Lets make Friday 'Joke Day'!

So what does the handle on the women’s restroom look like?

 

Claude The Hypnotist was invited to perform at the senior center at the Wednesday luncheon.

Claude told the seniors that he would hypnotize them and proceeded to pull a pocket watch on a jeweled chain out of his pocket. Claude swayed the watch in front of the crowd, saying, " Keep your eyes on my watch. You are getting sleepy. You are getting sleepy. " Just then, the chain broke, dropping the watch to the floor.

"Crap!", Claude exclaimed.

It took two days to clean up the senior center, and Claude was never invited back.

 

Is that supposed to be an ankh?

 

A farmer drove over to his neighbors farmhouse and knocked at the door. A boy about 9 years old answered.

"Is your dad home?" Asked the farmer. "No," replied the boy. " He and my mom went into town." "Well, is your brother, Howard, home?" Asked the farmer. "No," replied the boy. "Howard went with them." "But if you need to borrow tools or something, I know where he keeps them, and you can just leave him a note." Said the boy.

" No, " replied the farmer. " I need to talk with your father about Howard getting my daughter, Susie, pregnant."

"Well, you'll need to talk to my dad about that." Said the boy. " I know he gets $500 for bulls and $50 for pigs, but I honestly don't know what he gets for Howard."

 

I must be missing something.

 

They're being Rick-rolled. If you turn it sideways, it's a distorted picture of Rick Astley.

 

It's hard to turn a computer monitor sideways!

 

It's easy to do it in software, for systems that support it.

 

Huh. I'd guessed Anakin Skywalker, shortly before he became Darth Vader.

 

Nah. It’s easy…

 

lol haha

 

oh godd this is bad

 

haaha this one is funny bro

 

omgosh ahha lol this one

 

hahah damn i like this one

 

I'm glad your having fun, and I am enjoying re-reading some of these,
but there are over 13,000 jokes in this thread. I hope you aren't going to comment on all of them!

And welcome to POA.

 

I document them as PEBCAK errors.

 

What does that stand for?

 

Problem
Exists
Between
Chair
And
Keyboard

 

Also known as a "short circuit between the headphones."

 

HSM. Headset Separator Malfunction

 

My doctor wants me to take dihydrogen monoxide daily.

Is that FAA approved.??

 

Health first, flying later. You won't be able to fly if you die.

 

Depends ... is that ground, tap, or bottle? Are enhancers allowed for taste?

 

Requires an SI plus random testing at least twice monthly with HMIS AME oversight.

 

Given that it's the major component of chemtrails, I would have expected that approving pilots with exposure to it would be more streamlined.

 

@Half Fast, you are typing too fast! Or am I still out to lunch here?

-Skip