Where do I start. Well for starters (that is as good as any place to start) due to popular demand, and @flhrci 's request, I decided to go ahead and pull the trigger on a burger review. The Carl's Jr./Hardee's Fiery Star. It's a Famous Star but with pepper jack cheese, spicy sauce goo, and jalapenos. So here was the plan: First, do my nominal 20 mile bike loop, stopping at Carl's Jr. roughly at the 15 mile marker, and stopping at the park at roughly the 18 mile marker so I could eat, wash up, and make pee pees and doo doos if I needed to do so. Getting through the drive through was uneventful except for the baboon in the Tundra ahead of me that just had to complicate his order and squabble over pennies. Everything was going great until right about the middle of the bridge, a quarter mile from the park, Psssssssssssss. There went my rear tire. I made it to the park. It's a good thing, because I'm going to have to wash up after the flat repair as well. Okay my bike is propped against a bench. This one deserves special mention. There are like, what, eight tables under the shade? And some group of like five people had to USE EVERY SINGLE LAST ONE to stack "stuff" like food and gift baskets. Like, WTF? How about pile it all on say two tables? Maybe? Huh? Yeah. "Why is Sac eating off a rusty barbecue grill?" Answer: EVERY SINGLE GD TABLE IS TAKEN. And I need a place to set it. Eating a lettuce wrapped burger requires two hands, and full attention, until said burger has been devoured. Now you can see that the lettering on the outer wrapper is upside down. I did it because those special needs employees are not sufficiently attentive to detail as to put the stickers on correctly. Of note: Usually, the promo burgers are served in closeable cardboard containers, vs. just wrapped in paper. I guess it means that they don't really consider it to be that good. Doesn't put me out though. Why waste paper products. Plus the smaller the package the easier it is to transport on bike. Well let's just get right to it. The review. Granted, this shot isn't very descriptive, but you can see a little bit of the fiery goo sauce on the wrapper and on the burger. A note on the lettuce. That is green leaf lettuce. That is not iceberg. It is an inferior lettuce product for the purpose of lettuce wrap. But, at least it is a lettuce wrap. So we have 1) two quarter pound burger patties. They seemed light to me but that is what they are supposed to be. 2) Onions. 3) Tomatoes. 4) A pepper jack slice. 5) Jalapenos. 6) Fiery orange too sauce. 7) Green leaf lettuce. A little if you are getting the bun. A lot if you aren't getting the bun. Yeah I know, I probably could have dissected it a little bit so you could see the innards but once I'm picking it up, that's it. Maybe if I had a table... just sayin. Now, the thing about pepper jack cheese, is that I would think, in the fast food hamburger business, anything with the word 'jack' in it would be a trademark reserved by ping pong head. I'm sure they've consulted corporate counsel and decided to be bold and put it out there. It's also possible it's in retaliation for the Jack in the Box 'Carl's Special.' I do not know if Jack in the Box has a Carl's special, but I wouldn't blame them if they did. Now mind you the texture of the green leaf lettuce is off. But, the bitter taste is masked by the overpowering spiciness of the jalapenos. I'm not exactly sure I could describe the exact flavor of the fiery sauce, as the taste was masked by the jalapenos. Or it is very possible that it in itself contributed to the overwhelming spiciness. Overall it really wasn't bad, but had I not visually seen the pepper jack cheese, I wouldn't even have known it was there. Maybe masking the taste of the pepper jack by overspicing it was a capitulation towards ping pong head boy. A note on the flat tire. I know, I know, what does a foil wrapped slab of baby back ribs waiting to go in to the oven have to do with a flat tire? I'm operating on a tight time schedule. I need to get back home so I can put the ribs in the oven so we aren't eating at midnight. About that flat tire. I don't bother with patches anymore. They work okay on mountain bike tires but are temporary at best on high pressure road tubes, plus sometimes it is difficult to locate the location of the leak on the road. I am always happy and relieved to find the little piece of metal or puncture thorn sticking out of the inside of the tire, because it means that I've found it. If I haven't found it, it was a complete pullout, or it's still in there. Two out of three times, it's the latter. Two out of three families get started that way. So the bottom line question: Do I give the new Fiery Star a go? Sure. Give it a try. But if you're on a Metamucil diet you might want to rethink that one. Would I get another one? Probably not. The only thing I eat at Carl's these days is the Double Western Bacon Cheeseburger. That is actually a much better burger taste wise. And before @flhrci gives me a hard time for not taking one for the team by not eating the bun, I will kindly remind him that I took several things for the team today to effect this review. I passed up an opportunity to have a Habit Burger and see my Burger Girls. The routing that I used to gain entrance to the park resulted in a flat tire that I would not otherwise have if I had actually gone to Habit Burger. Plus, I had to put up with a million little screaming brats yelling "Hey mister, what are you doing to your bicycle tire?" Two out of three of them shouldn't even be here.