I'm going to explain the flag thing just once for whatever good it does. I don't wave or display it btw, but I know people who do and it is very clear to me by comments from northerners/city folks opposed to it that they have absolutely no understanding of why it's usually flown. As I said I have no dog in this hunt, I don't care much either way beyond a general distaste for censorship, but....
I grew up in rural IL and have lived in or near rural communities almost all my life. I always heard the flag called the "rebel" flag and that's pretty much what it means to I'd bet 90% or more of the guys flying it. "Hey, look at me, I'm a good 'ol country rebel and I'm thumbing my nose at authority." Not racism, not pining for the return of the confederacy, just a symbol of a rebellion. Now, park all your history lessons, counter-arguments, etc for a moment and understand this- you're asking someone declaring themselves loudly to be a rebel to take down their symbol. They're only going to see that as further reason why it needs to stay up.
Now, southerners have some additional connections to it. "Heritage" basically. I'm not a southerner but I think I understand. If you want to understand listen to this song, it's one of my favorites and I think it pretty well explains how a lot of these southerners feel.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1vCYdYSxjNg