How to avoid someone?

And next time you do a bathroom pic, clean the mirror... Girls who are worth keeping notice stuff like that...

Nothing wrong with ACC and it feeds well into the UT pipeline. I may talk a lot of crap about UT since I'm a diehard aggie fan, but I have one degree from the UT system and working on another. Its a good system. When I first started college I was co-enrolled.. full load at one university and taking EMT stuff at the community college..

The EMT stuff ended up paying for the rest of my schooling and I ended up with a degree with no loans hanging over my head. Tuition was quite a bit less back then though...
 
That was a picture for PoA, not facebook. I'm actually a big Aggie fan too - both my parents are aggies.
 
This doesn't really apply (the advice here is actually worth listening to), but I could not help thinking of this quote...
http://www.hark.com/clips/bzyxtnkjlr-gas-and-sip

David, it's funny isn't it? You learned to fly an airplane through the combination of instruction and experience. However, when it comes to women, we tend to ignore instruction and only trust experience. I can tell you from being there (and being a lot worse looking than you), listen to the instruction these folks are giving you.


-Jim
 
She is using you as a beta orbiter. You can buy her stuff, do her homework, walk her dog, and help her move all you will ever be is a source of resources either $ or as an emotional tampon. Almost impossible to move into the love slot from where you are. But don't despair call her on her behavior she will bewicked uncomfortable and you get a laugh. You cantbe bitter, never ever, but yeah make a blatant move then constantly call her out on herbehavior in a non bitter, teasing way. Chicks hate being callled out for bad behavior but it is your duty as a man to do so.
 
David, I was all ready to roll out a bucket of carefully-prepared advice, but it appears that everything I ever needed to know emanates from rural Oklahoma ... Which is to say, "What Wayne said.". He's pretty smart for an old fart!

---

If she is a part of a social group you value otherwise, then don't allow her ambivalence (or gaming, matters not which) to drive you from the others. Participate, be always the gentleman you are and allow her to seek her own path. If it should include you, it will, if it should not, it shall not, but you sure can't force it.

And for G_d's sake, never publish a photo like that again. If you need embarrassing, I have a sombrero picture we can roll right out... :D
 
DavidWhite said:
I feel quasimodo ugly sometimes, but in reality I'm a pretty average looking kid.

F00E6EAE-2429-46C8-B64A-87D0D581FEB3-5530-00000635F6DF2F73.jpg


(shameless bathroom mirror selfshot)
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Dude, you have a white iPhone, no wonder she won't date you, she knows something you don't yet... you're gay!:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:
 
Wait, I'm confused. What is it that you like about her? And if you don't like her, why does her opinion about you matter?
 
bbchien said:
David, she's mercenary because with you, she knows she can be. Many many moons ago the first love of my life made me think I was messed up. 35 years later, and still being on the "starter" wife, she is on spouse #4. Now who's messed up here?
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:thumbsup:

History has a kool way of validating reality....:yes:
 
Henning said:
Of course not, that's why he just has to just come clean with her, it's the only way he'll ever settle it.
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Agreed....

Once he gets "out in the world" he will realize the pickins are ripe.....

Do the math... 7.2 bilion people in the world.. 53% are female..

That's 3.61 billion to hit on.........

Shear numbers alone suggest a home run with 54,693 of them... Aim high and don't settle for first, second or third base...:)
 
wabower said:
Absolutely not. No reason to play that card.
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If he doesn't he'll continue his life in hell. Can't give up until you throw the Hail Mary play, win or lose doesn't matter as long as you play your best game. Even if you lose, if you did all you can, you can walk away without doubts.
 
No way, stupidest move he could make. He's has to work through it one way or the other, and 'fessing up gets him nowhere. She already knows the score and is obviously OK with things the way they are.

It's a cinch she won't keep it secret once he tells her, and then he's crapped in it with all the others who will then know he's playing a weak hand. Much better to keep this stuff to himself, learn to get over it and move on. If she ever comes around, or if he even wants her to do so, it's going to be much more likely if he plays it from strength or ambivalence rather than weakness. Kenny Rogers' song was right about holding and folding.


Henning said:
If he doesn't he'll continue his life in hell. Can't give up until you throw the Hail Mary play, win or lose doesn't matter as long as you play your best game. Even if you lose, if you did all you can, you can walk away without doubts.
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That may not be his style.

David, do a little thinking.

Do you want to wake up in a bed with a manipulative chick who has no interest in you 20 years from now when you're greying and fat? You ready to commit to that future?

Or do you want to wake up next to someone who actually likes you and doesn't screw with you?

Find a girl who's a true friend. Kick that one to the curb.

p.s. They're all a little manipulative and play a bit with everyone's emotions but they're female. They do that. That one is blatant about it.

p.p.s. I was smitten with Karen back when we were pups. It took someone telling her I was interested (her radar isn't quite as high-gain as the really manipulative ones) but if she had decided I was "friend-zoned" and started messing with me, it would have been over. More fish in the sea.

p.p.p.s. Watch how she treats others sometime with a feeling of detachment and analyze it a bit, reminding yourself that she would teach her children to act that way too. See if it goes against how you were raised by your folks. That'll almost always get her off your mental high horse.
 
p.p.p.p.s. My dads advice also comes to mind. If it ain't fun, why are you doing it?
 
No doubt. One of the first lessons he must learn is that some things are better kept to himself. Blabbing to Precious is a classic fold.

Henning said:
Dave's not a poker player, he hasn't got 'fold' in him. Dave will grow into a real quality man.
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wabower said:
No doubt. One of the first lessons he must learn is that some things are better kept to himself. Blabbing to Precious is a classic fold.
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It's not a fold, it's putting the cards on the table to find the honest truth. Play the hand, if you lose you lose and you can move to the next hand. If you fold, you always have that niggling. Losing teaches a more valuable lesson than running off. There is no disgrace in losing, there is however in giving up, and he knows it. He already knows not to give up, he just needs to learn to lose.
 
The truth is these type of feelings at that age is a little harder to rationalize. Been there done that and sometimes I look back, I wonder what the hell was I thinking ... but at the time there's not a whole much others can say that I would listen heart to heart to. Those feelings have to work their way through the course and eventually he will grow out of it or something/someone else will come along to take his attention somewhere else.

David just handle it on your own terms and you will be fine no matter how it turns out. At 18, man you got so much life ahead of you that it doesn't matter what/how you feel about that person, because soon down the road the feelings are likely not to be the same anymore. Many people have gone through that phase and came out much stronger and happier ... including yours truly.
 
What a crock.

When you know you have a losing hand, you never show it. Why? Because you may have to play another hand against the same player or players and there's no reason to tip them off as to what you were holding and betting. If you fold, throw in your hand face-down, keep your mouth shut and get ready to ante for the next hand.

You don't lose if you decide to sit out a few hands and see how the game progresses, any player has the option to do so and smart ones use it to their advantage. And you've got it exactly backwards, he has already lost, she has the cards, game is over. At this point he needs to figure out how to deal with it and live to play again--if he decides to stay at the same table, which probably won't happen since he's off to college soon where games are much better and he's not playing from a short stack.

If he tries to talk to her about it, he will end up crying and blubbering and making the hole even deeper. If there's any chance for a comeback (and those who have played seem to agree there's no reason to prolong the misery) it's much easier to play out of the hole he's in now than the one he will dig for himself when he starts blabbing.

Henning said:
It's not a fold, it's putting the cards on the table to find the honest truth. Play the hand, if you lose you lose and you can move to the next hand. If you fold, you always have that niggling. Losing teaches a more valuable lesson than running off. There is no disgrace in losing, there is however in giving up, and he knows it. He already knows not to give up, he just needs to learn to lose.
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Meh, he needs to end the game, once it's over it's over and he can move on or he will have won. Girls are no brighter about this stuff than guys, but honesty is always the most effective end game win or lose. If he has his cards down, the next game will be to his advantage as she will be the initiator.
 
That's what I've been saying while your were trying to parse the differences between quitting and losing and blabbing to Precious. It's time for detached David to show up with a casual, Hi, how's it going?" and quickly move on to spend time with others rather than moping about her while admiring from a distance. This isn't going to be easy for him either way, but once he figures out how to deal with it on his terms and move on, he's going to be miles ahead if and when it happens again, along with knowing a lot more about how to prevent it.

Henning said:
Meh, he needs to end the game, once it's over it's over and he can move on or he will have won. Girls are no brighter about this stuff than guys, but honesty is always the most effective end game win or lose. If he has his cards down, the next game will be to his advantage as she will be the initiator.
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wabower said:
That's what I've been saying while your were trying to parse the differences between quitting and losing and blabbing to Precious. It's time for detached David to show up with a casual, Hi, how's it going?" and quickly move on to spend time with others rather than moping about her while admiring from a distance. This isn't going to be easy for him either way, but once he figures out how to deal with it on his terms and move on, he's going to be miles ahead if and when it happens again, along with knowing a lot more about how to prevent it.
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It's not in him yet to do that, he's been trying that for over a month but can't do it. There is only one option left to him. Gotta remember he's socially behind due to homeschooling. He's going through what most guys went through at 14. He's got a heartbreak coming to him, time to get it done with and face the direct rejection. He won't force that until he fesses up to her. Either that or he'll win, get in a relationship, get sick of her crap then dump her.
 
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Why would you start out a newbie by teaching him how to lose when you can just as easily teach him how to win?

A month? Is that all we're talking about?

Has he known anything about the proven ways to win during the last month or has he just been doofusing around like a bear cub wearing boxing gloves?

He only has a heartbreak coming if he allows it, and the first lesson to be learned is that they can be avoided by planned, conscious actions that empower him and remove her from the pedestal without significant angst and mental trauma on his part.

When she becomes aware that her indifference to him has placed her back in the herd with all the others, one of two things will happen. She will like it and want to find another bull, or she will suddenly realize that the rules have changed and she can't have it both ways. In either event, he is in control of himself, which is all he can ever expect anyway, and the onus passes to her.

Henning said:
It's not in him yet to do that, he's been trying that for over a month but can't do it. There is only one option left to him. Gotta remember he's socially behind due to homeschooling. He's going through what most guys went through at 14. He's got a heartbreak coming to him, time to get it done with and face the direct rejection. He won't force that until he fesses up to her.
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Same as flying, you can tell em how to fly but they don't get it until they do it, same for crashing. Losing is an important life lesson you have to learn in order to progress.
 
It's awkard when chemicals are the driving force, and part of maturing for me was to let my brain (head on sholders brain) drive. Learning to fly was good for that disipline.
Once a girl invited me to take her sailing. I returned the invitation not once but three times , resulting in her breaking the dates for some reason or other. I remember the third time I drove to pick her up and she had something else come up and couldn't make it, She remarked that " I have all Summer to go sailing with you" I looked her square in the eye and said " No you don't" I'm busy , so long.
Clearly some people love to have others adore them and are even abusive of others admiration. Likely you are not the only one being played here.
Poker is not about what cards you are holding it is about what others think you are holding. Pots are won by losing hands all the time. Some people win by cheating. Examine the pot , is it worth the effort?
 
I wish Henning's method was the way to go, but Wayne is right. If he was a recent transplant to a big city, Henning's advice would be spot on. David's social circle is too small to employ the thermonuclear option.
 
Hennings advice is probably more appropriate for folks in their late 20s or 30s or later. Laying the cards on the table is a good strategy for grownups who are past the stage of treating love as a game.
 
Welcome to a new challenge for David to further develop his interpersonal skills. They are learned, and not innate. Ignoring a girl is the easiest thing imaginable. Don't talk to them and they won't talk to you.

The real secret is knowledge of one's self worth. The surest aphrodisiac is self-confidence. I'm genuinely surprised you have trouble with that at all David. You are already a professional, and make life or death decision every day. The most important decision the young lady makes is what color shoes to wear.
 
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give her some pilot's love and maybe she will change her mind.:D:D
at worst, she doesn't change, but you got some!!!
 
Bang her sister or mom. This solves two problems.

One, you get some.
Two, you've turned the tables and now she's wondering why her mom and sister are good enough for you and she's not.

If you don't want to go that route, just ignore her. Hang out with the group, but don't acknowledge a damn thing she says. If she asks you a question, or says something to you, simply turn to someone else, and take the conversation a completely different direction. Pretend she's not even there. Doing this goes three ways. You get booted from the group, which you are considering doing anyway. She leaves the group because she can't manipulate you anymore. Or like in the first scenario, you knock her self esteem down a few notches, and turn the tables and now she's interested in you because you aren't interested in her.
 
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