraid the neighbours will talk if I let you stay in my house."


"Don't worry." John said. "We'll be happy to sleep in the barn and if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light."


The lady agreed and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night.


Come morning, the weather had cleared so they got on their way and enjoyed a great weekend of golf.


But about nine months later, John got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the golf weekend.


He dropped in on his friend Shawn and asked, "Shawn, do you remember that good looking widow on the farm we stayed at on our golf holiday in Scotland about 9 months ago?"


"Yes, I do." said Shawn.


"Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?"


"Well, um, yes." Shawn said, a little embarrassed about being found out, "I have to admit that I did."


"And did you happen to give her my name and address instead of telling her your name?"


Shawn's face turned beet red and he said, "Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy I'm afraid I did. Why do you ask?"

"She just died and left me everything."


(And you thought the ending would be different, didn't you? You know you smiled... Now keep that smile for the rest of the day!!!).
 
For @Sac Arrow

ed6cf6123b4108cd6041bc0c0a03deb8.jpg
 
I just looked at some electrical schematics.

In a corner, handwritten in small letters next to an arrow, is the following:

"stan
doff"
 
A brand new store has just opened in New York City that sells Husbands. When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions at the entrance:

“You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors and the value of the products increase as you ascend the flights. You may choose any item from a particular floor or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you CANNOT go back down except to exit the building!”

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.

The 1st floor sign reads: Floor 1 – These men have jobs.

The 2nd floor sign reads: Floor 2 – These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

The 3rd floor sign reads: Floor 3 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids and are extremely good looking.

“Wow,” she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the 4th floor and The sign reads: Floor 4 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help with Housework.

“Oh, mercy me!” she exclaims, “I can hardly stand it!” Still, she goes to the 5th floor and The sign reads: Floor 5 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, help with Housework and Have A Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6th floor and the sign reads:

Floor 6 – You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

To avoid gender bias charges, the store’s owner opens a New Wives store just across the street.

The 1st floor has wives who love sex.

The 2nd floor has wives who love sex and have money.

The 3rd through 6th floors have never been visited.
 
Wow, that's real! Way cool.

Somebody got all ****y over at UA that I posted it over there. I just thought it was funny.

He’s whining it’s “political”. Christ almighty. The entire page is nothing but radar drawn sky penises and he thought I would post something political there? LOL.

I was thinking about tagging it with #metoo though, just from the look on Bill’s face and his hand position... Hahahaha. He looks like he wants some of that.

Probably ain’t anything Bill doesn’t want some of, but we didn’t know that back then. Hahahaha.

Makes the photo extra creepy now. And funny.

Anyway I told the guy I’m all about radar weenies and truck nuts on Cirri. Hahaha. What a wanker.

@SixPapaCharlie I pizzed off some whiner on your FB page. Just FYI. Hahaha. Not that you care. I sure don’t. LOL.
 
A tiny little ant marries a huge elephant. After the wedding night the elephant dies. The ant says "oh great. I get one night of fun and now, for the rest of my life I have to dig this grave."

Sent from my BBB100-3 using Tapatalk
 
The Power of a Good Vocabulary



I called an old classmate who went on to M.I.T., and asked how he was doing.


He replied that at that moment, he was working on “aqua-thermal
treatment of ceramics, aluminum and steel under a constrained
environment.”


I was impressed.



However, upon further inquiry, I learned that he was washing dishes
with hot water under his wife's supervision.
 
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