Lets make Friday 'Joke Day'!

Discussion in 'Hangar Talk' started by Let'sgoflying!, Feb 9, 2007.

  1. Hawker800

    Hawker800 Line Up and Wait

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2013
    Messages:
    524
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Daniel
  2. Hawker800

    Hawker800 Line Up and Wait

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2013
    Messages:
    524
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Daniel
  3. Anymouse

    Anymouse Pattern Altitude PoA Supporter

    Joined:
    Jul 30, 2007
    Messages:
    2,353
    Location:
    Clinton, AR (Sometimes)
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Total Stud Bush Pilot
    Three pilots died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

    'In honor of this holy season' Saint Peter said, 'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.'

    The airline pilot fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter...

    He flicked it on. 'It's a candle', he said.

    'It did make light; you may pass through the pearly gates' Saint Peter said.

    The military pilot reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, 'They're bells.'

    Saint Peter said, 'they had a ring to them, you may pass through the pearly gates'.

    The contractor pilot started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties...

    St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, 'And just what do those symbolize?'

    He replied, 'These are Carols.'

    And So The Christmas Season Begins.
     
  4. mscard88

    mscard88 Touchdown! Greaser!

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2015
    Messages:
    16,907
    Location:
    Alabama
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Mark
  5. mscard88

    mscard88 Touchdown! Greaser!

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2015
    Messages:
    16,907
    Location:
    Alabama
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Mark
  6. JOhnH

    JOhnH Touchdown! Greaser!

    Joined:
    May 20, 2009
    Messages:
    10,074
    Location:
    Florida
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Spun Out
    That took me a while. Only after staring at it till my eyes crossed did I see it.
     
    denverpilot likes this.
  7. Zeldman

    Zeldman Final Approach

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2014
    Messages:
    7,177
    Location:
    NM or AK
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Billy
  8. mscard88

    mscard88 Touchdown! Greaser!

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2015
    Messages:
    16,907
    Location:
    Alabama
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Mark
    That crap GM put out in the 80-90s who knows
     
  9. Norman

    Norman En-Route

    Joined:
    May 3, 2013
    Messages:
    4,735
    Location:
    cone of confusion
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    KPTK
    Mark,

    I haven't seen an engine other than true race cars with a race cam since the sixties. Seems to me somewhere along the line EPA said they were a no-no.
     
    mscard88 likes this.
  10. Zeldman

    Zeldman Final Approach

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2014
    Messages:
    7,177
    Location:
    NM or AK
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Billy
    I have been in and around racing for many years and it seems every now and then some kid will come up to me and tell me how he put a 3/4 race cam in his grandmas 1975 Ford town and country station wagon with the simulated wood grain paneling and now it does wheelies on the interstate...
     
    Norman likes this.
  11. Zeldman

    Zeldman Final Approach

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2014
    Messages:
    7,177
    Location:
    NM or AK
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Billy
    Just think how the girls would go for a guy driving this car....:thumbsup:

    [​IMG]
     
    Let'sgoflying! likes this.
  12. mscard88

    mscard88 Touchdown! Greaser!

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2015
    Messages:
    16,907
    Location:
    Alabama
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Mark
    Those basturds! :mad:
     
  13. denverpilot

    denverpilot Taxi to Parking

    Joined:
    Nov 8, 2009
    Messages:
    42,667
    Location:
    Denver, CO
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    DenverPilot
    That Camaro hiding behind it would bring a pretty penny today in that condition.
     
  14. mscard88

    mscard88 Touchdown! Greaser!

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2015
    Messages:
    16,907
    Location:
    Alabama
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Mark
    Think you meant Chevelle?
     
  15. denverpilot

    denverpilot Taxi to Parking

    Joined:
    Nov 8, 2009
    Messages:
    42,667
    Location:
    Denver, CO
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    DenverPilot
    Yup. Oops. Stepdad used to have both when I was a kid. Both SS models. Hardtop on the Chevelle, convertible “pace car edition” on the Camaro. Both really fast. And fun.
     
    mscard88 likes this.
  16. mscard88

    mscard88 Touchdown! Greaser!

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2015
    Messages:
    16,907
    Location:
    Alabama
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Mark
  17. mscard88

    mscard88 Touchdown! Greaser!

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2015
    Messages:
    16,907
    Location:
    Alabama
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Mark
  18. mscard88

    mscard88 Touchdown! Greaser!

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2015
    Messages:
    16,907
    Location:
    Alabama
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Mark
    Itsthatt7.gif
     
    deonb likes this.
  19. Zeldman

    Zeldman Final Approach

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2014
    Messages:
    7,177
    Location:
    NM or AK
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Billy
    I picked up on the Chevelle pretty quick.

    Unfortunately for classic Chevelle owners, the price has dropped over the last few years. My favorite is the '69 SS Chevelle convertible, white with a blue stripe, 4 speed. The true SS cars used to sell in the 80K range, but now can be bought in the 30-35K range. The prices of the 60s and 70s muscle cars are dropping as that generation is getting older.

    This is what I am looking to be my next and possible final project. All steel, no glass. 396-427 with the 3 deuce carburetor. I still have lots of old big block stuff in storage.
    [​IMG]
     
    denverpilot and mscard88 like this.
  20. mscard88

    mscard88 Touchdown! Greaser!

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2015
    Messages:
    16,907
    Location:
    Alabama
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Mark
    Had a friend that bought a Chevrolet like that except it was blue w/ white stripes, white convertible top. Might have been a '70 model. Think it had a 396. I almost bought a used '69 Vette w/ a427/435hp in '73. Beautiful car, and fasttttttt.
     
  21. Zeldman

    Zeldman Final Approach

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2014
    Messages:
    7,177
    Location:
    NM or AK
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Billy
    Scary fast. When running that engine on a dynometer, the head person at GM said stop when it hit 435 HP due to insurance restrictions. No one knows what the real HP was.
     
  22. mscard88

    mscard88 Touchdown! Greaser!

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2015
    Messages:
    16,907
    Location:
    Alabama
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Mark
    Yeah I was in my early 20s, that car would have taken me out.
     
  23. 1RTK1

    1RTK1 Pre-takeoff checklist

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2014
    Messages:
    373
    Location:
    Central Left Coast
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Ralph
    Fastest 0-60 vehicle I've ever owned was a shifter kart, if memory serves about 3 seconds give or take
     
    G-Man likes this.
  24. Norman

    Norman En-Route

    Joined:
    May 3, 2013
    Messages:
    4,735
    Location:
    cone of confusion
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    KPTK
    Mark,

    In my school years I didn't dare wear a yellow shirt. I was so skinny others would think I was a pencil. :D
     
    mscard88 likes this.
  25. AggieMike88

    AggieMike88 Touchdown! Greaser! PoA Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 13, 2010
    Messages:
    13,282
    Location:
    Denton, TX
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Now offering reverse discounts.
    My dad has a 1934 Ford 5-window coupe that he has owned longer than he has had me. 350 tune Port, Auto trans, 90% original steel, rumble seat, and a few modern upgrades such as air conditioning.
     
    denverpilot likes this.
  26. Zeldman

    Zeldman Final Approach

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2014
    Messages:
    7,177
    Location:
    NM or AK
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Billy
    In Texas A/C is not an upgrade, it's a necessity.....:yesnod:

    I am guessing it's not for sale.... Got any pictures..??
     
  27. AggieMike88

    AggieMike88 Touchdown! Greaser! PoA Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 13, 2010
    Messages:
    13,282
    Location:
    Denton, TX
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Now offering reverse discounts.
    Be a long time before it’s for sale. I’ll find some photos.
     
  28. mscard88

    mscard88 Touchdown! Greaser!

    Joined:
    Oct 1, 2015
    Messages:
    16,907
    Location:
    Alabama
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Mark
  29. Zeldman

    Zeldman Final Approach

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2014
    Messages:
    7,177
    Location:
    NM or AK
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Billy
    Nice cars, but all daily drivers, like what my mom would drive. I am going old school, pure raw horsepower, something I work on all week just to drive on Friday night, something that will shake the windows when I idle through Sonic and set off car alarms.
     
    mscard88 and denverpilot like this.
  30. denverpilot

    denverpilot Taxi to Parking

    Joined:
    Nov 8, 2009
    Messages:
    42,667
    Location:
    Denver, CO
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    DenverPilot
    Heck that’s easy. You can borrow my Dodge Cummins. Don’t even need to do any work on it. It just has a four inch pipe from front to rear and some lame stock style muffler shoved in the middle of it. Haha.

    Have to shut it off in the drive thru or they can’t hear to take the order. That is if the fat ass dually can even fit through the drive thru lane. Hahaha. :)
     
  31. Zeldman

    Zeldman Final Approach

    Joined:
    Jun 13, 2014
    Messages:
    7,177
    Location:
    NM or AK
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Billy
    I have a turbo back 4 inch exhaust on my Duramax. I have to shut it off at the bank or the lanes on both sides of me can't hear the teller. I do have a muffler on it, a 24 inch long Cherry Bomb glass pack.

    I did put a turn down on the end of the exhaust so I don't blow exhaust in the open windows of cars on my right side......:eek:
     
    denverpilot likes this.
  32. denverpilot

    denverpilot Taxi to Parking

    Joined:
    Nov 8, 2009
    Messages:
    42,667
    Location:
    Denver, CO
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    DenverPilot
    Hahaha. Mine has no turn down, but I didn’t put it on and I’m certainly not going to spend money on that. LOL.

    Since it’s a manual trans, it puffs at each shift since the turbo unspools a bit at each one. Not much I can do about it. It’s not set up to be a stupid “coal roller” or anything like that, but it’s going to have too much fuel at each shift if you’re getting on it.

    I’ve gotten pretty good at feathering the throttle back up and watching my turbo gauge so it doesn’t do it obnoxiously bad. Kinda have to do a progressive foot feed to about 4-5 PSI then you can romp on it. The turbo has been upgraded from stock and it has some lag.

    Now I want to go drive it, darn you. LOL. And that thing is a disaster in snow. Haha. Ass end is completely squirrelly with all that torque of course. Duallies... yay.

    But it’ll probably stay parked this week. I need to rebuild the starter. Parts are here but garage is cold.

    I have to change Karen’s left front ABS sensor first. It freaks out on the washboard road. Got that troubleshooting nailed down finally.
     
    Zeldman likes this.
  33. G-Man

    G-Man Line Up and Wait PoA Supporter

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2012
    Messages:
    594
    Location:
    Boulder, CO
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    AirmanG
    Right on! Doesn't help being a half-inch off the ground.

    I used to feel like my shifter kart went 0-60mph "faster than I could change my mind!"
     
  34. Capt. Geoffrey Thorpe

    Capt. Geoffrey Thorpe Final Approach PoA Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2008
    Messages:
    9,621
    Location:
    DXO124009
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Light and Sporty Guy
    Why don't farts graduate from high school?
    They always end up getting expelled.

    What is it called when the Queen of England farts?
    Noble gas

    Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it's probably ****

    Why don't little girls fart?
    Because they don't have *******s until they are married.

    What do you call a cat that likes to eat beans?
    Puss n Toots

    Why do cherry trees stink?
    Because George Washington cut one.

    What does Trump do when he farts?
    Blames Hillary

    A boy comes home and says to his parents: "The teacher asked a question today and I was the only one in the class who knew the answer!"
    The parents replied "That's amazing! What was the question?"
    "Who farted?"

    An elderly couple is sitting in church - the wife leans over and whispers, "I just let out a silent fart. What should I do now?". Her husband answers, "Change the battery in your hearing aid."

    Pickup lines:

    Did you fart? 'cuz you blew me away.

    Mind if I hang out here with you until it's safe back where I farted?

    Hey, someone farted, why don't we get out of here.

    (Just trying to get back on topic, eh?)
     
  35. ElPaso Pilot

    ElPaso Pilot Cleared for Takeoff

    Joined:
    May 26, 2006
    Messages:
    1,199
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    ElPaso Pilot
  36. ElPaso Pilot

    ElPaso Pilot Cleared for Takeoff

    Joined:
    May 26, 2006
    Messages:
    1,199
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    ElPaso Pilot
  37. ElPaso Pilot

    ElPaso Pilot Cleared for Takeoff

    Joined:
    May 26, 2006
    Messages:
    1,199
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    ElPaso Pilot
  38. ElPaso Pilot

    ElPaso Pilot Cleared for Takeoff

    Joined:
    May 26, 2006
    Messages:
    1,199
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    ElPaso Pilot
  39. ElPaso Pilot

    ElPaso Pilot Cleared for Takeoff

    Joined:
    May 26, 2006
    Messages:
    1,199
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    ElPaso Pilot
    “That’s one hell of an expensive snowplow”

    [​IMG]
     
  40. 1RTK1

    1RTK1 Pre-takeoff checklist

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2014
    Messages:
    373
    Location:
    Central Left Coast
    Display Name:

    Display name:
    Ralph
    While on a road trip an elderly couple stopped at a roadside
    restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal they left the
    restaurant and resumed their trip.
    When leaving the elderly
    woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table and she
    didn't
    miss them until they had been driving for about forty
    minutes.


    By then to add to the aggravation they had to travel quite a
    distance before they could
    find a place to turnaround
    in order to return to the restaurant to retrieve her glasses. All
    the way back the elderly husband became the classic grumpy
    old man.
    He fussed and complained and scolded his wife
    relentlessly during the entire return drive. The more he
    chided her the more agitated he became. He just wouldn't let
    up for a single minute.


    To her relief they finally arrived at the restaurant. As the
    woman got out of the car and hurried inside to retrieve her
    glasses the old geezer yelled to her While you're in there
    you might as well get my hat and the credit card.
     
    denverpilot likes this.