Making the traffic pattern safer (a satire)

Discussion in 'Hangar Talk' started by SixPapaCharlie, Aug 21, 2017.

  1. SixPapaCharlie

    SixPapaCharlie May the force be with you

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    Its short and cobbled together but I threw it together quickly whilst working in the hangar in the heat and getting stung by wasps and s**t.

    Enjoy. Or don't. I don't care. (the next two, I will care. This one... meh...)

     
  2. Anymouse

    Anymouse En-Route

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    Total Stud Bush Pilot
    I FINALLY get to watch one of these when they come out!!!
     
  3. Anymouse

    Anymouse En-Route

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    ...and where can I get one of those FAA approved X's??
     
  4. Anymouse

    Anymouse En-Route

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    Can I put one of those X's on the back of my car so no one will pass me on the road?
     
  5. Velocity173

    Velocity173 Final Approach

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    Got stung by a wasp for the first time last year. That sucker hurt. I put a penny on it to ease the pain...it didn't work.
     
  6. SixPapaCharlie

    SixPapaCharlie May the force be with you

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    No people in cars are stupid remember??

     
  7. SixPapaCharlie

    SixPapaCharlie May the force be with you

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    You have to buy them from me.
    But there is a background check and a 7 day waiting period.

    Is your medical current?
     
  8. asicer

    asicer Pattern Altitude

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    E-AB can use a non-TSO X, right?
     
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  9. Ravioli

    Ravioli En-Route

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    Sort of... but the plane cannot have any Souls on Board until Phase 1 testing is complete.
     
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  10. RalphInCA

    RalphInCA Cleared for Takeoff

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    I stupidly purchased one of those from one of your competitors and when it arrived, it was a "+" not an "X".

    I'll make sure to buy from you next time.
     
  11. SixPapaCharlie

    SixPapaCharlie May the force be with you

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    HAHAHAH!!!
    I'm mad you thought of that and I didn't!

    That's funny.
     
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  12. Clark1961

    Clark1961 Touchdown! Greaser!

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    Where's the link to buy these? Do you have a illuminated option for use during an eclipse? Is there a warranty? What kind of legal monitoring/protection plan is available to ensure no one places their X on top of my X?
     
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  13. Sac Arrow

    Sac Arrow Touchdown! Greaser!

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    Why does @SixPapaCharlie have to label satires that are not satires? It looked perfectly reasonable to me.
     
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  14. SixPapaCharlie

    SixPapaCharlie May the force be with you

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    feel bad about that too. I have a totally legit item to get to the pilots for their safety but I have to label it "Satire" for searchability.
    The good news is I found a great URL where I can pedal my up and coming products.

    Can't believe it wasn't taken...

    http://worldsgreatestpilot.com/
     
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  15. dmspilot

    dmspilot En-Route

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    What do you do if you want to land at a different airport than the one you took off from?
     
  16. SixPapaCharlie

    SixPapaCharlie May the force be with you

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    Squawk 7500
     
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  17. Anymouse

    Anymouse En-Route

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    Perhaps if it was put on the car, the plane wouldn't have landed on it.

    What medical?
     
  18. StevieTimes

    StevieTimes Line Up and Wait

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    Does it have a bluetooth hookup?
     
  19. AggieMike88

    AggieMike88 Touchdown! Greaser!

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    Now offering reverse discounts.
    If medical not current, you still have some of those pass your medical kits for sale, right?
     
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  20. Ravioli

    Ravioli En-Route

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    Is the app version available for Android, or just iOS?
     
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  21. Clark1961

    Clark1961 Touchdown! Greaser!

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    There is a new word for that: trending. No, no one knows what the phrase or the word really means.
     
  22. FlySince9

    FlySince9 Pattern Altitude

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    It is not Fool Proof, Bry... And since it is Fools you are trying to avoid...Your Proprietary Product ain't worth diddly!

    https://www.avweb.com/avwebflash/ne...ed_runway_texas_faa_investigate_203537-1.html

    Excerpt: "The FAA has confirmed it is investigating the Oct 21 incident in which (Senator) Inhofe landed a Cessna 340 on an occupied closed runway at Port Isabel-Cameron County Airport, Texas, He was reportedly carrying three others in the light twin when he made the landing on a runway bearing oversized painted Xs,"
     
  23. Clark1961

    Clark1961 Touchdown! Greaser!

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    This type of negativity is inappropriate behavior for America's aviation front porch. Please keep in mind at all times that sensitive, creative individuals such as Briany require support and encouragement rather than these uncalled for negative claims based on isolated incidents instigated by congresscritters. It is widely known and accepted that congresscritters lack any practical sense much less ability to follow rules and regulations.
     
  24. flhrci

    flhrci En-Route

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    One would hope there would be a service like "Uber X" to take an X to the airport of intended landing while you are en route.
     
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  25. FlySince9

    FlySince9 Pattern Altitude

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    I'm sorry... I forgot...:rolleyes:... Sorry Bryan... hope I didn't scar you're deep artistic Soul...:p
     
  26. Ravioli

    Ravioli En-Route

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    ^^^ that was some funny **** right there! Like Uber-funny.
     
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  27. SixPapaCharlie

    SixPapaCharlie May the force be with you

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    It hurts my feelings when you call me sensitive.
     
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  28. Clark1961

    Clark1961 Touchdown! Greaser!

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    I didn't call you sensitive. I called you sensitive, creative. Keep it in context ya big dummy.
     
  29. vontresc

    vontresc En-Route

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    Get a room, you two...
     
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  30. avongil

    avongil Pre-takeoff checklist

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    I think your marketing is off.

    You can't just spew out high tech specifications and expect the layman to understand why its technically superior. You must make them feel good, like they are getting a deal. Set the price to 2,200. Round numbers hit hard. Ok, how for a limited time, you can get yours for only $999.73 Odd funky numbers give that warm and fuzzy feeling.
     
  31. flhrci

    flhrci En-Route

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    Compliment gone bad?
     
  32. roncachamp

    roncachamp Final Approach

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    "We didn't pull out in front of an airplane!"
     
  33. frfly172

    frfly172 Touchdown! Greaser!

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    Do you have a bulk discount rate?
     
  34. Clark1961

    Clark1961 Touchdown! Greaser!

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    Observation, not compliment. Sensitive, creatives are a pain in the ass.
     
  35. Ravioli

    Ravioli En-Route

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    I didn't CALL you a @#$%^, I only said you sounded like one.

    [Says the guy who doesn't like name calling]
     
  36. Bill Jennings

    Bill Jennings Final Approach

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    Xcellent video!
     
  37. wrbix

    wrbix Cleared for Takeoff

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    Triple click on iOS
     
  38. ETres

    ETres Pre-takeoff checklist

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    Our airport manager wants to know if he can order an "SE" along with the "X." He says fuel sales are OK, but condom sales are lagging.
     
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  39. deonb

    deonb Pattern Altitude

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    No need for fancy new letters for that. Just get a three-pack of X's.
     
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  40. SCCutler

    SCCutler Administrator Management Council Member

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    I am simply stunned that @jesse does not own that domain!

    Good grab, Bryan.