Sac Arrow

Touchdown! Greaser!
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May 11, 2010
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Charlotte, NC
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Snorting his way across the USA
I'll start...

So there I was, in the parking lot behind the pub. We will call her... Grandma Mattie. That is her car parked in the back. The aging Accord looks like it had done two tours in Afghanistan. But, this isn't about her, but it is her car.

We will call her, Sally. Grandma Mattie's daughter. Grandma Mattie's controlling daughter. Grandma Mattie's frumpy looking, 50's year old daughter. Grandma Mattie's frumpy looking, been unemployed for a while living at home, 50's year old daughter. Well, frumpy looking doting daughter too. Because she just popped the hood of Grandma Mattie's car, and was standing there holding an unopened jug of antifreeze. Baby looked confused. Understand that is 'baby' with a lowercase B, I only capitalized it because it was the beginning of a sentence. Let's be clear on that. She is just kind of staring blankly at the engine compartment.

"Uh, this is the coolant reservoir" I say to her, pointing to it. Explaining that you really don't want to pop the radiator cap when the engine is hot and even if it isn't, it rarely is necessary. But I suspect she doesn't know what a radiator cap is, or a radiator, for that matter. So I unscrew the fill cap. She struggles with how to get the cap off the coolant jug. I depress the lock thingie and open it for her.

"Well, why don't they label it as 'coolant reservoir then?' She demanded, angrily.

"Well, um..." I don't say it, but the appropriate response would be, 'If you don't know what you're looking at, you probably shouldn't be messing with it.' Which, is, pretty much correct as a general standard.

There was actually coolant in the reservoir. It looked a tad low, but not critical low. It's not like it was an immediate crisis. But she poured some in. "Stop!" I say. That's enough. Actually, that was too much.

"Oh, so there was coolant in there?"

"Yes."

"Oh. But, the air conditioner isn't working."

Oh boy. I try to explain to her the difference between an engine cooling system and a vehicular refrigeration system, but as much as I can dumb it down, like 'Jane see Dick run' level, It isn't really working... I'm wasting my time. You know how the eyes of a fish look after it's been sitting on a bed of ice for the last twelve hours? Yeah.

Grandma Mattie thanked me for the help, bought me another glass of wine, and asked me where to get the stuff that will fix the air conditioner. So I guess my next task will be topping off the AC refrigerant. "Just tell them 2000 Honda Accord and they will give you a bottle of the right stuff." And better yet, act confused, and maybe they will charge it up for you so I don't have to do it.

Next.
 
Hm. I thought this was going to be yet another thread about bad driving, but OK...

I was talking to an employee in the middle of a Home Depot (i.e. well away from the parking lot) when a lady perhaps in her 50's rudely butted in.

Her: "Do you think this will fit in my car?" (pointing at an ~8cubic-foot box in her cart)
HDE: "I don't know. What car is it?"
Her: "I have a Toyota." (rather proudly)

Confused look from the HDE.

Me: "What kind of Toyota? Land Cruiser? MR2? Sequoia? Yaris?"
Her (angrily): "I don't know! It's a Toyota!"
 
Hm. I thought this was going to be yet another thread about bad driving, but OK...

I was talking to an employee in the middle of a Home Depot (i.e. well away from the parking lot) when a lady perhaps in her 50's rudely butted in.

Her: "Do you think this will fit in my car?" (pointing at an ~8cubic-foot box in her cart)
HDE: "I don't know. What car is it?"
Her: "I have a Toyota." (rather proudly)

Confused look from the HDE.

Me: "What kind of Toyota? Land Cruiser? MR2? Sequoia? Yaris?"
Her (angrily): "I don't know! It's a Toyota!"

Well, there is no shortage of bad driver accounts. That is why I wanted it to be a bad driver/maintenance oriented discussion. Less bad driver, and more 'dude, do you know how your car works' kind of thing.
 
Since I’m here, don’t mean to pick on the ladies, but the counter was slow at O’Reilly auto parts today. We started chatting, I asked what brings her in? She said her check engine light was on, 200k miles, Honda Pilot. I know, not a biggie, I just don’t think the reader help from the single counter person is all that helpful, yes I like free.

I said it was likely an emissions deal, O2 sensor & the like. I butted out after that. No, not as off track as the OP.
 
I'll start...

So there I was, in the parking lot behind the pub. We will call her... Grandma Mattie. That is her car parked in the back. The aging Accord looks like it had done two tours in Afghanistan. But, this isn't about her, but it is her car.

We will call her, Sally. Grandma Mattie's daughter. Grandma Mattie's controlling daughter. Grandma Mattie's frumpy looking, 50's year old daughter. Grandma Mattie's frumpy looking, been unemployed for a while living at home, 50's year old daughter. Well, frumpy looking doting daughter too. Because she just popped the hood of Grandma Mattie's car, and was standing there holding an unopened jug of antifreeze. Baby looked confused. Understand that is 'baby' with a lowercase B, I only capitalized it because it was the beginning of a sentence. Let's be clear on that. She is just kind of staring blankly at the engine compartment.

"Uh, this is the coolant reservoir" I say to her, pointing to it. Explaining that you really don't want to pop the radiator cap when the engine is hot and even if it isn't, it rarely is necessary. But I suspect she doesn't know what a radiator cap is, or a radiator, for that matter. So I unscrew the fill cap. She struggles with how to get the cap off the coolant jug. I depress the lock thingie and open it for her.

"Well, why don't they label it as 'coolant reservoir then?' She demanded, angrily.

"Well, um..." I don't say it, but the appropriate response would be, 'If you don't know what you're looking at, you probably shouldn't be messing with it.' Which, is, pretty much correct as a general standard.

There was actually coolant in the reservoir. It looked a tad low, but not critical low. It's not like it was an immediate crisis. But she poured some in. "Stop!" I say. That's enough. Actually, that was too much.

"Oh, so there was coolant in there?"

"Yes."

"Oh. But, the air conditioner isn't working."

Oh boy. I try to explain to her the difference between an engine cooling system and a vehicular refrigeration system, but as much as I can dumb it down, like 'Jane see Dick run' level, It isn't really working... I'm wasting my time. You know how the eyes of a fish look after it's been sitting on a bed of ice for the last twelve hours? Yeah.

Grandma Mattie thanked me for the help, bought me another glass of wine, and asked me where to get the stuff that will fix the air conditioner. So I guess my next task will be topping off the AC refrigerant. "Just tell them 2000 Honda Accord and they will give you a bottle of the right stuff." And better yet, act confused, and maybe they will charge it up for you so I don't have to do it.

Next.
Another glass of wine?? Why’d she buy you the first? And where? Did she bring it to the parking lot for you?
 
So there I was... Auto zone, wanting an alternator for my 1964 Suburban.

“Did they make suburbans back then?”

TRY SINCE THE 30s!!!!!! ARR!! ARRRRR!! ARRRRRRRRRRR!!
 
Oooh I like this thread. Here's one for ya.

Was once spending some quality time in my usual automotive hobby shop while stationed on Okinawa, doing some work on my car. I was pretty well known as the go-to gearhead in my circles, so someone in my company spotted me and asked for help with a very nice MR2 they had just bought. They were clueless, all they knew was that the brakes were working very poorly at driving speed and they asked me to come take a quick look, maybe point them in the right direction. I happily obliged, raising the lift to give all the lines/calipers/etc. a quick once-over. Didn't see anything out of the ordinary, aside from how remarkably clean the undercarriage was. No leaks, cracks, wet spots, or rust anywhere of concern. Rotors and pads all looked good from what I could see.

Let the lift down and pumped the pedal, pressure seemed normal and didn't sponge down when I held it in, with or without the engine running. Popped the hood to get eyes on the master cylinder and booster. It was visibly full through the translucent reservoir, and didn't appear dirty, though the color seemed a bit off. At first glance I kinda shrugged it off and assumed it was just the lighting. Continued to scratch my head for a few minutes, asked him if he had done anything to it recently, to which he replied "Nope, just bought it the other day."

My mind went back to the master cylinder and odd-colored reservoir. Popped the cap off. Ohhh no. No no no. The fluid was an all-too-familiar bright radioactive green.

Did a quick google sanity-check to make sure there was no new weird green brake fluid on the market. Nope.

Performed a sniff test, and it was the sweetest brake fluid I had ever smelled. After confirming with a super-scientific friction test between two dipped fingers, I had to break the news that he was officially screwed and wouldn't be driving anywhere without a very expensive brake job.

Not only did someone ROYALLY screw up and put coolant in the brake reservoir, but remember this was an MR2, a mid-engine coupe. The engine and all its associated reservoirs/fill caps/radiators were on the opposite end of the vehicle. The ONLY fillable thing under the "hood" was the brake reservoir.
 
Another good one: Was parting an R32 skyline out, and it naturally turned into an open-house where many of the local tuner community flocked to my driveway. One guy shows up and asks how much I wanted for the starter. After explaining that I didn't want to separate it from the engine, and it was too difficult to get to that night, he argued with me, saying "What do you mean, it's right there!" He was pointing to the wiper motor.

This same guy later walked up to me a few minutes later holding up what looked like a window switch with a chunk of chopped-off wiring harness attached, "Hey, how much you want for this?"
I reply, confused, "Uhh, what is that and where did you get it!?"
"I just cut it out, it's the one of window switches"
"ARE YOU S#!TTING ME?! YOU SERIOUSLY JUST HACKED UP MY WIRING HARNESS, ON A CAR I'M ACTIVELY TRYING TO PART OUT?!?! GIVE IT BACK TO ME AND GET THE F'K OFF MY PROPERTY"
He had cut off a chunk of wiring harness literally 3 inches away from a connector that could have been unplugged, presumably to force me into letting him have it since I could no longer sell it anyway.

That dude later had charges filed against him for selling a car to a revered local mechanic/salvager, then stripping it bare before they could pick it up with the tow truck. Stupid people can be infuriating, but nothing boils my blood faster than stupid AND dishonest.
 
I'll start...

So there I was, in the parking lot behind the pub. We will call her... Grandma Mattie. That is her car parked in the back. The aging Accord looks like it had done two tours in Afghanistan. But, this isn't about her, but it is her car.

We will call her, Sally. Grandma Mattie's daughter. Grandma Mattie's controlling daughter. Grandma Mattie's frumpy looking, 50's year old daughter. Grandma Mattie's frumpy looking, been unemployed for a while living at home, 50's year old daughter. Well, frumpy looking doting daughter too. Because she just popped the hood of Grandma Mattie's car, and was standing there holding an unopened jug of antifreeze. Baby looked confused. Understand that is 'baby' with a lowercase B, I only capitalized it because it was the beginning of a sentence. Let's be clear on that. She is just kind of staring blankly at the engine compartment.

"Uh, this is the coolant reservoir" I say to her, pointing to it. Explaining that you really don't want to pop the radiator cap when the engine is hot and even if it isn't, it rarely is necessary. But I suspect she doesn't know what a radiator cap is, or a radiator, for that matter. So I unscrew the fill cap. She struggles with how to get the cap off the coolant jug. I depress the lock thingie and open it for her.

"Well, why don't they label it as 'coolant reservoir then?' She demanded, angrily.

"Well, um..." I don't say it, but the appropriate response would be, 'If you don't know what you're looking at, you probably shouldn't be messing with it.' Which, is, pretty much correct as a general standard.

There was actually coolant in the reservoir. It looked a tad low, but not critical low. It's not like it was an immediate crisis. But she poured some in. "Stop!" I say. That's enough. Actually, that was too much.

"Oh, so there was coolant in there?"

"Yes."

"Oh. But, the air conditioner isn't working."

Oh boy. I try to explain to her the difference between an engine cooling system and a vehicular refrigeration system, but as much as I can dumb it down, like 'Jane see Dick run' level, It isn't really working... I'm wasting my time. You know how the eyes of a fish look after it's been sitting on a bed of ice for the last twelve hours? Yeah.

Grandma Mattie thanked me for the help, bought me another glass of wine, and asked me where to get the stuff that will fix the air conditioner. So I guess my next task will be topping off the AC refrigerant. "Just tell them 2000 Honda Accord and they will give you a bottle of the right stuff." And better yet, act confused, and maybe they will charge it up for you so I don't have to do it.

Next.
I had a lady recently asked me at the hardware store how do I know what colors in the spray can of paint. I politely told her that the color of the cap is the color of the contents. I had to repeat myself twice
 
I had a lady recently asked me at the hardware store how do I know what colors in the spray can of paint. I politely told her that the color of the cap is the color of the contents. I had to repeat myself twice

I never liked that, I always worried some idiot didn’t swap around the caps and always double checked.
 
BWAHAHAHA!!! Has somebody switched a few caps before? Don’t lie, we will know! BWAHAHAHA

Don’t ask me why I NEVER considered that. Now I kinda wanna...

Who’s starting the practical joke thread? Now back to car morons.
 
A little different story, but rhymes. My wife took our granddaughter in to pick up her car (Juke) at the Nissan dealer. Helpful young man sees attractive 20y/o. "I'll go get it for you while you pay." Minutes later comes walking back, looking startled and a little embarrassed. "It's a stick!"
 
I never liked that, I always worried some idiot didn’t swap around the caps and always double checked.
I always double check as well. And not in the manner of the idiots who spray a test patch on the floor of the paint aisle. The color name is printed on the can.
 
Lady pulls up and her car is making an odd "squeaking" kinda sound. Never heard a VW Rabbit do that before. I look under the hood and pull the dip stick to find that it is full of oil. I mean it is full of oil ... when I opened the oil fill cap it was filled to the brim ... :dunno:
 
So there I was... Auto zone, wanting an alternator for my 1964 Suburban.

“Did they make suburbans back then?”

TRY SINCE THE 30s!!!!!! ARR!! ARRRRR!! ARRRRRRRRRRR!!



For those that did not know, Suburban was also used by DeSoto, Dodge, Studebaker and Nash.
 
When I was in college, I got a little bit of a reputation as a wrench, although I'll admit I'm no master mechanic. Probably because I knew how to pop a hood.

Anyway, one evening a fellow student, ROTC cadet, stopped by my dorm to ask for help with his truck. Said he was having trouble with it overheating, even though he keeps adding oil to it. I just looked at him and said "What?". Downstairs we go to find his Ranger, with nearly to the filler cap, and a bone dry radiator.

Would you believe he went on to become a pilot? Good thing the Air Force has people that take care of the plane for you.
 
Lady pulls up and her car is making an odd "squeaking" kinda sound. Never heard a VW Rabbit do that before. I look under the hood and pull the dip stick to find that it is full of oil. I mean it is full of oil ... when I opened the oil fill cap it was filled to the brim ... :dunno:

I just saw a guy a couple weekends ago pour oil all over his Mercedes E class engine because he overfilled while “topping off his oil” which he had been in the habit of doing every couple of gas fill-ups…
 
A friend, not known for his skills as a mechanic but free with advice, asked me to help change his starter which was not turning over the engine. Since I knew he would be a real nuisance in this fix, I got under the hood and checked the battery with a multimeter and saw it was good but not grounded and the ground cable was corroded. This of course would lead to endless “advice” from the friend since it didn’t involve the starter which he “knew” was bad.

So I looked at the starter and told him the mounting bolt was loose and I needed a bolt stretcher to make it long enough to make sure it was secure. I “didn’t have one with me” so I told him to go to the nearest parts store and borrow one.

This got him out of my hair long enough to clean the terminals and the car fired right up. My friend came back and dejectedly told me the parts store didn’t have one in stock. I explained I had remedied the problem by removing some washers that were improperly installed.

I later stopped by the parts store with a 6 Pack for the clerk.

Cheers
 
BTW - if you like these kinds of stories, Google “Customer states…”

Example here:
 
A friend, not known for his skills as a mechanic but free with advice, asked me to help change his starter which was not turning over the engine. Since I knew he would be a real nuisance in this fix, I got under the hood and checked the battery with a multimeter and saw it was good but not grounded and the ground cable was corroded. This of course would lead to endless “advice” from the friend since it didn’t involve the starter which he “knew” was bad.

So I looked at the starter and told him the mounting bolt was loose and I needed a bolt stretcher to make it long enough to make sure it was secure. I “didn’t have one with me” so I told him to go to the nearest parts store and borrow one.

This got him out of my hair long enough to clean the terminals and the car fired right up. My friend came back and dejectedly told me the parts store didn’t have one in stock. I explained I had remedied the problem by removing some washers that were improperly installed.

I later stopped by the parts store with a 6 Pack for the clerk.

Cheers
Bolt stretcher. Lol. I was in a hardware store with my father in law looking for a bolt. Girl that worked there comes up asking if we need any help. He tells her what size were looking for. She looks and can't find one. He asks her if they have a bolt stretcher. She walks off. A minute later she comes back with the Manager. The look on his face was priceless. And then hers when she realized what had happened. Thanks for the memory. That was many many moons ago and I haven't heard 'bolt stretcher' since
 
I have never seen a jello mold made of oil. WTF.

Yeah I'm not really sure how that happened... Any guesses?

There are a lot of WTF moments in those videos. Amazing what people will do!
 
BTW - if you like these kinds of stories, Google “Customer states…”

Example here:
At about 3 minutes in, there is a BMW with a few bullet holes. I can completely relate.

I was driving on I55 (Chicago) once in my E60 5 series, I hear a loud pop. Unable to diagnose what the matter was, I continued home. I park and by the next morning, the car is sitting in a pool of coolant. I get it towed to the dealer on my way to work. When they told me it needed a new radiator (and I was trying to call their BS), they called me in. I walked under the car with the mechanic and he took a screw driver and stuck it through a spot in the radiator all the way to the block.

Yikes! At least it was a small caliber hole!
 
I don't know, because it didn't look *that* dirty. I saw a vid of someone that picked up an old car to restore that hadn't moved in like 60 years and the gasoline in the gas tank had solidified, but oil in a car thats being used, no idea.

Yeah, old gas turning to varnish is relatively common but oil turning to jello seems like a prank or something... I can't think of a normal chemical process that would result in that.
 
The rear ended on my 59 ford was leaking. Pinion seal, 3rd member gasket and one wheel seal. I went to Napa to find a pinion seal, 3rd member gasket, wheel seals, crush collar, and pinion support o ring. At least the counter girl knew what a ford 9” was! Went over to auto zone, I knew better but did it anyway, kid behind the counter had no idea what a ford 9” was! Absolutely no idea!
 
The rear ended on my 59 ford was leaking. Pinion seal, 3rd member gasket and one wheel seal. I went to Napa to find a pinion seal, 3rd member gasket, wheel seals, crush collar, and pinion support o ring. At least the counter girl knew what a ford 9” was! Went over to auto zone, I knew better but did it anyway, kid behind the counter had no idea what a ford 9” was! Absolutely no idea!

A good parts counter person is worth their weight in gold. At work we have a orphaned one off piece of equipment, and had a drivebox mount sheer the bolt and the rubber mount disappeared. We were able to remove the matching one from the opposite side, but had no idea how we would ever source a replacement. On a whim, I took the part to our local NAPA. One counter person was flipping through catalog after catalog trying to see if we could find a match, when the other counter guy walked by, looked over his shoulder, and said, "1986 Chevy half ton transmission mount" and walked off, leaving both of us stunned. Sure enough they had one on the shelf and it was a perfect match. Fortunately for us the former manufacturer of that piece of equipment used available parts versus fabricating their own.
 
So there I was... southern tool and hydraulic. Knew them. Dumped a handful of parts on the counter and waited my turn. When it was my turn, the guy walked off without even acknowledging me. I was like what the eff?? Did I insult his mother last time?? I was steamed.

A moment later he walks back in, tosses a bag of parts on the counter, it slides over to me like a beer mug on a bar, he heads to the cash register and says... “1 1/2 ton walker car Jack?”

Whoa!!!! Never even saw him look, I think he could tell by smell or something!
 
So there I was... southern tool and hydraulic. Knew them. Dumped a handful of parts on the counter and waited my turn. When it was my turn, the guy walked off without even acknowledging me. I was like what the eff?? Did I insult his mother last time?? I was steamed.

A moment later he walks back in, tosses a bag of parts on the counter, it slides over to me like a beer mug on a bar, he heads to the cash register and says... “1 1/2 ton walker car Jack?”

Whoa!!!! Never even saw him look, I think he could tell by smell or something!

Mine woulda given a blank stare and said: "I need a make, model, and year."
 
Mine woulda given a blank stare and said: "I need a make, model, and year."
Yeah, their computer gets unhappy if they don't enter m/m/y information. On more than a few occasions I've been in the auto parts store buying something for my plane and they ask me that, sometimes I just say "you wouldn't believe it if I told you."
 
I find the dumb motorist with regards to not knowing vehicles is the dress up bikers on shiny new Harleys. The only thing they seem to know is how to attach shiny new pieces of chrome never having touched a wrench to anything else because they don’t know. Once rescued a dead Harley because the owner had the kill switch in the kill position and it wouldn’t start. Another time tried to push start one and told the driver to pop the clutch after we get rolling about 50 feet. He asks if he still should push the starter button. Harley stopped making the Knucklehead engine in 1948 but there are still plenty of knuckleheads on Harley’s.
 
Was once spending some quality time in my usual automotive hobby shop while stationed on Okinawa, doing some work on my car. I was pretty well known as the go-to gearhead in my circles, so someone in my company spotted me and asked for help with a very nice MR2 they had just bought.

Things must have changed since I was there or you ran with a higher class than I did. I was stationed at Kadena for five years. Most of us (enlisted) bought <$1000 rust buckets to drive around in. Okinawa just reduces every car I've seen into rust, even the new ones. If fact when they would fire up the J58 (SR71 engine) on the test cell almost a half mile away from where I parked my car for work, you could see the rust falling on the ground from my car. Most of us would just drive our cars until the compulsory inspection cost more than the car was worth and we'd just buy another one.

However, in response to the thread I have a kid that I work with who has a Nissan Sentra. It's nothing special but his fuel door latch is broken and he drives it around with that thing flapping in the wind. Meanwhile, he and his wife buy $1000 dogs and other high dollar things. Each time he announces his latest purchase, I always ask him, "did you get your fuel door fixed yet?" Going on three years now and that thing is still flapping in the wind. In that same vein, how many of you have seen people driving down the road with the fuel door open and fuel pouring out when they accelerate?
 
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An unnamed person called me and explained that there was a loud noise coming from the rear axle area of the car. When I asked how loud it was, I was told:

"I had to keep turning up the volume on the radio and couldn't drown out the noise. That's when i decided to call you."
 
"I had to keep turning up the volume on the radio and couldn't drown out the noise. That's when i decided to call you."

Karen’s dad sold used cars for a while. She said a common suggestion regarding unwanted noises was to just turn up the radio!
 
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Yeah, their computer gets unhappy if they don't enter m/m/y information. On more than a few occasions I've been in the auto parts store buying something for my plane and they ask me that, sometimes I just say "you wouldn't believe it if I told you."

Its not that it gets unhappy, the software simply starts its parts lookup either by a part number if known, of m/m/y/engine/drivetrain. The issue isn't with the software, its with staff that has little to no knowledge working with car parts and are completely dependent on the software. Back when I worked at such a store as a summer job, I quickly became able to recall common filters and other commonly bought items without looking it up. Even just knowing you don't have to ask 2wd or 4wd to give someone the part number for a windshield wiper, makes you look like you know what you are doing a little more.

The system back then was also DOS based, all text and no pictures.
 
Worked in a Lincoln Mercury Edsel (Yes Edsel) dealership back in high school and college. Took me about two weeks to figure out how Ford assigned part numbers which was completely logical.

OTOH we also sold Renaults. Their numbering system was essentially random and complicated by the fact they would change them completely unconnected to model year. This required me to ask the serial number of the car when somebody asked for a doohickey for a 1960 Dauphine since it could be any of sometimes three different non interchangeable parts.

Cheers
 
Heard the story of the woman that took her car in for service. As she waited in the service lounge the manger came in to ask if she had a spare key. She did and was asked to walk back with the manager as the mechanic had inadvertently locked the car with the keys in it.

Upon entering the service bay she noted the mechanic was jiggling a slim jim in the driver's side door attempting to unlock it. Seeing the passenger side unlocked she pointed this out to the mechanic who then said, "yes ma'am, I already did that side!" ;)
 
Oh, I almost forgot. This was a couple weeks ago - same parking lot. One of the ladies that works at the Czech-Italian restaurant next door got a flat tire on her truck (it went flat in the parking lot. It was a big, massive, lowered Silverado pickup with oversize rims and those long, protruding spear like lug nuts. The problem was, she (a) didn't have the tool required to remove the lug nuts, and (b) didn't have a proper jack capable of lifting the lowered truck. El Capitan Savejo (Captain save-a-ho) and is buddy tried desperately for at least two hours trying to jack the thing up and once they did, trying to get the lug nuts off.

I guess they eventually did, because the next day it was sitting there with new meats on all four wheels. Lessons were learned that day.
 
An unnamed person called me and explained that there was a loud noise coming from the rear axle area of the car. When I asked how loud it was, I was told:

"I had to keep turning up the volume on the radio and couldn't drown out the noise. That's when i decided to call you."

Many years ago I worked at a Ford Dealership. There was a guy that was....we called him Special Ed was.... let's just say not the sharpest tool in the shed. His job was mainly to assist the service writers. One day 2 elderly ladies dropped off their car to get serviced and a noise checked out. The service writer asked Special Ed to take the two ladies home in their car. While on the way to their home the 2 ladies were talking about the noise they were hearing. ''Special Ed'' stated something like. ''It sounds like it's coming from your rear end.''... or something along those lines.

The poor service writer was on the phone trying to explain to the 2 ladies what he meant by saying what he said......
 
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For lack of a better thread to post this - unlike the movies - what really happens when you run over a fire hydrant...

https://youtube.com/clip/UgkxkyLdyP_JgWuUsqTUSBdUzb4jwX9GJbro

Also:
Buddy shows up with a Fiat station wagon (this was late '60s) with rod knock - got a great deal on it (He knew what the problem was). Went to the Fiat dealer to get parts for the rebuild - dealer starts asking questions: "How long have you had it? Was it green? etc." Finally the dealer asks if he wants to hear the story of the car - some guy bought it and just drove it. Started making noise. Kept driving. Finally, a rod punched a hole in the block. They guy took it back to the dealer and wanted to get it fixed under warranty. It didn't take long to figure out there was no oil in the engine and they guy claimed that he had never been told that you have to check the oil and made a big enough fuss that the dealer caved and put in an engine. The guy starts driving it. After a while it starts making the same noise. Takes it back to the dealer again - claims it wasn't his fault because he added oil when it started knocking and the oil didn't fix it. Car was defective. He was going to sue... Dealer told him to go away.
 
Things must have changed since I was there or you ran with a higher class than I did.

Oh don't get me wrong, Oki is still the place where cars go to die. The vast majority did just that, bought <$1000 "Oki rentals" and junked them before they PCS'd out(I drove a couple of rustbuckets). But there was still a tuner scene, and I was there in the era when many iconic JDM vehicles were becoming eligible for US import. So, many were starting to buy the best specimens available to ship back and make a quick buck

Kinda like the schmuck in my unit who bought a pristine Fairlady Z31. And I mean gorgeously pristine. He taught himself how to drive stick in it....aaaand shortly decided to race it down a very technical mountain road. Ended up clipping a local and rolling it a few times. Damn kids.
 
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