[rant]True crime television

Sac Arrow

Touchdown! Greaser!
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May 11, 2010
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Snorting his way across the USA
The birds are still snoring, crickets are purring, and frogs are chirping as I'm standing in front of the gym at 4:56 a.m. hoping that the front desk person won't wait until the very last minute to unlock the door and let a small assemblage of die hard fitness enthusiasts through the door to begin their daily regimine. Why do minutes count? For most of the people, a 5:00 a.m. opening time is getting a late start for an earlier than standard work shift to begin with. For me, it's because the hour long television show I want to watch during my hour of cardio, starts on the hour. Usually. Barring the network's decision to f***** with me and start an hour long show on the half hour. It doesn't happen often, but it has happened.

There isn't a whole lot of things to watch early in the morning. I've watched every single episode of NCIS (original, LA and NOLA) there is to watch, some several times over. Scott Bakula needs to ace that phony Louisiana accent. Same thing with Chicago PD unless they have new stuff out, but in the end, unrealistic shows portraying pencil pushing federal bureaucrats as Delta Force operatives, and city detective sergeants that should (and probably would) be fired and jailed in a real LEO setting wears on you.

There is news. National news networks make me angry and want to break things, so I tend to avoid them. Local news is all over the board, plus the temptation to stalk the traffic girl is too great. Besides, if you've seen fifteen minutes, you've seen it all and after that it just repeats. Or, I should more appropriately state, that they "say again." The anchor dude really needs some of that Just For Men. He can't pull off the grey look these days without coming off as an aging perv.

Sports? I can't STAND watching recycled sports. It doesn't interest me. I'm sorry. Pull my bro card if you must. I'll watch the NFL playoffs and the Super Bowl live, and not religiously. Even women's tennis has no place for me now that they wear shorts under their outfits. Baseball? Ho hum, I turned off of it after the baseball strikes. Basketball? Repetitious. Soccer? That is a sport where, if you removed the ball from the game, it would only affect the average score by 2.

That leaves true crime shows.

Ideal:

The crime happens right up front. Or at least within the first 5-10 minutes of the show, not because I like seeing crime happen to people (I don't) but the whole investigative process is fascinating to me, despite having been dramatized for television. Often times, one can figure out who did it within the first few minutes by seeing who they are NOT interviewing during the course of the program. The husband and/or boyfriend they are not talking to, probably is who did it. I doesn't always work that way, but it often does.

Marginally acceptable:

Take the ideal scenario, but don't conclude it. We're talking unsolved crimes here. If you have some really strong suspects identified during the course of the investigation but you just can't prove it, well, okay. But no suspects at all and you leave it open? Come on, man. There have been a handful of shows where they pull it off, but my inner sleuth needs some validation.

Unacceptable:

They have done it to me twice so far, the second time was this morning. That is where they spend the first forty five minutes developing the backdrop, and in the last fifteen minutes the crime happens and they wrap it up. You kind of already know who the bad guy (or girl) is going to be and not through keen detective analysis. No. That is no with a capital 'F.' They could have condensed the first 45 minutes in to 5 minutes and it would have served equally well. I don't NEED to watch 45 minutes of petty bickering and dysfunctional family life. If I did, I'd watch a soap opera instead. (Technically, I don't 'need' to watch the program to being with but let's make the presumptive assumption I do for the sake of argument.) Okay I get it. You need to fill an hour with a twenty minute show. The Dangerous Women series works well, because they put three twenty minute segments in to fill an hour show. It also reminds me why I don't want to stalk the traffic girl that badly.
 
iPad and stream Blue Bloods or whatever else you want.
 
For crime shows I stick to fiction, right now Scandinavian or Russian. “Deadwind” and “Sparta” or the like.

True crime documentaries I usually get frustrated with how they drag it out and so I just go read about the case on wiki.
 
The birds are still snoring, crickets are purring, and frogs are chirping as I'm standing in front of the gym at 4:56 a.m. hoping that the front desk person won't wait until the very last minute to unlock the door and let a small assemblage of die hard fitness enthusiasts through the door to begin their daily regimine. Why do minutes count? For most of the people, a 5:00 a.m. opening time is getting a late start for an earlier than standard work shift to begin with. For me, it's because the hour long television show I want to watch during my hour of cardio, starts on the hour. Usually. Barring the network's decision to f***** with me and start an hour long show on the half hour. It doesn't happen often, but it has happened.

There isn't a whole lot of things to watch early in the morning. I've watched every single episode of NCIS (original, LA and NOLA) there is to watch, some several times over. Scott Bakula needs to ace that phony Louisiana accent. Same thing with Chicago PD unless they have new stuff out, but in the end, unrealistic shows portraying pencil pushing federal bureaucrats as Delta Force operatives, and city detective sergeants that should (and probably would) be fired and jailed in a real LEO setting wears on you.

There is news. National news networks make me angry and want to break things, so I tend to avoid them. Local news is all over the board, plus the temptation to stalk the traffic girl is too great. Besides, if you've seen fifteen minutes, you've seen it all and after that it just repeats. Or, I should more appropriately state, that they "say again." The anchor dude really needs some of that Just For Men. He can't pull off the grey look these days without coming off as an aging perv.

Sports? I can't STAND watching recycled sports. It doesn't interest me. I'm sorry. Pull my bro card if you must. I'll watch the NFL playoffs and the Super Bowl live, and not religiously. Even women's tennis has no place for me now that they wear shorts under their outfits. Baseball? Ho hum, I turned off of it after the baseball strikes. Basketball? Repetitious. Soccer? That is a sport where, if you removed the ball from the game, it would only affect the average score by 2.

That leaves true crime shows.

Ideal:

The crime happens right up front. Or at least within the first 5-10 minutes of the show, not because I like seeing crime happen to people (I don't) but the whole investigative process is fascinating to me, despite having been dramatized for television. Often times, one can figure out who did it within the first few minutes by seeing who they are NOT interviewing during the course of the program. The husband and/or boyfriend they are not talking to, probably is who did it. I doesn't always work that way, but it often does.

Marginally acceptable:

Take the ideal scenario, but don't conclude it. We're talking unsolved crimes here. If you have some really strong suspects identified during the course of the investigation but you just can't prove it, well, okay. But no suspects at all and you leave it open? Come on, man. There have been a handful of shows where they pull it off, but my inner sleuth needs some validation.

Unacceptable:

They have done it to me twice so far, the second time was this morning. That is where they spend the first forty five minutes developing the backdrop, and in the last fifteen minutes the crime happens and they wrap it up. You kind of already know who the bad guy (or girl) is going to be and not through keen detective analysis. No. That is no with a capital 'F.' They could have condensed the first 45 minutes in to 5 minutes and it would have served equally well. I don't NEED to watch 45 minutes of petty bickering and dysfunctional family life. If I did, I'd watch a soap opera instead. (Technically, I don't 'need' to watch the program to being with but let's make the presumptive assumption I do for the sake of argument.) Okay I get it. You need to fill an hour with a twenty minute show. The Dangerous Women series works well, because they put three twenty minute segments in to fill an hour show. It also reminds me why I don't want to stalk the traffic girl that badly.
Does Vented Leggings Girl know you've dumped her for the Traffic Girl?
 
My wife loves true crime story shows. Especially the ''I almost got away with it'' shows where the wife kills the husband.




Should I be worried.??
If all she ever sees is that the wife never gets away with it, I think you're OK.
 
I can't believe a resident of California needs to go to a gym for exercise.
 
My wife loves true crime story shows. Especially the ''I almost got away with it'' shows where the wife kills the husband.

Should I be worried.??
I ask my wife the same thing. She'll watch 48 Hours and various other "wife killed her husband" shows, even the ones that need subtitles. Some day I'll tell you about the two books I found on the end table one day...

The Brits seem to kill each other off with such regularity that it's a wonder there are any left. We've enjoyed Endeavour, Law & Order UK, Line of Duty, DCI Banks, and a few others I can't recall at the moment.
 
Thread drift, if my wife is fascinated with shows about serial killers, should I be nervous?
 
I skimmed it quickly -- something about the gym, watching shows, and attractive women. I assume Sac wants to watch porn at the gym.

From personal observation, more families have started at the gym than the bar. Now the church I can’t tell you about but I’ve heard things.
 
My favorite true crime show is "Homicide Hunter", which is based on Lt. Joe Kenda's career as a homicide detective. It presents the crime at the beginning of the episode, and then presents the investigation. Most episodes have two segments, so you get twice the investigation, which for me is the interesting part. You also get Joe's insight, which is by itself worth watching the show for. The man investigated almost 400 homicides, and you can see the toll it has taken on him.
 
My favorite true crime show is "Homicide Hunter", which is based on Lt. Joe Kenda's career as a homicide detective. It presents the crime at the beginning of the episode, and then presents the investigation. Most episodes have two segments, so you get twice the investigation, which for me is the interesting part. You also get Joe's insight, which is by itself worth watching the show for. The man investigated almost 400 homicides, and you can see the toll it has taken on him.

His show ranks up there with my favorites
 
I can't believe a resident of California needs to go to a gym for exercise.

I suppose if you compare it to Buffalo, NY, or Barrow, AK. There are enough smoke days in the Summer and rain days in the Winter that having a gym really makes a difference.
 
So there I was, in a S3 squadron... New guy from another squadron shows up...

So in my last squadron... oh boy... the maintenance officer bragged about killing his wife and burying her in the back yard... blah blah blah.

EXCEPT HE ACTUALLY DID! D’OH!

Who needs TV?!!! Geesh
 
The birds are still snoring, crickets are purring, and frogs are chirping as I'm standing in front of the gym at 4:56 a.m. hoping that the front desk person won't wait until the very last minute to unlock the door and let a small assemblage of die hard fitness enthusiasts through the door to begin their daily regimine. Why do minutes count? For most of the people, a 5:00 a.m. opening time is getting a late start for an earlier than standard work shift to begin with. For me, it's because the hour long television show I want to watch during my hour of cardio, starts on the hour. Usually. Barring the network's decision to f***** with me and start an hour long show on the half hour. It doesn't happen often, but it has happened.

There isn't a whole lot of things to watch early in the morning. I've watched every single episode of NCIS (original, LA and NOLA) there is to watch, some several times over. Scott Bakula needs to ace that phony Louisiana accent. Same thing with Chicago PD unless they have new stuff out, but in the end, unrealistic shows portraying pencil pushing federal bureaucrats as Delta Force operatives, and city detective sergeants that should (and probably would) be fired and jailed in a real LEO setting wears on you.

There is news. National news networks make me angry and want to break things, so I tend to avoid them. Local news is all over the board, plus the temptation to stalk the traffic girl is too great. Besides, if you've seen fifteen minutes, you've seen it all and after that it just repeats. Or, I should more appropriately state, that they "say again." The anchor dude really needs some of that Just For Men. He can't pull off the grey look these days without coming off as an aging perv.

Sports? I can't STAND watching recycled sports. It doesn't interest me. I'm sorry. Pull my bro card if you must. I'll watch the NFL playoffs and the Super Bowl live, and not religiously. Even women's tennis has no place for me now that they wear shorts under their outfits. Baseball? Ho hum, I turned off of it after the baseball strikes. Basketball? Repetitious. Soccer? That is a sport where, if you removed the ball from the game, it would only affect the average score by 2.

That leaves true crime shows.

Ideal:

The crime happens right up front. Or at least within the first 5-10 minutes of the show, not because I like seeing crime happen to people (I don't) but the whole investigative process is fascinating to me, despite having been dramatized for television. Often times, one can figure out who did it within the first few minutes by seeing who they are NOT interviewing during the course of the program. The husband and/or boyfriend they are not talking to, probably is who did it. I doesn't always work that way, but it often does.

Marginally acceptable:

Take the ideal scenario, but don't conclude it. We're talking unsolved crimes here. If you have some really strong suspects identified during the course of the investigation but you just can't prove it, well, okay. But no suspects at all and you leave it open? Come on, man. There have been a handful of shows where they pull it off, but my inner sleuth needs some validation.

Unacceptable:

They have done it to me twice so far, the second time was this morning. That is where they spend the first forty five minutes developing the backdrop, and in the last fifteen minutes the crime happens and they wrap it up. You kind of already know who the bad guy (or girl) is going to be and not through keen detective analysis. No. That is no with a capital 'F.' They could have condensed the first 45 minutes in to 5 minutes and it would have served equally well. I don't NEED to watch 45 minutes of petty bickering and dysfunctional family life. If I did, I'd watch a soap opera instead. (Technically, I don't 'need' to watch the program to being with but let's make the presumptive assumption I do for the sake of argument.) Okay I get it. You need to fill an hour with a twenty minute show. The Dangerous Women series works well, because they put three twenty minute segments in to fill an hour show. It also reminds me why I don't want to stalk the traffic girl that badly.

Dear gawd....
 
Dilemma:

All of the Precor AMT machines have been replaced with the new model. Of the old models (good) only one had working audio (bad) but now that the new equipment is in (good) none of the audio is working (bad.)

So I Googled for the setup manual, and found that if I held a couple buttons down for a while it would kick it in to auto program sequence. This morning, low and behold, woo hoo. I could get my true crime on.

Interesting show. I never would have guessed Ohio had so many dismemberment serial killers loose that several dismemberment serial killers were prime suspects in a serial killing dismemberment, and in the end none of them ended up being the actual serial dismemberment killer. I knew I never had a craving to move to Ohio and that just reinforces it.
 
The Brits seem to kill each other off with such regularity that it's a wonder there are any left. We've enjoyed Endeavour, Law & Order UK, Line of Duty, DCI Banks, and a few others I can't recall at the moment.

My favorite Brit Crime show during the Pandemic has been Foyle’s War. Special mention to Foyle’s sidekick Sam. “All present and correct, Sir.”

-Skip
 
My favorite Brit Crime show during the Pandemic has been Foyle’s War. Special mention to Foyle’s sidekick Sam. “All present and correct, Sir.”

-Skip
If you like Brit crime shows be sure to watch Broadchurch on Netflix. It has Olivia Colman who I would pay to see perform (won the Oscar for best actress 2019). As an aside the greatest invention since color on a tv screen is the modern DVR. I watch shows on my schedule with no ads.
 
If you like Brit crime shows be sure to watch Broadchurch on Netflix. It has Olivia Colman who I would pay to see perform (won the Oscar for best actress 2019). As an aside the greatest invention since color on a tv screen is the modern DVR. I watch shows on my schedule with no ads.

I second that. Broadchurch was good. I also endorse watching on my own schedule on Netflix. I can’t watch anything with ads anymore, at all. I have too little life left to waste even a moment on ads. Amazon Prime has gone to having lots of “free with ads” shows, I can’t do it. I only watch stuff that comes with Prime, or if I really want to watch something not included with Prime I’ll rent or buy it, but I can’t tolerate ads.
 
I kind of like watching Cops. I really like watching this AE channel where federal marshals go apprehending bad guys. Same with the Dallas Swat thing. No real investigative process, but at least the footage is real. I think. But, those programs are all pretty masterbatory, if that is a word. Well it is now.

So there is the evil neighbors series. I didn't capitalize because I don't know the actual title and I'm too lazy to look it up but suffice that someone moves in the neighborhood, and a rift starts between one of the old neighbors and the new people and someone gets killed and it ends up on the ID channel.

Can't stand it. You already know who the bad guy is. I watch this stuff for the investigative process. Not to be horrified or angered. I don't like being horrified or angered. Well horrified is okay if it is a Stephen King novel, but I like solving things, not watching train wrecks.

Okay that is a lie. I do like watching train wrecks. Actual train wrecks. You know, where the semi is parked on the tracks. If it is fully loaded with steel I beams that is a plus.

I don't understand soap operas. I understand why some women like them, because, well, we won't get in to that but I could actually watch soap operas if it were 90 percent **** blowing up and ten percent hero pursuing girl. Well, actually I'll take fifty fifty, but I usually strive for about 70/30 in my own works. It seems to be a happy medium.
 
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