How to avoid someone?

EdFred said:
Bang her sister or mom. This solves two problems.

One, you get some.
Two, you've turned the tables and now she's wondering why her mom and sister are good enough for you and she's not.

If you don't want to go that route, just ignore her. Hang out with the group, but don't acknowledge a damn thing she says. If she asks you a question, or says something to you, simply turn to someone else, and take the conversation a completely different direction. Pretend she's not even there. Doing this goes three ways. You get booted from the group, which you are considering doing anyway. She leaves the group because she can't manipulate you anymore. Or like in the first scenario, you knock her self esteem down a few notches, and turn the tables and now she's interested in you because you aren't interested in her.
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David: Advice from the perpetually single (and proud of it) probably isn't the way you want to go... Just sayin'. Sorry Ed.
 
denverpilot said:
Do you want to wake up in a bed with a manipulative chick who has no interest in you 20 years from now when you're greying and fat? You ready to commit to that future?

Or do you want to wake up next to someone who actually likes you and doesn't screw with you?

Find a girl who's a true friend. Kick that one to the curb.
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A-freakin-men. David, I'm gonna tell you a story of two girls.

I had a girlfriend for three years starting my senior year of high school who was really manipulative. It's easy for them at that age - Like Robin Williams used to say, "God gave men a dick and a brain, and only enough blood to run one at a time."

I couldn't/wouldn't/didn't want to believe that she was anything other than perfect. I really should have listened to my friends and family, all of whom said that she was no good for me. But I was stupid and hung around until she finally dumped me. I was crushed, but after about 3 months of not having her around, I was completely over her and very happy to be out of that relationship!

Fast forward for... A long time, through many more relationships - Some short, some longer, some good, some bad, none that worked out in the end for various reasons. A bit over a year ago, I met another girl. After just a few dates, I felt like every other girlfriend I'd ever had, every trait bad and good of every one of them, had only existed to show me that this one was "the one."

It did start with both physical attractiveness (important at the start to bring you together, not so much after you know one another) as well as the fact that we met through an activity that we both enjoyed. We have enough in common to keep us close but we like enough different things to keep things interesting. She's a real sweetheart, smiles often, is fun, loves to fly with me, has a wonderful family, and brings out the best in me. She may not fit anyone else's definition of perfect, but she is most certainly perfect for me. We got engaged at the end of November and I couldn't be happier. :)

I didn't envision being 37 before meeting the right person, but now that I'm where I am, if I could go back in time, I wouldn't change a thing.

David, you're a good guy. You get along well with people and quickly earn their respect, you do have good looks whether you care to admit it to yourself or not, and you're a freakin' pilot! You are so much cooler than most 18-year-old guys are... If you're patient, you will find the right girl. This one is NOT the one, and she never will be - You just can't change people, and if she treats you like this now, it'll only get worse.

You might not hit a home run in your first at-bat, but you've got it in you. You just have to realize that if the pitcher keeps throwing the ball at you rather than over the plate, you've got to walk away.

Good luck!
 
flyingcheesehead said:
David: Advice from the perpetually single (and proud of it) probably isn't the way you want to go... Just sayin'. Sorry Ed.
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My advice was for when he's decided to move on, and not to win her over.
 
In case there was any doubt, one should never follow either part of EdFred's advice. Now if you legitimately want to date her sister/mom (the latter at your age probably not being a good idea or legal) then that's different. But otherwise, the first half won't do anything good for anybody.

The second part of the advice turns you into a species we call "Felix," which is an even worse outcome.
 
If her smile in the picture you posted is even close to her normal version, I think you won the lottery.

flyingcheesehead said:
both physical attractiveness (important at the start to bring you together, not so much after you know one another) as well as the fact that we met through an activity that we both enjoyed. We have enough in common to keep us close but we like enough different things to keep things interesting. She's a real sweetheart, smiles often, is fun, loves to fly with me, has a wonderful family, and brings out the best in me.
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Dave, let me give you some advice. I don't know you well or really at all for that matter. But I can tell you that if you wait to go to a university and go to CC now you'll likely miss out on some excellent friend making opportunities. At your age I loved my friends and when I went off to school I lost a lot of them, or at least the closenesss. But I gained friends who mean so much more to me. You don't get that same opportunity when you come into university as a junior.. Just warning you... I wouldn't recommend that plan unless you really need to for financial reasons. Colleges changes people, makes them grow, changes some priorities. Not to mention college gives you an opportunity to finally make some interesting decisions, and meet people who are more closely aligned with your goals in life. It's hard to see it now, but high school is just the end of one journey at the beginning of another.

This post has absolutely nothing to do with flying. I know you'll keep flying into college and forever. :)
 
I agree. The people who will be the movers and shakers for the rest of your life will in large part be those who attend the major U's in your state. The "who you know vs. what you know" doctrine could have been written for college contacts.

Z06_Mir said:
Dave, let me give you some advice. I don't know you well or really at all for that matter. But I can tell you that if you wait to go to a university and go to CC now you'll likely miss out on some excellent friend making opportunities. At your age I loved my friends and when I went off to school I lost a lot of them, or at least the closenesss. But I gained friends who mean so much more to me. You don't get that same opportunity when you come into university as a junior.. Just warning you... I wouldn't recommend that plan unless you really need to for financial reasons. Colleges changes people, makes them grow, changes some priorities. Not to mention college gives you an opportunity to finally make some interesting decisions, and meet people who are more closely aligned with your goals in life. It's hard to see it now, but high school is just the end of one journey at the beginning of another.

This post has absolutely nothing to do with flying. I know you'll keep flying into college and forever. :)
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EdFred said:
Bang her sister or mom. This solves two problems.

One, you get some.
Two, you've turned the tables and now she's wondering why her mom and sister are good enough for you and she's not.

If you don't want to go that route, just ignore her. Hang out with the group, but don't acknowledge a damn thing she says. If she asks you a question, or says something to you, simply turn to someone else, and take the conversation a completely different direction. Pretend she's not even there.
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My advice is not to play games. Like above. Be the better man. If she talks to you, answer her, but dont be a doormat.
 
Z06_Mir said:
Dave, let me give you some advice. I don't know you well or really at all for that matter. But I can tell you that if you wait to go to a university and go to CC now you'll likely miss out on some excellent friend making opportunities. At your age I loved my friends and when I went off to school I lost a lot of them, or at least the closenesss. But I gained friends who mean so much more to me. You don't get that same opportunity when you come into university as a junior.. Just warning you... I wouldn't recommend that plan unless you really need to for financial reasons. Colleges changes people, makes them grow, changes some priorities. Not to mention college gives you an opportunity to finally make some interesting decisions, and meet people who are more closely aligned with your goals in life. It's hard to see it now, but high school is just the end of one journey at the beginning of another.

This post has absolutely nothing to do with flying. I know you'll keep flying into college and forever. :)
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I think the last two years at a major university will be good for him, and the money he saves going the other route will pay for a lot of avgas. And the "extracurricular" activities he's already got going will make him interesting among his peers at University when he goes.
 
The college sanctioned extra activities are so friggin lame compared to what David does now. Only someone dim and straight from High School would be impressed with college activities.
 
It's not about the activities, it's about the contacts.

ClimbnSink said:
The college sanctioned extra activities are so friggin lame compared to what David does now. Only someone dim and straight from High School would be impressed with college activities.
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wabower said:
It's not about the activities, it's about the contacts.
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This. And frankly you make the most relationships your first year in college living in the dorms. You'll learn lots of social skills and life skills that community college won't teach you. I'm a huge advocate of universities if possible. I think that it would do Dave a world of good to get out into that environment.


And for those saying that he's basically too good for his peers.. I really don't agree with that. Yes, he's absolutely a smart, talented and overall great young man, but by putting him on a pedestal are you really doing him any favors socially?
 
TMetzinger said:
Hennings advice is probably more appropriate for folks in their late 20s or 30s or later. Laying the cards on the table is a good strategy for grownups who are past the stage of treating love as a game.
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The girl he is dealing with is in her 20s....and he is acting like a 14 year old.
 
Henning, you really have no choice. You must take the lad under your wing.

-Rich
 
wabower said:
I agree. The people who will be the movers and shakers for the rest of your life will in large part be those who attend the major U's in your state. The "who you know vs. what you know" doctrine could have been written for college contacts.
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I agree in part, but one would need to pick social circles very carefully. Majors taste U's also have lots and lots of losers who won't amount to much nor make it past the first two years.
 
Absolutely. So does the airport, the golf course, the military and Dave Ramsey. Part of growing up is learning to pick the winners.

jhausch said:
I agree in part, but one would need to pick social circles very carefully. Majors taste U's also have lots and lots of losers who won't amount to much nor make it past the first two years.
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I don't speak with a single person I went to college with on a regular (or irregular) basis since graduation, and I went to a school that's ranked #1 in its area of education expertise. All of them who graduated I believe went on to have good jobs. Technically one of them is now a co-worker, but haven't talked to her much as her desk is several miles from mine and we work in completely different areas.

I've done far better making my own contacts, and aviation has been part of that. I think the college contacts work for some, but it also seems that for it to matter you need to end up someplace in the Harvard/Princeton/Yale category. Although having been involved with a number of said folks in varying capacities, I can also attest that some are winners (like the CEO of Virgin Galactic, a family friend and Princeton grad) and some are losers (most notably any of the girls foolish enough to date me and vice versa), and nobody could have convinced me to go to any such school back when I was David's age or today.

Identifying and building a good circle of contacts is important, though, and there are lots of ways to do that.
 
Something I said could be easily taken out of context. David is no better or worse than his peers, he just doesn't need what some girl says to get under his skin. The guys I know who were the most successful with the ladies also managed to get their egos out of the equation. They were also quite handsome, which no doubt contributed to their success.

I met most of my best friends as an undergraduate at University. Without them my life would be far, far poorer. Personally, I think David is making a huge mistake attending a community college instead of University.
 
Frankly, I can't think of a single person from college or grad school with whom I'm still friendly. I still have friends from elementary and high school, from the service, from various jobs I've worked, various churches I've attended, and various organizations I've done volunteer work with; but none from college or grad school.

Not that I have any issues with any of the folk I went to college with, mind you. I just have no real contact with any of them beyond exchanging Christmas / Hanukkah cards and the occasional chance encounters.

-Rich
 
I'm still friends with three people from college, my two roomates and my CFI. I don't think I've seen or communicated with anyone else in decades.
 
Ok - serious post from Nick time - this rarely happens.

Henning's got it right.

Or You could play the game - find a way to put her down, take her down a notch, and play the jerk guy card. That gets you laid. It also gets you a girlfriend that will eventually leave you for someone else that gets to be a bigger jerk.

Why? Well, because by and large, most girls love to go with the "bad guy" and like to do the "wrong thing." I don't know why that is, but once I understood it, it was the surefire way to get laid.

HOWEVER - its not he surefire way to get a respectable woman that you want to keep. When I met Brianna, she was the first woman in which I did not play any of the stupid "be an jerk" games, and she was the first woman to not **** with my brain like other women do.

You know what....she's a keeper because she doesn't do the manipulation game that other women do. And she thinks I'm a keeper because to her, every other guy is a jerk. Win-win.

What does all this mean? Well, right off the bat, I'll tell you that the girl you desire is only going to become yours a night at a time, when you happen to play your cards right. You could go the jerk route, and get her anytime you want, and that's not a bad way to go, especially at your age. But she's not keeper material. She is, unfortunately, not the right girl for you. You don't have to try that hard for the "right one."

Some day, once you've either worn her out, or get tired of trying to, you'll meet someone else, and it'll just click.

So why do I agree with Henning? Because if you just talk to her about your feelings and get it out, you'll solidify yourself as "not good enough for her," and get it over with much quicker. Like pulling off a band aid, you'll be past her in no time. Note - Henning's advice won't get you laid, or even net you a girlfriend or a long term relationship. It will just get it over with.

Edit: as for the group scenario? You need to sort this out before you care about what happens with the group, otherwise you'll just be torturing yourself being around her and knowing you're not gonna have her. Once you either figure out how to bang her regularly on demand, or get her out of your head as a bang target completely, you're always gonna be awkward.
 
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DavidWhite said:
I feel quasimodo ugly sometimes, but in reality I'm a pretty average looking kid.

F00E6EAE-2429-46C8-B64A-87D0D581FEB3-5530-00000635F6DF2F73.jpg


(shameless bathroom mirror selfshot)
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I'd hit it.
 
SkyHog said:
Or You could play the game - find a way to put her down, take her down a notch, and play the jerk guy card. That gets you laid. It also gets you a girlfriend that will eventually leave you for someone else that gets to be a bigger jerk.

Why? Well, because by and large, most girls love to go with the "bad guy" and like to do the "wrong thing." I don't know why that is, but once I understood it, it was the surefire way to get laid.

HOWEVER - its not he surefire way to get a respectable woman that you want to keep. When I met Brianna, she was the first woman in which I did not play any of the stupid "be an jerk" games, and she was the first woman to not **** with my brain like other women do.

You know what....she's a keeper because she doesn't do the manipulation game that other women do. And she thinks I'm a keeper because to her, every other guy is a jerk. Win-win.
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What Nick said.

What you do really depends on whether getting laid is your goal or whether you're looking for "the one"... But now you should have a good idea what course of action you want to take.
 
flyingcheesehead said:
What Nick said.

What you do really depends on whether getting laid is your goal or whether you're looking for "the one"... But now you should have a good idea what course of action you want to take.
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At this stage in David's life, he needs to stay a card carrying member of the 4 F club....:yes:;) :yesnod:
 
flyingcheesehead said:
What Nick said.
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MANY men have tried to... (thinking of what word to use so as not to get in trouble with management, again) "F-ornicate" the crazy out of a woman.

Some have tried really, really, hard (I have a friend that still has back problems decades later):D.

All have failed.

If you go that route, just know, it won't change her.

Can you deal with that?

I never could.
 
I view all of the emotions that come along with my undying interest in women, sometimes way out of my league, as a reminder I'm still alive. That's always a good thing regardless of wether or not I get what i think I want.

Oscar Wilde is quoted as saying there are two great tragedies in life, not to have your hearts desire and to get your hearts desire.

If you buy into the underlying truth (as I do) It really tells us our strongest desire has very little to do with our happiness.

Good Luck.
 
The theory about becoming a jerk to get the girls may have some truth but is not without risk. The personality changes might become permanent and doom the individual to a life as a pilot or IT geek. :rofl:
 
wabower said:
The theory about becoming a jerk to get the girls may have some truth but is not without risk. The personality changes might become permanent and doom the individual to a life as a pilot or IT geek. :rofl:
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Or a finance guy. ;) heh.
 
Maybe this will help build his self-confidence so he can ignore Precious and move on. Might send him a well-worn G-V ball cap too, but then he'll have to decide whether to wait until he starts flying the Citation to wear it. :D

image.jpg

Alexb2000 said:
MANY men have tried to... (thinking of what word to use so as not to get in trouble with management, again) "F-ornicate" the crazy out of a woman.

Some have tried really, really, hard (I have a friend that still has back problems decades later):D.

All have failed.

If you go that route, just know, it won't change her.

Can you deal with that?

I never could.
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wabower said:
Maybe this will help build his self-confidence so he can ignore Precious and move on. Might send him a well-worn G-V ball cap too, but then he'll have to decide whether to wait until he starts flying the Citation to wear it. :D

View attachment 28465
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Wayne, I'm ugly and my wife doesn't love me anymore. The only cure will be G-V time. Can you help me? :goofy:
 
Dude, you're 18. Live your life, it's gonna be a great ride.
Best advice, like Thin Lizzie said way back in '75,

"That chick don't wanna know, forget her"
 
So, tonight my buddy Adam set me up on a blind date with some girl he met at Dave & Busters. Turns out, she looks like the chick from Castle, she's a model, and she wants to hang out again this weekend.

What was that other girls name again?
 
DavidWhite said:
So, tonight my buddy Adam set me up on a blind date with some girl he met at Dave & Busters. Turns out, she looks like the chick from Castle, she's a model, and she wants to hang out again this weekend.

What was that other girls name again?
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Her name was..................................




Yesterday......:yes::rolleyes:
 
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