Prettiest little girl in the world <long>

Discussion in 'Hangar Talk' started by dtuuri, Feb 16, 2021.

  1. dtuuri

    dtuuri En-Route

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    Friday, I had to have my beloved little girl put to sleep. I'm not embarrassed that I broke down and babbled like a baby as she stiffened and went back to be with the other angels.


    Cocoa was four and a half when her family broke up. Her "dad" took the other dog and left town for good. Her "mom" took her two kids and placed them with relatives while she worked a double shift and tried to sell the house. "Mom" would come by to feed Cocoa, abandoned in the house, every day, while she tried to figure out what to do with her. I guess the relatives had limited space and just couldn't take in a dog too.


    My dog, Spinner, had passed away one month and one day before I first saw Cocoa. She chased my car as I drove home. I hadn't seen her before even though Spinner and I used to walk past her house almost every day. I thought she might have been dumped on the four-lane that ran behind her house. So, I turned around and went back to look at her collar. She also was frothing at the mouth. She was in distress.


    As I knelt down and coaxed her to come near, she would stretch and sniff at me, but would not come close enough to grab her collar. Then she'd run away and return a bit later. Neighbors came out. A lady stopped her car and offered me some left-over McDonald burger she didn't finish to try to tempt her with. But to no avail.


    The sun had already set and the last light had faded away as I got her history from the neighbors. They had seen her out on the highway once, behind her house where a car had stopped and the driver was trying to catch her. They thought she had been hit by his car. In the dim light I saw Cocoa go down to my parked car and put her paws on the driver's door and look in the rolled down window. So, I figured her owner must have a similar car. Then she ran past us and back toward her house and disappeared in the night. I thanked the neighbor and walked up the street to my parked car.


    When I opened the door, the overhead light came on and there sat Cocoa on my back seat! I could NOT believe it! She had apparently circled around behind her house and under cover of darkness jumped through my window and made herself at home.


    Some people don't believe in God. I say they should open their eyes and ears wider. This was Divine intervention. I had been, then, as heartbroken as I am today—grieving over the loss of my Spin dog (as I used to refer to Spinner). But one of the few things I knew in the Bible was not to grieve longer than one month after the loss of a loved one. Cocoa jumped in my car one month and one day after Spinner died.


    So, I took her home and arranged to meet her owner in a few days to return her. Then we met at her house. Talked for a couple minutes. Cocoa was happy to see her and she gave Cocoa a Milk bone. I got up to leave and Cocoa ran out the door and over to my car and jumped against the door, as if to say, "Let's go Dad!" Her owner started to cry. She didn't know what she was going to do about Cocoa and so, even though my heart wasn't ready for another dog, I told her, "I think Cocoa just solved your problem."


    Cocoa lived the next ten plus years with extreme separation anxiety. I am single and live alone. We went everywhere together. Even in the hospital to visit my mother many times as she dealt with the problems of old age. Well, until Cocoa rounded a corner and came nose to nose with a big "comfort dog" about three times her size. She barked and snarled and growled and carried on so loudly it got us permanently evicted.


    When a single person loses their dog, it's not just losing a member of the family. It's losing your whole family, at once. This past weekend was the longest, loneliest one of my life.


    Cocoa had been diagnosed with a tumor on her liver on Labor Day, 2019. I was concerned that she had gotten sick from the salmon skin I had given her that she seemed to love and I didn't like, a win-win situation I had been thinking. The vet showed me the x-ray and said her liver was at least twice the normal size, "This is not caused by salmon skin," she said.

    I asked how long would she live.


    "A month, maybe two?" she replied.


    That was over a year and a half ago. It's been a roller coaster ride since then, but all downhill. The peaks not quite as high and the valleys lower and lower. Our power walks became slower. Our walks less frequent. Our emergency trips to the vet more frequent. She liked to sleep under my bed, right below my head, until it was too painful to crawl under there I guess.


    When she refused to eat her dog food, which was always a five star rated one, I cooked her salmon without the skin, or meatballs or roast beef, which I don't eat as I am pescatarian nowadays, or anything that would stimulate her taste buds. When a dog refuses roast beef you know things are getting bad.


    So, Friday, she became so weak she couldn't stand. I took her to her regular vet, then to her oncologist vet as the sun was setting and he was finishing up with his last patients. Unable to go inside due to COVID-19, they started an IV while I warmed up the van. They brought her back to me wrapped in a blanket and placed her on the floor as I knelt over her and sobbed uncontrollably as I said good night, as I had every night, one last time,


    "Thank you for coming to stay with me.

    Thank you for keeping me company.

    Thank you for protecting me and making sure I get lots of fresh air and exercise.

    Thank you for giving up your family for me, I know that was a hard thing to do."


    Then it was all over. She went out of my life after exactly 3839 days, almost to the minute, as she had come in, right after dark, behind the driver's seat in my car.

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    Last edited: Feb 17, 2021
  2. RyanB

    RyanB Administrator Management Council Member PoA Supporter

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    Sorry to hear this. We just put ours down in September, I feel your pain!
     
  3. SoonerAviator

    SoonerAviator Final Approach

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    My condolences on your loss. We have lost one 15-yr old dog in fall 2020, and have two other 15-yr old dogs who are likely in their final few years as well. Dogs just love us so unconditionally that it makes it very hard to let them go. You provided her with a lifetime of security, even though her earliest days weren't filled with so much joy.
     
  4. GMascelli

    GMascelli En-Route

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    Sorry for your loss, and thanks for sharing your story.
     
  5. Bill

    Bill Touchdown! Greaser! PoA Supporter

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    Prayers for you in your time of sadness, and thanks for sharing your story.
     
  6. denverpilot

    denverpilot Tied Down PoA Supporter

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    Condolences.
     
  7. Morgan3820

    Morgan3820 En-Route

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    I still grieve for Samantha. I share your pain
     
  8. JuggyJet

    JuggyJet Pre-Flight

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    “Thank you for sharing”.

    I am having a hard time looking at the screen. Reminded me of losing my cat Juggy exactly a year ago. Slowly, your heart will heal. Cocoa is in good place now. The day will come when you will see her again...

    +++
    RainbowBridge

    Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

    When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

    All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

    They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

    You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

    Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

    Author unknown...
     
  9. eman1200

    eman1200 Touchdown! Greaser!

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    :( doggie :(
     
  10. bflynn

    bflynn Final Approach

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    Dammit, the screen went all blurry. I'll have to fix that.

    I'm sorry for your loss. I'm convinced we're only allowed to keep dogs for such a short time because there is so much love between us. It would be absolutely devastating if we became any more attached.
     
  11. Warlock

    Warlock Cleared for Takeoff PoA Supporter

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    Sorry for your loss...most of us don’t deserve the love and loyalty of a good dog...your tribute shows that you did. Here’s to Cocoa...Luna (My rescue) and I will toast the two of you tonight...
     
  12. 455 Bravo Uniform

    455 Bravo Uniform En-Route

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    You brought tears to my eyes. All I can say is that it doesn’t seem fair. They live too short a life.

    I did my first Pilots-n-Paws trip about a month after we had to put our 14 year old pup down. It helped.

    I pray that you are not too lonely. Perhaps there is a lonely pup on deck somewhere sometime waiting for you or someone like you to fulfill its purpose.
     
  13. Chip Sylverne

    Chip Sylverne Final Approach

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    Fear is the poison of our lives.
    I think I'll give mine an extra treat or two and let her snuggle a little closer on the couch tonight for "family time"..

    So sorry for your loss. Rescues choose you as much as you choose them.
    They know.
     
  14. hindsight2020

    hindsight2020 Final Approach

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    My sincere condolences for your loss. These animals become part of our chapters of life. The triumphs and losses, the milestones; it's hard to disassociate the ticking of our lives from their presence in them. That's what makes it hurt the most to me.

    As we experience that loss, and dread the time of loss of those still with us, it does bear repeating that they are and will forever be part of those chapters that make us who we are. That pawprint echoes in eternity. It is indeed then worth loving them and bringing them into our chaotic lives, even though we know it's gonna hurt like a mother---- to see them go before us. At least that's my rank rationalization for the whole thing.

    Long winded way of saying, from our feline-ruled household, we empathize with your pain. Their love and companionship is every bit worth it. It truly takes courage to open oneself to love that way; you did good in offering that to Cocoa, and thank you for sharing your story.
     
  15. William Pete Hodges

    William Pete Hodges Pre-takeoff checklist

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    As I am writing my 60 lb Brittany is on my lap, not that he is a lap dog. It wasn't that long ago (5years?) the we lost our German Pinscher, Neci, after having her for 13 years. I am truly sorry for your loss, and I understand exactly how you feel. Anyone that can write such a heartfelt story about their k9 companion has a lot of love to give. I hope your pain is short lived and that you feel better soon.
     
  16. Torque beast

    Torque beast Pre-Flight

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    I’m very sorry for your loss. I know exactly what your going through and it sucks. Each time I say not another but I always break down. In fact she is laying on my leg now and like yours she goes everywhere with me. I hate that your sad but I will say what makes me happy out of reading this post is seeing how much YOU loved her. There are so many POS dog owners that do not deserve the love they give. Nothing ****es me off more than seeing a neglected dog so you have my highest respect for loving her the same way she loved you. Beautiful girl and loved the story.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
     
  17. Kelvin

    Kelvin En-Route

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    <<<<<<<<< I feel you.
     
  18. dtuuri

    dtuuri En-Route

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    Thank you all for your kind sentiments. Our furry little friends want only to please their masters and they hurt deeply when they see that they've fallen short. The shame they feel is often undeserved, maybe never deserved when that happens because their hearts are pure. My first dog taught me never to say "Bad dog!" He hurt so much when I said it. My second dog gave me a second chance to avoid it. I think they were heaven-sent to teach ME how to behave.
     
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  19. steingar

    steingar Taxi to Parking

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    I have tortoises. They'll outlive me. Problem solved
     
  20. dtuuri

    dtuuri En-Route

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    LOL! They could eat ya alive, did ya ever think about that? :)
     
  21. Bill

    Bill Touchdown! Greaser! PoA Supporter

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    Somehow...fitting.
     
  22. Sluggo63

    Sluggo63 Cleared for Takeoff

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    I'm so sorry for your loss.
     
  23. Stan Cooper

    Stan Cooper Pattern Altitude PoA Supporter

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    I am so, so sorry to hear about your loss of Cocoa. You are very lucky to have had her companionship for so long, and the memories you have of your time together will remain with you, and you will smile. We have lost two golden retrievers, and our third is eleven now with his hind leg muscles atrophying. It's a shame their lifespan isn't closer to ours, because losing them is so devastating. It doesn't matter if you are a prince or a pauper, their love and devotion never wanes. We are damn lucky to share our planet with these wonderful creatures.
     
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  24. steingar

    steingar Taxi to Parking

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    My tortoises eat fruits and vegetables. Can be cheaper to feed than dogs, since the torts will happily eat the weeds out of my yard. And I am sorry for your loss. I've lost dogs, and it is really painful. Actually, despite them being somewhat mere creatures losing a tortoise can be really hard, especially since one often looses one after 50 or 60 years.
     
  25. EdFred

    EdFred Taxi to Parking

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    Should tighten those tortoises up if you keep loosing them.


    Losing a dog sucks. Just went through it in July.