I did a dangerous thing today but I had no choice

Aww Bryan, my grandson loves the Elf and it's antic. Of course I don't have Elfie here in my house or I'd be taking him for a boat ride, if you know what I mean.

 
You may not be the hero we want, but you are the hero we need.
 
But the elf came back the very next day,
The elf came back, we thought he was a goner
But the elf came back; it just couldn't stay away.


 
Elf on the Bravo shelf made me laugh out loud.
 
Thanks....I never knew the story of the elf....or that there even was an issue.o_O
 
We have something even more frightening. My husband's mother gave us a Santa head, just the head. It looks like he has been decapitated sitting up there on the mantle. Freaks me out.
 
Rushie said:
We have something even more frightening. My husband's mother gave us a Santa head, just the head. It looks like he has been decapitated sitting up there on the mantle. Freaks me out.
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Hang it upsidedown in the fireplace so it looks like Santa is coming down the chimney head first.
 
Sorry man, you're stuck with the elf until Santa gets outed.

I got so tired of making excuses as to why the elf didn't move on the nights we forgot. You just need to put a daily reminder on your phone.
 
Rushie said:
We have something even more frightening. My husband's mother gave us a Santa head, just the head. It looks like he has been decapitated sitting up there on the mantle. Freaks me out.
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OMG I gotta get one of these..!!!!!!

That is just too funny..!!!
 
Rushie said:
We have something even more frightening. My husband's mother gave us a Santa head, just the head. It looks like he has been decapitated sitting up there on the mantle. Freaks me out.
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Did you check the freezer?
 
Rushie said:
We have something even more frightening. My husband's mother gave us a Santa head, just the head. It looks like he has been decapitated sitting up there on the mantle. Freaks me out.
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Was she Italian?

 
SixPapaCharlie said:
And then start a fire and rid yourself of it for good.
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We went out to dinner last night, and my 5 year old was coloring with crayons on his kid’s menu, which had Santa halfway out the top of the chimney.
My son used orange and yellow for some reason, so I commented-“hey, it looks like someone decided to start a fire with Santa still in the chimney!”
Chock up another time where my wife gives me one of “those” looks...
 
Omalley1537 said:
We went out to dinner last night, and my 5 year old was coloring with crayons on his kid’s menu, which had Santa halfway out the top of the chimney.
My son used orange and yellow for some reason, so I commented-“hey, it looks like someone decided to start a fire with Santa still in the chimney!”
Chock up another time where my wife gives me one of “those” looks...
Click to expand...


When my son was 6, he was sitting in front of the fireplace one evening, deep in thought, while I was cooking dinner. My son is in the living room, I was in the kitchen, there was a rectangular opening in the wall over the stove between the two rooms, and we could see and talk to each other. The dialog went something like this (Son is staring at the fireplace during the whole conversation not looking at me)

Son: “So, Dad, what happens if there is a fire in the fireplace when Santa comes?”

Me: “Well, son, we make sure there isn’t a fire on Christmas eve.”

Son sits and thinks some more...

Son: “Sooo, Dad, but what if there is a fire in someone else’s fireplace? Doesn’t he get burned going down their chimney?”

Me:”Uhhh, well, I’m sure Santa has a way to handle that.” (Brilliant answer, right?)

Son sits and thinks...

Son: “Soooo, Dad, my friend has a house that doesn’t have a chimney, how does Santa leave him presents?”

Me (Getting a bit challenged creatively, I don’t want to outright lie to the boy): “Well, son, when I was your age, I lived in a house without a fireplace, and there were always toys from Santa then. Maybe he comes through the door.”

Son sits and thinks some more...

Son: “Soooooo, Dad. How does Santa fit through the chimney?”

Me (thinking to myself, now we’re back to the chimney, e-gads, how much longer is this line of questioning gonna last.): “Son, they say Santa is magic, maybe that is how he does all this stuff.” (Yeah! That’s the ticket! Magic that’ll end the discussion, right? Wrong)

Son: (And for the first time in the conversation, he turns and looks me right in the eye, and gets rid of the “So” introduction): “Dad.”

Me: “Yes son?”

Son: “Do you put the presents under the tree and say that they are from Santa?”

Me:”Do you really, really want to know?”

Son: “Yes, Dad, I do.”

Me: “That’s exactly what we do.”

Son (Turning back to look at the fireplace with an extremely satisfied expression on his face): “Thought so.”

I felt like a witness in court facing a hotshot attorney just lining up the questions and giving me plenty of rope with which to fashion my own noose... It was a relief when he finally dropped the ultimate question, so I could finally confess, that yes, yes, YES, Mr. Burr, I did it!

We had to caution him after that conversation to not reveal the secret to his friends, but it sure took the pressure off by dropping the whole Santa thing. The downside for him is that he no longer got any Santa presents; from then on, he waited to open presents with the rest of us.




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jimhorner said:
When my son was 6, he was sitting in front of the fireplace one evening, deep in thought, while I was cooking dinner. My son is in the living room, I was in the kitchen, there was a rectangular opening in the wall over the stove between the two rooms, and we could see and talk to each other. The dialog went something like this (Son is staring at the fireplace during the whole conversation not looking at me)

Son: “So, Dad, what happens if there is a fire in the fireplace when Santa comes?”

Me: “Well, son, we make sure there isn’t a fire on Christmas eve.”

Son sits and thinks some more...

Son: “Sooo, Dad, but what if there is a fire in someone else’s fireplace? Doesn’t he get burned going down their chimney?”

Me:”Uhhh, well, I’m sure Santa has a way to handle that.” (Brilliant answer, right?)

Son sits and thinks...

Son: “Soooo, Dad, my friend has a house that doesn’t have a chimney, how does Santa leave him presents?”

Me (Getting a bit challenged creatively, I don’t want to outright lie to the boy): “Well, son, when I was your age, I lived in a house without a fireplace, and there were always toys from Santa then. Maybe he comes through the door.”

Son sits and thinks some more...

Son: “Soooooo, Dad. How does Santa fit through the chimney?”

Me (thinking to myself, now we’re back to the chimney, e-gads, how much longer is this line of questioning gonna last.): “Son, they say Santa is magic, maybe that is how he does all this stuff.” (Yeah! That’s the ticket! Magic that’ll end the discussion, right? Wrong)

Son: (And for the first time in the conversation, he turns and looks me right in the eye, and gets rid of the “So” introduction): “Dad.”

Me: “Yes son?”

Son: “Do you put the presents under the tree and say that they are from Santa?”

Me:”Do you really, really want to know?”

Son: “Yes, Dad, I do.”

Me: “That’s exactly what we do.”

Son (Turning back to look at the fireplace with an extremely satisfied expression on his face): “Thought so.”

I felt like a witness in court facing a hotshot attorney just lining up the questions and giving me plenty of rope with which to fashion my own noose... It was a relief when he finally dropped the ultimate question, so I could finally confess, that yes, yes, YES, Mr. Burr, I did it!

We had to caution him after that conversation to not reveal the secret to his friends, but it sure took the pressure off by dropping the whole Santa thing. The downside for him is that he no longer got any Santa presents; from then on, he waited to open presents with the rest of us.




Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
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WTF, Are you saying there is no Santa? I think your full of it.
 
PaulS said:
WTF, Are you saying there is no Santa? I think your full of it.
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Well, it depends on what your definition of “is” is. If you define Santa as the person who left unwrapped, pre-assembled toys under the tree for my son to find on Christmas morn, then, yes, there is a Santa, and I see him every morning in the mirror when I am shaving. If you define Santa as some jolly old elf who actually flies in a sled behind flying reindeer (likely without even filing a flight plan!) delivering toys to good little boys and girls all over the world, then I refer you to the following article on Snopes.com related to the physics involved: https://www.snopes.com/holidays/christmas/santa/physics.asp

And you didn’t really finish your sentence. You were saying something about my “full of it”? I don’t think I have a “full of it”, but maybe you can elaborate?


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I can't believe you touched the elf. You're not supposed to touch the elf. Ever!
 
My grandson was watching.
Right up to the point where you threw the elf out of the plane.
Then he went screaming off.
I took the opportunity and got ours and shoved it out the back door.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
No more Elf on a shelf at my house.
 
Shepherd said:
My grandson was watching.
Right up to the point where you threw the elf out of the plane.
Then he went screaming off.
I took the opportunity and got ours and shoved it out the back door.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
No more Elf on a shelf at my house.
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OMG! You didn't! How'd grandson react? lol
 
jimhorner said:
Well, it depends on what your definition of “is” is. If you define Santa as the person who left unwrapped, pre-assembled toys under the tree for my son to find on Christmas morn, then, yes, there is a Santa, and I see him every morning in the mirror when I am shaving. If you define Santa as some jolly old elf who actually flies in a sled behind flying reindeer (likely without even filing a flight plan!) delivering toys to good little boys and girls all over the world, then I refer you to the following article on Snopes.com related to the physics involved: https://www.snopes.com/holidays/christmas/santa/physics.asp

And you didn’t really finish your sentence. You were saying something about my “full of it”? I don’t think I have a “full of it”, but maybe you can elaborate?


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Nah, I've said enough, except that Santa skips the houses of people who don't believe.;)
 
I have a barrel of hydrofluoric acid you can borrow if you need to make something disappear.
 
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