NA - New Firearm Category

Half Fast

Touchdown! Greaser!
Joined
May 7, 2016
Messages
21,187
Location
Central Florida
Display Name
Half Fast
Home Airfield
KGIF
Most folks are no doubt familiar with several categories of firearms: the deer gun, the squirrel gun, the courtroom gun, the BBQ gun, the survival gun, the nightstand gun, etc., etc. @SkyChaser and @2-Bit Speed 's recent new addition to the family has made me realize that there's a category that has been long overlooked, and I believe the members of POA can help set some parameters and identify suitable candidates for it. This category will be known as the "Prom Date Gun."

The Prom Date Gun (PDG) is the weapon Dad will have in his hands or on his person when a would-be Lothario shows up at the door to take Dad's baby girl to the prom. Obviously the weapon must be intimidating at a minimum, but I feel it should have an appearance going well beyond that. The PDG should not only cause the color to drain from the kid's face, but it should cause all his testosterone to drain out through his shoes and leave his knees weak and quaking.

One (too) obvious choice would be a short-barrel 12ga pump, stuffed with magnum buckshot and with a receiver-mounted shell carrier holding extra rounds. That's really overkill (not necessarily a bad thing), though, and something more classic might be just as effective. Perhaps a short-barrel 12ga SxS (think coach gun) with exposed hammers could do the job, be easier to handle, and give Dad that old-school "you-won't-be-my-first-homicide" look.

But there are many, many more possibilities that go beyond simple shotguns, and could extend to an entire aresenal instead of just one firearm. Method of carry is important, as are accessories and even Dad's demeanor (a suspicious look? an evil grin?). The inclusion of a blood-stained machete or Bowie knife could enhance the effect.

So what say you, POA? What are your experiences? What recommendations do you have? Help out the new Dad. Young Juliette is depending on you!

1770845342509.png
 
The most distinctive sound in the world is the racking of a pump action shot gun with maybe a Judge on the belt and a gold .50 cal Desert Eagle on the end table.
I mean 2 is 1 and 14 is none or however that saying goes :cool:
 
A hotchkins gun on a tripod. (Basically a Gatling gun but for 2” (?) explosive shells… not portable, but doesn’t really need to be….)

There is also something to be said for an old flintlock dragon pistol… hand him a 60 or 70 caliber soft lead ball….”just think, this would hurt if somebody threw it at you….what would it do at a 1000fps?….”
 
On a more serious note, the derringer you hand the young lady as they leave… with a “if he try’s anything funny”… would probably be the most effective..but no longer socially acceptable..
 
I'm reminded of this scene from Leathal Weapon 2

George opens h i s mouth t o speak, b u t d o e s n ' t get a word
RIANNE
George i s going home.
He's afraid of daddy.

RIGGS
George, l e t ' s have a t a l k .
Riggs puts his arm around George's shoulder and takes
him aside in a fatherly manner.
RIGGS
Stick around.
I t ' s a big
night for Rianne. D o n ' t l e t her down.
GEORGE
B u t , S i r . • . Mr. Murtaugh has a gun.
RIGGS
T h a t ' s t r u e , George.
( b e a t )
But on the other hand, he i s n ' t a
very good shot.



but I imagine you are thinking of a different kind of encounter.
 
the gun to protect Juliette should be called the Pew Pew #2. I don't have to explain why.
 
But, being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: "Do I feel lucky?
Or, see signature.
 
Colt Dragoon lying on the coffee table, shotgun leaning against the chair, sniper rifle on Dad’s lap while filing the spruce off the rifle bullets.

You’ve got the close-in man-to-man discussion gun, the “get off my property” gun, and the “it really doesn’t matter how fast you run, you can’t get out of range fast enough” rifle.
 
Colt Dragoon lying on the coffee table, shotgun leaning against the chair, sniper rifle on Dad’s lap while filing the spruce off the rifle bullets.

You’ve got the close-in man-to-man discussion gun, the “get off my property” gun, and the “it really doesn’t matter how fast you run, you can’t get out of range fast enough” rifle.


...and maybe a shovel and sack of lime over in the corner.
 
here's a movie clip that might give you some ideas:

 
Be aware, it might turn into a situation like my daughter’s (now fiancé). I have quite a display of vintage firearms in my living room and he was a farm boy from a hunting family so our first meeting turned into an hour long discussion on guns and swapping hunting stories until my daughter got frustrated and made him leave to go on their date.
 
Be aware, it might turn into a situation like my daughter’s (now fiancé). I have quite a display of vintage firearms in my living room and he was a farm boy from a hunting family so our first meeting turned into an hour long discussion on guns and swapping hunting stories until my daughter got frustrated and made him leave to go on their date.

Sounds pretty good!
 
Sounds pretty good!
Heck ya, turns out he was one heck of a nice, smart kid and once I did a bit a snooping on him and his family, he is sole heir to 640 acres of farm ground 20 minutes to the north and 140 acres of timberline land along the Mississippi in the north east corner of iowa with a hunting cabin on it. They have now dated a couple years and he just got back stateside from an active duty deployment with the army reserves and put down a large down payment on a house for them about 10 miles away so I’m in the “get married to him camp”
 
I’m thinking a nice looking .45 with a suppressor sitting on the side table next to Dad’s easy chair, close at hand while Dad has a quiet “chat” with him, might be effective.
 
My friend Rick is a living legend in Army Special Ops. He saw combat in dozens of places during his long career. Some highlights:

- On the ground in Iran for EAGLE CLAW.
- Won a Silver Star for a firefight at Panmunjom, Korea in 1984.
- Wounded in the forehead during the Battle of Mogadishu. Has an RPG fragment lodged in the center of his brain.

Rick is a HARD man. But also very friendly.

Rick has a daughter. When her first prom date came to pick her up, Rick took him down to the basement to see his reloading bench. He taught the kid to make a sniper round. Then he wrote the kid's name on the cartridge with a sharpie and said "we'll just put this up on the shelf in case we ever need it."

FB_IMG_1770857196962.jpg
 
Last edited:
I have a good friend who is a living legend in Army Special Ops. Long career, saw combat in dozens of places. Highlights:

- On the ground for Operation EAGLE CLAW.
- Won a Silver Star for a firefight at Panmunjom, Korea in 1984 during a peacetime border incursion.
- Wounded in the forehead during the Battle of Mogadishu. Has an RPG fragment in the center of his brain.

Rick is a HARD man.

Anyhow, Rick has a daughter. When her first date came over, Rick took him down to the basement to see his reloading bench. He taught the kid to make a sniper round. Then he wrote the kid's name on the casing with a sharpie and said "we'll just put this up on the shelf in case we ever need it."

View attachment 149840
Not going to top that!
 
As with most things engineers dream up, this is overly complicated. For a dad, the BBQ gun fills this role, as does a partial or complete Cowboy Action Shooting rig. For the unwashed Floridaman, he can also don the Galco Miami Classic rig, sans linen jacket in a heritage throwback. Movie aficionados can pull up a lawn chair and opt for the Garand in a nod to Eastwood.

But for creativity, I vote for a Buster Scruggs style gallows.
 
I have a good friend who is a living legend in Army Special Ops. Long career, saw combat in dozens of places. Highlights:

- On the ground for Operation EAGLE CLAW.
- Won a Silver Star for a firefight at Panmunjom, Korea in 1984 during a peacetime border incursion.
- Wounded in the forehead during the Battle of Mogadishu. Has an RPG fragment in the center of his brain.

Rick is a HARD man.

Anyhow, Rick has a daughter. When her first date came over, Rick took him down to the basement to see his reloading bench. He taught the kid to make a sniper round. Then he wrote the kid's name on the casing with a sharpie and said "we'll just put this up on the shelf in case we ever need it."

View attachment 149840
I thought you were going to launch into the Ash Street shootout. While Rangers, I think that was around your time in service.
 
As with most things engineers dream up, this is overly complicated. For a dad, the BBQ gun fills this role, as does a partial or complete Cowboy Action Shooting rig. For the unwashed Floridaman, he can also don the Galco Miami Classic rig, sans linen jacket in a heritage throwback. Movie aficionados can pull up a lawn chair and opt for the Garand in a nod to Eastwood.

But for creativity, I vote for a Buster Scruggs style gallows.

You would forfeit justification for another gun purchase?
 
It doesn't matter. Just be disassembling and cleaning and reassembling it when the lothario appears at the house. Dining room table is impressive.
 
You would forfeit justification for another gun purchase?
Who said don’t buy another gun? Your thread title is New Firearm Category. I’m simply postulating a new category is not needed.
 
Showed up at Melanie’s house to take her on a date. Me a young ensign, she was fresh out of college still living at home. Dad a retired gunners mate master chief from WWII…

Eyeballing me up and down skeptically, “son, wanna see my gun collection?”

No master chief.

“Wanna see my daughter’s gun collection?”

THEN the evening started getting interesting.
 
Coming full circle back to the original question. This is the answer. I don’t have one, I want one, and I have been actively looking for a “core” to build one from for a couple years to no joy. Zero practicality…but I want one just “because”…it’s awsome.
 
Be aware, it might turn into a situation like my daughter’s (now fiancé). I have quite a display of vintage firearms in my living room and he was a farm boy from a hunting family so our first meeting turned into an hour long discussion on guns and swapping hunting stories until my daughter got frustrated and made him leave to go on their date.
This is a win. She has good judgement.
 
Back
Top