Static Display “do not touch” sign ideas

Lawson Laslo

Pre-takeoff checklist
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Jan 18, 2019
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Sundance airport Oklahoma
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Howdy
As y’all know Airshow attendees just love to touch and get there sweaty prints all over polished aluminum airplanes…
Yesterday after a flyin event my freshly polished ‘Coupe was littered with fingerprints, one person even literally rested there whole body on the fuselage…

people just think that the static display aircraft are a petting zoo or something…
does anyone have any good ideas for signs to warn against touching the aircraft?comedic signs welcomed aswell

also how do y’all politely tell people to stop touching the airplane without coming off stingy or rude?
 
People are inconsiderate and apparently blind. Signs don’t seem to work. Wrapping the plane in streamers and standing guard seems to do the trick.
 
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If NASA can’t manage it, not sure there is much hope for the rest of us :p
 
A couple of "junk yard dogs" attached to the tie downs should keep the smart folks at bay. Make it part of your paws flights and kill two birds with one stone. :D
 
Depending on the demographics, this sign could make things either interesting or horrifying.

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Attach a couple of massive cables to the plane with large clamps, then post “DANGER: HIGH VOLTAGE. DO NOT TOUCH!” signs all over it.

Having watched people play with an electric fence with this EXACT SIGN on it it seems to make them want to touch it more.
 
So there i was...

Showed up at the air show to find people PEELED THE TAPE off the hatch to my s3, and started helping themselves to a tour INSIDE. WITH THE LIVE EJECTION SEATS.

Formed a nice line and everything...
 
The only thing that has worked for me.

My breaking point was when a guy walked under my ropes, grabbed the prop, and aggressively pulled it through like he was trying to start the plane...idiot.

portable electric cattle prod should break him of that habit, and encourage better behavior from others. 12 D-cell batteries. Doesn’t usually leave a mark.
 
I was parked right on the show line at Oshkosh one year. Some guy was using my nose gear as a headrest. Margy, who was working crowd control asked if it was his plane. He said no (which she knew the answer), so she told him not to touch other people's planes. He cracked his head on the prop getting up.

Margy worked at the National Air and Space Museum. We were visiting the Pacific Air Museum at Pearl Harbor and I noticed that the exhibits were surrounded with barbed wire rather than some generic museum barrier. I mentioned that I didn't think the Smithsonian would go for that and their director of education who was showing us around told me to go ahead and touch it. What certainly appeared to be real barbed wire turned out to have the barbs made out of rubber.
 
Oh, another idea. If you look closely at my pic, you can see it works. Just wait 70 years between polishings, fingerprints aren’t very noticeable... easy peasy.
 
I wash my aircraft after Oshkosh every year. How an airplane can fly low for a half hour, then sit in a field for a week and not get dirty is beyond me. Were it me I'd just not stress over it. I'd just polish the airplane after the show since it probably is going to need it anyway.
 
I volunteer at a museum and the number of people who will just put their kids in your airplane and let them play with the controls is crazy. I have been at our air show and seen kids just yank on control surfaces while their parents watch and do nothing about it. Since I fly some of the planes I always do a super thorough preflight because you never know who has messed with what.
 
I had a polished Cessna 140 for many years. People are going to touch them. People are going to pose for photos with their reflection. People are going to ask you if it's chrome. People are going to argue with you when you tell them it's not chrome. Old grumpy pilots are going to say things like, "I'd rather fly than sit around polishing a plane." The same old guys are going to walk away when you tell them you work 50+ hours a week, keep the plane polished, and still fly more than they do.

The only thing that ever helped was when I put a sign saying, "Fingerprints suck. "Please only touch here", with an arrow. That area was full of fingerprints and the rest of the plane was pretty much left alone!

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"I said, 'Jill, if there's ever a problem, just walk out on the balcony here, walk out and put that double-barrel shotgun and fire two blasts outside the house,'" Biden said.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.usnews.com/news/articles/2013/02/20/joe-biden-shotgun-advice-could-land-jill-biden-in-jail?context=amp

Interesting, I hadn't seen that...but the same source (US News and World Report) reported a week later, with a link to the original interview, that Joe had said: “Well, you know, my shotgun will do better for you than your AR-15, because you want to keep someone away from your house, just fire the shotgun through the door.” Which I think we all recognize is frighteningly bad advice.

https://www.usnews.com/news/articles/2013/02/28/biden-advises-shooting-shotgun-through-door
 
I had a polished Cessna 140 for many years. People are going to touch them. People are going to pose for photos with their reflection. People are going to ask you if it's chrome. People are going to argue with you when you tell them it's not chrome. Old grumpy pilots are going to say things like, "I'd rather fly than sit around polishing a plane." The same old guys are going to walk away when you tell them you work 50+ hours a week, keep the plane polished, and still fly more than they do.

The only thing that ever helped was when I put a sign saying, "Fingerprints suck. "Please only touch here", with an arrow. That area was full of fingerprints and the rest of the plane was pretty much left alone!

26410657630_cacd93941b_c.jpg
After 3 years of ownership I can agree with that, pretty much every event I get asked if it’s chromed as they are rubbing their hand on it…
 
Interesting, I hadn't seen that...but the same source (US News and World Report) reported a week later, with a link to the original interview, that Joe had said: “Well, you know, my shotgun will do better for you than your AR-15, because you want to keep someone away from your house, just fire the shotgun through the door.” Which I think we all recognize is frighteningly bad advice.

https://www.usnews.com/news/articles/2013/02/28/biden-advises-shooting-shotgun-through-door


Well, either version is terribly bad advice as well as illegal. But I'll just leave it there lest the thread be locked.
 
Maybe several signs around the plane that says “PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! DON’T TOUCH ME” and in small letters “That means you too uncle Chester.”
 
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