Aviation vs wife? pros and cons please.

If I look back on my entire life, the only real regret I actually have is that of marrying the wrong woman. If I had it to do all over again, that is the only significant alteration I would make.

It is said that after a divorce, if you remarry fairly soon, it is a compliment to your ex. It means you did enjoy being married. I never could bring myself to try it again, and never did.

I do know I should have listened to my friends who were entirely against my brilliant (I thought at the time) idea to marry her.

Tread carefully, try to think real hard about what you are about to do. You are rapidly approaching the point of no return. The person you marry should be the person who reinforces you and inspires you on to greater things, is part of your life, not a critical spectator of it. (That, by the way, is a two way street.)

-John
 
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Flying is a life style. Travel, exploring, weekend trips, vacations planned around flying. If you don't share that same desire, don't do it.
Take it from me, currently going through a divorce. The airplane and everything around it sits at the center of our issues. If flying is in your blood, your spouse needs to share this on some level. At minimum any future mate of mine will #1 not be afraid to fly with me, and #2 have the desire to explore via small plane.

Good luck. If its a problem now, you can bet its gonna be a bigger problem later.
 
JoeSelch said:
I love reading these occasional threads ... reminds me of how fortunate I am to love being single. :)
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I love reading these occasional threads...reminds me of how fortunate I am to love a woman with good relationship skills. If one has to give up something one really loves for a relationship, one is in the wrong relationship.
 
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MassPilot said:
I just started dating someone who seemed interested in flying with me until her father convinced her how dangerous small planes are. He's an MD-80 captain and a former Air Force T-38 instructor so of course she gives him more credit on the topic than me. Oh well. No way am I going to stop flying, I just wish she would tag along.
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Pretty sure giving dual instruction in a T-38 is substantially more dangerous than giving dual in a C152.

That said I know a lot of GA pilots and I know the accident stats. I would be very hesitant to let a family member to go flying with anyone I have not flown with before (and deemed competent/safe).

My advice to you is to continue to improve and maybe one day down the road ask the old man if he wants to go flying and give you some pointers.. maybe you're working on an instrument rating and need a safety pilot, whatever.
 
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just asking for people's toughts about how they cope with flying and Significant Other. I am pretty much stoked I am marrying her and she has always motivated and supported me to be better in anything I do. The only concern she has about me flying is getting on a wreck, but for me if I am going to die I rather do it on a plane, saving someone, like a true gentleman.
 
steingar said:
I love reading these occasional threads...reminds me of how fortunate I am to love a woman with good relationship skills. If one has to give up someone one really loves for a relationship, one is in the wrong relationship.
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Well said.
 
My wife doesn't want to fly, but doesn't care that I do. "That's your thing," is what she says to me. She even said I can buy/build a plane. I got lucky.
 
yea if it truly is 'aviation vs. wife' like the title says you need to be prepared for one of them to win. if you think that aviation will win then it might be a good idea to take the opportunity now to find a different potential wife as it is a lot easier to split now than it will be after june.
 
cirrusmx said:
just asking for people's toughts about how they cope with flying and Significant Other. I am pretty much stoked I am marrying her and she has always motivated and supported me to be better in anything I do. The only concern she has about me flying is getting on a wreck, but for me if I am going to die I rather do it on a plane, saving someone, like a true gentleman.
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They don't change in my experience. If she dislikes it today, she will dislike it 10 or 20 years from now.

At a minimum, you better look for and even ask for respect for your interest. If you don't have that you are well and truly screwed. She is either going to accept your interest and the concomintant cost which can be significant, or she won't and it'll be a thorn for the rest of your days.

My wife has no interest in 'aviation', but she likes to fly around with me and get places faster than a car with the extra privacy of GA. She supports my interest by encouraging me to get a plane, and become proficient in it. Most importantly she recognizes that I am not selfish in that I would take things away from the family exclusively for me. We fly together as often as possible.
 
The missus wasn't ever a huge fan of little planes but flew for 40+ years with little fuss. Then I sold the plane she had come to trust over 19 years and she didn't like the A-36. Climbing up the wing and falling in the hole and screwing with the door handle that she always thought worked backwards wasn't her idea of a good time so she quit cold turkey. I'm not sure she could pick my current plane out of a lineup.



docmirror said:
They don't change in my experience. If she dislikes it today, she will dislike it 10 or 20 years from now.

At a minimum, you better look for and even ask for respect for your interest. If you don't have that you are well and truly screwed. She is either going to accept your interest and the concomintant cost which can be significant, or she won't and it'll be a thorn for the rest of your days.

My wife has no interest in 'aviation', but she likes to fly around with me and get places faster than a car with the extra privacy of GA. She supports my interest by encouraging me to get a plane, and become proficient in it. Most importantly she recognizes that I am not selfish in that I would take things away from the family exclusively for me. We fly together as often as possible.
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My wife decided to take a sewing class and thought it would be a good idea for me to take a class at the continuing education sessions the local school department runs, so she gave me the catalog and said to pick a class.

I chose Private Pilot ground school.

That was the most expensive mistake she ever made.

And here is the obligatory comparison when choosing between airplanes and women.


  • Airplanes usually kill you quickly; a woman takes her time.
  • Airplanes can be turned on by a flick of a switch.
  • Airplanes don't get mad if you do a "touch and go."
  • Airplanes don't object to a pre-flight inspection.
  • Airplanes come with a manual to explain their operation.
  • Airplanes have strict weight and balance limitations.
  • Airplanes can be flown at any time of the month.
  • Airplanes don't come with in-laws.
  • Airplanes don't care about how many other airplanes you've flow before.
  • Airplanes and pilots both arrive at the same time.
  • Airplanes don't mind if you look at other airplanes.
  • Airplanes don't mind if you buy airplane magazines.
  • Airplanes expect to be tied down.
  • Airplanes don't comment on your piloting skills.
  • Airplanes don't whine unless something is really wrong.
  • However, when airplanes go quiet, just like women, it's usually not good.
 
Aviation vs. Wife?

Looks like you're about to have both a crack and heroin addiction simultaneously (cost wise) until one or the other wins out.:lol:
 
If you even have to ask yourself that question then you need to find yourself a different wife.
 
Good luck to both of you, it'll be work but if you both really want it, it'll be well worth it.

As far as the aviation & marriage combination goes - I hope you've told he what it means to you so that she knows what she's getting into. But it'll still be up to you to find the balance.
 
Make sure she is happy. Happy wife = happy life. Unhappy wife -->unhappy life.
 
Steve Foley said:
My wife decided to take a sewing class and thought it would be a good idea for me to take a class at the continuing education sessions the local school department runs, so she gave me the catalog and said to pick a class.

I chose Private Pilot ground school.

That was the most expensive mistake she ever made.

And here is the obligatory comparison when choosing between airplanes and women.



  • Airplanes usually kill you quickly; a woman takes her time.
  • Airplanes can be turned on by a flick of a switch.
  • Airplanes don't get mad if you do a "touch and go."
  • Airplanes don't object to a pre-flight inspection.
  • Airplanes come with a manual to explain their operation.
  • Airplanes have strict weight and balance limitations.
  • Airplanes can be flown at any time of the month.
  • Airplanes don't come with in-laws.
  • Airplanes don't care about how many other airplanes you've flow before.
  • Airplanes and pilots both arrive at the same time.
  • Airplanes don't mind if you look at other airplanes.
  • Airplanes don't mind if you buy airplane magazines.
  • Airplanes expect to be tied down.
  • Airplanes don't comment on your piloting skills.
  • Airplanes don't whine unless something is really wrong.
  • However, when airplanes go quiet, just like women, it's usually not good.
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:rofl::rofl::rofl:
 
cirrusmx said:
Again, I started the thread because it seems here that everyone is divorced.:rofl::rofl::rofl:
:yes::yes:
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Not divorced...a widower...my former wife didn't like to fly at all but when I mentioned that I wanted to buy a plane and learn to fly, she said. "If you are going to buy a plane, buy a John Deere, not a Murray."

I do miss that woman. :yes:
 
wabower said:
The missus wasn't ever a huge fan of little planes but flew for 40+ years with little fuss. Then I sold the plane she had come to trust over 19 years and she didn't like the A-36. Climbing up the wing and falling in the hole and screwing with the door handle that she always thought worked backwards wasn't her idea of a good time so she quit cold turkey. I'm not sure she could pick my current plane out of a lineup.
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All Bonanzas are fork tailed doctor killers. The A36 just has a three tine fork.
 
Not sure why you get the impression everyone is divorced here? Here is another happily married guy (16 years) and to someone who doesn't really like planes. It can be done. I wouldn't want to be married to a pilot actually. At least I don't have to bicker over who gets to log PIC, or who is the better pilot ;)
 
Heck - through perseverence and stubborness we managed to last 27 years so far.
 
cirrusmx said:
I ran some numbers a few months ago and realized that a kid costs about the same per year as a small plane. So I went ahead and told the gf that we will have one less kid than what we can afford. she understood!!!
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Sure, she doesn't have to carry the plane for 9 months and then give birth to it!
 
were you planning on feeding, housing, and clothing that hypothetical kid?
 
I think I can illustrate bad relationship skills with how I got the airplane. I had a job opportunity in Hawaii. I told my Mrs, and she said no way. She wasn't going to Hawaii, forget it. Every cold day for the first winter of in the frozen north I complained to her that had it not been for her I'd be living in Hawaii.

Fast forward a year, I told her that if she didn't raise a fuss over me buying an airplane, I'd never mention Hawaii again (turns out for the best, the job would not have been a good one).

The tale of how I got the sport bike was one of good relationship skills. I took her with to buy it, and she took one look and said I was out of my mind. I told her she could have veto power and I wouldn't object. She didn't, saying she didn't want to get in the way of what I want. Thing has made me a far better rider, too.

Oh, and coming up on 19 years next week. Might even make it to 20 if I can remember exactly which day.
 
Of the bike, or what?

steingar said:
Thing has made me a far better rider, too.

Oh, and coming up on 19 years next week. Might even make it to 20 if I can remember exactly which day.
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cirrusmx said:
Again, I started the thread because it seems here that everyone is divorced.:rofl::rofl::rofl:
:yes::yes:
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Widowed after 25 glorious years but happily remarried for the last 5 years to my best friend and non-pilot flying companion although she has recently been toying with the idea of giving it a go for herself. I have only ever peripherally mentioned her taking the plunge. For us it is totally a lifestyle decision. We have family scattered all over Texas and the contiguous states so it's a way for us to spend more time with them than we ever could by car. My wife also happens to be a widow (just a coincidence) and several years ago I survived a heart attack so neither of us are too bothered about how much money it takes to enjoy the organic connections with our family. And on that topic, whenever I am asked by my non-aviator friends how much money it takes to own our own airplane, my response is an unequivocal, "why, all of it of course." So from the beginning you two need to decide if you can agree on whether the lifestyle is for you. You have to decide for yourself first though if you are an aviator, or not, because if you discover that you are indeed an aviator then the discussion with your prospective bride about the lifestyle should be easier, that is, your decision to share the rest of your life with her should be less difficult. You definitely need to find out before the dress is ordered.
 
bbchien said:
Make sure she is happy. Happy wife = happy life. Unhappy wife -->unhappy life.
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Absolutely. 39 years for us.

I learned to fly later in our marriage. I had wanted to learn to fly since I was young, but for years I either had the time or the money, but not both. Then we were the high bidders for a sightseeing ride in a fundraiser in church. When my wife found out we could fly across the state in about 2 hours, as opposed to the 5 1/2 to 6 hours to drive she thought that maybe I should learn to fly. I wasted no time. Then, after a number of canceled flights due to weather she thought maybe I should get my IR. That took a while longer for a number of reasons, but I got that done.

Now the trick is to keep her happy when she complains, "All you want to do is fly!". :D

Best of luck to you. A long and happy marriage can be had, but both sides must want it and work on it. It doesn't just happen.
 
My wife has veto power on all purchases. She never uses it. Usually, she tells me to buy things I want but won't buy.

Choose wisely when picking who to spend your life with.
 
Yeah but you cheated during the selection process.

Ted DuPuis said:
My wife has veto power on all purchases. She never uses it. Usually, she tells me to buy things I want but won't buy.

Choose wisely when picking who to spend your life with.
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Gubbins said:
Wondering how you're going to force her into a small plane... :yikes:

(PS don't do that :D )
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denverpilot said:
Wives are really hard to stuff into those big animal carriers. I hear putting a beer inside helps lure them in.
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I dunno about a beer. Maybe toss a Coach bag in there.

A ring, however, will keep them in the kitchen! :rofl::rofl::rofl:
 

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