Son Challenges the Father

Did you challenge your dad

  • I challenged my dad

    Votes: 18 27.3%

  • I did not challenge my dad

    Votes: 39 59.1%

  • My dad wasn't available for me to challenge - N/A

    Votes: 9 13.6%
  • Total voters
    66
Jaybird180

Jaybird180

Final Approach
Joined
Dec 28, 2010
Messages
9,034
Location
Near DC
Display Name
Display name:
Jaybird180
How many of you when a young man growing into manhood (or "smelling yourself"), practiced the "rites of passage" with you old man of challenging him for physical dominance? If so, how old were you?
 
No, I am your father. Search your feelings. You know it to be true.
 
Jaybird180 said:
How many of you when a young man growing into manhood (or "smelling yourself"), practiced the "rites of passage" with you old man of challenging him for physical dominance? If so, how old were you?
Click to expand...

Only on the golf course or bowling lanes. :D

By the time I was 17 I got to where I could take his money on the lanes...but he could whip my butt on the golf course!! He was a 190+ average bowler and a 5 handicap golfer.

He's been gone for 27 years now...Sure do miss Dad. :sad:
 
Wouldn't even think of it,left for the service at 17.
 
My dad was in his late 60s with a bad knee by the time I was in my teens and could have done such a thing.

Wasn't something I really thought of though. I was raised to hold my ground without giving an inch if I had to, but we didn't ever engage in the dominance games. If anything when I suddenly realized I was his size and younger/probably stronger it gave me something like a sense of responsibility and foreboding.

I was a weird kid....
 
Every boy does, not exactly in a bare knuckle fight, but yeah, think it's just psychology 101.
 
The thought never crossed my mind. He was one of my biggest supporters....still is to this day, after 58 years.

And if ever I could "smell myself" I knew it was time to take a shower...or Dad might kindly remind me to.
 
My Dad frequently told people my first word was "NO" and my second (through 19,452nd) was "WHY?"
Does that count?
 
When I was 17, I was 6' tall and 175 pounds of solid muscle. I thought I could take the world, and probably could have. I could easily beat my dad in arm wrestling, and did so, with a smirk.

One day I was feeling my oats, and giving my mom some grief about something. I made some crack to her that may have included the "b" word, at which point my dad bull rushed me with a speed and power I could not believe. I backpedaled, fell backwards over the vacuum cleaner, and laid there in stark terror as my dad loomed over me.

I never used the "b" word around my mom again. :)

Fast forward 30 years. My son and I are cleaning up the pool area at our hotel in Iowa. He is 16, a varsity wrestler, and 160 pounds of solid muscle. He could, and did, take on all comers.

He was being a typical teenager/douchbag, not doing his job, and made some crack to me that may have included the "f" word.

I remember seeing only red. Incredibly, with one arm I picked him up and threw him. I remember seeing the terror in his eyes as he flew through the air.

He never used the "f" word around me again. :)

We all love each other, my son and I are very close, and I miss my dad every day -- but I think our primordial instinct for male dominance commonly rears it's ugly head in every boy's late teens.

And, as always, it's up to us old men to demonstrate the folly of that notion. ;)
 
Kind of a sick query. Glad the polling is tending towards no.
 
Jaybird180 said:
How many of you when a young man growing into manhood (or "smelling yourself"), practiced the "rites of passage" with you old man of challenging him for physical dominance? If so, how old were you?
Click to expand...

You Muslims are one sick group of people ( CULT ).....:rolleyes2:
 
LDJones said:
The thought never crossed my mind. He was one of my biggest supporters....still is to this day, after 58 years.

And if ever I could "smell myself" I knew it was time to take a shower...or Dad might kindly remind me to.
Click to expand...
:yes::thumbsup:
 
Dad although young, was worn out, not up to a physical contest. But he could keep up with camping scout troops and taught us all how to start a fire in a rain and snow storm with wet wood.
 
My dad made it pretty clear that while I migh have him in size, he had me in experience and treachery and I knew he would use it if I pushed it. I annoyed the living crap out of my poor stepdad though and knew I was doing it. We're still great friends to this day, but I pushed every button I could find.
 
Geico266 said:
Wanna bet? :nono:
Click to expand...

Yes

Like I said, it's not necessarily a cage fight or something, it is however in our nature.

Why do you think teens act the way they do.


I love my folks, they have always been there for me and I them, that said I'm sure in some silly fight I got into with my dad as a teenager there was some who's the big dog in the yard physiology going on in the back of my head, though I doubt I knew it at the time
 
There was a year there where I was rebellious but it mostly took the form of just ignoring my parents. It hurt my mom a lot. Dad didn't seem bothered by it much. He probably understood what it is like to be a 17 year old and knew it would pass.

My parents are my best friends and I never in my life would have ever thought of accosting them in any way.

I just finished having dinner with them and we sat out on a patio having wine and Pizza and taking turns tickling the kids and putting ice down everyone's shirts (my kids current favorite prank)

Everyone is different but for me, I expect my kids will rebel but if it ever gets violent, then I have done something wrong IMO.
 
the day we were loading hay bales and i realized i was throwing the bales higher than my father, that was both the best day and the worst day of my teenage years
 
Divorced and father passed when i was 18. Never knew him really.

My uncle was more of a father figure. We'd wrestle every thanksgiving. But after the thrashing I gave him my 16th thanksgiving his back was always too "sore" lol. I was a 6'2 245lbs all state defensive end.

We laugh about it today, I actually have a 16 year old stepson now. He's 6' 250, we wrestle all the time but Im still the alpha :)

Cant wait till my 8 year old boy can whip my ass, lol that will be the changing of the guard.
 
My dad and I used to arm wrestle occasionally through the years growing up and always whoop my a$$. When I was around 17 I started working out like crazy. Went from 170lbs of skinny to 220lbs of pure muscle meat head. I hadn't arm wrestled him for close to a year and when we did it was way too easy. I had to let him win. I just couldn't let him lose. I never arm wrestled him since. Kinda sad I was able to beat him. :( Now I wonder what age my son will beat me. He just turned 5, so I figure I have at least a couple years. :)
 
Y'all talking about ol dad kicking the snot out of the son, or vice versa. MY dad could kill any of you 17 different ways with his bare hands. Or at least he told me this often enough. And I had ample experiences to believe him. The last time, dear ol decrepit dad with not much time left, rose up from the dinner table with an unforeseen energy that he took me by surprise.

For a son to take his dad he has to be full of **** and vinegar. And he'll despise himself for it if he has any conscience. Anger is not something to take into battle. I do believe it is the age old story (Oedipus) that permits the son to think he is more a man than his dad.
 
Next poll:

Man beats the wife

Did you beat your wife?

  • I beat my wife.
  • I did not beat my wife.
  • My wife wasn't available for me to beat - NA




My dad's not perfect but he's always done the best he knows how and encouraged me. The thought of physically fighting with him is almost as sickening as imagining punching my wife in the face, so no... never challenged him.
 
LDJones said:
The thought never crossed my mind. He was one of my biggest supporters....
Click to expand...

Same here, Jonesy, same here.

Dad would've turned 105 last month (he was 49 when I was born). RIP pops.

Dad was a truly gentle man (he had to be to put up with mom! :) )
 
Walboy said:
Mental challenge...maybe.

Like the old saying goes, "My old man was the dumbest man in the world. When I returned home from college, it was amazing how much the old man had learned."
Click to expand...

"The older I get, the smarter my Dad was..."
 
I suppose that for girls, the dominance thing takes a different turn. When I was 19 or 20, my Dad decided to tickle me into submission and I decided he was not going to do it. I kept telling him "no" and he kept trying to tickle me. I dug all four nails from my right hand into his forearm with all my might. I drew quite a bit of blood. He stopped and never tickled me again. I noticed on the day he died, that four little half-moon scars were still on his arm. I miss him.
 
Jay Honeck said:
When I was 17, I was 6' tall and 175 pounds of solid muscle. I thought I could take the world, and probably could have. I could easily beat my dad in arm wrestling, and did so, with a smirk.
Click to expand...

Ha! In HS I was 6'2" and maybe 160. Dad was 6'3", 235, and pretty much solid. (ex football and BBall player) He could snap my arm like a twig if he wanted.

I had three brothers (one of them a pretty big boy himself), none of us f'd with my Dad, none of my friends ever tried to f with my Dad, in fact I cannot recall anyone ever trying to f with my Dad. He was frickin' strong and had a mad look that would freeze people in their tracks.
 
As is common these days...I failed to properly understand the question before answering it. I never have challenged my folks physically...but sure do remember some interesting discussions :p
 
Physical? Wouldn't have been much of a challenge (except for the large disparity in our weights). Certainly we mentally sparred on a number of subjects.
 
Man alive, I know people for whom that was a legitimate issue, but never with my father and me. There was that one time when I made some ridiculously bad comment, and when he reached out to give me a "pop" (he never beat me, just administered reminders), I ran like hell to avoid it; took him a while to catch me, but we both knew he would (plus, he had the car keys). He chuckled, told me, "son, you're running pretty fast!"

He always treated me with care and respect, and earned much more than I gave him. At the worst ebb, my opinion of him never fell below admiration, and it never occurred to me to strike or hurt him.

I cannot imagine what I would give for the chance to speak with him again.
 
I can certainly appreciate the stories shared. Most have expressed fond memories of bygone episodes with dad. My own father is still alive yet 500 miles away as it were when I was a youngster - my folks split up. I disagreed with him on many a things but "alpha status" was never an issue. I was smart enough to avoid his strong personality by visiting on my own dime and could return to my castle whenever the whim suited me. Prior to having the ability to choose, respect and the high probability of losing ensured that disagreements nary went a few degrees beyond, "No sir".

I am happy to see that conflicts between father / son are the minority and runs counter to what I told was inevitable and certain in the future of my relationship with my own blood. Never did I intend to limit the discussion to a question of would you assault your elder, but I can see how some may interpret things in that fashion.

Some, it seems engaged in purposeful rebellion as a mark of self determinism and others like Mr Honeck endured the agony of a hasty battle plan and as a result was prepared to put down a budding insurrection a generation later. Glad we were able to capture the range of possibilities.
 
Last edited:
smelling_yourself_large.png
 
AuntPeggy said:
I suppose that for girls, the dominance thing takes a different turn. When I was 19 or 20, my Dad decided to tickle me into submission and I decided he was not going to do it. I kept telling him "no" and he kept trying to tickle me. I dug all four nails from my right hand into his forearm with all my might. I drew quite a bit of blood. He stopped and never tickled me again. I noticed on the day he died, that four little half-moon scars were still on his arm. I miss him.
Click to expand...
I remember going after my dad when I was a kid. I was half his size so it wasn't a dominance thing. I think I was angry about being punished for something. I didn't try that again...
 
James331 said:
Why do you think teens act the way they do.
Click to expand...


Rampant hormones.

AuntPeggy said:
I suppose that for girls, the dominance thing takes a different turn. When I was 19 or 20, my Dad decided to tickle me into submission and I decided he was not going to do it. I kept telling him "no" and he kept trying to tickle me. I dug all four nails from my right hand into his forearm with all my might. I drew quite a bit of blood. He stopped and never tickled me again. I noticed on the day he died, that four little half-moon scars were still on his arm. I miss him.
Click to expand...


LOL! I think you just described my long-deceased cat! ;)

SCCutler said:
I cannot imagine what I would give for the chance to speak with him again.
Click to expand...


That one made me think. I'd give up a lot, and the first thing he'd say would be, "Why did you do THAT?" with a knowing look that it was stupid but that he'd have done the same.

"Alright, well now that you screwed that up, we'd better go fishing. Where do you keep the poles and the tackle box? Grab the Marlin and some .22 while you're down there. I'll load up the dogs."

Tough thread. We lost Karen's dad last week.

My first memory of him was showing up at their house as a 98 lb weakling who wanted to take his daughter on a date to the movies. At 6' 4" and very big, I just kinda stood there at the doorway thinking, "So if I screw this up, this is how I die." Then as I met the rest of the family I realized they were all giants. Not a one of them under 6' other than Karen due to a genetics issue (mentioned before here and had a fun time talking to the Professor at Oshkosh about it -- has anyone ever mentioned that Steingar still knows his genetic stuff even when he's many beers past "not sober"? Heh heh.)

Which of course I learned over time wasn't true at all, he was a big teddy bear with a loud voice, the most opinionated "old guy" I'd ever met up until that point (maybe even more than dad was) and who could articulate it better (he was an estate and tax attorney) who'd move heaven and earth for his family (even if one of the siblings never believed it). And like all dads he was probably in shock that his baby girl had a damned boy at the front door trying to take her out on a date.

Over the years we had many long conversations before the dementia, other side effects of long term diabetes, and three strokes took his ability to speak. Even then he'd sit and listen and smile and nod during family discussions with that look like he had the perfect comment for the moment but it was just not possible to get it out with the vocabulary he had remaining, so he'd nod along with whoever he agreed with.

Never heard someone sing as badly or as loud in church, before or since. He had a terrible singing voice and knew it, but he didn't care. He was expelled from Moody Bible Institute for playing, gasp!, cards! The horrors! (The only card game I could regularly beat him at was Cribbage, my grandpa's favorite game.)

Poor guy was a Michigan fan, and his wife a Michigan State fan. Truly confused souls. Haha. :) The last time I saw him, we watched a Michigan game together.

He will be interred at Ft. Logan National Cemetery. He served during Korea and joked that he fought the war by getting in trouble and pulling KP duty, washing and peeling thousands of potatoes.

Going to miss him. RIP Ken.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top