Misused American Slang = Awkward at the office

SixPapaCharlie

SixPapaCharlie

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This happened last night and I laughed for a good 20 minutes.

I have a developer whose native language is not English.
I have a major project I am working on and I am also on call so lots of stress and long hours. Yesterday this is our IM session:


Bryan:
Ugh, I have 6 open issues that need to be addressed now. I am going to knock these out and hopefully it will be quiet after that.

Developer:
Beat the Wood....

------------------------------------------
Okay, I knew what he meant. He had used this phrase over the last year or so instead of "knock on wood" and I just let it go.
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2 hours later


Developer:
How is things going

Bryan:
All quiet now

Developer:
Great! I've been beating the wood for you!

Bryan:
I am going to log off before the next round of tickets comes in

Developer:
cool.. Good Night!

Bryan:
Actually...
There is 1 more very important thing.

Developer:
wats that?

Bryan:
make sure when you use that expression, you say "knock on wood"
you can google the way you typed it and it means something TOTALLY different.

Developer:
r u serious

Bryan:
yes
it is American slang


Developer:
I will google it now.


Developer:
LOL.......OMG.......
I didn't realized that. I never meant anything like that!!!!
OMG!!!

Bryan:
yup.

Developer:
Thanks for catching that. I will always remember that.

Bryan:
Just wanted to make sure you didn't scare someone later :)
No biggie.
But yes, we "knock on wood" for good luck

Developer:
U know why I say Beat is to get More Good Luck... like knocking is slow and beating is hard ....in this sence.
anyways..... I might not ever learn all american slangs. But I am sure my son will.

Bryan:
Yes he will

Developer:
Thanks and I know this will keep smiles on our faces for long time.
Good Night!
 
Sally the American Tourist: I need a wake up call at 5:30 a.m.

Nigel: Sure, I'd be glad to knock you up in the morning.

Sally the American Tourist: Say what!?
 
FastEddieB said:
Anyone know where the term "knock on wood" came from?

I think I do, though it may be apocryphal.
Click to expand...
We probably have heard the same story. The Brits say "touch wood".
 
"Do the needful." I hear it all too often ... not a misuse of slang, but it's beginning to grate on my nerves.
 
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow, sounds great to me!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
 
Kelvin said:
I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow, sounds great to me!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."
Click to expand...

Did you turn Purple?
 
gkainz said:
"Do the needful." I hear it all too often ... not a misuse of slang, but it's beginning to grate on my nerves.
Click to expand...

+1000
That and "please revert for any clarification"
 
gkainz said:
"Do the needful." I hear it all too often ... not a misuse of slang, but it's beginning to grate on my nerves.
Click to expand...

I just got a lot of laughs on a call by saying that with the accent.

Gonna get me fired one day... :redface: ...but I do treat everyone with respect. I only can't stand idiots.

And I've always been very good at understanding people with thick accents. My guys used to think that I spoke Korean.
 
FastEddieB said:
Anyone know where the term "knock on wood" came from?

I think I do, though it may be apocryphal.
Click to expand...


My memory says something about Spirits which live in trees are called for good luck by knocking on wood.
I shall now google it.

In reality we knock on wood for the same reason we throw salt over our shoulder , superstition.:D
 
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I heard it was if you were being pursued by authorities, you could seek asylum/refuge in a church.

And that if you could make it to the front door and knock, you were safe.

Maybe yes, maybe no.

Now, how about the origin of the word "sabotage"?
 
gkainz said:
"Do the needful." I hear it all too often ... not a misuse of slang, but it's beginning to grate on my nerves.
Click to expand...



baboss said:
+1000
That and "please revert for any clarification"
Click to expand...


That one hasn't made it into anyone I'm surrounded by. What is it? Sounds dumb.

FastEddieB said:
Now, how about the origin of the word "sabotage"?
Click to expand...


Interesting. I'm guessing it's not the firearm term for something allowing you to fire a projectile smaller than the bore, so did the Dutch like to sneak up on people and beat them with wooden shoes? ;)
 
aussie slang is just as bad for americans

Are you going to the store with us?
Yeah, I just need to put on my thongs (flip flops).
My daughters lost it over that one more than once after we moved.
 
Last year we hosted a businessman from Japan here to better learn American customs. With some new friends he made a weekend trip to Las Vegas. While we scrolled through his Face Book page to view his pictures I noticed he had captioned one to say he was 'streetwalking in Las Vegas'. It was priceless to see how red his face got when I explained the phrase has other meaning.
 
In the U.K. if you need something to remove pencil marks from paper, you would go to the young lady in charge of office supplies and ask for a rubber.

As it turns out, that doesn't go over well in the U.S.

But I will refrain from commenting on the thing that tourists wear around their waists that has a zippered compartment for carrying odds and ends other than to say don't us the U.S. term for it in the U.K.
 
Capt. Geoffrey Thorpe said:
But I will refrain from commenting on the thing that tourists wear around their waists that has a zippered compartment for carrying odds and ends other than to say don't us the U.S. term for it in the U.K.
Click to expand...

What do the Brits have against fanny packs???
 
Capt. Geoffrey Thorpe said:
In the U.K. if you need something to remove pencil marks from paper, you would go to the young lady in charge of office supplies and ask for a rubber.

As it turns out, that doesn't go over well in the U.S.

But I will refrain from commenting on the thing that tourists wear around their waists that has a zippered compartment for carrying odds and ends other than to say don't us the U.S. term for it in the U.K.
Click to expand...

A former employer had the bad sense to name an offshore drilling rig "Pratt Rather" and then send the rig to work in U.K. waters....ended up spending the money to re-name the rig "Rather". Of course none of the rig drawings were renamed so we'd all get a chuckle every time we had to reference them.
 
We had people from our UK office that gave us a hard time about the hotel we put them in. Apparently in their part of the 'hood "Hampton Inn" is a phrase that's equivalent to "No-tell Motel" in the US.
 
Thanks for this! I needed a good laugh.
 
There was some (Australian?) company that put out an ad that used the acronym "MILF" without being aware of its slang meaning. :rofl:
 
JHW said:
aussie slang is just as bad for americans

Are you going to the store with us?
Yeah, I just need to put on my thongs (flip flops).
My daughters lost it over that one more than once after we moved.
Click to expand...


Works both ways. Don't ask an Aussie which team he's rooting for. It means something rather different down that way.

We had a developer from the Netherlands. One day he asked me, "How are things in the woods of your neck?"
 
Long ago I had a student from England. Very interesting fellow to talk with. One day I saw him outside with a cigarette. He told me, "My old man would have a conniption if he saw me with a fag in me mouth."

He told me why cigarettes are called fags, but I don't think I can explain it on a family forum and keep it so kids can join in...

Maybe this will help. He told me that ladies with pretty legs are called bacons, because bacon sizzles on a hot grill, and ladies with hot legs sizzle, so therefore pretty legs are called bacons.
 
JHW said:
aussie slang is just as bad for americans

Are you going to the store with us?
Yeah, I just need to put on my thongs (flip flops).
My daughters lost it over that one more than once after we moved.
Click to expand...

She be right mate.
 
I got another Gem yesterday. I almost lost it on this one.

999958825054.jpg
 
roflmao!! Same guy or different one?

(don't click the provided link unless you want a novelty song stuck in your head all day)
 
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AggieMike88 said:
roflmao!! Same guy or different one?

(don't click the provided link unless you want a novelty song stuck in your head all day)
Click to expand...

Different. Female actually. She sits about 10 feet from me. I wrote a program that will allows me to find all references to tables, columns, etc in a database since nobody documents anymore. I showed it to her and she wanted to see the code but I was running late yesterday.

She sent that and it was everything I could do not to LOL
 
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