Corrupt my wish

Granted. You apparently never knew the secret motto of the U.S. Department of Education's secondary accreditation division:

"Every day is a school day!"

So just like every other school, there are 365 days at your university.

(P.S. no you can't independently look it up and confirm it, it's secret.)

I wish people would call me back when I need them to.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Granted. You apparently never knew the secret motto of the U.S. Department of Education's secondary accreditation division:

"Every day is a school day!"

So just like every other school, there are 365 days at your university.

(P.S. no you can't independently look it up and confirm it, it's secret.)

I wish people would call me back when I need them to.
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Granted. Every time someone calls you back, all you hear is a recording of "Hollaback girl" on the other end. But since they aint no hollaback girls, they tend not to call you back in person.

I wish there were a pond for fishing within a 5-mile radius.
 
ebykowsky said:
Granted. Every time someone calls you back, all you hear is a recording of "Hollaback girl" on the other end. But since they aint no hollaback girls, they tend not to call you back in person.

I wish there were a pond for fishing within a 5-mile radius.
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Granted, one of these should cut you a nice pond....
North-Korea-moves-missile-010.jpg


It may be a while before you can stock fish in it though.

I wish governmental entities could write intelligent procurement documents.
 
Granted; they wish to procure your kidneys, liver and spleen. No more alcohol for you!

I wish I wasn't just starting to feel a cold sore.
 
ebykowsky said:
Granted; they wish to procure your kidneys, liver and spleen. No more alcohol for you!

I wish I wasn't just starting to feel a cold sore.
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Granted. When you saw your new girlfriend's Barbie collection that should have been your first clue:

crackwhorebarbie.jpg


It's not a cold sore. It's much worse.

I wish I could test ride a BMW K1600GT.
 
Granted. I hear they need crash test dummies.

I wish I had a bunch of old stuff to sell on eBay.
 
Granted you have a few hundred of the 1969 pennies. But you put them all in one canvas bag and when you went to pick it up your back wouldn't go back to the upright position. You scream in agony for hours and finally the paramedics get called and they come in and see what you were picking up and decide to screw you and take the pennies themselves. Those little whipper snappers barely flinched picking up the bag! You're now out a bunch of money (bidding on them from the internet) and you still can't stand up right!

I wish I had a fun final project to do at work.
 
saracelica said:
Granted you have a few hundred of the 1969 pennies. But you put them all in one canvas bag and when you went to pick it up your back wouldn't go back to the upright position. You scream in agony for hours and finally the paramedics get called and they come in and see what you were picking up and decide to screw you and take the pennies themselves. Those little whipper snappers barely flinched picking up the bag! You're now out a bunch of money (bidding on them from the internet) and you still can't stand up right!

I wish I had a fun final project to do at work.
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Final-Project-Comic.jpg


Granted, but you go about it amateurishly, and it really shows badly on your resume. This could be career limiting.

I wish I could delegate writing this stupid document I have to write.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Final-Project-Comic.jpg


Granted, but you go about it amateurishly, and it really shows badly on your resume. This could be career limiting.

I wish I could delegate writing this stupid document I have to write.
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Granted, but chimps only get it right once in a million and this wasn't the time. This shows badly on your resume.

I wish I could have found an Italian place for lunch, instead of Mexican. Pasta sounds good.
 
John221us said:
Granted, but chimps only get it right once in a million and this wasn't the time. This shows badly on your resume.

I wish I could have found an Italian place for lunch, instead of Mexican. Pasta sounds good.
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You must be in PA then, given the timing.

Okay Granted you found a pay-a-lot, get-a-little fancy Italian place with a foo-foo menu. You shell out $25 with tip and get:

otto-e-mezzo-bombana.jpg


That. I'm pretty sure that u-shaped object on the front left is a piece of macaroni. Couldn't tell you what the rest is but it doesn't matter because there is only enough for about five bites (if you count the two pieces of macaroni as separate bites.)

I wish I someone gave me a heads up that today was Secretary's Day before I had to make other plans for lunch. I guess I'm taking the admins to some overpriced foo-foo Italian restaurant that has stuff like the above.
 
Remember what happened to your secretary Melinda yesterday? Yeah, you get really bad looks toting her around to all the restaurants and propping her body up in the chair. At least she's incapable of eating her portion (being dead and all) and you get two tiny dishes.

I wish this rain/cloudiness would go away by tomorrow.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Sigh, it's hard being me.

Granted, but your History of Brewing Technology class required you to do a field trip to Milwaukee, where the weather is.... not so good. Not you screwed it up for all the rest of us. It's just not fair.

I wish I had a cold one sitting on my desk right now. Watching country music videos for wish corruptions makes me thirsty.
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ebykowsky said:
Remember what happened to your secretary Melinda yesterday? Yeah, you get really bad looks toting her around to all the restaurants and propping her body up in the chair. At least she's incapable of eating her portion (being dead and all) and you get two tiny dishes.

I wish this rain/cloudiness would go away by tomorrow.
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It really wasn't that bad. Overpriced yes, but I didn't leave hungry. I wouldn't go there on my own nickel though.

Okay, first you want it, now you don't. Whatever. So it turns in to sleet/cloudiness by tomorrow.

I wish I wasn't about to fall asleep now.
 
You actually fell asleep an hour ago and have been sleep-corrupting. Then, you start sleep-posting your opinions about various members on the forums and things get heated and ugly real fast.

I wish I had a use for this PTT switch that came with my DC's.
 
ebykowsky said:
You actually fell asleep an hour ago and have been sleep-corrupting. Then, you start sleep-posting your opinions about various members on the forums and things get heated and ugly real fast.

I wish I had a use for this PTT switch that came with my DC's.
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Granted, you never read the manual. If you did, you would realize it's a "Push That Thing" switch which serves no functional purpose but it installed to give pilots a sense of security in tense situations. It's psychological. Kind of like if you are about to experience intense pain, you bite down on a sock.

I wish whoever is in the bathroom would get out of it. If this keeps up I'm going to need to bite down on a sock.
 
Sorry, that's me in the bathroom. I'll come out after corrupting the toilet. You'll need to use a different bathroom after I'm through anyway.

I wish it my flying club would let me take the plane to SC for the summer.
 
ebykowsky said:
Sorry, that's me in the bathroom. I'll come out after corrupting the toilet. You'll need to use a different bathroom after I'm through anyway.

I wish it my flying club would let me take the plane to SC for the summer.
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Granted, but they will charge you a four hour daily minimum. The tab will run you slightly over $50,000. Plus they will require the flight down and back be with one of their CFI's, so throw in another couple grand for travel, lodging and flight time.

I wish the toilet was not corrupted.
 
Granted. I'm still trying to corrupt it, but it's gonna take another hour. At least I have POA to keep me busy.

I wish I could trade this stupid stress therapy switch for actual foam ear pads. There's just air in them.
 
ebykowsky said:
Granted. I'm still trying to corrupt it, but it's gonna take another hour. At least I have POA to keep me busy.

I wish I could trade this stupid stress therapy switch for actual foam ear pads. There's just air in them.
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Granted, you do better than that and get some DC gel ear pads for like 25 bucks. Way hella better than foam pads. You can even send your useless PTT switch to Sporty's for a trade if you want (although they will still charge you 25 bucks for the ear pads.)

I wish they made similar ones for Bose headsets.
 
Granted, they do, but they only come in hot pink. Because they are so comfortable, you find it irresistible not to wear them. It is hard to explain to your date, however.

I wish weather hadn't grounded our flight tonight.
 
Granted; I grounded it in a ditch prop-first instead.

I wish I could listen in on ATC on commercial flights with my headphones.
 
John221us said:
Granted, they do, but they only come in hot pink. Because they are so comfortable, you find it irresistible not to wear them. It is hard to explain to your date, however.

I wish weather hadn't grounded our flight tonight.
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Well, then granted, mechanical problems grounded it. Good thing you exercised proper preflight procedures. No corruption will result in an unsafe flight.

I wish I could have had some of that Mongolian BBQ. That looked good.
 
ebykowsky said:
Granted; I grounded it in a ditch prop-first instead.

I wish I could listen in on ATC on commercial flights with my headphones.
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Granted, you sneak your portable transceiver onto a commercial flight, but the male flight attendant catches you confiscates the radio and zip ties you to your seat. It looks like you will be hooking up with Bubba soon.


Sac Arrow said:
Well, then granted, mechanical problems grounded it. Good thing you exercised proper preflight procedures. No corruption will result in an unsafe flight.

I wish I could have had some of that Mongolian BBQ. That looked good.
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Granted, but it takes three days to ship it from Pittsburgh and by then it is pretty rancid. You end up at Mercy with a tube down your throat.

I wish my allergies weren't kicking up so bad.
 
Granted, allergies are gone but all those times when you were in the pen with Bubba?

Well, you are going to have a baby Bubba. It's kicking up pretty bad.

I wish I didn't eat at midnight when I got up to get a drink of water.
 
Granted, but you drank whiskey, instead of water. A lot of it; and found your self wandering the streets outside, until you passed out in some back alley in Oakland. When you woke up, some strange stray dog was peeing on you and your wallet was missing.

I wish the parking was better in Pittsburgh. It seems to only be street parking and good luck finding a spot.
 
Granted; there's plenty of parking for your bicycle. Good luck hauling equipment and getting to the airport for your flight out (I've done that actually, but with the closer airport).

I wish I had a more substantial breakfast.
 
ebykowsky said:
Granted; there's plenty of parking for your bicycle. Good luck hauling equipment and getting to the airport for your flight out (I've done that actually, but with the closer airport).

I wish I had a more substantial breakfast.
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Granted, you went out to eat here:

Bonded_warehouse.JPG


And you "pig out" on hog chow. Forty pounds of it. How I don't know, I don't think you could hold it all.

I wish I could find a better map app for the iPad. I want to plug in specific routes to get the distance stats. Not just the one way routes it chooses.
 
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Granted, you buy ForeFlight and it lets you enter any route you want.

I wish I had some Jameson.
 
There you go.....

Jameson+Taillon.jpg


Have fun.

I wish I hadn't ran over a razor sharp cotter pin near the end of my 50 mile ride.
 
Granted, it wasn't razor sharp, more like "sharp as a tack". In any case, the results were the same.

I wish my trip hadn't been extended. I won't be home until Saturday, now.
 
Granted. The boss has been snooping around on the internet records for the company you're working for. He finds out you've been POAing excessively on the job. You're promptly fired and put on the next bus home (they refuse to pay for a flight.)

I wish that run had mad me sleepy.
 
ebykowsky said:
Granted. The boss has been snooping around on the internet records for the company you're working for. He finds out you've been POAing excessively on the job. You're promptly fired and put on the next bus home (they refuse to pay for a flight.)

I wish that run had mad me sleepy.
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Granted, the runs make you very sleepy. Unfortunately, you don't make it out of bed and to the bathroom in time.

I wish I didn't have to pry open a brand new barrel of wish corruptions. I'm tired of digging to the bottom of the old one.
 
OK, whatever that means... you pull out a brand new barrel of corrupted wishes--just like fresh ice cream. Only this ice cream is, well, corrupted. It's teeming with flies, maggots, and worms. You take a bite to see how it is and end up swallowing a handful of lamprey eels that were hiding in there. Talk about a jacked up stomach! You "pass" one the next day, and when it comes out, it grabs hold of your man parts and won't let go. Shoulda played it safe with the old barrel.

I wish public bathrooms were nicer and more private.
 
ebykowsky said:
OK, whatever that means... you pull out a brand new barrel of corrupted wishes--just like fresh ice cream. Only this ice cream is, well, corrupted. It's teeming with flies, maggots, and worms. You take a bite to see how it is and end up swallowing a handful of lamprey eels that were hiding in there. Talk about a jacked up stomach! You "pass" one the next day, and when it comes out, it grabs hold of your man parts and won't let go. Shoulda played it safe with the old barrel.

I wish public bathrooms were nicer and more private.
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Granted, after trying to resist Bubba's advances, they throw you in an isolation cell (publicly owned) and it has a toilet right in the middle.

I wish things had gone a little smoother on my go live this morning.
 
John221us said:
Granted, after trying to resist Bubba's advances, they throw you in an isolation cell (publicly owned) and it has a toilet right in the middle.

I wish things had gone a little smoother on my go live this morning.
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"Broadcasting from downtown Pittsburg, the Go Live crew introduces you to our next dance contestant, from Rocklin, California, John Two Twenty One United States! Break it down for us John..."

(Barry Manilow music score begins to play, then abruptly stops two minutes in to the performance...)

"Very smooth, very smooth John, I'll have to admit. But, this is a break dance contest. Looks like we're going to have to move on to our next contestant, from Long Beach, California, B. Moe Likemea, sorry about the prize money...."

I wish I did burgers for lunch instead of salad.
 
Sac Arrow said:
"Broadcasting from downtown Pittsburg, the Go Live crew introduces you to our next dance contestant, from Rocklin, California, John Two Twenty One United States! Break it down for us John..."

(Barry Manilow music score begins to play, then abruptly stops two minutes in to the performance...)

"Very smooth, very smooth John, I'll have to admit. But, this is a break dance contest. Looks like we're going to have to move on to our next contestant, from Long Beach, California, B. Moe Likemea, sorry about the prize money...."

I wish I did burgers for lunch instead of salad.
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Granted, but they only had veggie burgers. The kind made from beans. You pound down three of those patties. It looks like you are sleeping alone tonight.

I wish my hotel had a bar.
 
Well there you go:

hotel-prison-allemagne.jpg


You can basically get hammered, violate a law, and get locked up without ever leaving your stool.

(Except Bubba may cause you to leave your stool)

I wish my office had a bar. I mean, something more than a few bottles of wine and scotch on my bookshelf.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Well there you go:

hotel-prison-allemagne.jpg


You can basically get hammered, violate a law, and get locked up without ever leaving your stool.

(Except Bubba may cause you to leave your stool)

I wish my office had a bar. I mean, something more than a few bottles of wine and scotch on my bookshelf.
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Well, that's disturbing.

Granted, you now have to share a desk with the receptionist, because they rent your office out and convert it to a bar.

I wish I could win the Lotto. It looks like another pricey annual.
 
John221us said:
Well, that's disturbing.

Granted, you now have to share a desk with the receptionist, because they rent your office out and convert it to a bar.

I wish I could win the Lotto. It looks like another pricey annual.
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Granted, you won a Belgian cycling team....

2008_tour_de_france_mario_aerts_yaroslav_popovych_silence_lotto.jpg


Not exactly sure what you're going to do with 28 sweaty dudes, but my guess is that housing them, feeding them, funding their gear and bike maintenance, monthly "medical" treatments and transportation to and from race events is going to be quite costly, possibly more than your annual.

I wish the programmers of online course software would make the interfaces less cryptic.
 
Sac Arrow said:
Granted, you won a Belgian cycling team....

2008_tour_de_france_mario_aerts_yaroslav_popovych_silence_lotto.jpg


Not exactly sure what you're going to do with 28 sweaty dudes, but my guess is that housing them, feeding them, funding their gear and bike maintenance, monthly "medical" treatments and transportation to and from race events is going to be quite costly, possibly more than your annual.

I wish the programmers of online course software would make the interfaces less cryptic.
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Granted, you sign up for an online course that is in English, rather than Cantonese and you find it less cryptic. Unfortunately, it covers advanced techniques in needlepoint. Of course you might like that stuff, so maybe it is interesting.

I wish I could sleep in tomorrow.
 
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