You have to admit, they are creative

Discussion in 'Hangar Talk' started by Sac Arrow, Dec 3, 2017.

  1. Sac Arrow

    Sac Arrow Touchdown! Greaser!

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    So, here is my daily routine on the weekends. I get up around five (which, really, to me, is six since I refuse to play ball with the winter time change), go to the gym, and then chill out in the supermarket for a coffee prior to heading home. You might think, chill out in the supermarket? How pathetic. Perhaps, but, it's literally right next door and Coffee Girl Amber has a most excellent rear view. Heck, the little table seating area in front of the window is more homie (you see what I did there) than Starbucks across the street. I sipped my iced coffee through a straw while checking book sales stats on the phone. They were pretty depressing. Finally, I was done, leaving Coffee Girl Amber to her task of decorating a cake. The bakery doubles as the coffee station. But that isn't important, so don't worry about it.

    As I walked back across the frontage sidewalk to where I was parked in front of the gym, an odd item caught my eye. It was a potato. It was just laying there, on the ground, under the canopy at the far edge of the supermarket. You know, the place where the homeless hang out nights until security kicks them out in the morning. Granted, this is a supermarket, and a supermarket is a logical place to contain potatoes, but it seemed like an odd place to leave a potato. It's not like it was in a place normally trafficked by a shopper where the potato would have fell from a cart or a shopping bag. Then I looked at in more closely.

    What, the heck. IT WAS A POTATO BONG! well, more accurately, a pipe. Someone carved two holes in it; one to place the dope, and the other from which to smoke it.

    IMG_3705.JPG
     
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  2. Ryanb

    Ryanb Final Approach PoA Supporter

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    Only in California :biggrin:
     
  3. Clark1961

    Clark1961 Touchdown! Greaser!

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    The real question here is why would the Sac closely examine a stray potato? I could understand a strawberry, tomato or perhaps a chile but a potato?
     
  4. mscard88

    mscard88 Ejection Handle Pulled

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    LOL just showed this to my wife, who is still laughing here ass off. She said she has seen people use apples for bongs too. But I know nothing of that now, had to be before my time with her.
     
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  5. mscard88

    mscard88 Ejection Handle Pulled

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    Sac probably initially thought that the Amazon driver who pooped in a neighborhood (another thread) had deposited one there too, mistaking the potato for a big turd. :)
     
  6. Let'sgoflying!

    Let'sgoflying! Touchdown! Greaser!

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    Don't mess with stray potatoes. Could easily be a potato bomb.
     
  7. Ravioli

    Ravioli En-Route

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    ROFL.

    [Can't stop thinking about the old joke about the guys on the beach with the punchline "The potato goes in the front"]
     
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  8. Sac Arrow

    Sac Arrow Touchdown! Greaser!

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    Love it. Stray Potatoes. Sounds like a great name for a band.
     
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  9. mscard88

    mscard88 Ejection Handle Pulled

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    Thought that was a banana...
     
  10. Ravioli

    Ravioli En-Route

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    Almost forgot: Talk about a "loaded potato."
     
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  11. SkyDog58

    SkyDog58 Final Approach

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    So do you smoke potato buds in that?
     
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  12. mscard88

    mscard88 Ejection Handle Pulled

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    Well yeah man...
     
  13. asicer

    asicer Pattern Altitude

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    Nah. Colorado was first.
     
  14. mscard88

    mscard88 Ejection Handle Pulled

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    Legally or illegally? :D
     
  15. rtk11

    rtk11 Line Up and Wait

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    First question that comes to mind: What did Amber’s front look like? Equally pleasing? This is very relevant.

    Next question: How does Sac know what a bong looks like, or how it functions? And how would Sac know about potato bongs?

    Third question: Why would Sac approach an object that, from a distance, looks like a turd from a medium sized animal?

    Honestly, my first look at the potato had me guessing a crow was pecking at it. But I’ve not seen a crow try to eat a raw vegetable before.

    In all seriousness... good eye to catch and associate it as a bong. I would have missed that association all together.
     
  16. Salty

    Salty Pattern Altitude

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    Who do I talk to about the 5 minutes I wasted reading this?
     
  17. Clark1961

    Clark1961 Touchdown! Greaser!

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    Your psychiatrist. You’ll have to report tha conversation on your next medical app.
     
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  18. azblackbird

    azblackbird Cleared for Takeoff

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    Potatoes are pretty useful. Besides being a "poor mans" mary jane pipe, many of your DIY gold refiners use them as crucibles. ;)

     
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  19. mscard88

    mscard88 Ejection Handle Pulled

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    I'll eat a raw potato occasionally. Not just grab one, peel and eat it, but when wife is cutting them up for dinner, I'll grab a piece (see what I did thar) or three and eat 'em. Funny thing is I won't eat them when she mashes them or roasts them. About the only other way I'll eat a cooked potato is a baked potato.
     
  20. Ravioli

    Ravioli En-Route

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    Yourself. You're the only one who listens to you on petty ****.
     
  21. mscard88

    mscard88 Ejection Handle Pulled

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    But he was forced to read it wasn't he? o_O
     
  22. Sac Arrow

    Sac Arrow Touchdown! Greaser!

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  23. JOhnH

    JOhnH Touchdown! Greaser!

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    Do crows cook their vegetables where you live?
     
  24. Clark1961

    Clark1961 Touchdown! Greaser!

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    Crows are quite clever animals...
     
  25. Sac Arrow

    Sac Arrow Touchdown! Greaser!

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    Our crows sautee them in wine reduction sauce.
     
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  26. Skyrys62

    Skyrys62 Pattern Altitude

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    You can get those at Buds 'n Spuds.
    Or the curved yellow kind at Cannibu-nana
     
  27. Clark1961

    Clark1961 Touchdown! Greaser!

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    Spudbong.com has kits for creating your own potato bongs. Use the potato of your choice. No need to use a traditional russet when a red or gold can be used for a unique experience.
     
  28. mscard88

    mscard88 Ejection Handle Pulled

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    What about sweet potato, that's usually the only potato I eat.
     
  29. rtk11

    rtk11 Line Up and Wait

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    Naw, they prefer squirrel or Fifi carpaccio, but if forced, they’ll do a ratatouille or mirepoix.
     
  30. SkyHog

    SkyHog Touchdown! Greaser!

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    Maybe it’s a male sex toy for two - one with a small penis and one with a micro penis.
     
  31. Skyrys62

    Skyrys62 Pattern Altitude

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    Studs 'n Spuds?

    nah, the sizes are all wrong...
     
  32. MauleSkinner

    MauleSkinner En-Route

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    You've got it backwards...summer Daylight Savings Time is the "fake" time.
     
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  33. mscard88

    mscard88 Ejection Handle Pulled

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    Well Sac is in California... ;)
     
  34. MauleSkinner

    MauleSkinner En-Route

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    True...I keep forgetting about California...and people like you keep forcing me to remember it exists! ;)
     
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  35. mscard88

    mscard88 Ejection Handle Pulled

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    Well you mention "fake time", and he is in CA.
     
  36. Sac Arrow

    Sac Arrow Touchdown! Greaser!

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    Do you really enjoy darkness at 5:30 p.m.?
     
  37. Skyrys62

    Skyrys62 Pattern Altitude

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    Sunset at 4:30 pm here and I hate it.
     
  38. MauleSkinner

    MauleSkinner En-Route

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    Doesn't matter what I enjoy...that has no effect on what the baseline is.
     
  39. cgrab

    cgrab Cleared for Takeoff

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    Wow, I've been protecting my TS/SCI clearance for the last 40 years so you guys are really opening my eyes to stuff in the real world. Now that I'm retired I'm really thinking about branching out.
     
  40. Sac Arrow

    Sac Arrow Touchdown! Greaser!

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    Well the baseline is wrong.