The Responsibility Weighs on me

[JeffinNV]

I have about 34 hours in now towards my PPL.
After my first few lessons something began to bother me, I commented to a friend that "tomorrow I have to go flying".
I thought that was strange, that I felt I "had to go", not that I "got to go".

I continued my lessons while evaluating my feelings towards flying, something was bothering me but I didn't want to quit without figuring out what.
Also, I had bought a block of 40 hours, I wanted to use them up regardless of whether I got my license or not.

I finally figured out it was the responsibility. While I'm flying with my CFI of course he's the responsible party, if anything goes wrong I can turn the controls over to him and he'll do his best to deal with it.
I was realizing that I did not want that responsibility. It felt like work. I had similar responsibility at work and haven't missed it since I've retired.

I had a good flying lesson today, some things are coming together and I find myself wondering if I should continue.
If I don't think about the worst case scenario happening while I'm flying I can relax.

That doesn't feel realistic to me. I feel I have to acknowledge the consequences, in order to be prepared should something go wrong.

How do others deal with this?

I have friends who are pilots that tell me to get more experience, it will help.
I can see it helping with knowing my options and dealing with an inflight emergency, I can't see it helping with those thoughts taking the joy out of flying.

If flying is a chore I'm not as likely to fly often, if I don't fly often I won't develop or retain the skills necessary to deal with in flight emergencies.

 

[wellknow]

experience

 

[Ed Haywood]

We all go through some of that. Well, most of us. Those who do not feel the weight of responsibility for the lives in their hands probably should not be flying.

Only you can decide if the joy of flying or the satisfaction of successfully handling that responsibility outweighs the added stress.

If the answer is no, there's no shame in that. Many people get their PPL and never fly again. They are still pilots.

For the others, a lifelong commitment to learning and improving your skills keeps the stress at bay and allows you to keep feeling the joy and satisfaction.

 

[Racerx]

More than once did a I hope weather would cancel a flight during training. I love flying and learning about flying. But flying with an instructor was a different feeling

 

[jayhawk74]

I have a college classmate who dropped out of Navy Pilot Training to become an NFO (he endend up as an A-6 BN). He was on track to get his Pilot wings but didn't want the responsibility of being a pilot.

 

[Tools]

What ya really gotta figure out is whether those feelings come on because of your innate personality, or because you don’t really have much experience.

It could be either. The only one you can change is the experience.

Very very rare for a guy to quit pilot to become a NFO, but he made the right decision probably.

Try and fail, but don’t fail to try! It’s a very valid question.

 

[Brad Z]

Imagine learning how to drive as an adult, having never sat in a car or even really seen one up close.

Then after a couple of lessons you’re on the freeway. You’re speeding by other cars, just feet away, with 150mph closure rates. You’re thinking “how could anyone do such a thing?”

Most of us weren’t born into flying. It’s a weird, foreign place with an extra dimension we’ve never had to experience before, in an object that can’t come to a stop until it’s safely on the ground.

I’m more concerned about the folks who don’t feel a little anxiety. That feeling shouldn't be paralyzing, but it should help you to form good habits and a systematic and healthy approach to safety.

The way to get through this is repetition, exposure, and a careful expansion of your comfort zone.

Good luck and have fun!

 

[Gilbert Buettner]

If flying is a chore I'm not as likely to fly often, if I don't fly often I won't develop or retain the skills necessary to deal with in flight emergencies.

I never wanted to be a pilot, but I joined the Air Force to avoid the draft in 1967. Flying is not a chore... it is a joy for me. And I think it is for most pilots. It truly changed my life and is still a joy at age 80. How many other things can you imagine make us feel that way?

 

[Daleandee]

After you successfully handle a few in flight emergencies (both major & minor) your experience and confidence will build. If you are truly a safety conscience pilot then you will always have a touch of trepidation about leaving the ground with the responsibility of the safety of flight, especially with passengers.

I've been blessed to survive a low level engine out (lower the nose, hard slip into a field), a trace of smoke in the cockpit (was oil smoke from a breather line that became disconnected in flight), and even a self induced error (I found myself in some pretty good turbulence and discovered that while being tossed around the cockpit I had forgotten to fasten my seat belts).

I also love motorcycle riding and have done so for years. I don't often carry passengers as on the bike things can get ugly really fast. The beauty of flying is that in many cases there appears to be some amount of time to work the problem ... if the pilot is well trained & remains calm. I've heard it said that nothing should happen fast in an airplane. That isn't to say that things aren't performed quickly but taking a moment to access the situation before a knee jerk reaction seems to be the key to much success.

I trust that as you continue to learn that you will also discover that part of the training is what to do when & if ...

 

[SixPapaCharlie]

I have never thought of flying as a chore. It is a tool that creates adventure.
I certainly had moments where I was like "There is a lot riding on me not effing up" especially with family on board.

Even now, I have different minimums when I have family on board vs. when I am alone. I don't fly in IMC or marginal conditions with the kids on board. I'm instrument rated.
I just prefer fewer variables with family onboard.

I'd say at your low hours, this is normal and it is actually pretty healthy to keep that dose of reality in the back of your mind. It is ignoring that that gets macho pilots killed.
Keep at it unless you really determine that those thoughts are going to impair your ability to safely fly the plane. Knock out your next block of 40 and see how you feel then.

 

[Albany Tom]

I'm going to take a guess again. I'm maybe 50/50 for that, so take it with a grain of salt. You mention that you're retired. You mention that you see the responsibility of flying as a burden. I get the concern about responsibility, but it doesn't match up to me with someone that is retired...because as someone that's closing in on retirement age myself, I see a retired person as someone that's probably had a lot of responsibility in their life, and that's probably been pretty good at it.

So my guess is that it's not so much the responsibility as not wanting to be responsible for a situation where you don't have the experience or confidence. Because you're probably driving to the airport, and that takes some responsibility. If you're driving on 2 lane highways you're a second away from a serious collision.

If I'm close, my suggestion is similar to those above. Change the goal from "obtain pilot's license" to "learn how to fly". Don't put yourself under any pressure to solo until you feel like you're ready, and same with your checkride. You're retired, your time is yours. Enjoy the flying, and don't let anyone push you. Just my 2 cents, as somebody that started flying in my late 40's, and took my time.

 

[RyanShort1]

I finally figured out it was the responsibility. While I'm flying with my CFI of course he's the responsible party, if anything goes wrong I can turn the controls over to him and he'll do his best to deal with it.
I was realizing that I did not want that responsibility. It felt like work. I had similar responsibility at work and haven't missed it since I've retired.

I tell all of my students pre-solo, that by training to be a pilot, they are asking to be the captain, and that they MUST have that mindset even when I am training them. If you don't feel like being a captain, flying probably isn't a good fit.

I had a good flying lesson today, some things are coming together and I find myself wondering if I should continue.
If I don't think about the worst case scenario happening while I'm flying I can relax.

That doesn't feel realistic to me. I feel I have to acknowledge the consequences, in order to be prepared should something go wrong.

I think that's nearly the opposite of how I feel. I can't relax unless I know that I'm proficient in the things that I need to be able to perform in case of an emergency. I relax when I feel like my skill level is adequate for a survivable emergency and then I have fun by flying the airplane more precisely. And yes, showing the airplane the proper respect is important, kind of like your saying acknowledging the consequences.

How do others deal with this?

There's an interesting quote that I heard a while back that says that masculinity is "the glad assumption of sacrificial responsibility" and I don't think that's far off. Holding yourself to higher standards, assuming the decision-making of being the captain, and working to maintain the highest level of proficiency that can be expected at your level of training is the best solution.

Wait until you start sending students solo! When you send someone's very successful husband, dad, grandfather, bread-winner, business-owner up solo and all of those people depend on him for their quality of life, that's some responsibility.

 

[midlifeflyer]

What ya really gotta figure out is whether those feelings come on because of your innate personality, or because you don’t really have much experience.

This.

Only you know, but I fear you may have answered your own question when you said

I had similar responsibility at work and haven't missed it since I've retired.

Flying is different, but if you mean your career responsibilities were a significant negative in your life, this may indicate experience is not the issue.

 

[Jim K]

Lots of good advice in this thread. I'll just add.....flying is not for everybody.

I get imposter syndrome about a lot of things, but flying has never been one of them. Fly little airplanes long enough, and you'll eventually be in a life or death situation. It is a big responsibility, and if you can't accept that, there's always boating. I wouldn't try to talk someone out of flying unless I thought they were dangerous, but if it feels like a chore you aren't going to do it, and flying is a perishable skill. Perhaps getting some more confidence in the plane will allow you relax, but only you know if it's important enough to you to spend the money to find out.

 

[rhkennerly]

You’re skill building, layering on experience one hour at a time, building confidence. In truth, you’re not actually responsible for much: yourself and the plane. If you crash you’ll probably die, so you’ll not be a burden. If it’s the plane, that’s the insurance company’s. You can control the risk. Don’t fly with passengers or into big airports, for instance. So what exactly are you worried about?

I say it’s all about balancing challenging yourself and managing regrets. If you don’t enjoy the physical, mental, and intellectual challenge of being a pilot, then that’s one thing. If you are thinking in the back of your mind that you if you don’t finish that it will haunt you, that’s another.

 

[Albany Tom]

You’re skill building, layering on experience one hour at a time, building confidence. In truth, you’re not actually responsible for much: yourself and the plane. If you crash you’ll probably die, so you’ll not be a burden. If it’s the plane, that’s the insurance company’s. You can control the risk. Don’t fly with passengers or into big airports, for instance. So what exactly are you worried about?

I say it’s all about balancing challenging yourself and managing regrets. If you don’t enjoy the physical, mental, and intellectual challenge of being a pilot, then that’s one thing. If you are thinking in the back of your mind that you if you don’t finish that it will haunt you, that’s another.

I agree with probably 90+% of this, but if you're flying a light fixed wing aircraft, and you maintain control of that aircraft most of the way before even an actual crash, I'm pretty sure the odds are in favor of surviving. One saying by a famous guy was "fly it as far as possible into the crash". And if the engine fails and you have an off airport landing, the odds go up even higher. I know of two pilots personally who had off-airport landings and just walked away without injury. Similarly to the first part, I've not met them, but know of two local pilots who made mistakes and had accidents during the take off or landing portion of flight, where the aircraft was damaged beyond repair, but they were either not injured or not seriously injured.

I don't want to minimize the risk, I think it's roughly similar to that of riding a motorcycle, but at the same time I don't see it as likely fatal on the outcome. Exceptions being a few specific things - spin at pattern altitude, VFR into IFR, etc., where your odds go way down.

 

[RyanShort1]

I agree with probably 90+% of this, but if you're flying a light fixed wing aircraft, and you maintain control of that aircraft most of the way before even an actual crash, I'm pretty sure the odds are in favor of surviving. One saying by a famous guy was "fly it as far as possible into the crash". And if the engine fails and you have an off airport landing, the odds go up even higher. I know of two pilots personally who had off-airport landings and just walked away without injury. Similarly to the first part, I've not met them, but know of two local pilots who made mistakes and had accidents during the take off or landing portion of flight, where the aircraft was damaged beyond repair, but they were either not injured or not seriously injured.

Yeah, if your skill level is decent, that's very, very true. I've walked away from two belly landings induced by mechanical failures - one where the airplane was flying again in less than a week, and an engine out into a field as well as several other emergencies including an in-flight fire that were flyable back to an airport.

 

[Gary Ward]

It took me about 100 hrs to get my PPL. 1.5 years worth at 56 years old. I asked my instructor if he ever thought I could pass my check ride? He said yes with enough time and he was right, I passed 1st try. Didn't think I would ever get there, had no idea how many hours it was going to take. I was really nervous at first. At one point my instructor said to me that I have too many hours and money invested to quit. I never thought about quitting but it made me put my head down and study and get my training done.
Then I got lucky and flew a acquaintance 172 after I got my license, I rented it from him for 50 an hour 10 years ago. After 6 months I bought it from him. I was flying it almost everyday. I flew for a couple hundred hours by myself learning how to fly it. Grass, short field, soft field take offs and landings etc.
It is so rewarding learning how to fly and get more confidence on my own.
I didn't think flying was for me at first but that all changed with enough experience.
Good luck and don't give up.

 

[TommyG]

It is good to have that little voice in the back of your mind. I would be concerned if you said you had no concerns or worries.

We all have the WHAT IF on our mind when flying.

 

[rwellner98]

As someone who does sketchier flying than most here, I'll echo what others have said. I definitely have different criteria for when I'm alone, when I'm with another bush pilot, when I'm with another normal pilot and when I'm with non-pilots or family.

On one end of the spectrum, if I'm alone and light, it's pretty much full send. On the other end, it's good weather, smooth skies and hopefully some ice cream at the destination.

 

[Piperonca]

Wait until you start sending students solo! When you send someone's very successful husband, dad, grandfather, bread-winner, business-owner up solo and all of those people depend on him for their quality of life, that's some responsibility.

Your post resonates. My father started instructing in the late '30s, in biplanes. He operated a small grass airport populated with Cubs and Aeroncas. Once he had a student with very low confidence. Dad told him you are now an American Airlines captain. The student immediately started flying with precision.

When Dad would solo a student, he would stand by the runway. Once I asked him what he was thinking and he said 'I was praying.'

 

[Roger Wilco]

You are not alone.

What you are experiencing is not uncommon. Most of us, as we reach a certain stage of life, find ourselves more aware of risk and the real meaning of responsibility. The cavalier, cocksure confidence of our youth gives way to caution and circumspection and we gain a more sober perspective of the dire consequences that may result from our mistakes. This, I contend, is a good thing (although it does tend to take some of the fun out of putting on the old wingsuit for a weekend of base jumping). But to begin flight training at this point in life means that this aspect of maturity can become a psychological obstacle to be overcome. Recreational aviation is a sort-of algebra in which risk, responsibility, and reward are the variables. Your enjoyment of flying is the reward, in an equation that only you can resolve.

Others here have mentioned experience as the cure. While good training is the foundation for a lifelong affair with aviation, it is through experience that we build confidence in both our ability to effectively manage risk and successfully rise to the occasion if something does go awry. This kind of experience can only be gained while acting as pilot-in-command (to include solo), experience in which we gain faith and assurance that flying can be done safely and we build confidence in our own abilities to make it so. Along the way, responsibility becomes less daunting and less burdensome.

FWIW: I had a 40-year airline career. While flying as a First (and Second) Officer, I found myself keenly attuned to the demeanor and character attributes of the captains that I flew with. Among them were a relative few who were, at times, perceptibly uncomfortable in the role. All were competent pilots, and some were excellent. Over time I realized that it was the acute awareness of the responsibility they carried, and the accompanying apprehension of being faced with having to make a decision upon which the lives of all aboard depended, that weighed upon them. But fly they did, safely, for tens of thousands of hours. They could have quietly disappeared from active flying and resurfaced behind a desk seated in an ergonomic chair in a quiet office (at no loss of pay), but they chose to remain in the cockpit. In their own personal algebra, the reward was the solution.

Good luck to you.

 

[Ed Haywood]

Your post resonates. My father started instructing in the late '30s, in biplanes. He operated a small grass airport populated with Cubs and Aeroncas. Once he had a student with very low confidence. Dad told him you are now an American Airlines captain. The student immediately started flying with precision.

When Dad would solo a student, he would stand by the runway. Once I asked him what he was thinking and he said 'I was praying.'

I love to fly with others, but I do not think I could handle the responsibility of being a CFI.

 

[strikes2k]

New pilot here. Got my PPL last month so pretty fresh. The responsibility DOES weigh on you. I may have missed it but it sounds like you haven't solo'ed yet. Like most of the training the solo process is a building block process. Your first solo will likely just be doing a few laps in the pattern by yourself. At that point you'll have done a bunch of this type of work with your instructor and be quite comfortable operating around your airport with relatively minimal risk to anyone but yourself. Then you'll venture a little further and a little further. Each step should be when you're ready and have gained the requisite level of confidence for that next step. I remember being slightly apprehensive on my solo's. You do realize the difference when you're PIC versus having that crutch sitting next to you. But then you also realize that you wouldn't be there if that crutch didn't have confidence that you are ready.

I still feel a little apprehensive each time I go up. To piggy back off an analogy someone made up above to driving, a colleague of mine moved to the U.S. from Ireland. Over there driving is a different experience. The roads have a couple of lanes, are very wide, and not that much traffic. He moved to Los Angeles where the roads have 3-5 lanes and the freeways are bumper to bumper constantly. He didn't drive for a year after moving while getting up to speed. Driving in LA was like a different world to him. But now he's more than capable of driving in those conditions.

You said you're 34 hours in and you bought 40. For sure use up the other 6 but I also think you should continue, at least until you've done your solos. You'll be able to make a more informed decision once you've actually flown PIC.

 

[Dixiebluesky]

A real emergency while actually flying the plane is actually nowhere near as stressful as thinking about these things on the ground.

 

[JeffinNV]

I appreciate all the responses.

I'm not concerned with my own safety in event of an emergency (I ride motorcycles), it's those on the ground, in the neighborhood I fly over during takeoff and landing.
I think I should be prepared to react in a split second if the engine fails, or anything else happens that prevents me from getting to a good, open landing spot.

I prefer flying out over the desert, away from the crowded urban areas that are around the airport.
If I had enough land in the desert to build my own airstrip I'd buy my own plane and fly out there all day long.

More experience will give me more confidence in handling in-flight emergencies however I don't see more experience removing the chance of an in-fight emergency.

I enjoy operating and controlling the machine, the flying is sort of immaterial.

I think currently the reward isn't worth the perceived risk.
It probably doesn't help that I am a mechanical hypochondriac, waiting for any and every machine I'm involved with to fail in some subtle way.

After I discussed this with my CFI we flew over a tree covered mountain pass during one lesson.
He seemed a bit nervous as there was no clear area to set the plane down should we have an issue.
It didn't bother me, I was more comfortable there than over the neighborhood at the end of the runway.

 

[texasclouds]

Maybe it is not for you.

For me, I loved kicking the CFI out and the freedom that followed. I want to be the capn. I want the responsibility.

 

[Albany Tom]

I prefer flying out over the desert, away from the crowded urban areas that are around the airport.
If I had enough land in the desert to build my own airstrip I'd buy my own plane and fly out there all day long.

I tell you what, end of a long day and you made me smile, thanks for that. I was close in my guess, but not quite spot on. It's not the responsibility, you just don't want to put yourself in a spot where you might harm somebody else. One of the most respectable reasons I can think of. The thing is, though, is that with your mindset you're going to be a great pilot. I don't say that because of the nobility of your thought process, but because you get the risk management of it, and you don't trust things you can't verify.

My advice is changing a little. Still learn to fly. Learn to do a simulated power off to land, not just approach, even though it's not required for the check ride. Learn to do slow flight at a safe altitude where you're right on the edge of stall and aren't just comfortable with it, but that you enjoy it. Practice stalls so much they're second nature. It's all safe in a trainer airplane with some altitude and a decent instructor. Get 100% comfortable with the plane.

Then, when you get your ticket, find an airport with plenty of space around it, and fly. It should feel kinda like the bike, in spirit, but without the hassles of the cars and with a way better view. As far as the mechanicals go, for most trainers it's a big lawnmower engine with 2 mags. As long as it has oil and gas it's happy. And if it stops, the plane continues to fly just fine.

Once you get as comfortable in the aircraft as you probably are on your bike, and not in a place where you're doing your climb out over houses, I think you're going to have fun.

 

[Daleandee]

More experience will give me more confidence in handling in-flight emergencies however I don't see more experience removing the chance of an in-fight emergency.

I disagree.

Many in flight emergencies could have been prevented with more training or attention to detail. For instance ... many years ago we had a skydive pilot run out of fuel somewhere about 10K feet directly over a 3100' runway (a self induced emergency that could have been prevented). Furthermore, what should have been a dead stick landing ended up with the airplane coming up short and hitting a ditch just off the airport property.

A safety report I read years ago noted that many accidents occur when something does go wrong and it is mishandled by the pilot. We have had numerous threads discussing the turnback maneuver that gets a lot of pilots injured or killed by stalling & spinning. This was an emergency they created by mishandling the airplane.

Certainly it is quite evident that experience should/would help prevent such errors ...

 

[TCABM]

…More experience will give me more confidence in handling in-flight emergencies however I don't see more experience removing the chance of an in-fight emergency.

No amount of experience cancels the probability of an in flight emergency. But, not all in flight emergencies carry the same risk to other, non-participating people and objects.

Let’s look at loss of power on takeoff, for example. A partial loss of power is different than a catastrophic loss of power. Either is low probability and both can be somewhat controlled for, but neither will ever have a non-zero probability. The pre-flight inspection, runup, leaning for ground ops amd takeoff, and the full power check during takeoff roll are routines to mitigate the risk of power loss on takeoff. You should understand what the purpose of these checks are for and what actions to take when something isn’t right for continued flight. For instance, on a high DA day, you may have to lean the mixture to get full power on the roll. But if you’re not making full power, reject the takeoff and work the problem on the ground.

What phase/altitude the loss of power occurs at provides different options, too. This is where experience does come into play, to a degree. Luckily, these scenarios can also be practiced at a safe altitude to give you an idea of different outcomes but we can’t ever fully replicate a worst case scenario catastrophic emergency during the first 1,000 feet of climb out.

You know you; if you’re not comfortable with the risk management, no harm no foul. Be proud you tried something very few people in the world get to try.

 

[catmandu]

You have asked for advice which is good, it can help you make a decision. But you alone have to make your own decision, as much as I (and many more here) would hope you would make one that keeps you flying, since we all love aviation so much. And that leads to my two cents: pursuing an aviation life in whatever form should be with a not insignificant amount of passion. Passion IMO drives one to seek improvement which will minimize (but not eliminate) the risks.

In your particular situation, flying in and around CXP, like many other airfields in urban areas, is daunting. That crosswind to midfield downwind for 27, and vice versa for 9, is daunting. My personal plan in such situations: if I can't get back to the airfield, look for the loneliest street to fly to the scene of the crash. I will not likely fair well, but I will have minimized the risk to others.

 

[WDD]

I'm not concerned with my own safety in event of an emergency (I ride motorcycles)

FWIW, from another retired guy with a PPL who also used to ride motorcycles, if you you can handle the responsibility and decision making of riding a motorcycle, you'll be fine flying solo. Actually safer IMHO.

BTW - You're not too concerned with yourself, but with those on the ground? I do think you need to reconsider what you're imagining is a high chance of a problem you'll cause on the ground.

 

[Rick A]

Regardless of how little, or how much experience you gain, you should on every flight consider some "what-ifs" about challenging situations, and what you should or would do next. I.E., engine failures, turbulence, inadvertently entering clouds, door popping open, smoke in the cockpit, etc. In this manner, you will be prepared for a surprise and ready to handle it, rather than panic... because you've been through it in your mind many times already.

IMO, driving in traffic on an interstate, at night in the rain, windshield wipers banging away, headlights from the opposing side glaring at you, and passing a semi throwing off water at you is a much more tense and dangerous place to be than 98% of what you're likely to encounter while flying.

 

[WDD]

IMO, driving in traffic on an interstate, at night in the rain, windshield wipers banging away, headlights from the opposing side glaring at you, and passing a semi throwing off water at you is a much more tense and dangerous place to be than 98% of what you're likely to encounter while flying.

Ditto -

Walked away from motorcycles because it was just getting a bit too dangerous out there. So now I fly.

 

[moparrob66]

I started flying at 17. When it came time to solo, I felt a switch flip in my core. It was a switch from "kid mode" to "pilot mode". It was a good feeling for a young man figuring things out, and I knew I could switch back later after tying the plane down. After a few years of dumping alternating paychecks into plane rental and muscle car parts, I became a police officer to better support my habits. I felt the same switch clicking whenever I'd suit up for duty. The "responsibility switch" has a distinct and often jarring snap. After work, it was just as important to switch it back to "off". I felt it again after the birth of my firstborn, and now its much harder to switch off.

I wonder if its a difference between the imagined privilege of being a pilot vs. the actual responsibility? I know I would probably have a different perspective if I was taking my first lessons now vs high school. It might not be as appealing.

 

[PredragVasic]

One of the most interesting discussion topics here in a long while.

There are plenty of good-will armchair psychologists chiming in here, so I figured, why don’t I add my own two cents.

In my view, there are two cardinal questions that need to be answered here before the main issue can be resolved.

Why do you want to get a pilot’s license? Most common reason for amateur pilots (whose who aren’t pursuing it as a career) is because we simply love flying. It is exciting, exhilarating, profoundly gratifying, and liberating. It offers that deeply satisfying feeling of freedom. And then there’s that other, pragmatic, somewhat practical reason, where flying allows us to travel longer distances without the hassle of long, tedious drive, or the crowds, long lines and nuisance of airline travel. If you love flying, and that’s what motivates you to get your license, there is then the second question:

What is the underlying cause for your “mechanical hypochondria” and the debilitating fear of liability? To be clear, it is perfectly normal to occasionally feel a bit of anxiety from the possibility that something could go wrong and the consequence of it could harm others, but when that anxiety become paralysing fear, this may point to some underlying unresolved psychological issue that needs to be addressed. I’m not a trained therapist, but a professional might be able to help mitigate this somewhat irrational fear and provide some helpful tools to address the issue when it arises.

Flying is an amazing hobby that provides us with indelible memories and amazing, sometimes even spectacular experiences, and it deserves a chance. I hope you can find a way to thoroughly enjoy it without that fear.

 

[JeffinNV]

When I decided to take flying lessons I wasn't sure if it was for me, I've always been interested but I didn't have the passion that I thought was required.
However, I wanted to try, and I'm glad I did. I don't begrudge the time or money spent while seeing if it was for me.

is because we simply love flying. It is exciting, exhilarating, profoundly gratifying, and liberating. It offers that deeply satisfying feeling of freedom.

This does not describe me and flying. I used to feel this way when I began riding motorcycles, now it's a mode of transportation.

 

[Albany Tom]

What is the underlying cause for your “mechanical hypochondria” and the debilitating fear of liability? To be clear, it is perfectly normal to occasionally feel a bit of anxiety from the possibility that something could go wrong and the consequence of it could harm others, but when that anxiety become paralysing fear, this may point to some underlying unresolved psychological issue that needs to be addressed. I’m not a trained therapist, but a professional might be able to help mitigate this somewhat irrational fear and provide some helpful tools to address the issue when it arises.

I wasn't going to bring up one thought I had, but I'm going to jump into it.

It starts with a joke, apologies to those that have heard it. Two guys are sitting beside each other on an airliner. One is visibly nervous. He's sweating a bit, and looking around, etc. The other notices and asks "Are you nervous to fly?" The nervous guy replies "I'm always terrified when I fly". The first guy offers "Maybe I can help a bit. I'm a science teacher, and really the principles of flight are quiet simple, and the systems very reliable." And he goes on a bit to describe how aircraft work at a basic level.

After a bit, the teacher asks "So do you feel a little better now?" And the first guy says "Yeah, I do, thanks." The teacher then asks "so I'm curious, what do you do for a living?" The first guy replies "I'm an engineer. I design engines for GE."

It's been my experience that the people most nervous about technology are often either those that don't know very much about it, or those that know a LOT about it.

 

[JeffinNV]

Thanks Tom, I had overlooked that question.

My mechanical hypochondria stems from the fact that machines fail.
I've spent my life working on various machines, from my bicycle when I was a kid to my own cars, then I worked as a mechanic before going to sea as a Marine Engineer.
I enjoy working on machines, particularly internal combustion engines.
But anything man made, with thousands of parts, has orders of magnitude more chances to fail, from defective manufacturing to shoddy workmanship during assembly.

Sure it's rare these days but things happen.

I don't think I have a debilitating fear of liability, I feel the responsibility of operating a machine over the general public.
I can, with work, learn to deal with the various failures that may happen.

I don't want to deal with the various failures that may happen.

I once went for a drive in the snow. I got stuck and had to walk 10 miles, in the dark and freezing rain (this was pre-cell phone days).
The entire walk I was wishing I had stayed home.

I can see the same thing happening in an airplane. It may even be a little thing that goes wrong, and I handle it fine and return to the airport.
Thinking about having to deal with it takes the joy out of, it for me.

 

[Albany Tom]

I've spent my life working on various machines, from my bicycle when I was a kid to my own cars, then I worked as a mechanic before going to sea as a Marine Engineer.
I enjoy working on machines, particularly internal combustion engines.

Kinda figured you might be an engineer of one type or another... I work in tech, too. I can relate. First, you're right, nothing's perfect, and everything man made that moves will eventually fail. It's just the way it is. Entropy wins. Here's what I did.

First, I read every NTSB report I could about accidents involving the aircraft I was flying. Cubs and PA-28's in my case. Found out that the great majority of accidents are caused by pilot error, not mechanical, as I'm sure you're heard and read. But I dove into those mechanical ones, too, and found some takeaways. Things like be kinda careful after any maintenance work has been done, even including oil changes, as you know better than me sometimes somebody missing putting something back right. Or make sure to always sump the tank to make sure there's no water.

Then I went over the systems that had caused failures I'd read about. Like some older PA-28's had aluminum battery cables, which can be a risk in some circumstances. And for PA-28's in particular there's a wing spar thing. But if it's the engine that stops, the airplane keeps flying. You know that. There are at least a couple of people here that have had that happen, and they walked away from it. PA-28's have about as simple of an ignition system as you can get, 2 separate mags, 2 plugs per cylinder. Both a mechanical and an electric fuel pump, should the mechanical one fail. Air cooling, so no water pump to fail. More or less the prop bolts onto the end of the crankshaft, no reduction gears. It's not perfect, but it's a really reliable system.

Finally, I mostly fly over areas where there are fields in the area. Farming fields, I mean, not airfields. I've landed in grass landing fields before, highly recommend doing that, and it's a lot of fun. I understand that a cornfield is not the same as a nicely mowed airfield, but it's still not a bad thing to have nearby.

So I don't want to suggest doing something you don't want to do, that wouldn't make any sense. But maybe make that decisions after you get your ticket.

One of the reasons for flying might not be stated above. It's because of the challenge, and because it adds another tool in your toolbox. I'd rather be the guy who knows how to ride a bike but chooses not to, than the guy who doesn't ride because they can't. That might seem like a selfish or shallow reason, but I don't think it is. If you're trapped in your ability to experience things based on skills, then you're kind of living a smaller version of life than you need to be. Not trying to be philosophical about it, but I really do think that flying gives a person an ability to see the world in a different way.