So I tried to fly a 182 following these instructions and had some problems. First, I tried to "register a passenger list" and all it did was raise the suspicions of the TSA, who said that since I didn't know what I was doing but I was trying to fly an airplane, I must be a terrorist and they threw me into Guantanamo. Eventually, I escaped and made my way back to the airport. There wasn't anyone there to file a flight plan with, so the plane wouldn't start. Luckily, after I filed a flight plan with the FAA, the plane miraculously came to life. Unfortunately, since the Cessna uses its throttles instead of pedals, but the handbook says I use the pedals to steer, I spent a lot of time accelerating and decelerating and taxiing around in circles trying to figure it out and crashed into a hangar. Luckily, I found another 182 to try out. Good thing there's 13,000 of them on the "FAA Airport Registry!" (Funny, I thought it was an airplane, not an airport. Boy, this flying stuff is hard to learn!) This time I managed to make it to the runway and push the throttle in, but I couldn't decide whether I should take off at 80 mph (69 knots) or 120 knots (138 mph). Luckily, when I hit 80 mph I realized that it would take enough time for me to put my ass up on top of the glareshield so I could "push" the yoke "back" instead of pulling it from the pilot's seat that I'd be at 120 knots when I was finished anyway. That was really hard, I'm not very flexible! With a design that requires such contortions, I'm surprised Cessna sold any of these damn things! Finally the plane took off and I was in the air, so I spun the wheel to the left at a 45-degree angle to turn away from the "runaway". I didn't even realize that kids who ran away were supposed to go to airports, but I sure didn't want to hit one. Unfortunately, instead of turning, when I held the "wheel" at a 45-degree angle, the plane kept flipping over until it was inverted, and I crashed and died. Well, I promised St. Peter that if he'd just pull some strings and let me have one more chance at life, that I'd give him a ride in a 182 when I got it all figured out. So, I went back to the airport and found yet another 182. Seriously, this is hard stuff - I'm on my 3rd airplane already and I haven't gone very far! That must be why there's only "13,000" of them in the "airport registry" when Cessna has built over 23,000 of them - The other 10,000 must have been crashed by people trying to learn to fly from eHow.com! But this time I figured out that instead of "pushing back on the wheel" that I could simply pull back on the yoke to take off, and remain firmly belted in my seat. That sure is a lot easier! So I took off, and used a lot less than 45 degrees of deflection on the yoke, and figured out that if I bring the yoke back to the center, the airplane will turn without flipping over and killing me. Phew! That's a relief. So I practiced flying around for a few minutes like you said - Wow, that's the best idea you've had yet! But I wasn't sure which pedal to use to reduce speed slowly, and no matter what I did I couldn't figure out how to slow down - When I hit the brake pedal, I got thrown over towards the right side of the airplane. Then I looked back in the book and discovered that BOTH pedals are brake pedals! But they don't work in this airplane, I hit them both hard and it kept going just as fast. Then I remembered that I could reduce my gear and pop the clutch - But this "elevator" thing that's supposed to be the gear shift has me confused. I mean, I already went up! Is the whole plane the elevator? So I tried the throttle, but when I pulled it out the plane just started going down, and just as fast as I had been going before! I think it must be defective. Luckily, I remembered what you said about "spinning the wheel" for something, and discovered a different wheel that made the plane slow down! I don't know why you said to turn it to the right though, it only goes forward and back. Maybe your 182 is different than all the ones I've tried so far. Unfortunately, turning the wheel also made me start going up. I eventually figured out that by spinning the wheel and pulling the throttle I could go down and slow down at the same time. Wow, this is so confusing! No wonder so few people are pilots. So I got down near the runway and I couldn't figure out how to "release the landing gear!" I guess I need to use that gear shift elevator thing. But when I tried to do that, first the plane bounced off the runway, then went up with the nose in the air and I crashed and died again. St. Peter wouldn't even deal with me this time, but at least he let me into heaven. Those instructions are terrible.
I hope my next of kin sues.
