Intestinal emergencies

ive heard stories of airline pilots having to sh*t in their jepp bags when they couldnt leave the cockpit. I guess you could just hop in the back, use your flight bag. Perfect excuse to get that new bag you always wanted.
 
guardrail said:
My son had the stomach flu this past week and managed to puke all over my car, however, after taking him to the ER I learned about these. I will be ordering a set for the plane and car. They are expanable, easy to seal and are relatively cheap. Cheap insurance I think.
Click to expand...

I don't know what those cost, but anything labeled 'medical supplies' probably has a needless 300% markup, for starters on over-the-counter stuff.

After my kids outgrew diapers, I still had a full box of diaper disposal bags, similar color blue, and have deodorant. I've since kept them the my flight bag, and stuffed a few in the plane glove box. I got complacent and didn't load up my car when I switched in late 2013... paid that price last month. :(
 
Old Geek said:
You guys should go over to the pprune forums and read about flying in Africa. Never saw so many stories of grown men ****ting their pants.
Click to expand...

The absolute worst case of diarrhea that I ever had was accompanied by severe stomach cramps and the sweats. This was in Algiers when I was working line maintenance for an airline doing charter flights during the hajj. Worst experience of my life.
 
You haven't had real fun until you're in the ER on a Friday night with an intestinal infection from antibiotics from oral surgery (four surgically removed wisdom teeth and you woke up in the middle of the doctor taking a hammer and chisel to the right rear lower one, and the nurse asking if it looked like "he's waking up").

Two weeks of never being more than three big steps from a toilet.

And got a dry socket out of the deal, to boot.

Jaw aching, face swollen, ass leaking. It's a lovely way to spend a couple of weeks and lose a whole lot of weight at the same time.

Thankfully I was in my 20s and healed up from all of it relatively fast. That happens at my current age, it'd take a month and I'd probably need IV fluids and food to survive it.
 
I try to avoid eating greasy, spicy or heavy foods on the day of the flight. That prevents a lot of potential issues. A light snack or meal works well to mitigate such potential disasters.
 
SkyDog58 said:
The absolute worst case of diarrhea that I ever had was accompanied by severe stomach cramps and the sweats. This was in Algiers when I was working line maintenance for an airline doing charter flights during the hajj. Worst experience of my life.
Click to expand...

After four bouts of Salmonella poisoning and two hits of E-Coli I have learned when to fly and when to not!

Thank you Foster Farms...
 
DJTorrente said:
I don't know what those cost, but anything labeled 'medical supplies' probably has a needless 300% markup, for starters on over-the-counter stuff.

After my kids outgrew diapers, I still had a full box of diaper disposal bags, similar color blue, and have deodorant. I've since kept them the my flight bag, and stuffed a few in the plane glove box. I got complacent and didn't load up my car when I switched in late 2013... paid that price last month. :(
Click to expand...


Amazon has them in packs of 10 for around $20. Hardly expensive insurance!
 
I had a very similar experience on a trip from Montana to Ohio. I got the 'uh oh, I think I need a bathroom, right now!!' warning at 15,000 ft. There was an airport 3 miles behind us and I got good practice for a VNE spiral dive and spent a few unplanned hours at a lovely FBO somewhere in South Dakota before she was well enough to continue the journey...
 
I had the trifecta go down on my boat within 10 minutes of leaving the inlet.

The boat is an express with a small cuddy cabin. I got the "uh oh, gotta go now" from one of my passengers. No one (not her or her family who accompanied her) bothered to mention that she gets terrible motion sickness. So out comes the 5 gal bucket and TP. After about 1 minute of being down below, she leaps out of the cabin, and starts hurling over/on the side of the boat, while peeing on the deck. Thank god for the washdown hose.
 
MikeELP said:
And then Sporty's will buy them in bulk and re-package them and market the product as "Aviator Relief Undergarments" at a price of 10 for $200!!

:D
Click to expand...

I may have to start doing, genious!!

dell30rb said:
I had the trifecta go down on my boat within 10 minutes of leaving the inlet.

The boat is an express with a small cuddy cabin. I got the "uh oh, gotta go now" from one of my passengers. No one (not her or her family who accompanied her) bothered to mention that she gets terrible motion sickness. So out comes the 5 gal bucket and TP. After about 1 minute of being down below, she leaps out of the cabin, and starts hurling over/on the side of the boat, while peeing on the deck. Thank god for the washdown hose.
Click to expand...

I've been there, stop and throw them overboard. It's the best cure for motion sickness and lets them flow without making a big mess.
 
I was on a small dive-boat that was anchored bow and stern with the stern upwind. (The wind shifted after divers were in the water, so they couldn't reposition.) They kept the engine idling to run some of the equipment, so we were breathing a fair amount of diesel exhaust while rocking and rolling in an uncoordinated manner.

By the time I realized that I wasn't well, I was too far gone to make the second dive, so I was stuck on the boat even longer, (so I thought). After a few minutes of this, someone kicked off the chain-reaction puke-fest, and there was no chance of breaking that chain.

I grabbed my fins and a bottle of water and abandoned ship via the stern. As soon as I was out of puke-range, I put on my fins and swam upwind to the next mooring buoy and tucked the line coming off of it under my arm. I still chummed the area a bit before I thought to unzip my wetsuit part way to get some cold water inside. Once I did that, all was well.

My wife came out to join me, and after a while, the dive-master dug out a spare line and an innertube-type float to string between the buoy and the boat so that even the sickest divers could be comfortable hanging out in the water at the upwind buoy. He even had the foresight to hang a game-bag full of water bottles from the float before he passed it to me to swim it out to the buoy.

The crew said that this happened once or twice before, but they thought they were safe that day, based on the time of day and the usual wind-pattern. If they anticipate this problem, they tie off bow-only and trail a floating line from the stern to help any divers who may be swept past the boat. They had never thought to use a second buoy as a refuge, but they said that much of the time, all of the buoys are in use anyway.

For any who might be familiar, This was one of the 10-12 person half-day boats out of Mission Bay, diving on the Yukon. At that time, it had been down for less than a year, so it didn't have as much interesting flora and fauna as it does now.
 
dell30rb said:
I had the trifecta go down on my boat within 10 minutes of leaving the inlet.

The boat is an express with a small cuddy cabin. I got the "uh oh, gotta go now" from one of my passengers. No one (not her or her family who accompanied her) bothered to mention that she gets terrible motion sickness. So out comes the 5 gal bucket and TP. After about 1 minute of being down below, she leaps out of the cabin, and starts hurling over/on the side of the boat, while peeing on the deck. Thank god for the washdown hose.
Click to expand...

:rofl: These stories are great, keep 'em coming!
 
Not an intestinal emergency, but a bladder one...

Once, within sight of our destination airport, I got to watch a passenger squat on the right front seat while she peed into a plastic bag that I (thank God) had in the back.

Lesson learned? I found out I can actually land an airplane while laughing my ass off.

Tim
 
Old Thread: Hello . There have been no replies in this thread for 365 days.
Content in this thread may no longer be relevant.
Perhaps it would be better to start a new thread instead.
Back
Top