[pirep]Carl's Fiery Star Burger

Discussion in 'Hangar Talk' started by Sac Arrow, Feb 6, 2021.

  1. Sac Arrow

    Sac Arrow Touchdown! Greaser!

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    Where do I start. Well for starters (that is as good as any place to start) due to popular demand, and @flhrci 's request, I decided to go ahead and pull the trigger on a burger review. The Carl's Jr./Hardee's Fiery Star. It's a Famous Star but with pepper jack cheese, spicy sauce goo, and jalapenos. So here was the plan: First, do my nominal 20 mile bike loop, stopping at Carl's Jr. roughly at the 15 mile marker, and stopping at the park at roughly the 18 mile marker so I could eat, wash up, and make pee pees and doo doos if I needed to do so.

    c1.jpg

    Getting through the drive through was uneventful except for the baboon in the Tundra ahead of me that just had to complicate his order and squabble over pennies. Everything was going great until right about the middle of the bridge, a quarter mile from the park, Psssssssssssss. There went my rear tire. I made it to the park. It's a good thing, because I'm going to have to wash up after the flat repair as well.

    Okay my bike is propped against a bench. This one deserves special mention. There are like, what, eight tables under the shade? And some group of like five people had to USE EVERY SINGLE LAST ONE to stack "stuff" like food and gift baskets. Like, WTF? How about pile it all on say two tables? Maybe? Huh?

    c2.jpg

    Yeah. "Why is Sac eating off a rusty barbecue grill?" Answer: EVERY SINGLE GD TABLE IS TAKEN. And I need a place to set it. Eating a lettuce wrapped burger requires two hands, and full attention, until said burger has been devoured. Now you can see that the lettering on the outer wrapper is upside down. I did it because those special needs employees are not sufficiently attentive to detail as to put the stickers on correctly. Of note: Usually, the promo burgers are served in closeable cardboard containers, vs. just wrapped in paper. I guess it means that they don't really consider it to be that good. Doesn't put me out though. Why waste paper products. Plus the smaller the package the easier it is to transport on bike.

    c3.jpg

    Well let's just get right to it. The review. Granted, this shot isn't very descriptive, but you can see a little bit of the fiery goo sauce on the wrapper and on the burger. A note on the lettuce. That is green leaf lettuce. That is not iceberg. It is an inferior lettuce product for the purpose of lettuce wrap. But, at least it is a lettuce wrap. So we have 1) two quarter pound burger patties. They seemed light to me but that is what they are supposed to be. 2) Onions. 3) Tomatoes. 4) A pepper jack slice. 5) Jalapenos. 6) Fiery orange too sauce. 7) Green leaf lettuce. A little if you are getting the bun. A lot if you aren't getting the bun. Yeah I know, I probably could have dissected it a little bit so you could see the innards but once I'm picking it up, that's it. Maybe if I had a table... just sayin.

    Now, the thing about pepper jack cheese, is that I would think, in the fast food hamburger business, anything with the word 'jack' in it would be a trademark reserved by ping pong head. I'm sure they've consulted corporate counsel and decided to be bold and put it out there. It's also possible it's in retaliation for the Jack in the Box 'Carl's Special.' I do not know if Jack in the Box has a Carl's special, but I wouldn't blame them if they did.

    Now mind you the texture of the green leaf lettuce is off. But, the bitter taste is masked by the overpowering spiciness of the jalapenos. I'm not exactly sure I could describe the exact flavor of the fiery sauce, as the taste was masked by the jalapenos. Or it is very possible that it in itself contributed to the overwhelming spiciness. Overall it really wasn't bad, but had I not visually seen the pepper jack cheese, I wouldn't even have known it was there. Maybe masking the taste of the pepper jack by overspicing it was a capitulation towards ping pong head boy.

    A note on the flat tire.

    c4.jpg

    I know, I know, what does a foil wrapped slab of baby back ribs waiting to go in to the oven have to do with a flat tire? I'm operating on a tight time schedule. I need to get back home so I can put the ribs in the oven so we aren't eating at midnight.

    About that flat tire. I don't bother with patches anymore. They work okay on mountain bike tires but are temporary at best on high pressure road tubes, plus sometimes it is difficult to locate the location of the leak on the road. I am always happy and relieved to find the little piece of metal or puncture thorn sticking out of the inside of the tire, because it means that I've found it. If I haven't found it, it was a complete pullout, or it's still in there. Two out of three times, it's the latter. Two out of three families get started that way.

    So the bottom line question: Do I give the new Fiery Star a go? Sure. Give it a try. But if you're on a Metamucil diet you might want to rethink that one. Would I get another one? Probably not. The only thing I eat at Carl's these days is the Double Western Bacon Cheeseburger. That is actually a much better burger taste wise.

    And before @flhrci gives me a hard time for not taking one for the team by not eating the bun, I will kindly remind him that I took several things for the team today to effect this review. I passed up an opportunity to have a Habit Burger and see my Burger Girls. The routing that I used to gain entrance to the park resulted in a flat tire that I would not otherwise have if I had actually gone to Habit Burger. Plus, I had to put up with a million little screaming brats yelling "Hey mister, what are you doing to your bicycle tire?"

    Two out of three of them shouldn't even be here.
     
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  2. Warlock

    Warlock Cleared for Takeoff PoA Supporter

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    Classic...
     
  3. Hang 4

    Hang 4 Cleared for Takeoff

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    Nice bike, flat on the Gatorskins? Might deserve it's own rant.
     
  4. Sac Arrow

    Sac Arrow Touchdown! Greaser!

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    Seriously. I've seen third world countries with cleaner streets than around here. The Gatorskins aren't immune to flats - they just turn ever couple weeks in to every couple months.
     
  5. flhrci

    flhrci Final Approach

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    @Sac Arrow Your sacrifice(s) for the team is noted! Thank you fro the review! Sounds like really spicy hot and no flavor. Meh.

    Wasn't going to harass you about the lack of bun today. lol
     
  6. SoonerAviator

    SoonerAviator Final Approach

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    Careful, Sac. You're going to blow an o-ring caving to all of the spicy food reviews.

    Sent from my SM-N976U using Tapatalk
     
    Last edited: Feb 6, 2021
  7. NealRomeoGolf

    NealRomeoGolf En-Route

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    10 out of 10 review.
     
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  8. JuggyJet

    JuggyJet Pre-Flight

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    “I think I just **** my pants...”
    “Lettuce wraps will do that...”

    That was only six days ago...here you go again...
     
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  9. Sac Arrow

    Sac Arrow Touchdown! Greaser!

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    Oh right... the ribs:

    r1.jpg

    Too lazy to put them back in the oven and crisp them. Doesn't affect the taste.

    r2.jpg

    Mmmmmmm. Hecka yummy.
     
  10. Ghery

    Ghery Touchdown! Greaser!

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    The key thing I go to Carl's Junior for, as well. Or a single western bacon cheeseburger. Good burgers.
     
  11. charheep

    charheep Line Up and Wait PoA Supporter

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    Is that tape you used on the bag rated for the speeds you obtain on the bike?
     
  12. Sac Arrow

    Sac Arrow Touchdown! Greaser!

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    Actually, it's rated for 0 F, as it is freezer tape. It's the only kind of masking tape the grocery store carried.
     
  13. Deelee

    Deelee Cleared for Takeoff

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    Makes me wish there was a Carl's Jr around here.... wonder if Hardees has the same Western Bacon Cheeseburger?
     
  14. Bill

    Bill Touchdown! Greaser! PoA Supporter

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  15. Deelee

    Deelee Cleared for Takeoff

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    Thank you!!
    I probably should have not been so lazy and actually went to the Hardees website... And now that I have gone there I am hungry. And the nearest Hardees is not close... but closer than Carl's Jr....
     
  16. Sac Arrow

    Sac Arrow Touchdown! Greaser!

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    They used to have slight differences in the menu, but now as far as I know, both have fully merged and are exactly the same. But they have other good burgers too - if I'm not getting the Double Western Bacon Cheeseburger, I'm getting a Guacamole Bacon Cheeseburger. The problem is, they have eliminated the 1/2 lb burger patty from the menu and replaced it with a 1/3 lb patty for their 'Thickburger' series, and that is what the GBC falls under. That is an awkward size. For me, 1/2 lb is just right for lunch, and 1 lb is just right for dinner. The DWBC works because it is two 1/4 lb patties.
     
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  17. Lndwarrior

    Lndwarrior Line Up and Wait

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    Dear gawd. Did anyone actually read that entire thing?

    Sometimes I think I live in an alternate universe when I read the stuff on this board.

    Not bashing anyone, clearly many get a kick out of this stuff. Maybe I'm just too serious...ok, not maybe.
     
  18. Bill

    Bill Touchdown! Greaser! PoA Supporter

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    Says the guy with a furry creature on his wing lol.
     
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  19. timrb

    timrb Pre-takeoff checklist

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    I stopped when I got to "lettuce wrap".

    Edit: I forced myself to get past "pee pees and doo doos".

    Tim
     
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  20. steingar

    steingar Taxi to Parking

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    You still eat too much junk food, you damn mutant.
     
  21. asicer

    asicer Final Approach

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    I believe the correct term is "possessing an evolutionary advantage".
     
  22. Sac Arrow

    Sac Arrow Touchdown! Greaser!

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    Well, I did post an aviation content thread today, where were you?
     
  23. charheep

    charheep Line Up and Wait PoA Supporter

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    Dunno, I enjoy reading these posts. Keep em coming
     
  24. Doug Reid

    Doug Reid Line Up and Wait

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    Real men do not eat anything wrapped in lettuce...only bacon !
     
  25. Sac Arrow

    Sac Arrow Touchdown! Greaser!

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    So quiche is acceptable if wrapped in bacon?
     
  26. Bill

    Bill Touchdown! Greaser! PoA Supporter

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    So I suppose the realest of men eat bacon wrapped bacon.
     
  27. Sac Arrow

    Sac Arrow Touchdown! Greaser!

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    That would be like cloning a Chuck Norris and Jean Claude Van Damme hybrid.