NA - You have 1 hour to talk to your dog. What's the conversation?

Discussion in 'Hangar Talk' started by SixPapaCharlie, Oct 27, 2020.

  1. nauga

    nauga Administrator Management Council Member PoA Supporter

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    Nauga,
    and Tiny Rick
     
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  2. Matthew

    Matthew Touchdown! Greaser!

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  3. NoHeat

    NoHeat En-Route

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    The dog version of busting a VIP TFR.

    upload_2020-10-28_22-19-15.jpeg
     
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  4. bflynn

    bflynn Final Approach

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    I've been thinking about this a bit - ok, I'm slow.

    Do you really understand our words or are you just reacting to the tone of our voice?

    I know you can't be expected to hold it forever, but could we work out a clear system for you tell me when you need to go out? You don't have to poop in the dining room.

    I love having you close to me, but if we're laying down, I don't want your butt in my face, ok? Just try to consider it.

    When you got into that fight with the wolf/shepherd mix down the street, WTF WERE YOU THINKING?! You're like 1/10th his size. Nice job staying alive though.
     
  5. DaleB

    DaleB En-Route

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    Our dog could pick the word "walk" out of a conversation - along with numerous others, like "treat", "Pupperoni", "mailbox", grankids' names, etc. We started spelling certain words around him.

    He figured that out too. You could insert "w - a - l - k" into the middle of a conversation, or "m - a - i - l", and he'd come trotting in from the other room looking at you expectantly.

    We could also tell him to go get one of his toys, by name. He knew them all.
     
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  6. Kenny Phillips

    Kenny Phillips En-Route

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    How do you know that your dog's poo tastes good?
     
  7. SixPapaCharlie

    SixPapaCharlie May the force be with you

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    When I toss you a pizza crust do you get a little annoyed that I ate the good part?
    Do you even know there is a better part?
     
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  8. NHWannabe

    NHWannabe Line Up and Wait

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    1. Do you have any sense of time?
    2. How do you sense someone is an A hole? Can you teach me that?
    3. Why do you go nuts in the snow?
    4. Why do you take longer to pee when it's raining?
     
  9. Palmpilot

    Palmpilot Touchdown! Greaser! PoA Supporter

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    I love it!!! :cheers:
     
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  10. PaulS

    PaulS Touchdown! Greaser!

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    Why did you crap on the carpet when the tile floor is 2 feet away?
     
  11. JCranford

    JCranford En-Route

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    Love it, but I’m going to have to think about this one for a minute. It’s hard not to get all sentimental cuz I love my puppers!
     
  12. Half Fast

    Half Fast Final Approach

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    Me: Listen, when I tell you “Stay!” or “Come!” 9 times out of 10 it’s for your own safety. Would you please trust me on this?

    Him: Uh huh. The last time you pointed to the truck and said “Load up!” you took me to the vet and had my balls cut off. Trust you?!

    Me: Yeah, well, ummm,....
     
  13. NoBShere

    NoBShere Pre-takeoff checklist

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    How did you know my neighbor on the right is a dick before meeting him and the family on the right are the friendliest people you’ll ever meet?

    why do you bark and growl to meet people at the cabin or in the backseat of the car but everywhere (Home, walks, Park, doggy daycare, vet, etc) else you’re just a bouncy, smiling, tail wagging happy dog?

    Why are you so picky about the exact spot where you drop a deuce?

    Can you teach me to speak “dog” so we can have more than an hour and talk **** about all the stupid humans around us?
     
  14. jimhorner

    jimhorner Line Up and Wait

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    You’re almost 15 years old now, and you lost your sight suddenly 8 years ago. How much do you remember being able to see? Do you still think about it? Do your nose and sense of smell adequately compensate?

    And now you are completely deaf and have been for over a year now. I wish you could let us know if that bothers you and how much.

    You still seem excited to greet us every morning and when we get home from going out. You still wag your tail and do the whole playful bow thing, although your energy level is much lower than it used to be, and you sleep a lot. How is your quality of life? Do you still enjoy being a dog and being with us? Do you ever think about the old days when you were able to run and play? Do you miss it?

    I love that you always seem to be able to find me wherever I am and like to be in the same room with me. It’s great to hear that weird bark you make every now and then. Boy, that sure has changed since you lost your hearing.

    What do you really think about the cats? The 17 year old one sure seems to love you. Do you feel the same about her? It’s great to see how you and she spend so much time together. Two old ladies in your golden years.

    I know it frustrates the other cat a bit because you can’t hear him asking you to let him in and out through the automatic doggy door like you used to. Did you ever realize that the reason we got that type of doggy door was so that he wouldn’t be able to get out? It was always funny to see you get up from wherever you were and go stand by the door so it would open whenever he would meow. You certainly helped him in his plans to go out catting around.

    Do you ever think about our son who grew up with you and has moved to the East Coast for school. Do you wonder where he is? You sure seem excited on his rare visits home.

    How did it feel when that skunk sprayed you a few months ago? There you were in the side yard, just doing your business, and wham. I know you didn’t see him or hear him, so I’m sure you missed all of his warning signs. What a smell you brought into the house that night! Not like the time you were a puppy and we were surrounded by three of them on the trail while walking. You were such a good dog then. Sat on command and didn’t bark or lunge. I was so proud of you that we were able to be calm and finally just walk past them.

    I hope you know how much you mean to us and how much we love you. I hope you know that we will always take care of you.

    [​IMG]
     
    Last edited: Nov 1, 2020
  15. Checkout_my_Six

    Checkout_my_Six Touchdown! Greaser!

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    I'd say.....listen mutt....it's a ruff world out there. ;)
     
  16. MuseChaser

    MuseChaser Pattern Altitude

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    You're killin' me, Nate. That was beautiful.
     
  17. jimhorner

    jimhorner Line Up and Wait

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    Thanks, but, uhh, who's Nate?


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro
     
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  18. MuseChaser

    MuseChaser Pattern Altitude

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    Woof....no explanation. I could have sworn that your post had @denverpilot 's avatar and sig when I read it. My apologies. It was a beautiful post... Thank you.
     
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  19. FormerHangie

    FormerHangie En-Route

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    We have one of those in our house as well. If we weren't a continent apart and that ours is 12 rather than 15 years old, I would think they could be littermates.
    HannahOnCouch1.jpg
     
  20. jimhorner

    jimhorner Line Up and Wait

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    That’s an amazing resemblance. And yours is also blind and deaf?
     
  21. JCranford

    JCranford En-Route

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    Yup, exactly what I was talking about! Nicely put!
     
  22. FormerHangie

    FormerHangie En-Route

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    She's getting cataracts and her hearing isn't what it used to be, but she can still see and hear.
     
  23. jimhorner

    jimhorner Line Up and Wait

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    You’re lucky. Ours lost her sight at a relatively young age pretty much in a couple of days. Sudden Acquired Retinal Degeneration Syndrome (SARDS). No known treatment. She still does okay getting around, although she bumps into things every now and then. Losing her hearing was tougher. When it was just her eyesight that was gone, she could still hear us. Now that’s gone as well. All she can do is smell, taste, and touch. Makes us sad if we allow ourselves to think about it. She does seem to still enjoy her life, though, and we make sure to give her lots of attention.
     
  24. PPC1052

    PPC1052 En-Route

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    "Who do you think will win this election?"
     
  25. Palmpilot

    Palmpilot Touchdown! Greaser! PoA Supporter

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  26. A Martin

    A Martin Pre-Flight

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    I have never met a talking dog , but when I was a kid I knew a man who
    had a dog that could do simple math.

    MAN ... what is 3 plus 2
    DOG ... bark bark bark bark bark

    MAN ... what is 2 times 2
    DOG ... bark bark bark bark

    MAN ... what is 8 minus 6
    DOG ... bark bark

    I was both amazed and skeptical so every time they did a demonstration I watched for body
    or hand gestures to figure out the trick. Nothing , the owner stood there like a statue

    Then I decided he had maybe pre-trained the dog to do a series of barks that coincided with his questions.
    So I blurted out .... what is 57 minus 54

    DOG ... bark bark bark

    Many years later I was told that the owner (who stood still like a statue) had trained his
    dog to bark every time the man blinked

    ---------------

    In a minute I have a true story of our family dog who had ESP
     
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  27. A Martin

    A Martin Pre-Flight

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    Our dog must have had ESP (Extra Sensory Perception)

    My young brother Pete had a German Sheppard in the 1970's
    Pete was the last kid in the family and when he moved out and got married he left the dog at home with dad

    Dad was an old retired farmer and lived in town so the dog was good companionship for him

    Dad rented out the farmland , it had a forest and a river and the dog absolutely loved it if someone took him out there for a day.

    Trouble is nobody did except for one brother-in-law (Scott) who would take a country trip every couple of weeks or so.

    A pattern began to emerge .... dad noticed the normally quiet (mostly sleeping) dog would get all excited and stand at dads front door whining with happy anticipation and a while later Scott would show up to take the dog to the farm.

    It was always a topic of conversation among the family , we already knew it was a smart dog , and we attributed it to the keen ears of the dog who could hear Scott's truck coming several blocks away.

    BUT NO .... that didn't explain it ... dad lived on a busy street , Scott had a new quiet running truck without any unique sounds or anything to differentiate it from all the other traffic. Besides , the dog would be sitting at the door 15 to 20 minutes before Scott was even on our street .... something else going on here.

    So Scott and dad began comparing notes .... Scott lived on the other side of town and most of the time it was a spur of the moment decision to go to the farm .... so he would make note of the exact time ... and dad would make note of the exact time the dog got excited and waited at the door.

    Turns out it was at the moment Scott decided to take a trip that dog knew it somehow. This pattern repeated itself for many years and I am a believer that dogs have a sixth sense that we are not aware of.
     
  28. Skyrys62

    Skyrys62 En-Route

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    You need to start pulling your weight around here.
    What days of the week can I count on you to go to work for me?
     
  29. denverpilot

    denverpilot Tied Down PoA Supporter

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    Why do you wait to take a crap until 2AM?
     
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  30. denverpilot

    denverpilot Tied Down PoA Supporter

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    ^^^ @MuseChaser accidentally thought I would be all eloquent and chit... LOL ^^^
     
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  31. Zeldman

    Zeldman Touchdown! Greaser!

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    I have never had a conversation with a dog, but I do have foggy memories of a long time ago pilot party in Alaska. Somehow I ended up on the floor under the kitchen table and was talking to the cat. And the cat was talking back.....

    I seem to recall the conversation was about dogs, and some guy named Pavlov whose dog trained him to come whenever the dog rang a bell.....

    Like I said, it was a long time ago and that night is foggy to me.
     
  32. MacFlier

    MacFlier Pre-takeoff checklist

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    What type of information do you get when you smell a turd on the sidewalk?
     
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  33. Half Fast

    Half Fast Final Approach

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    How is it that you can pick up a scent on the ground from a critter you haven't seen and be able to tell which direction he went?
     
  34. eman1200

    eman1200 Touchdown! Greaser!

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    "this is a fridge"
    "this is a bottle of beer"
    "this is a bottle opener"
    "that's a goood boy"
     
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  35. FormerHangie

    FormerHangie En-Route

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    Dogs don't need much to be happy, and they don't seem to care about what they no longer have. As long as they get a comfortable place to sleep, some decent food, and are with their family, that's all they need. We humans could take a lesson from them.

    Ours is about 18 inches at the shoulder, and when she was young, she was really good on her back legs. No food was safe if it was within six inches of the edge of the counter. One time while I was eating lunch, my daughter had her outside, and when she came back in, the dog trotted in, got up on her hind legs, and grabbed something off of my plate. Not something that you want to have happen too often, but it was too funny for me to get after her too much. She's always been quite the chowhound, at least when it comes to people food. All of her adult life she weighed 36 or 37 pounds, but at her last vet visit, she was down to 34 pounds. I've started making ground beef and rice for her, I fill her bowl about two thirds with kibble,and the rest with about two thirds of a cup of beef and rice. She eats the entire contents of the bowl now and looks like she's filling out a bit, and she seems more energetic as well.

    My sister had a large pit bull that lived to be 15. The last few years of his life he ate mostly raw meat. My sister tells me that he would eat his fill of raw meat and stop, but if you gave him cooked meat he'd eat himself sick.
     
  36. A Martin

    A Martin Pre-Flight

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    Most store bought dog food is grain based.

    Our family has always liked oatmeal porridge for breakfast and whoever gets out of bed first makes a large pot.

    The leftover goes to the dog .... they like it just fine but we also mix in leftover roast beef drippings and any trimmed fat from cooked steaks , or leftover scraps of chicken or fish or whatever. Dogs absolutely love it.

    Drives me bananas when I see some families throw huge portions of (expensive) leftover meat straight into the garbage and then drive to the store to buy dog food.

    .
     
  37. Pilawt

    Pilawt Final Approach

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    A conversation with a dog would be one thing. But I have no interest in a conversation with our cat. I don't have any desire to be talked down to.

    IMG_5359.jpeg
     
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  38. Jeff Oslick

    Jeff Oslick En-Route

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    I see a conversation with a cat would be like talking to St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. You know you're gonna be judged.
     
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  39. Bill

    Bill Touchdown! Greaser! PoA Supporter

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    "When friends come over and you smell their crotch, what do you learn?"
     
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  40. FormerHangie

    FormerHangie En-Route

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    That cat looks like he/she is about to punch someone.
     
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